Fan Creations
Dream Casting a Terrible 1990s Battletech Live Action Movie
So, obviously, a *good* live action movie is basically impossible, but the best possible actor we could've had for Takashi Kurita passed away, and I think even a series a la Game of Thrones would be lesser without him.
What brought this to mind is that I'm reading through the novels again. I just finished Wolves on the Border and am now reading Heir to the Dragon. And there's exactly one person whose face comes to mind whenever Takashi is present in a scene.
Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa
So, that got me wondering. Who else would've been perfect casting for an awesomely terrible/terribly awesome '90s Battletech movie?
Oh, James Hong is a goddamn American treasure. Absolute legend. Maximillian Liao is a ridiculous caricature, that's what would make it hilarious. Straight up Big Trouble in Little Sian.
So, the problem I always had with this is that Jaime Wolf is specifically referred to as being on the small side, so I always end up picturing him as a mix between Die Hard/Robin Hood era Alan Rickman and Richard Hammond.
And that was all in the intro sequence - especially if it was made today by Netflix - just to draw you in and think the rest of the movie will be the same 🤣
I can see that. I really like Ernie Hudson's performances. I was going to say no because he seems too nice (in Ghostbusters and The Crow especially - which are the first things that come to my mind when I think of Ernie), but he's a good actor and Leo Showers was a fairly decent and smart Smoke Jaguar - so yeah, it would likely work.
Hudson has charisma by the truckload, and he plays quite the compelling villain in The Substitute. (less so in shark Attack)
Overall though, yeah I prefer Hudson as a hero (Like in Ghostbusters or Congo)
Charlie Day as Devlin Stone. It's a Ciaphus Cain style comedy about him stumbling ass backwards into founding the RotS and bullshitting his way through everything while the people around him are convinced he's a genius.
Amaris is very distinctly asian in appearance. Which makes it a little tricky to cast Michael Ironsides as him. Be like Casting Raul Julia as Takeshi Kurita. Yes, he could pull off the attitude, but...
John Wayne, however, has a history with yellowface, so casting him as an Asian conqueror at least has some precedent.
That hasnt stopped Sean Connery being casted as someone Spaniard....ot Ben Kingsley as an Indian...Were after 90s big ticket casting, for rule of cool... were not around to go win any PC values. Ironside wouldnt be any issue if he can ham it as Amaris.
Technically Connery was cast as an Egyptian masquerading as a Spaniard, not that that makes it any better. But that was in the '80s.
Most black/brown/yellow face casting was considered gauche by the time the '90s rolled around. Michael Ironsides squinting at the camera and hamming it up would be condemned.
Besides, Chow Yun Fat's right there, give him a chance to eat his share of scenery. lol
It was happening well into the 2000s. Firefly had everyone speaking at least pidgin Mandarin but the closest we got to Asian main characters were Simon and River Tam--straight black hair, dark eyes, Korean last name, and a background that characterized them as 'other' to the rest of the (ex-Confederate analogue) Western cast.
That wasn't yellow face. It was established by the universe that the mission that colonized the star system they were in was equal parts American and Chinese, so the entire language and culture of those colonists evolved to be a mixture of the two, hence the pidgin and mixed race names. No one was pretending to be a different race than they were.
I'm not going to argue Joss Whedon's intent (but I'm not inclined to be charitable to him), nor the specific definition of yellowface. I'm simply stating that the only major characters who could even be vaguely construed as Asian were played by White actors. In all honesty (I say this as an Asian-American), I'd have preferred yellowface. At least then the half-Chinese cultural conceit might've been more than set dressing.
There wasn't any such thing in Starship Troopers. At worst Rico and his friends were white people living in Rio, but they never pretended to be Latino.
Rico was at least of Filipino heritage in the book, but gave away so little of that in the narration that it's easy to miss.
And yeah, there's lots of white people in South America, whether they "act" Latino or not, especially in Argentina, which has more white people than the state of New York does, so it's actually pretty plausible for an Argentinian man to look like Casper Van Dien (whether he'd be speaking American English is another matter)
It was specifically kept as a surprise for the end of the book, his race was left intentionally ambiguous (or the clues were ridiculously subtle) to prevent people drawing assumptions about him until like the last page of the book when he bumps into his father who he'd thought had died and they greet each other in Tagalong.
Although this is a thread about a 90s "good" sci-fi movie that didn't get made, so I suppose mentioning one that shouldn't have been made is on theme 🤣
(I got some enjoyment from Highlander 2... and 3, but they make the original look Oscar-worthy by comparison 🤣🤣🤣)
I don't know, the series was decent and I'm hoping the Henry Cavill reboot will be decent.
I was thinking the reboot maybe wouldn't have weird accent paradoxes like the original (like a Swiss guy playing a Scot, a Scot playing an Egyptian, and an American guy playing a Russian, with only Clancy really attempting the accent), but I haven't heard Cavill's Scottish accent yet, and he's a Jersey boy, so we may have the makings of a quirky cult hit again more than a blockbuster 😆
This time though, yeah, there can be only one... except if it makes good bank, then we'll get at least 7 sequels, lol. It still amazes me how many sequels The Fast and The Furious got 🤣
I liked the series too. Hell, I even liked The Raven. But the movies, man... the original was lightning in a bottle, joke very much intended. I'm cautiously optimistic for Henry's reboot, but the original movie should have been an one-and-done, aside from the TV shows.
Yeah totally. Highlander 3 was probably as awful as Highlander 2, but I found it had some charm. Highlander 2s problem is that the changes to the lore and the futuristic setting just soured the original cult classic for most people.
I’d love to have seen Michael Clark-Duncan as Osis. I actually really enjoyed his portrayal of Kingpin and it would be nice to see him get a true “villain” role.
I was really sad when I heard MC-D had died, because there's not many tall and muscly actors in Hollywood who can actually act - apart from Dave Bautista and John Cena, off the top of my head - and so many superheroes are really built, and there's not many actors to properly play them.
At least the only really notable elemental that might need playing in a Battletech movie is Lincoln Osis. For random elementals as extras they could just use CGI or bring in some roided gym-bros who can't act 😆
Scott Steiner. Big Poppa Pump as an Elemental would be amazing. I know he hadn't cut this promo yet in the nineties, but throw in a scene where he calculates their odds of victory at Tukayyid.
If I was going to direct a battletech live action film, it would be set in the civil war era starring Daniel Craig as kerensky and Ben Kingsley as amaris
Oooo good call. Although the twist permanently poisoned it for me, Kingsley’s role as Mandarin (the videography part not the “I’m just an actor” part) was phenomenal. He could be a terrifying Amaris but also has the ability to act the sniveling weasel part.
Watch the movies Operation Finale and Sexy Beast - Ben Kingsley is one of the world's greatest actors and it's incredible how intimidating and terrifying he can be onscreen (like he is in those two movies) when he's so short, frail and elderly.
Then watch him in Gandhi for the contrast 😁
And like you say he can portray the exact opposite of terrifying just as well.
So, what you are missing is at least one 80’s pop singer whose popularity is waning to play a role so you can save cash on the soundtrack, such as Cher, Sting, Flea or Meat Loaf.
Alternatively, if you want this film to age especially poorly, there was a guy who used to call himself Puff Daddy in the 90’s. Which while certainly problematic, will make watching the film as hilarious as watching Godzilla (1998) is in a post Baby-oil, post 9/11 year. (Bonus points, BTW, if the film is a Last Starfighter or the 90’s Final Fantasy movie type of Isekai where a bunch of teenagers who like the tabletop game get transported from New York to Kentares. This decision is entirely an excuse to have a gratuitous wide shot that includes the World Trade Center. I’d give it double points if Nicolai or some other asshole trashes the WTC in the climax of the movie where the BTU leaks back to 90’s earth.)
I got one better: at some point they do a scene of ComStar personnel having a meeting on Terra, like in Lethal Heritage, except they deem Hilton Head too boring of a location so they just up and decide to move ComStar HQ to NYC. The meeting is now being held IN the World Trade Center.
Because remember, part of what made 80s-90s adaptations so ass was how they just changed important lore for little to no reason, lol.
That’s actually beautiful, the idea of the World Trade Center being untouched until 3050 alone is gold. It still getting trashed in the film is platinum.
(Also, I’d totally believe that Word of Blake, now led by a suave, long haired Kurt Russel, is, in the AU where this movie got made, a product of film executives not thinking the clans are marketable enough villains and making their own edgy punks wearing the tightest black PVC plastic they can find. Hence them showing up a minimum of 30 years earlier than they do in OTL.)
Thanks, that means a lot considering I wasn’t there for it.
Also, I’m calling it now, this movie will retcon neurohelmets out of the lore completely or replace them with “Neuo-Tiaras” because if 90’s Hollywood execs can’t stand one thing, it’s obstructed faces, such as Stallone’s Judge Dredd movie.
Anyways they are just wrapping up the book and as part of their wrap up under the remembrance they do a hiring call casting call thing as to whom would play who in a live action film
If we go back far enough, it has to be Nic Cage as Nicholas Kerensky, just to capture his unhinged nature (needs to be aged up for the image on Sarna). He'd totally sell that role, regardless of appearance. He's also perfect casting for a "good" franchise movie, because Nic and his agent don't seem too concerned by script quality, and a Battletech film couldn't be any worse than the movie Jiu Jitsu 🤣
Going by the image on Sarna, and his intelligent and stoic nature, I think Nic's much saner father, Aleksandr Kerensky, should be played by Mark Strong.
While I'm casting Kerenskys, and again going by the image on Sarna and his demeanour, I'm thinking Mark Hamill for Ulric Kerensky.
This reminds me of a straight-up head Canon anecdote: One of my earliest experiences with Battletech lore was the Blood of Kerensky Trilogy by Mike Stackpole, and I swear I pictured a black guy as Anastasius Focht, and even gave him James Earl Jones' face with an eyepatch. Lo and behold did I only later read about him being a Steiner which ruined the picture I had in my head.
Nicolas Cage as Nicolas Kerensky, because playing a psychopathic furry with PTSD, a god complex, daddy issues, eugenics boner, and a fetish for Mongolian culture would be the perfect challenging role for him.
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u/TheStrykerRat Apr 30 '26
Jean Claude Van Damme at full cocaine energy as Nikolai Malthus.