Went to a concert the other day and my wife told me people were checking me out! That’s never happened to me before! I’m riding the high still lol

I need help understanding my identity 🫩

I was AMAB and identified as gender fluid from 2023-last month, then i wasnt so sure anymore. I thought and still wonder if I could be trans, and spent a couple weeks identifying as female (in my head), and called myself a new name, even told my friend i "think im trans" and went on to dye my hair, taking on a new and more feminine apperance.

Since 2024 i didnt spend more than 1-2 days presenting as female, then in June a relationship ended that i presented almost entierly male thoughout (for roughly 1 year). Scince then my feminine side grew and i became more comfortable with it.

However, as time passed my feelings toward this identity have faded and today im no longer certin if im trans or still just gender fluid. OR, if ive just accepted it as normal and dont feel 'gay enough' as its not part of my regular day anymore.

Anyway, do any gender fluid pros have epic knowledge that could be helpful to me solving who i am? Maybe someone could pick my brain..? 🤔

Thanks for reading 👁👄👁

Sometimes I just want to scream, becouse I don't know what I am. It feels like moving to a new home every some weeks, like absolute stress until I find my way around and than I'm moving to a new home again.

It's properly the wrong words, but the best I could find.

Do other genderfluid people feel this feeling of "unstable" too?

How do you feel about purchasing items marketed to the gender you currently are not, even though it is the correct biological sex? Does it feel odd? My example is about one item, but it could be any number of things like scents or shampoo or somewhat generic items with more "feminine" colors.

I needed to replace a trimmer shaver, mostly for an initial trim down on my hairy legs, maybe more, and looked on a shopping site. They had them marketed to men and women. The men's had a better sale and slightly higher rating. I felt like I should buy the one for women and it was purple, which made me feel better about it. The men's had man parts in the product name, and it made me feel icky buying it, but it was a little more adequate and more discounted on sale. I didn't find any female looking reviews for it. Same with the women's trimmer, though I figure that probably had a female tax on it. I felt myself longing in a sad way to have the item labeled for women, and almost just got both of them. I don't know that I'll be using the trimmer so much on my legs when feeling demimale, but I'm not sure I would mind using the one for women, even if I had to use it on my face after going too long without shaving so a regular razor would work.

Such is life as a Fluid...

As someone who is genderfluid and spends most of my time as a man, does anyone else ever set aside time to really express fem and then not feel it because their energy isn't there. I think I need some androgynous style suggestions to feel more comfortable all the time

waddup yall!

so i'm AMAB and i've always identified solidly as a cis male (despite my hatred of gender roles). i have no desire to sit on the opposite end of the gender spectrum. i love being a dude! that being said...

i've been androgynous practically from birth, my name is primarily a female name despite being masculine in its origin. i wear my hair long, i'm more than happy to stay clean shaven, and i'm not afraid to adopt "feminine" mannerisms. i always get a flicker a joy when someone thinks i'm a girl or is otherwise confused about my gender. that's what's been tripping me up. despite my love of being a guy, i feel most at home when i'm presenting as a girl (or at least non-binary, in a way); clothes, makeup, etc. i want to be bonita on the outside while being macho on the inside, you know?

so what's this called? i don't exactly feel genderless or multiple things all at once, i just don't know what i really am. i figured you guys (gender neutral) could provide some assistance. am i genderfluid? non-binary? just a femboy going through an identity crisis? free to create my own path as a creature allegedly possessing free will? please help!

I'm writing a book about a Gender-fluid character born a male and I wanted some input on how it feels like to change between genders. Other experiences would be useful.

A brief summary of the opening is that they woke up from a dream and they go to the clothes they picked out from the day before but become fairly unhappy with it spending a good amount of time standing there upset. They eventually change to something more masculine the idea is they picked out a Feminine outfit the day prior.

If this isnt good at all please let me know

Hi! I’ve been questioning for a long time on where to get fake breasts and if possible not to expensive so I’m asking! Btw, I’ve already asked and some told me "the classical method" of putting socks in a bra. And it worked well but I always wondered to wear stuff with low-cut sooo…
Sorry if it wasn’t clear, I’m not English-native speaker and I never feel rly at ease asking for that (even if it’s pretty normal yk)

hi i'm amab genderfluid and have been for about a year now but ive never met anyone else who is genderfluid. I first questioned gender in high school and started to transition to be a bit more feminine in college. I'm not sure if it's a similar experience for anyone but i get these intense bouts of anxiety that HRT isn't right for me (even tho i know it is) until i take a step back and realize i like the changes. anyone have any advice or is this just being genderfluid?

so i know im genderfluid, but i primarily identify with a non-binary gender a significant portion of the time (i dont feel like any specific non-binary gender, just that i know by they/them pronouns)

sometimes i also feel like a mix of non-binary, feminine, and masculine genders. for example, at times im mostly non-binary but a bit feminine as well, other times im mostly masculine but also partly non-binary. however a majority of the time i identify as non-binary, as well as a bit feminine and masculine

so far ive identified as a genderfruct individual but i know theres even more microlabels that exist, however i havent really found a microlabel that actually describes me, and im wondering if there is one

I've noticed that the way I feel about my own gender and how I want to be perceived changes with the seasons and the weather. In the winter I feel like a man, I want to be referred to as a man, but when the hotter seasons come there's kind of a switch and I start thinking of myself as a girl, and want to be called one. does anyone else feel this way? I've looked into this but all that came out were xenogenders that "connect heavily with" instead of being some kind of fluidity affected by the seasons

Just venting, I have therapy soon but if anyone has anything to say that would be much appreciated:

For as long as I (AMAB) can remember I have been and felt like a boy: weakly, but still a boy. Recently though, I am noticing I sometimes have (and have had) a strong feeling of wanting to be a girl: body, clothes, hair, etc, even when I "felt boyish". My thoughts pretty much have either been: "I'm fine with being a boy I guess", "I really want to be a girl", or "I'm too tired for this whole gender thing". I remember looking into HRT effects a little while back and: why did almost none of it seem bad? And now I'm wondering if I've ever even been cis in the first place...

I am Genderfluid(partially due to parts, but i am just Genderfluid), when under anything masc well generally id be considered "transmasc" by normal standards, but im NOT i do not identify with that label, i am not "transmale" i am male, you have to understand, in every aspect of the form i am AMAB(im technically not) in every sense. There is NO sense of cis-ness when i feel feminine, i am a transfem woman when i feel that way, there is NO "im just an afab "cis" woman rn" but rather "im a transfem girl rn".

Idk why I feel so badly that maybe I’m just a big phony bologna cissy who’s confused and just proving transphobes right by being a confused crazy even though when I think about it rationally, I’m absolutely without a doubt some kind of genderqueer.

I remember sometime last year (or maybe early this year idk) I had very notable dysphoria about wanting to be a cis man and I HATED my chest (there’s also been moments where I genuinely recoiled at descriptors of me being feminine) but that’s gone now and I feel more feminine.. lol.

but for some magical reason even though I’m lucky enough to feel feminine now and have Chest Mounds and not hate them, I hate that I don’t hate them.. and I hate that too because dysphoria sucks and I feel awful for the people who have that so idk why I’m kind of “wanting“ that to happen to me again.

I think I’m getting sidetracked anyways yeah how do y’all not lose your minds from this I need to know please is there a magic potion I can concoct to be normal or a wizard to cast a spell?

Last night I think my egg cracked and I realized I was genderfluid. I'm still waiting to like feel a few more gender shifts before I'm ready to say for sure but I'm at the point where I'm pretty sure it's gonna happen. Anyway I'm kinda in a panic mode right now because this is crazy and I'm really not sure what to do. So here's like a list of literally everything I've been confused or concerned about since the egg crack. Some of them are more important than others but I just wanted to get it all out. Sorry that this is gonna be a long one.

For context I'm 16, up until about 6 months ago I thought I was a cis guy then in April I started identifying as a binary trans woman. I never got to transition because my parents are bigots but I never really felt like I was anything but a girl. But I dissociated a lot and I thought it was my brain protecting me from dysphoria. Last night I realized that it actually was probably my brain trying to stop me from realizing I was fluid by dissociating whenever I felt masc or enby. I'm guessing this isn't a very common genderfluid experience but nothing about my queer experience has exactly been normal.

I feel weird about leaving behind my life as a binary trans girl. I'm almost certain I'm not one but still I spent so long feeling like I was a part of that community and learning about it and its struggles and now just leaving it feels weird. I know I'm still trans but I'm guessing that being genderfluid is a really different experience.

I also have a lot of friends I made as a trans girl. Most of my closest friends are trans girls who I met in the last few months and I'm scared to tell them I'm fluid and change things. There's also one friend who's a cis girl I knew back when I thought I was a cis guy and recently we've been bonding a lot over our girliness and gotten really close and I don't want that to change.

It also feels a little weird to accept myself fully as genderfluid when basically all the signs I had in my childhood pointed more towards me being a binary trans girl. I don't exactly know what the usual genderfluid signs are but I don't think I would have had them.

Medical transition has also become a lot more confusing for me. Before I was planning on the full standard transfem stuff (vaginoplasty, estrogen) but now I really don't know what to do. I still want estrogen because I have a pretty masc body overall so I feel like losing muscle mass and having fat redistribution would really help with dysphoria when I don't feel masc. But now there's things I don't know about. Like with my downstairs area, before I was completely fine with losing function but now I don't know for sure. And with breast growth I still want it in some ways (mostly cause I'm fine with wearing a binder when I'm masc or andro and I wouldn't be ok with never being able to wear low cut tops when I feel fem) but I'm worried that outside of going out in public they'll just be annoying in general when I feel masc when I'm just at home or trying to sleep and I'm worried I'll regret letting them grow.

Also I have no idea what I'm going to do about social transition now. When I thought I was only fem I thought I was going to be this really girly girl who really loved makeup. Even though I hadn't actually tried makeup yet because of my parents I really enjoyed learning about it and even thought that maybe I would try to be a professional makeup artist if I ended up enjoying it as much as I thought I would. But now masc me just isn't really into it. Which seems weird since fem me has such a passion for it. But it looks like now I might just have to not bother learning makeup since it seems a little less useful to be good at it if I only wear it half the time. And for clothes I have no idea what I'm gonna do, fem me loves fashion so I'll probably have lots of girl clothes but I probably won't be able to get as much as I want because now I'll have to save money for masc clothes too. And hair feels like a mess, I really don't want to be a guy with long hair when I feel masc but I also want to be able to have natural long hair when I feel fem and not wear a wig so I have no idea what I'm gonna do.

I'm also really scared of experiencing more discrimination. I knew living as a trans woman would be hard but being genderfluid, which I'm guessing isn't very well known or understood outside of the queer community, will probably be even harder. I guess I feel like I probably won't be able to have any friends who aren't queer because cishet people will think I'm weird. And I feel like dating will be really hard. And in my professional life too I feel like being genderfluid will cause me problems with work and it must just be easier to try to hide it in my professional life.

Also I just have no idea how my life is going to go now. I had a pretty good idea of the transfem experience but I really don't know what it's going to be like being genderfluid and it just scares me a little. It also sort of messes up a lot of my plans. I was planning on getting hrt soon and I'm already on a waitlist (where I live I don't need parental permission) but now I don't know if I want it and if I do try to get it, since the clinic I get it from triages based on urgency I feel like not being binary trans would sort of push me down the waitlist a lot. I was also planning on moving out as soon as I was legally able to and I still want to but I don't know for sure. When I thought I would always be fem it seemed worth it to deal with the struggles of living alone to be able to present fem but if I'm just going to be masc sometimes anyway it's hard to tell if it's worth it.

Also this is random but I have no idea what I'm gonna do about my name. I've been going by Iris with people I'm out too for the last few months and I still like it as a fem/enby name but I think I would feel weird introducing myself as Iris when I'm presenting masc.

Okay, I think that's everything. Sorry for being so long-winded but I really needed to get all this out. Thanks in advance for any advice!

Hey. Uhhh. I'm not the guy who wrote the other posts here from this account. Or at least I don't feel like him right now. Them? Idk

It feels so weird and stupid to happen so suddenly, but I think my mind is more plural than I expected.. 🫣

I'm unsure what's going on because it happened so fast, but yesterday I got mad at my boyfriend over some stupid shit (as I've done a bunch of times) and shifted from being feminine to masculine. I'm afab, so I have a feminine chest. And when the boyfriend went to hug me, the masculine part that was I guess mostly occuping my feels really didn't like his hands being close to the chest. (Even though the bf wasn't acknowledging them as a different part than just a torso)

And then it switched again. So fast. I felt like I've been making shit up and it still feels that way, but. I'm a girl. And now I have bottom dysphoria because of this body. (Which is another layer of weird, because it's a pre-t afab body, so I should be content with it. But it doesn't feel like me) And it feels like I should be taller. Like it isn't me. I'm not seeing myself in the mirror. And like I'm not dating my boyfriend. Our boyfriend? No idea what to say. Saying "my" doesn't feel right because he's not my boyfriend. What the hell...????

I don't like the shirt I have on, but I know I, or rather the one who put it on themself, liked it two days ago (yes, I'm in the same shirt still. Oops)

I've known I'm genderfluid as a person. But???? I don't feel like it right now???? Which is like, yeah, it happens, but. I feel like a girl. Like really really

Being genderfluid has been one thing, and I knew with shifts I act a little different between genders. But this is on another level.

The boyfriend says my way of speaking changed too and I act different. I'm open about it with him, so don't worry. And at least he likes this me too. But uhhhhh am I being a bit insane right now or is plurality really possible, despite the fact I haven't had something like this specifically happen before in my life?

I guess it could explain why sometimes I feel taller and sometimes shorter. But. Huhhhh. Help?

Edit: Sorry for the long and messy post. I'm just so confused.

To clear things up a bit. Usually I (or I guess the one who feels more in line with the body) uses he/they pronouns. Like, even when presenting feminine. Last prominent gender switch was to a more fem then usual. Was thinking abt fem pronouns, but they felt illegal.

I'm just she/her. (And I feel bottom dysphoria, although the usual guy doesn't want surgery there at all. Just T. I feel like the feminine counterpart of that. A trans girl (saying that feels weird, being in a trans guys body...))

Besides the almost-breakup time, the feelings toward the boyfriend didn't change with genders. Together for a year.

Now this relationship feels new, exciting. Like a crush on him while we're newfound best friends.

And yesterday, soon after the switch to a girl (current feeling) I felt the guy part of me talking to me, but not through me. And another person's presence there too, in my head, which makes me feel insane, because that hasn't happened before. I mean, I guess I had some sort of imaginary friend at 13yrs old, that I have been confused about if I can really control him 100% or no, and there's been times where I've felt two or three different viewpoints in my head arguing about how to react to stuff... But for me to feel like not me in that way... that's new.

I wanted to listen to you guys' advice and explore my different parts more, so I am taking notes on my current self who's writing this, but. On one hand it feels real and on the other it feels like I'm making stuff up, even though I would need to convince myself for that as well. Since I feel real right now.

Will try to approach all of myself with even more freedom in expression and notice my feelings. Maybe I've been repressing that this whole time.

The thing I'm most scared about is if I'm just being stupid and delusional right now. I hope that maybe in that instance my boyfriend will agree to forget about it and won't find it embarrasing... lol

Sometimes I wake up and I have such horrible dysphoria I cannot stand to exist in my female body any longer. I view myself as a man in my head, my internal monologue has a male voice, I believe I was supposed to be born male, I want to go on testosterone and get surgeries, I want to live my life as a binary transsexual man, etc. And then a few hours pass and the thought of being a man makes me highly uncomfortable, and I feel like a woman again, and I'm completely content with my biology. Other times there's a mix of both genders, or even none. There's no winning, I can't change my body to fit my gender identity because my gender identity is fluid. I wish I was a trans man or woman so I could just transition then get on with my life, but no. Every day is a battle.

Hi,

I'm Genderfluid, Gay and also maybe pansexual (19). My problem is that my "BF" (i'm not really sure if he still loves me) had a problem i couldn't figure out bc he kept always saying that he needs a break from "our relationship" but still reminds me if we could come back together.

My Problem here by is that it was the 2nd time with him and it always went like this:

Love message -> wishes to cuddle -> planning to come over (bc he lives in a different Federal State than me) -> crying -> too much stress -> blocking me.

So i feel always like i don't deserve him but then he tolds me that he isn't really sure if he's made for a relationship and then let me alone :(

Guh I’ve been questioning my gender identity for so long, because I’m cis, so most days I’m content as a woman but I’ll go through phases where I feel so incredibly masc to the point where the fact I can’t shapeshift into a guy for a day and go back to being a woman drives me crazy. At the same time I’m perfectly content in using she/her pronouns and I don’t know I’m just so confused and lost and I have this ache in my chest I can’t describe whenever I think about this and AUUUUGH. and I’ve never felt ”the ache” this strong before like it’s killing me. I’m sure it will pass it kinda usually does but I don’t know

Hi, first of all I'm not a native speaker of english, so if i have any grammatical mistake please understand that.

Well... i don't know how to start this, so I'll go directly.

This is happening to me every night since a couple weeks, every night i can't sleep because of keep thinking of it. I used to be very sure of being a femboy, i have always liked how i look like that. But i have always had the thought of "what if I'm not really a femboy? What if I'm trans for example?". This is because i really like being called like a girl sometimes. However, there are some days that i don't really feel like i fit in any gender, like a non-binary person. Also there are days that i feel good being a boy.

I feel really confused and i don't know what i am. Am i genderfluid or anything else? I don't kwon if with this text you can understand how I'm feeling, but i want an opinion please.

That's it. I hate it. My body almost never feels right. I don't feel right

Recently I've been feeling so discouraged over my identity and since I don't have anybody to discuss this with in real life I decided to make a burner account to just get some things out.

I've tried to write an explanation almost a million times now so I'm just going to keep it short and simple so I can get my main point across.

I've been feeling really dysphoric over my chest and how I look and its gotten so bad that I finally gave in and bought some binding tape for my chest. I want to look like a boy but in a soft feminine androgynous way. I'm really tired of being a woman and in this moment I feel like I hate myself because of it. I wish sex wasn't a thing and I could just be this person that existed as they are instead of in a society where everything is so binary and restrictive.

I wish I could go by they/them and freely swap between whatever I feel like being that day, dressing however I want and that everyone would just understand and accept it. I feel so trapped right now because I don't know anyone who gets it. I have a girlfriend but I just don't feel like she'll understand at all and its hard to have conversations like this with her because it feels like she doesn’t have anything to add besides agreeing or saying the obvious. And I feel like I'd be letting her down or upsetting her because I'm supposed to be a lesbian like her.

I live in the bible belt and most of my family is accepting of me being lesbian, which in this moment I feel like that label doesn’t even fit me anymore, but they only accept the 'normal' gay stuff. My immediate family are religious and actively dislike trans people and even go as far as to misgender them because they think its stupid and its some sort of disease. I don't think there's ever a future where I can actually tell anyone I know in real life about this so I just needed to get it out somewhere.

I don't even know what I am or what I want anymore and I envy those who were born exactly as they wanted to be.

I would say that before I began taking testosterone, my gender felt relatively like one slightly fluid cohesive mass. Generally towards the middle of the man-woman spectrum but in a neutral, untethered sort of way. I kind of stopped dressing fem entirely and began dressing in what I felt was a "neutral" or "mixed" sort of way. And as I noticed my preferences shifting more masculine, I accepted myself as transmasculine and decided to start taking T.

But when I started taking T, it kind of felt like my identity started to fragment? I think I've always felt my sense of self feel less confident, happy, and anxious during times I felt more feminine and more confident, happy, and forward-facing when feeling more masculine. But this dichotomy seems to have gotten stronger the further I went into my masculinizing journey, and it's not like I can just push myself into being more masc when I feel more fem or vice versa (it in fact feels distressing to internally do so now).

When I feel myself drifting in a more masculine direction, the feminine part of my gender gets extremely anxious. Almost like I'd be fully "losing who I am" if I drift too far masculine. My brain also wants to latch onto a more feminine set of pronouns and identifiers. However, when I feel myself more feminine, it's like I feel grumpy and depressed for not being more masculine, and I also begin to envy masculinity a lot more. It feels like I'm hiding behind a shell of myself just for my safety. My brain seems to reach toward a more masculine set of pronouns and identifiers then as well.

After a lot of thought, I don't think either side is more true than the other, and I probably have always landed somewhere in the genderfluid/bigender space. I moreover want to ask how I can feel less "distressed" when my gender shifts more feminine, while also being able to embody my masculinity in a healthy way that still feels tethered to "me". I think I probably mistook my gravitation towards masculinity (the more "novel" part of myself) for what my "true" self is, when in reality it embodies a mix of masculine and feminine traits. I also do think I have a bit of trauma surrounding my femininity - while I'm thankful to have not been a victim of SA or a related incident, I think I also have linked my pre-egg crack self as someone with low self-esteem, a people pleaser, and "never enough", and I'm afraid that's inadvertently extended itself to anything feminine really.

I also have AuDHD and OCD (currently getting therapy and meds), and also am seeing a gender therapist who, as far as I'm concerned, does see me as trans. I don't think I've ever felt really feminine when talking to my therapists either, though they do know about how I see my identity.

So, uh, I'm not entirely sure this is the place to post this but I need advice or maybe someone to help me figure this out. For context, I am a nineteen year old trans man, and i came out as transgender at 10 years old. Sorry in advance for any spelling or grammar errors. So here's what I've been experiencing:

recently, I realized I'm content with being a girl, like its okay for me, but not all the time, most the time I still wanna be a boy, but I don't mind feminine terminology used on me. Some days I feel like a girl, I wanna put my makeup on and dress cunty and feel pretty, but the rest of the time I feel masculine and want to be a boy and be called a boy and I don't want any fem terms used on me so I think I might be genderfluid, I still wanna go by isaac and I still mostly wanna use masculine terms for myself so I think I'm transmasc and genderfluid

And its causing me a great deal of stress being unsure about my identity after finally getting everyone in my life to call me a boy, and like I still wanna go by my masculine preferred name and i still mostly want to be referred to masculinly.