r/etiquette • u/ThirtyfiveNsurviving • 12d ago
Bedroom Door Ettiquettes
What is the etiquette for bedroom door when one is not in their room?
I don’t care about my bedroom door when I am alone, but when I have house guests such as my family or my partner’s or when I am staying at someone’s house, I keep the door to the bedroom closed at all times.
I have noticed, however, that others always keep their doors open when the room is not in use and sometimes even when it’s in use during the day time.
It brought me to think that maybe what I am doing is coming across as ill mannered or hostile.
What is the general consensus on etiquette around that?
What should I be doing as a host? And what should I be doing as a house guest?
Thank you!
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u/EighthGreen 12d ago
It would never occur to me to think of it as hostile to close your bedroom door.
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u/Responsible-Fly9976 12d ago
When I'm a guest in someone else's home, if I'm NOT in the room, I try to keep it tidy and keep the door open. For one thing, if they have something in the room they want to retrieve, I don't want them to feel hesitant to walk into a room that is still really their space. This way they can walk in and grab a spare (whatever) from a closet, desk, dresser etc.
I think it's also nice for your hosts to know you're caring for their space.
When I have guests in my home, I sometimes make it a point to leave my door open if I'm IN the room (but not doing something private) so that they're aware that I'm available to them. This has the converse benefit of kind of making it clear that if the door is closed, I might be napping, on the phone, not up yet, or doing something I want private.
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u/Corner_Office_ 12d ago
I keep it closed because I don’t want dogs or kids going in there.
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u/Elohims-sixth-wife 12d ago edited 11d ago
That’s how I operate too. I grew up in a house of pets so if you didn’t want the dogs or cats in your room, you should’ve left the door closed.
On principle, we left the bathroom doors closed as well (because of the trash), but I realize that my family was pretty atypical for that. Most households leave the bathroom doors open to signal that it’s not occupied.
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u/Fun-Yellow-6576 12d ago
You’re over thinking this. No one is giving any thought about your bedroom door.
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u/detentionbarn 12d ago
Just preference. Not hostile at all and I doubt guests notice or would infer intent.
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u/detentionbarn 12d ago
Adding...if you have an actual reason to close the door, it is certainly not rude. Like an anxious pet, wet paint, unkempt/messy, sex dungeon...
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u/No-Adhesiveness-6921 12d ago
TBH - I’d probably want a tour of a sex dungeon 😳😳
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u/megapaxer 12d ago
I don't think it's really an etiquette question, just different ways people have of doing things in their own homes.
As a host you can do whatever you want. If you have overly curious guests, you'd want to close your bedroom door, but if you don't care, leave it open if you like.
As a guest, I generally feel it's courteous to keep my assigned bedroom tidy and leave the door open if the other bedroom doors are open. If they're closed I suppose I'd shut it.
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u/ThirtyfiveNsurviving 12d ago
Thank you for your comment specifically the last paragraph. I will be cognizant of that!
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u/ReeMayRe 12d ago
Your bedroom is private; keeping it closed (empty or occupied) is not rude to guests. Neither is keepng it open. It does not matter...
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u/RevolutionaryDebt200 12d ago
Open doors = welcome, do come in; Closed doors = private, stay out. It's not about being anything. It IS all about giving signals to your guests so THEY know which rooms are off limits
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u/Lucky-Berry-4252 11d ago
You are really overthinking this. It’s simply personal preference. I too close and lock bedroom doors when I have guests.
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u/Outstanding_Neon 12d ago
Not every decision we make in life is either correct or incorrect. Not every action is either rude or polite.
Keep your door closed if you like. Don't worry that other people leave theirs open.
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u/BlkBear1 12d ago
OP, if I'm a guest in someone's home, when I'm not "using" the room, I keep the door open, unless there are children or pets in the home, or I have equipment in the room I don't want being messed with.
If I'm the host, I keep my bedroom or office doors closed, and I stay out of the guest's room, unless restocking towels or TP/Tissues, which go on the bed.
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u/laurajosan 11d ago
I live alone, so I keep mine open all the time unless I’m sleeping and then I close and lock it because it makes me feel safer. When I have company, I close it at night, but keep it open throughout the day.
When I’m visiting someone else I keep it open unless I’m sleeping or changing clothes. Honestly, I never thought about it.
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u/Fit_Detective_4920 11d ago
The only rules are that:
- If it's not your space and/or the door is closed, stay out.
- If you don't want guests entering, close the door.
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u/happy_life1 10d ago
When I am in someone else's home whether their bedroom door is open or closed does not matter to me. I don't think your guests or family are having serious concerns about your preferences. I have done both, I typically close the door if workers in the house and sometimes leave open and sometimes closed with guests. I like to sleep with it closed always as if someone goes in the kitchen for a late night snack the light travels down the hallway and wakes me.
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u/MsMischief2 8d ago
For me- it depends on the hosts home situation. If there are young kids/pets & they may get into stuff in that room- door closed. If it’s an office or tv room or something most of the time, I leave the door open. If I’m unsure I try to keep it tidy & the door slightly open. Not sure if this helps but that’s me.
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u/uhohohnohelp 12d ago
If my room is clean, I’ll keep it open. If it’s a mess, I close the door. Also though, even if it’s clean, if I’m hiding in there throughout the day to smoke weed because my in-laws are visiting and making me crazy, I close the door.
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u/wharleeprof 12d ago
I think door open when vacant is a good default practice. That way if someone is looking for you or wanting to enter the room for some reason, they aren't knocking on the door to an empty room. Otoh, there can be a practical reason to close the door, like keeping kids or pets out.
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u/ThirtyfiveNsurviving 12d ago
I didn’t think about that from this context! Great point regarding people knocking in on an empty room!
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u/Rabbit-Familiar 12d ago
I think it's usually polite to keep it closed as it's a private space. Some people might not care too much but I was def taught that other people's bedrooms were not to be peeked at or entered without explicit permission (even if I needed a loo!)
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u/Ok_Mulberry4331 12d ago edited 12d ago
I don’t know what the etiquette is, but all our bedroom rooms are open during the day (unless you’re in there napping or something). Company or not, I like the airflow.
For guests though, unless staying over, no reason to every go upstairs
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u/megapaxer 12d ago
I’m big on airflow and light. Our bedrooms also have always been open unless someone wants privacy or is sleeping.
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u/felinelawspecialist 12d ago
Preferably my room is tidy, bed is made, and I keep the door open. I don't have a huge house, so keeping doors open makes everything seem bigger and breezier.
however, sometimes, I have to put my dogs up during parties. So if that happens, then the door stays closed.
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u/Own-Counter-7187 12d ago
closed doors in the hallway are the #1 cause for mishap and mayhem on TV. "Just looking for the bathroom..."
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u/Treehousehunter 12d ago
I keep my door closed when visiting people with pets. The last thing I need is Fido running through the living room with my panties between his teeth or some territorial cat peeing on my suitcase.
At home, I leave my door open after I’m up, showered and I’ve made the bed.
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u/FrabjousD 12d ago
I try to make the bed and keep the room tidy if I’m a guest in someone’s home, but I prefer to keep the door shut. That’s not necessarily the right thing to do. People sometimes have specific heating or a/c reasons to keep the door either open or closed. Drives me batty! I’ve learned to ask if I think it will be an issue. (It’s almost always an issue with very frugal people.)
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u/FishingEquivalent845 9d ago
At home we have large pocket doors that are almost always open.
So I’m an open door person. The only door that stays closed is my FIL’s because he smoke refer and then the bathroom when occupied.
Shit, our exterior doors are rarely closed. We are currently at the park and I’m pretty sure my front
And back door are open and my shop
Door is likely unlocked. But I also have a dog and screen doors that you probably would cross through.
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u/No_Sorbet_5102 8d ago
I don’t think about open or closing doors. My basic understanding is that if a door in a house is closed, I will knock before entering.
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u/Aromatic-Prune-8484 12d ago
I asked a friend who was staying with me (in my large master BR, to keep the door closed as I had just had surgery and didn’t want to wake her when I had to use the smaller bathroom at night. She wouldn’t keep the door closed and every time I got up to go to the bathroom, she jumped out of bed and came in after me. I asked her to leave the next day. I was using a Rollator for the first time. I was still trying to navigate my way around. I made lots of noise. Mostly crashing into a baseboard or two. I was uncomfortable living in my own home. I’m not sure why she couldn’t just keep the door closed.
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u/Electric-Sheepskin 12d ago
It's just a matter of preference.