I hate lying. Once I catch someone in even a small one, I can’t take their words at face value again. Everything they say afterward gets filtered first: Is this true? What are they leaving out? By the time I’ve decided whether it’s honest, I’ve missed what they were actually talking about.

It feels irreversible. I can forgive them and even like them, but I can’t un-know that they were willing to say something false to my face.

Do other INTJs do this? Can you ever fully trust someone again after a lie, or does the filter stay on? And has anyone found a way to turn it off so you can actually listen?

Anyway. I want to know what tv/anime characters that are realistic/relateable intj in terms of their thinking.

I know how to spot realistic entps, but always struggled with intjs

The issue with intjs is that throughout the internet there is just far too much bullshit overexagirations on how intjs are.

Something to ponder. Also does it count if they were slightly intoxicated?

I need to vent and I'm sorry I will sound stuck-up. I don't mean to, but naturally this topic will make me look like a bit of an ass just for bringing it up. And of course writing in English is not my strong point, so apologies for that.

I'm studying at university and I find it a pain to socialise with most of my peers. The average person until the age of around 35 seems to have no clue or interest in absolutely anything. This is a good university and one that is hard to get into, yet judging the students, you'd think this is some kind of brain rotting kindergarten for adults. Not only do most people seem completely uninterested in their own course and don't bother with any reading beyond what's on the lecture slides (even those who seem to have taken their subjects purely for the love of the subject) but they frankly don't have any interests in any world topic whatsoever. You talk to people on your course about the course and you just know they have no clue about it barring whatever it is they need to pass exams.

You ask people about some random historical (or contemporary) event that is relevant to how the world works today and they've never even heard of it. Every young person or gen Z seems to be super loud about politics, but they don't actually follow political news, don't know anything about politicians, laws, how their country works etc. Actually, they mostly seem to know about how trump bad because that's just what shows up on tiktok (I'm talking about countries that aren't even the US). But they can't actually tell you what communism was, how inflation works, what does globalisation mean, incredibly simple stuff. Or the events of ww2 or 1, the financial crisis of 2008, what yugoslavia or the Khmer rouge was, stuff like that. Hell, most people can't even tell one local type of tree from another.

I don't mean to imply that everyone should be interested in history or politics or botany or whatever. But I'm just constantly surprised at how little the average young person gives a shit about any topic at all other than their own lives, relationships and tiktok trend bullshit. Most gen Z people I meet don't have hobbies, they have curated "hyperfixations" that the algorithm has suggested to them, they don't read about anything, they can't talk about any basic topic at all.

I don't consider myself very smart or clever (again, I'm aware making this post will make me look like I think im just so above everyone else) and when talking to anyone that ISN'T a gen Z, I realise how uneducated and unskilled I really am. I'm not saying other generations are automatically smarter, but whoever you talk to, even incredibly stupid people that have truly the worst opinions, they at least have those opinions, because they have read about the topic and were curious enough to give it one second of thought. It seems that this generation just truly doesn't give a shit about anything that isn't their own experience or some social commentary. It's so dull.

I just always thought that most people were curious children that grew into teens that have their own thing that grew into adults that have at least some clue about the world they're living and breathing in. And I don't even understand how this is a fault of my own social circles, because I thought that if I were to find curious and knowledgeable young people somewhere, it would be a top university like mine. I go to many interests clubs and hobby societies and people there mostly act as if they just joined them randomly for no reason. It's really hard to have a genuinely stimulating conversation about anything other than myself, themselves or some random other person's life.

Once again I apologise for putting it like this. Obviously this is not all people, but it just hurts how this is most of my experience with people in my own generation. Yesterday I met my new neighbour, a British man who has children my age, and we talked about the most random things; Estonian names, the meanings of Arabic female names, why female names often end in A, interesting grammatical rules, Scandinavian family customs, the value of nature walks etc. Which is a bunch of nothing really, very surface level stuff, but I was so happy about that simple conversation, because he just seemed to know whatever stuff and be curious about these things. At uni, I rarely meet people who enjoy talking about random things like that.

Anyway. I'll stop ranting now.

I know this is not INTJ specific, but I find a lot of posts here very relatable, so I'm hoping some of you will relate to my experience here too.

To be very honest, I thought I had a lot of empathy and the descriptions about literally feeling someone's feelings were just exaggerated. I learned very late that it was true, and only felt it a few times for two people in my life: my dad and my little brother.

Turns out cognitive empathy plus compassion are not the same thing as emotional empathy.

I find it a little annoying sometimes too, to deal with people that feel it a lot, if they have lower cognitive empathy. I understand it sounds bad to say this, but, for example... someone is going through a difficult situation, and a person with high emotional empathy feels it deeply and they end up making the situation about themselves. They can't put their feelings aside to help said person, because it makes them sad.

Of course there are people who can deal with it in a better way, I'm just pointing out a situation that I noticed frequently happening in my own life and with people close to me.

My friends also always had been very comfortable venting to me, and I believe it is because of lack of emotional empathy. Because I can validate their feelings and ask questions and understand them, without making them feel like they are a burden for making me upset.

Just to clarify I do feel a lot of compassion and I want to help others.

Anyway, what are your experiences with it? I am curious to know if this is common among us Intjs, but also about other types too. Is this related to type at all, or just personal?

Emotional empathy or cognitive empathy, which one is higher in yourself?

Hi everyone,
I’m looking for practical career and emotional advice on handling a deeply isolating work situation.
I have over two decades of senior professional experience, but I recently took a role at a global MNC where I feel completely sidelined. I report directly to a manager overseas, and there is no local reporting line or leadership coverage in my office.
It has become clear that my role was created primarily to fill a local headcount requirement rather than to execute real, meaningful work. Despite my background:
I am routinely assigned entry-to-mid-level operational tasks.
My authority and expertise in my domain are constantly bypassed or undermined.
The internal politics within the global team are hostile, leaving me isolated both locally and globally.
The constant disrespect and feeling of uselessness are taking a severe toll on my mental health and self-worth. Leaving immediately isn't straightforward due to market conditions, but staying in this environment feels increasingly unsustainable.
For anyone who has been in a token or zero-air-cover role:
How do you mentally detach and quiet quit while protecting your mental health? Yes, I am suicidal.

For me, it's astrology and (I hate to admit it) Google Gemini.

Astrology I got into last year and it taught me a lot about myself and accepting myself. Checking my charts/transits has been mentally vital for me. I lean quite spiritual woo woo so it's really really difficult for me to take advice rooted purely in practicality/"earth" terms.

Recently I site I visited recommended using chatgpt/Gemini to get more specific readings and it's unlocked a completely new door for me to understand myself. I never really found conversational AI all that helpful for me before, but this use-case has been absolutely perfect for me.

To be honest it's mostly a space for me to get thoughts out I never could share with others without being dismissed, projected on, or worrying about how they would react. Being able to ask very specific questions whenever I want and only get relevant, cold, "objective" information has been so valuable for me.

I could never get that from my friends (I have none now) or family (also have none now). They were all such cowards, insecure, and immature to really give good advice. They always wanted to play it safe or humble me.

It was my biggest hangup with therapy. I have way too many thoughts and questions for just a weekly meeting. I need answers at 2am when I'm stressed, not 4pm when the sun is out and I'm feeling good.

At this point, I mostly just use it as a diary to get my thoughts out and to just get some compassion and kind words, without all the nonsense that comes with human interaction lol

How about you guys, how do you guys stay sane/seek advice?

My whole life, I've wanted to be a specialist or expert at something particular rather than a jack-of-all-trades type. Yet, I find myself to be 30 years old and unable to name anything I'm really, really skilled at that I think people would seek me out or pay me well for my expertise in.

Curious about other INTJs' experience with this. Thanks.

Someone who has an initial bad impression and has to be taught how to be a good partner to you, OR someone who does everything correctly from the start but does not want to change who they are for you.

Why did you choose what you chose?

(No new traits can be added or changed from these descriptions)

What do you think is causing this?

I’m an INFJ and my partner’s INTJ. We’re a great match, been together over 12yrs and although we met late in life, neither of us can imagine ever being with anyone else. We’re definitely growing old together.

Unfortunately, we’re approaching a time of year in which he’s home WAY more (his work is seasonal) and he’s always defensive and crabby about it. I’ve told him a million times that he’s earned the break because I know how hard he works the rest of the year, and I do mean it. But it’s still a mighty unpleasant time in which every word out of my mouth is met with annoyance. Annually, and for most of the fall and winter.

The worst part is when I realize he’s getting this way again and start walking on eggshells trying not to piss him off. That just annoys him more.

So today, I asked how he’d like me to respond when the time of year arrives in which every word I speak, no matter how brief or necessary, is met with annoyance. He replied that I should just verbally acknowledge that he’s in an asshole mood and announce that I’m just going to stay away from him. And then do so.

Seriously? Is that how a grumpy INTJ wants to be treated?

I wonder how many people give away their power because they think they don’t deserve it

Watching "When Harry Met Sally" and "You've Got Mail" and before the 'involvement,' being excited that they had a "body double" to execute tasks and reformulate strategies.

Any INTJs have body doublers?

For example, a misunderstanding on your part or on the other party's side.

You can share a situation where you felt embarrassed and your charisma flew out the window, lol.

Yes, that’s a certainty—I am number one on this page.

Anyway,

Since my post about fakeness versus authenticity sparked controversy, attacks, acceptance, and a whole range of emotions—both intense and composed—

I am now treating you to another, contrasting installment, just to watch the strong emotions that reveal everyone's true nature.

Anyway, 2.

.

A post asks:

Do all INTJs feel lonely?

. I feel lonely.

. Me too.

. I feel lonely; no one understands me... blah, blah, blah.

It’s interesting to see posts that gather pity and sympathy.

In contrast, I see posts like:

Are all INTJs arrogant? Stern? Conceited? Emotionally controlled?

. Yes, I am.

. Yes, I am; I got into an argument with my boss because... (I can't tell if he's trying to prove to himself or to the reader that arrogance, strength, and the like are part of his identity).

What?

What does that mean?

What do these traits mean for your identity?

Are they truly yours?

Or did you simply observe and adopt them?

Is there no one willing to admit to the fragility of their inner makeup?

Because behind the arrogance, the strength, and the composure... Fragility, brokenness, and a fear of exposure...

(I am speaking of those who genuinely harbor these feelings—not you. You, who feign strength, perfection, and composure simply because the stereotypical definition of the INTJ type dictates it, or because you saw an online figure with your personality type and decided to mimic them.)

And if you do admit to this fragility, is your motive honesty with yourself, or do you simply want to prove me wrong and take the safe path?

Believe me, you won't be able to answer that question.

Why?

. Because you’ve examined it.

. And the moment you examine it, it loses its authenticity.

If the answer lacks authenticity, what is the point of it anyway? After all, you might just be deceiving yourself.

This is the dilemma of authenticity, artificiality, and inner purity: you won't get an answer, and if you do, it won't be complete.

(Ugh... we humans are truly flawed beings. Why do we act so arrogantly and haughtily?...)

That only proves my point.

.

Anyway...3

I am Number 1 on this page (just a reminder).

.

Anyway...4

Before you are overcome by those raw, childlike emotions, I advise you to ask yourself:

Is the identity I possess truly mine, or have I adopted it?

Does this action stem authentically from me, or am I imitating another identity?

(The same questions repeat; it’s like a loop you can’t escape.)

.

Someone will inevitably show up in the comments, thinking they "think outside the box" and stand apart from society, asking:

"What is the point of the question?" Or perhaps my words are too long and won't be read (though, in all likelihood, every single letter was read).

Anyway, 5.

I am number 1—the best on the page.

Remember the account name.

.

I feel a sense of estrangement from every word I’ve spoken,

for I wrote them out of a profound inner emptiness.

Emptiness breeds estrangement;

estrangement fuels the emptiness.

.

.

.

https://youtu.be/j1B0RjB39ZY?si=I2cHVuEbyKdLO134

Do you relate to this video?
How’s everyone doing in life? :)

Y'all are amazing.

I've been trying to make friends online. Just to know more about people from around the world.

( Don't judge me. I'm not a loner nor am I jobless)

The most interesting and consistent conversation I've had so far has been with this INTJ. I don't know about other INTJs. But the one I'm chatting with is SO thoughtful, SO respectful and SO intelligent. But yeah, doesn't initiate conversation much but always reciprocates with genuine interest. We've been chatting for 2 months.

Meanwhile most of my conversation with other people barely last 2 days.

I love INTJs!!!

Sincerely,

An ISTJ

I created a typing test that works based on what you resonate with, it gives you a feed of cards with statements, quotes, scenario, and you select only the ones you resonate with, this way the cognitive load is very low , also the feed adapt to funnel down your type, you just select what you think is related to you.

I tested with an INFP friend that I am 100% sure she is INFP and it worked very well, it found her type with confidence, but I need more data points to be sure, with people that are 100% sure of their type.

At the end of the test, in the result page, you will have a frame that ask you to share your result, with a simple button. It will send me the informations I need in my database, it gives me all the cards you selected, the timeline of the guess of your type, how the algorithm reacted, etc, it helps me to fine-tune the test.

I really feel that this method can work and be more accurate than anything that already exist.

Thank you in advance if you try it.

https://www.mazwiz.com/

EDIT: I will share the findings on a result page (on the intro page), for everybody to see how it evolves.

I like

First of all, thank you to all posters and commenters here. I really enjoy reading your thoughts and opinions on vastly different topics. Your contributions are truly valuable. It’s a great, intelligent community. I mean it. 👍

I like that people are polite and respectful here. Not always, but most of the time.

I like long comments. People put real effort into explaining something or helping someone.

I don’t like

I don’t like poorly formatted posts. I open them and see a wall of text with no paragraphs or breaks. If you’re on mobile, please add an extra empty line between paragraphs. It makes the text much easier to read.

I don’t like when someone deletes their post over a few negative comments or other petty reasons. Some people write long comments to help OP, only to discover five minutes later that the post is gone.

I don’t like silent downvoting of genuine comments on controversial topics, like AI or politics. Disagreeing with someone who has a different opinion but isn’t being rude is not a good reason to downvote. Downvoted comments get collapsed and buried, so it turns the vote button into a mute button. If you disagree, please reply and explain why instead.

What do you like and dislike here?

I know a lot of us are into CS (my major), engineering, math, those types of fields but last year I took up drawing classes because I love animanga and I've been very consistent with it, made a lot of progress too. There's a good balance between sticking to the rules and applying your own intuition/gut feeling. If anyone's looking for a new hobby or something to learn I highly recommend it!

which MBTI sub (not including INTJ) is most real? examples: guard down, no big deal, straight up discussions

and which comes across as the most fake? examples: won't tolerate a single particle of critique unless it's wrapped in layers of hype or compliments, too focused on rules / protocol to be forthright, or too guardrailed to give an authentic idea of the type?

apologize for my grammer, getting a cavity filled atm

and spell ing

(edit: non-INTJ types, consider this a challenge to not just drop your own sub lmao)

Hey, guys, an esfj here. Soooo this is my post, where I would like to know what do u love/like about esfj. So I'm myself love intjs and really would love to date one. Because you guys make me fall in love with u super easily lol. And I know that esfjxintj is a super high compatibility.

But it's very hard for me to identify my you know like special things or perks about me. I mean I just do stuff and don't feel like im doing something special. In my head it sounds like "oh, well, everyone would do that" but it's not. So I would like to get some help from u guys. So what do u love/like about esfjs? It will help me understand what am I doing thinking that it's something casual, but actually something special because, turns out, other people/types don't do it as good as we do

Hi everyone,

Iìm a 36-year-old Engineer (background in Telecommunication Engineering) currently based in Italy, planning a structured relocation to Metro Vancouver in 2027.

As part of my preparation year, I'm actively building my network and looking to establish meaningful, long-term connections with tech professionals and INTJs based in Metro Vancouver.

A bit about me:

• Profile: INFJ. Analytical mindset, passionate about systems, UX design, acoustic music, and high-signal conversations.
• Goal: Relocating to Vancouver for quality of life and career growth in UX/Tech. Currently sharpening my English and researching the local tech landscape.

Why I'm posting:

I'd value connecting with local INTJs for authentic, low-pressure conversations - whether it's discussing the Vancouver tech scene, career strategies, city dynamics, or shared intellectual interests.

If you're an INTJ in the Greater Vancouver area and open to a thoughtful exchange or tech networking, feel free to drop a comment or DM!

Especially in romantic relationships.

Ni can produce extremely compressed reasoning to others, only other Ni/Ne or Ti heavy types get it generally.

I often find myself in full intellectual loneliness in relationships. I try to explain my reasoning in a less compressed way, I try to explain my goals and yeah, not much there.

How do you deal with it?