r/baseball • u/BaseballBot Umpire • Jul 17 '26
Feature OFFICIAL FRIDAY TRASH TALK THREAD
# RULES:
CAPS LOCK
MAKE JOKES ABOUT OTHER TEAMS
LAUGH AT JOKES ABOUT YOUR TEAM
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u/Brix001 San Francisco Giants Jul 17 '26
THE SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS
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u/rockysauce115 San Francisco Giants • San F… Jul 17 '26
MORE LIKE THE SAN FRANCISCO NOT-SO-GIANTS AMIRITE?????????
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u/BarkingSpiders19 Toronto Blue Jays Jul 17 '26
HEY LOGAN WEBB 👋 COME TO TORONTO WE’LL TAKE CARE OF YA
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u/Astropolitika Los Angeles Dodgers • Chicago White Sox Jul 17 '26
HEY, YOU’RE MAKING THE FRONT PAGE OF R/BASEBALL EVERY DAY!
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u/ProtoMan3 Seattle Mariners • Detroit Tigers Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26
THE “BABY” IN BYE BYE BABY IS ACTUALLY GIANTS FANS’ HOPES AND DREAMS
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u/SnooCauliflowers9981 Milwaukee Brewers Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26
SO, I HAVE TICKETS FOR MY TEAM'S GAME TONIGHT. WE'RE PLAYING SOME TEAM FROM MIAMI? THE MARLINS, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT....ANYONE HEARD OF THEM?
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u/Johnnumber51 Seattle Mariners Jul 17 '26
WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU. YOU HAVE TO SPEAK UP.
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u/PutStreet Washington Nationals Jul 17 '26
BOTH OF THE MARLINS FANS ARE GOING TO BE SO OFFENDED BY THIS JOLE.
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u/miclugo Philadelphia Phillies Jul 17 '26
I THINK YOU MEAN THE DOLPHINS?
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u/packfanmoore Milwaukee Brewers Jul 17 '26
THE DOLPHINS SHOULD NOY BE CONSIDERED A PROFESSIONAL TEAM THIS YEAR.
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u/EffectiveCycle Cincinnati Reds Jul 17 '26
THAT’S THE MIAMI PACKERS WITH HOW MANY PLAYERS AND COACHES THEY TOOK FROM GREEN BAY THIS OFFSEASON
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u/Snowed_Up6512 Milwaukee Brewers • Milwaukee Milkmen Jul 17 '26
PLEASE BE SAFE WITH THE SHITTY AIR, SNOO
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u/ProfessionLevel5992 Jul 17 '26
GOOD LUCK BREATHING
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u/SnooCauliflowers9981 Milwaukee Brewers Jul 17 '26
I'M AN SSH/STH ON CLUB, SO I CAN ALWAYS WATCH FROM THE BAR IN THE CONCOURSE.
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u/UsErNaMeS_aR_DuMb Major League Baseball Jul 17 '26
HOW PATHETIC MUST IT FEEL TO BE SO BAD THAT TEAMS LIKE US STILL HAVE A CHANCE?!!
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u/Snowed_Up6512 Milwaukee Brewers • Milwaukee Milkmen Jul 17 '26
I HATE THE AL BEING SO MID COMPARED TO THE NL BEING A BLOODBATH
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Jul 17 '26
[deleted]
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u/packfanmoore Milwaukee Brewers Jul 17 '26
WE NEED IT, EVERYONE IS DYING ON OUR TEAM
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u/SnooCauliflowers9981 Milwaukee Brewers Jul 17 '26
WELL, WHEN YOU HAVE TO PLAY A BUNCH OF MAKE UP GAMES, BECAUSE CERTAIN TEAMS DON'T HAVE A ROOF.....
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u/SurpriseStandard3258 Pittsburgh Pirates Jul 17 '26
MY TEAM HAS TO PLAY SOMEWHERE WITH BAD AIR QUALITY TO START THE 2ND HALF. I'D BLAME THE SMOKE, BUT IT'S JUST CLEVELAND
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u/JenamalChups Cleveland Guardians • Akron RubberDucks Jul 17 '26
HEY IT'S NOT THE RIVER THIS TIME IT'S CANADA, WE SWEAR!
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u/Alternative_Law9275 Jul 17 '26
THE MLB IS MORE ENJOYABLE WHEN THE METS ARE AWFUL.
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u/BaldPeagle Texas Rangers Jul 17 '26
WHEN AREN'T THEY?
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u/CalebosO4 Toronto Blue Jays Jul 17 '26
2015, BUT THEY MADE UP FOR IT IN GAMES 1, 4, 5 OF THE WORLD SERIES
ALSO 2024, BUT IT HELPED SET UP THIS EVEN MORE AWFUL VERSION SO IT WAS WORTH IT.
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u/waveraceforn64 Chicago White Sox Jul 17 '26
BLUE JAYS STARTED THE WILDFIRE SMOKE
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u/ricky_burns Toronto Blue Jays Jul 17 '26
START SPREADING THE NEWS, IT’S ACTUALLY THE BLUE JAYS THAT ARE ON FIRE COMING OUT OF THE BREAK!
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u/SnooCauliflowers9981 Milwaukee Brewers Jul 17 '26
AND MINNESOTA JOINED IN ON THE ACTION.
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u/Val_Killsmore Mexico • Minnesota Twins Jul 17 '26
IT'S NOT OUR FAULT CANADA CAN'T KEEP THE FIRES ON THEIR SIDE OF THE BORDER
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u/CalebosO4 Toronto Blue Jays Jul 17 '26
IT WAS THE CALGARY FLAMES
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u/waveraceforn64 Chicago White Sox Jul 17 '26
AND THE OILERS AND THEIR FOSSIL FUELS
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u/ProtoMan3 Seattle Mariners • Detroit Tigers Jul 17 '26
AND THE VANCOUVER CANUCKS AND THEIR RIOTING FANS SETTING THINGS ON FIRE
(I AM A CANUCKS FAN BUT THEY HURT ME SO)
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u/Snoo14022 Chicago Cubs Jul 17 '26
NOT VERY NEIGHBORLY OF THEM
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u/waveraceforn64 Chicago White Sox Jul 17 '26
THE CITY OF CHICAGO DEMANDS RECOMPENSE
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u/Snoo14022 Chicago Cubs Jul 17 '26
I AM SEEING THE CHICAGO CUBS PLAY THE MINNESOTA TWINS TONIGHT DURING A RARE WRIGLEY WEEKEND EVENING GAME AND I WILL SEND MY EMPHYSEMA BILL TO THE BLUE JAYS ORGANIZATION
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u/waveraceforn64 Chicago White Sox Jul 17 '26
YOU GUYS HAVE TO BEAT THEM THEYRE IN CAHOOTS
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u/Snoo14022 Chicago Cubs Jul 17 '26
WE WILL TRY, KNOWING CUBS WE WILL EITHER WIN BY 9, 1 OR LOSE BY 17
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u/chairmanwow888 Chicago Cubs Jul 17 '26
THAT ACTUALLY SEEMS KIND OF SENSIBLE WITH THEIR HEALTHCARE SYSTEM
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u/electricalserge Los Angeles Dodgers Jul 17 '26
SNAKE BITES HURT.
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u/gladvillain Fukuoka SoftBank Hawks • Los Angel… Jul 17 '26
I’VE BEEN STEWING ON THOSE RIDICULOUS GAMES ALL WEEK AND NEED TO BE CLEANSED
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Jul 17 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Fly_Boy_1999 Chicago White Sox Jul 17 '26
I CALL THAT AN IMPROVEMENT, CONSIDERING THE LAST THREE YEARS
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u/Ollie_ollie_drummer Philadelphia Phillies • Los Angeles Qu… Jul 17 '26
SUPER BOLD OF MLB TO RELEASE SCHEDULES FOR NEXT YEAR GIVEN THE POTENTIAL LABOR STOPPAGE NEXT YEAR.
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u/manticore16 New York Yankees Jul 17 '26
IMAGINE HAVING PLAYERS GETTING RBIS IN THE 2026 ALL-STAR GAME.
I SAID PLAYERS PLURAL, SORRY WHITE SOX PALS BUT YOU'RE STILL COOL.
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u/CalebosO4 Toronto Blue Jays Jul 17 '26
YOU ALSO MADE PLAYERS PLURAL SO YOU DON’T QUALIFY EITHER BECAUSE YOU ONLY HAVE 1
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u/Bartman326 New York Yankees Jul 17 '26
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u/CalebosO4 Toronto Blue Jays Jul 17 '26
BELLINGER HAD 2 RBIS BUT RICE ONLY HAD 1. SO THE YANKEES DID NOT HAVE MULTIPLE PLAYERS WITH MULTIPLE RBIS
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u/manticore16 New York Yankees Jul 17 '26
I SAID MULTIPLE PLAYERS WITH RBIS (QUALITATIVE). NOT MULTIPLE PLAYERS WITH MULTIPLE RBIS (QUANTITATIVE).
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u/TwistedNipplez Seattle Mariners Jul 17 '26
THE AL WEST
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u/xartan123 Toronto Blue Jays Jul 17 '26
THE AL
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u/TwistedNipplez Seattle Mariners Jul 17 '26
LOOKED PRETTY GOOD AGAINST THOSE BUMS IN THE NL ON TUESDAY
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u/flyingj138 Detroit Tigers • Dayton Dragons Jul 17 '26
ALMOST MADE ME FORGET THAT THE AL HAS CHECKS NOTES ONLY 5 TEAMS ABOVE .500
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u/BaldPeagle Texas Rangers Jul 17 '26
MORE LIKE THE AL WORST AMIRITE
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u/TwistedNipplez Seattle Mariners Jul 17 '26
WE FUCKING SUCK! ESPECIALLY THE ANGELS!
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u/Mobile-Green6476 Boston Red Sox Jul 17 '26
CAM SCHLITTLER IS A GOOD THROWER (SHOW HIM THIS COMMENT AND HE WILL IMMEDIATELY START SLUMPING)
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u/greenpenguinboy Chicago Cubs Jul 17 '26
ROSES ARE RED CUBS ARE BLUE MILWAUKEE IS SMOKEY FUCK CANADA
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u/GreatSavitar Toronto Blue Jays Jul 17 '26
HEY FUCK YOU WE DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS SHIT. WE DON'T COMPLAIN WHEN YOUR SHIT LEAKS OUT THE TOILET
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u/sagwithcapmoon Toronto Blue Jays • Chicago Cubs Jul 17 '26
THE ONLY EXCLUSIVE BASEBALL COVERAGE I SUPPORT IS BY SPORTSNET IN CANADA.
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u/huskyferretguy1 New York Yankees Jul 17 '26
LOS ANGELES IS A BUNCH OF STRIP MALLS SQUISHED TOGETHER!
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u/delscorch0 Los Angeles Dodgers Jul 17 '26
I ASSUME THE WHITE SMOKE COMING FROM CANADA MEANS THE BLUE JAYS HAVE ELECTED A NEW POPE LIKE THE WHITE SOX DID PREVIOUSLY
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u/LucklessRouge Chicago Cubs • Dumpster Fire Jul 17 '26
FUCK THE ENTIRE COUNTRY OF CANADA PLEASE TAKE YOUR SMOKE BACK
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u/GreatSavitar Toronto Blue Jays Jul 17 '26
HEY! FUCK OFF! WE DON'T COMPLAIN WHEN YOUR SHIT LEAKS
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u/theJexican18 Tampa Bay Devil Rays • Pittsburgh Pirates Jul 17 '26
YOU GUYS (justifiably) COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR SHIT ALL THE TIME
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u/LucklessRouge Chicago Cubs • Dumpster Fire Jul 17 '26
WE ACTUALLY SEND MOST OF OUR SHIT TO ST. LOUIS WHERE IT BELONGS
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u/GreatSavitar Toronto Blue Jays Jul 17 '26
I'M SEEING THEM PLAY THE JAYS ON THE 31ST SHOULD I BE WORRIED
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u/CalebosO4 Toronto Blue Jays Jul 17 '26
WERE NOT THE ONLY ONES WITH WILDFIRES (I’m looking at you Minnesota)
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u/Johnnumber51 Seattle Mariners Jul 17 '26
WELL, AT LEAST WE AREN’T AS BAD AS THE WHITE SOX… WAIT.
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u/SnooCauliflowers9981 Milwaukee Brewers Jul 17 '26
WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE THE ONLY THING MORE CERTAIN THAN DEATH AND TAXES, ARE RAIN OUTS AND RAIN DELAYS IN PITTSBURGH?
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u/Johnnumber51 Seattle Mariners Jul 17 '26
ANY TEAM WITHOUT A ROOF SHOULD BE RELEGATED
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u/snickerDUDEls Boston Red Sox • Detroit Tigers Jul 17 '26
TRY TO PUT A ROOF ON FENWAY, GO AHEAD, I FUCKIN DARE YA
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u/PutStreet Washington Nationals Jul 17 '26
WHY DOES THE OTHER TEAMS POSITION PLAYERS HAVE A BETTER ERA THAN THE NATIONALS BULLPEN?
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u/mikeisboris Minnesota Twins Jul 17 '26
WHY DOES THE NATIONALS BULLPEN HAVE A BETTER ERA THAN THE TWINS BULLPEN? ALL STAR RELEIVERS LOUIS VARLAND AND JHOAN DURAN CERTAINLY WOULDN'T HAVE MADE A DIFFERENCE IN OUR SEASON RIGHT?
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u/RayTrain Detroit Tigers Jul 17 '26
WE AREN'T FREAKING TRADING SKUBAL GET YOUR GRUBBY HANDS OFF OF HIM (CHRIS ILLITCH NEEDS HIS TICKET SALES TO PAY FRAMBER'S CONTRACT)
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u/SnooCauliflowers9981 Milwaukee Brewers Jul 17 '26
I'VE WAITED SO LONG (OVER 14 DAYS) FOR A HOME GAME, THAT THIS IS THE MOST EXCITED I'VE EVER BEEN TO GO TO A GAME AGAINST THE MARLINS.
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u/mereham2022 St. Louis Cardinals Jul 17 '26
I SAID IT LAST YEAR AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN, WHO THOUGHT BUILDING A GIANT CITY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT WAS A GOOD IDEA. AT LEAST VEGAS HAS CASINOS AND COOL SHOWS, WHAT’S THERE TO DO IN PHOENIX EXCEPT WATCH YOUR TERRIBLE SPORTS TEAMS WHILE YOU BOIL ALIVE
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u/ejdomhain St. Louis Cardinals Jul 17 '26
THINGS ARE GETTING HEATED IN THE CARDINAL SPORTS COMMUNITY
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u/mmm_tempeh Homestead Grays • Norfolk Tides Jul 17 '26
BLUE JAYS RUINED THE ALL STAR GAME AND THEN CROP DUSTED OUR ENTIRE COUNTRY
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u/bolieve11 Toronto Blue Jays • Chaos Bandwagon Jul 17 '26
THERE WAS ONLY THREE OF THEM THERE, PHILLIES HOSTED IT AND LOST THE ALL STAR GAME AND THE DERBY
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u/Just-Faithlessness12 Los Angeles Dodgers Jul 17 '26
BASEBALL IS BETTER WHEN THE CUBS GO 100+ YEARS In between CHAMPIONSHIPS
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Jul 17 '26
[deleted]
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u/Just-Faithlessness12 Los Angeles Dodgers Jul 17 '26
I can’t stand them fucking mouth breathers
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u/CalebosO4 Toronto Blue Jays Jul 17 '26
IF THEY DIDN’T WIN IN 2016, LITERALLY NO ONE WOULD BE ALIVE SINCE THEIR LAST CHAMPIONSHIP
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u/chairmanwow888 Chicago Cubs Jul 17 '26
DID PCA HURT YOUR FEELINGS
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u/Sanlear New York Yankees Jul 17 '26
I WANT TO MOCK THE DODGERS, BUT CONSIDERING HOW MY TEAM USUALLY PLAYS AGAINST THEM, IT’S PROBABLY BETTER THAT I STAY QUIET.
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u/PeteWheeler01 Los Angeles Dodgers Jul 17 '26
I WANT TO MOCK THE DODGERS, BUT CONSIDERING HOW MY TEAM USUALLY PLAYS
AGAINST THEMSINCE 2009, IT’S PROBABLY BETTER THAT I STAY QUIET.FTFY
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u/AADPS Boston Red Sox • Chicago Cubs Jul 17 '26
I WENT TO A WASHINGTON NATIONALS GAME, AND SECURITY KEPT TELLING US TO STOP THROWING TRASH ONTO THE FIELD. IT TOOK US THREE INNINGS TO CONVINCE THEM THAT IT WASN'T US, THAT'S JUST HOW THE PITCHING LOOKS ALL THE TIME.
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u/manticore16 New York Yankees Jul 17 '26
THE INNINGS WERE THE 7TH, 8TH, AND 9TH.
THE YANKEES SHOULD NOT HAVE WON THOSE GAMES.
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u/belliott009 Washington Nationals Jul 17 '26
NATS ARE AN AVERAGE BULLPEN AWAY FROM HAVING AN IDENTICAL RECORD TO THE DODGERS! (48-49/61-36)
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u/Captain_Brad14 San Francisco Giants Jul 17 '26
I'M SURPRISED THE GIANTS AREN'T HIGHER ON THAT LIST
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u/sweetbabyted Philadelphia Phillies Jul 17 '26
I AM GROWING CONCERNED WITH DON MATTINGLY’S BULLPEN MANAGEMENT AND I CANT LEAVE MY HOUSE BECAUSE OF THE AIR QUALITY INDEX
ALSO FUCK THE METS
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u/manticore16 New York Yankees Jul 17 '26
YOU'RE GONNA GET SCOTT PROCTOR'S ARM THANKS TO LEARNING FROM TORRE AND YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT.
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u/Redbubble89 Boston Red Sox Jul 17 '26
WHEN MY FIRST BASEMEN GETS OUT OF BASEBALL JAIL, SWIMMY FLAPPIES ARE DEAD.
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u/Jdballer22 Toronto Blue Jays • Toronto Blue Jays Jul 17 '26
HEY MINNESOTA, STOP COPYING OUR FLOW WITH THE WILDFIRES!
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u/Shadowwo1f05 New York Yankees Jul 17 '26
BLUE JAYS STARTED WILDFIRES TO MESS WITH OTHER TEAMS IN THE DIVISION
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u/Bartman326 New York Yankees Jul 17 '26
They new LA was coming this weekend. They're killing two stones with one bird
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u/Biggsmustache0131 Boston Red Sox Jul 17 '26
WATCH OUT AL EAST RIVALS, THE RED SOX (MIGHT) BE COMING. THOSE FLAPPY BOYS ARE GOING DOWN(POSSIBLY)
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u/PanZerPanFGC Boston Red Sox • Seattle Mariners Jul 17 '26
CAREFUL BUDDY WE'RE PLAYING IN FENWAY THE STREAK HAS NEVER BEEN MORE IN DANGER
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u/Biggsmustache0131 Boston Red Sox Jul 17 '26
WE (MIGHT) BE A GOOD BASEBALL TEAM. THOSE FLAPPY BOYS ARE (POSSIBLY) GOING DOWN TONIGHT
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u/PanZerPanFGC Boston Red Sox • Seattle Mariners Jul 17 '26
NEVER BEEN IN MORE DANGER OF CONTINUING THAT IS GO SOX
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u/NoSxKats Pittsburgh Pirates Jul 17 '26
WE WANNA TRADE FOR OTHER TEAMS 27TH MAN OR A FAILED PROSPECT INSTEAD OF A VIABLE BULLPEN ARM HAHAHAHAHAHAH
https://giphy.com/gifs/YRPBhd3vscg5Fxx1DQ
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u/VoidBoiTCG Athletics Jul 17 '26
WHO EVEN GETS THOSE COOL DODGERS PROMOTIONS? I ONLY EVER SEE THEM LISTED ON EBAY SECONDS AFTER THE GAMES START 🫵🤣
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u/somethingwade Washington Nationals Jul 17 '26
IF THE NATS HAD THE NEXT MOST BLOWN SAVES THEY WOULD BE IN THE TOP WC SPOT AND HAVE THE SAME NUMBER OF WINS AS THE DIVISION LEADER ATLANTA. INSTEAD THEY'RE UNDER .500. THE JOKE IS THIS BULLPEN.
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u/Ready-Object7831 Seattle Mariners Jul 17 '26
WE ARE EITHER GOING ON A POST ASB TEAR OR THE GIANTS ARE SWEEPING US
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u/VortistheSlaver Jul 17 '26
IF WE DONT GET RELIEF PITCHERS IM GOING TO BE VERY UPSET WATCHING G THE REST OF THE SEASON.
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u/lastminutealways Seattle Mariners • Chaos Bandwagon Jul 17 '26
FLAIR UP, YOU COULD BE ALMOST ANY TEAM WITH THAT STATEMENT
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u/LibrarianFlaky951 Jul 17 '26
THERE SHOULD BE SYSTEM WHERE SHITTY TEAMS GET DEMOTED TO AAA (or lower) IF THEY SUCK LONG ENOUGH AND BAD ENOUGH (like English soccer) SAY HELLO TO THE LOW-A ANGELS
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u/lifejustadream Jul 17 '26
WE HOLD THE ONLY RECORD FOR NEVER ENTERING THE WORLD SERIES
SUCK DAT YOU FOOLS 😤
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u/StealthStaminaKills Jul 17 '26
HEAR ME OUT, SMALL MARKET OWNERS SHOULD TRY TO JONES FOR HOSTING THE ALL STAR GAME = AUTOMATIC PLAYOFF BERTH SIMILAR TO THE WORLD CUP INTO THE CBA FOR "COMPETITVE BALANCE".
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u/CabassoG New York Yankees Jul 17 '26
I KNOW CANADA IS BEING SMOKED AT BASEBALL, BUT I'D PREFER THE SMOKE NOT AFFECT THE YANKEES EITHER
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u/Soshy1812 Australia • Los Angeles Dodgers Jul 17 '26
STEP ON SNEKS, DONT LET THEM HAVE THE WILDCARD SLOT, THEY MIGHT BITE OUR ASS.
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u/Decoys_Leash_Handler Los Angeles Dodgers Jul 17 '26
CODY BELLINGER WAS WAY HOTTER IN A DODGERS UNIFORM
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u/genericSuburbanMan Philadelphia Phillies Jul 17 '26
IM NOT SEEING NEARLY ENOUGH DODGERS HATE IN THIS THREAD… WE NEED TO UNITE AGAINST THE EVIL EMPIRE
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u/FinlayForever Atlanta Braves • Atlanta Braves Jul 17 '26
I, FOR ONE, DO NOT CARE FOR ANY TEAM THAT IS NOT THE ATLANTA BRAVES
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u/Woefinder Washington Nationals Jul 18 '26
DONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE BULLPEN FUCKING SELLING IF YOU PUT UP 23 RUNS.... AND NO, DON'T TAKE THAT AS A CHALLENGE.
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u/HealthyBee4209 Toronto Blue Jays Jul 17 '26
IT IS NOT FAIR THAT THE REST OF US HAVE TO PLAY SECULARLY WHILE ONE TEAM HAS THE CATHOLIC CHURCH BEHIND THEM.