r/baseball • u/BaseballBot Umpire • Jun 05 '26
Feature OFFICIAL FRIDAY TRASH TALK THREAD
# RULES:
CAPS LOCK
MAKE JOKES ABOUT OTHER TEAMS
LAUGH AT JOKES ABOUT YOUR TEAM
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u/ChenYakumo2hu Los Angeles Dodgers • Los Angeles… Jun 05 '26
ROCKIES FUCK YOU FOR KILLING OUR HERNÁNDEZES
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u/where_thefuck_i_am Toronto Blue Jays Jun 05 '26
OH SHIT OH FUCK WE PLAYING O'S AGAIN THIS REMINDS ME ABOUT ONE INCIDENT THAT HAPPENED 6 FUCKING DAYS AGO
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u/Irate_Ibis Houston Astros • Houston Colt 45s Jun 05 '26
WE COULD BE A GREAT TEAM IF WE DIDN’T HAVE TO THROW THE BALL TO BATTERS.
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u/Nomahs_Bettah Boston Red Sox Jun 05 '26
WE COULD BE A GREAT TEAM IF WE DIDN’T HAVE TO BAT THE BALLS PITCHED AT US (and Bryan Bello didn’t have to throw the ball to batters).
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u/kokopellifacetatt0o Baltimore Orioles Jun 05 '26
YOU WHISPERED THAT LAST PART BUT WE STILL HEARD YOU
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u/pm_me_your_respect69 New York Yankees Jun 05 '26
HOW IS IT THAT THERE ARE ONLY FIVE TEAMS IN THE AMERICAN LEAGUE WITH A WINNING RECORD ON JUNE 5TH AND ONE OF THOSE TEAMS IS THE WHITE SOX??
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u/slicebishybosh Chicago Cubs Jun 05 '26
WE'VE BEEN TRYING OUR HARDEST TO GIVE THE AMERICAN LEAGUE AS MANY WINS AS POSSIBLE.
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u/dammets New York Yankees Jun 05 '26
THIS IS SUCH A WEIRD ANOMALY OF A SEASON, CLEARY THE MARINERS ARE WINNING THE WS
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u/inbigtreble30 Milwaukee Brewers Jun 05 '26
CAN WE PLEASE HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT THIS BEFORE WE DECIDE?
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u/Raptor231408 Arizona Diamondbacks Jun 05 '26
I WAS TOLD EXPANDING THE POSTSEASON TO 16 TEAMS FOR A CLEAN BRACKET WAS A BAD IDEA BECAUSE THEN SUB .500 TEAMS WOULD GET IN.
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u/evanieCK Cleveland Guardians • WPBL Jun 05 '26
DURING THIS WEEKEND SERIES THE TEXAS RANGERS, IN LIEU OF A PRIDE NIGHT, WILL CELEBRATE CONSERVATIVE VALUES BY HAVING A MENS BATHROOM SPECIALLY DESIGNATED FOR DL HOOKUPS THE WAY GOD INTENDED
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u/Ollie_ollie_drummer Philadelphia Phillies • Los Angeles Qu… Jun 05 '26
HOME RUN BELL WILL BE A GRINDR NOTIFICATION
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u/whoeatscheese Detroit Tigers Jun 05 '26
NONE OF YOU BETTER EVEN GLANCE AT TARIK.
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u/PolackMike Baltimore Orioles Jun 05 '26
THE RED SOX ARE ONLY TWO GAMES OUT OF HAVING THE WORST RECORD IN BASEBALL. ONLY THE ROCKIES AND ANGELS HAVE WORSE RECORDS.
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u/lost-and-lurking Los Angeles Angels Jun 05 '26
LUCKY FOR THE RED SOX, THE ANGELS WON’T LET THEM TAKE THEIR PLACE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE RANKINGS!
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u/nooookay Boston Red Sox • Boston Hunters Jun 05 '26
THE ONLY THING MORE EMBARRASSING THAN THIS IS ANY MAJOR LEAGUE TEAM THAT ACTUALLY MANAGES TO LOSE ANY GAME TO THE MINOR LEAGUE BOSTON RED SOX. THEIR WIN RECORD IS TOO DAMN HIGH PEOPLE!
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u/terry-tea Boston Red Sox Jun 05 '26
WE’RE ABOUT TO GET SWEPT BY THE YANKEES AGAIN AND IT’S GONNA MAKE ME SAY SOME VERY UNKIND THINGS ABOUT PEOPLE’S MOTHERS
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u/Chutzvah Chicago White Sox Jun 05 '26
I AM SO HAPPY THAT WE WENT FROM THE WORST RECORD IN HISTORY TO HAVING FUN.
IT'S LIKE BEING A BEARS FAN LAST YEAR
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u/Far_Card7988 New York Mets Jun 05 '26
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u/Ok_fine_Im_here White Sox Bandwagon • San Diego Padres Jun 05 '26
THIS SERIES IS GONNA BE HILARIOUS!
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u/RetsuKaiho Toronto Blue Jays Jun 05 '26
WE ARE INJURY CURSED
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u/officerdoot Arizona Diamondbacks • Toronto Blue Jays Jun 05 '26
SO ARE WE
IF EVERYONE'S INJURED, IS NO ONE INJURED?
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u/JosephFinn Chicago White Sox Jun 05 '26
FUCK YOU TIGERS WITH YOUR LIKABLE VERLANDER WHO IS MAKING PROGRESS IN HIS REHAB AND WILL PROBABLY COME BACK AND SOMEHOW THROW A PERFECT GAME AGAINST THE WHITE SOX BECAUSE LIFE IS PAIN.
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u/kikoskylang Detroit Tigers Jun 05 '26
LOL IN MY DREAMS
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u/JosephFinn Chicago White Sox Jun 05 '26
I CAN'T HELP IT I JUST LIKE VERLANDER EVEN WHEN HE'S KILLING US.
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u/kikoskylang Detroit Tigers Jun 05 '26
YEAH WELL HE KILLED US TOO IN THE ONE START HE HAD SO FAR THIS YEAR
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u/vichan Cleveland Guardians Jun 05 '26
VERLANDER BEING BACK WITH DETROIT GIVES ME A "WORLD IS HEALING" FEEL EVEN THOUGH I KNOW IT'S NOT
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u/Imjustbrowsing93 Toronto Blue Jays Jun 05 '26
WE'RE COMING FOR REVENGE, ORIOLES
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u/thatonekrys Atlanta Braves Jun 05 '26
PADRES YOU ARE FUCKING USELESS HOW THE HELL DO YOU LET YOURSELF GET WALKED ALL OVER BY THE PHILOLIES LIKE THAT?!
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u/Ok_fine_Im_here White Sox Bandwagon • San Diego Padres Jun 05 '26
YOU FOOL, WE ALWAYS DO THAT, PAY ATTENTION!
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u/PM_ME_DIRTY_DANGLES Philadelphia Phillies Jun 05 '26
DFA'ING CASTY IN PHILADELPHIA IS SOME TRULY DIABOLICAL SHIT; IRONIC FOR A TEAM NAMED FOR CLERGY
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u/Thrill0728 Chicago Cubs Jun 05 '26
THIS GODDAMN DIVISON IS STILL ABOVE .500! GOOD JOB GUYS, BUT FUCK YOU AS WELL.
HOPE IS A FICKLE THING! ALWAYS KEEP IT, AND ALWAYS CHOOSE IT!
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u/b33rb3lly Chicago Cubs Jun 05 '26
IT'S NOT THE HOPE THAT KILLS YOU; IT'S KNOWING THAT IT'S THE HOPE THAT KILLS YOU THAT KILLS YOU
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u/l-lerp Chicago Cubs Jun 05 '26
IT'S NOT KNOWING THAT IT'S THE HOPE THAT KILLS YOU. IT'S KNOWING THAT IT'S NOT KNOWING THE HOPE THAT KILLS YOU THAT KILLS YOU
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u/ColeMinetv Pittsburgh Pirates Jun 05 '26
PCA WILL MAKE SURE IT DOESNT END THAT WAY, BUT SO WILL OUR BULLPEN
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u/magikarp2122 Pittsburgh Pirates Jun 05 '26
MLOD AND DOTEL MUGHT DRAG THE BULLPEN TO AVERAGE KICKING AND SCREAMING!!!
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u/ColeMinetv Pittsburgh Pirates Jun 05 '26
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY POOR SANTANA :(
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u/kirbyfaraone Los Angeles Angels Jun 05 '26
THIS IS THE DODGERS WORLD SERIES.
TRY YOUR WORST YOU RICH MOTHERFUCKERS.
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u/EtherEither Kansas City Royals Jun 05 '26
WE’RE GOING TO SQUANDER THE ENTIRE CAREER OF ONE OF THE BEST SHORTSTOPS EVER, I JUST KNOW IT.
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u/magikarp2122 Pittsburgh Pirates Jun 05 '26
AT LEAST HE ISN’T A CENTERFIELDER WITH A ONCE IN A LIFETIME TWO PLAYER.
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u/5th_heavenly_king Chinese Taipei Jun 05 '26
AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME I DONT CARE ABOUT THE YANKEES BECAUSE WE HAVE MORE IMPORTANT SHIT TO FOCUS ON BUT AFTER THE NBA FINALS I WILL COME BACK AND CRY BECAUSE GOD DAMN.
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Jun 05 '26
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u/CountPhantom_YT San Diego Padres Jun 05 '26
STEPHEN SOUZA HAPPENED
I'M VERY MAD THAT WE TRADED KOLEK AND BERGERT BECAUSE WE THOUGHT LUIS CAMPUSANO WAS NOTHING......ONLY FOR CAMPY TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO HIT AGAIN!
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u/CoolWalkings Jun 05 '26
BUDDY I HOPE THE YANKS ARE READY TO GET SWEPT BY THE WORST TEAM IN THE MLB LFG SOX!!!
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u/AbbreviationsGold587 New York Yankees Jun 05 '26
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO NOT EVEN BE THE BEST SOX BASED TEAM?
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u/_Elrond_Hubbard_ Seattle Mariners Jun 05 '26
THE JUDGE SENTENCED ME TO ANGELS FANDOM FOR LIFE BUT I BEGGED FOR THE DEATH PENALTY INSTEAD
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u/Walnutbutters Cleveland Guardians Jun 05 '26
THE TAMPA BAY RAYS HAVE A HIGHER WIN PERCENTAGE THAN THE NEW YORK YANKEES
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u/garoood Los Angeles Angels Jun 05 '26
THERES ANGELS FANS WHO HAVE ONLY KNOWN DESPAIR THEIR WHOLE LIVES
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u/anywitchway Seattle Mariners • Boston Red Sox Jun 05 '26
GOSH I CAN'T POSSIBLY IMAGINE THE FEELING.
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u/CalebosO4 Toronto Blue Jays Jun 05 '26
THE BRAVES GAVE UP 2 HITS TO TYLER HEINEMAN AND COULDN’T SCORE ON JEFF HOFFMAN
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u/Captain_Joe_ITG Atlanta Braves Jun 05 '26
YET WE TOOK THE PRIOR TWO WITH ELDER AND HOLMES ON THE MOUND
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u/CalebosO4 Toronto Blue Jays Jun 05 '26
AND WE SOMEHOW WON IN A BULLPEN GAME. BASEBALL DO BE LIKE THAT SOMETIMES LOL.
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u/thebearfucker Toronto Blue Jays Jun 05 '26
ANTHONY SANTANDER IS A SLEEPER AGENT SENT BY THE ORIOLES
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u/j1h15233 Houston Astros Jun 05 '26
MARINERS! YOU COULDN’T SMOOTH A SILK SHEET IF YOU HAD A HOT DATE WITH A BABE…I LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT
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u/Ill-Weather-6383 Seattle Mariners • Dumpster Fire Jun 05 '26
I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU WERE GOING WITH THIS BUT I'M WILLING TO WAIT
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u/TheKnicksMakeMeDrink New York Yankees Jun 05 '26
I WISH AARON JUDGE DIDNT GET HURT
I WISH MAX FRIED DIDNT GET HURT
I WISH GIANCARLO STANTON DIDNT GET HURT
THE ONLY GOOD THING IN MY LIFE IS THE NEW YORK KNICKS
IMAGINE ME SAYING THAT LAST LINE 6 YEARS AGO?
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u/beefytrout Texas Rangers Jun 05 '26
IT'S NICE TO KNOW THAT SHEA LANGELIERS HAS THE ABILITY TO MASH AGAINST OTHER TEAMS
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u/Rocktrout331490 Pittsburgh Pirates Jun 05 '26
THE DODGERS ARE GOING TO BE CRIPPLED WHEN THEY VISIT PNC, I SWEAR ON MY MAMA. SHOHEI WILL HAVE AN ERA OF 1000.45 BY THEN END.
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u/ChenYakumo2hu Los Angeles Dodgers • Los Angeles… Jun 05 '26
RUSHING AND SASAKI ARE SECRETLY GAY FURRIES Y'ALL ARE COOKED
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u/Discount_Engineer Atlanta Braves Jun 05 '26
IMAGINE NOT BEING THE BEST TEAM IN THE COUNTRY HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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u/CalebosO4 Toronto Blue Jays Jun 05 '26
IMAGINE NOT BEING THE BEST TEAM IN THE COUNTRY EVERY YEAR SINCE 2003
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u/S-y-m-n Jun 05 '26
BAHAHA THE "FIRST PLACE FAVORITES" DETROIT TIGERS GOT SWEPT BY MY DOGSHIT CLEVELAND GUARDIANS! WHAT THE FUCK IS A "QUALITY STARTING PITCHER" LMAOOOO
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u/Wonderful-Photo-6068 Washington Nationals Jun 05 '26
UNIQLO FIELD AT DODGERS STADIUM
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u/Significant-Check837 Los Angeles Dodgers Jun 05 '26
THE ANGELS SHOULD RENAME THEMSELVES BACK TO THE ANAHEIM ANGELS. THEY SOMEHOW DESERVE LESS OF THE “LA” BRANDING THAN THE CHARGERS.
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u/ChenYakumo2hu Los Angeles Dodgers • Los Angeles… Jun 05 '26
THEY WOULD ACTUALLY BE GOOD IF THEY WEREN'T LA
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u/Alectheawesome23 New York Mets Jun 05 '26
GO NEW YORK GO NEW YORK GO!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN ANOTHER ORANGE AND BLUE TEAM PLAYS TODAY?
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u/NoSxKats Pittsburgh Pirates Jun 05 '26
OUR BULLPEN IS SO ASS IT NEEDED OUR ARGUABLY OUR 3RD OR 4TH BEST STARTER FROM THE MAJORS AND A TRIPLE A STARTER TO COME IN SO WE WOULDNT KEEP IMPLODING AND WE STILL REFUSE TO CALL UP SOME OF OUR GOOD TRIPLE A BULLPEN ARMS TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT
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u/Philthou Cleveland Guardians Jun 05 '26
HOW THE FUCK DID THE YANKEES LOSE A SERIES TO THE GUARDIANS WHO HAVE A SMALL ASS PAYROLL WHO ALSO KEEPS CUTTING PAYROLL!
YOU YANKEES FUCKING SUCK
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u/ChenYakumo2hu Los Angeles Dodgers • Los Angeles… Jun 05 '26
THE YANKEES GAMBLED AGAINST THEMSELVES
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u/jastermereel10 Milwaukee Brewers Jun 05 '26
I'M JUST WAITING FOR THE INEVITABLE OCTOBER HEARTBREAK
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u/starseeker1999 Jun 05 '26
I REALLY LIKE STEVEN KWAN SO ITS SAD TO SEE THAT HE IS STRUGGLING THIS YEAR
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u/EpsilonChii San Diego Padres Jun 05 '26
WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THE PADRES OFFENSE JESUS CHRIST. @ PRELLER: HOW ABOUT INSTEAD OF PURSUING SKUBAL YOU FIND SOME ACTUALLY DECENT HITTING COACH PLEASE AND THANK YOU
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u/sadclassicrocklover Los Angeles Dodgers Jun 05 '26
BLUE JAYS ORIOLES GONNA END 14-13 LIKE IT ALWAYS SOMEHOW DOES
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u/StealthStaminaKills Jun 05 '26
MY HOME STADIUM IS CHARGING 400 DOLLARS TO ATTEND A GAME FOR A SILLY ONE PIECE CARD ON ANIMU EXPO WEEKEND. FUCK YOU CASUALS.
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u/ulantan Philadelphia Phillies Jun 05 '26
WE SUCCESSFULLY DUCKED MASON MILLER FOR SIX GAMES STRAIGHT HAHAHAHAHAH
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u/Callsign_Psycopath Atlanta Braves Jun 05 '26
FUCK THE PHILLIES, FUCK THE METS, AND FUCK THE YANKEES
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u/huskyferretguy1 New York Yankees Jun 05 '26
RED SOX ARE SO BAD THAT THE CITGO SIGN IS LEAVING!
/S
ALSO GO KNICKS!
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u/SnooCauliflowers9981 Milwaukee Brewers Jun 05 '26
BACK AGAIN, TO SEE IF THE RED SOX HAVE ANY MORE OF THOSE "UNDERPERFORMING PITCHERS" FOR US......
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u/scottborasismyagent Los Angeles Dodgers • MLB Players Association Jun 05 '26
WE PLAY THE ANGELS THIS WEEKEND SO I WANTED TO REMIND EVERYBODY THEY ENDED UP SIGNING THIS GUY INSTEAD OF US BC HE DIDN'T WANT THE HOLLYWOOD LIFESTYLE
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u/Hungry-Space-1829 Los Angeles Dodgers Jun 05 '26
THE PADRES MAY NEVER WIN AGAIN
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u/jackrabbit323 Los Angeles Dodgers Jun 05 '26
DANHAUSEN HATES THE PADRES!
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u/magikarp2122 Pittsburgh Pirates Jun 05 '26
I SHOULD ASK HIM HOW MUCH TO CURSE THE BREWERS, OR TO UNCURSE OUR BULLPEN.
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u/Odd_Road6150 Jun 05 '26
SO WAS TATIS JUICING WITH HIS FORMER TEAMMATE THAT'S NOW SUSPENDED IN ATL? IS THAT WHY THE POWER OUTAGE?
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u/Bravos_Chopper Atlanta Braves Jun 05 '26
MY TEAM HAS PROLLY WHIPPED YO TEAM ASS, CRY TO YA MOMMA
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u/_Elrond_Hubbard_ Seattle Mariners Jun 05 '26
MARINER
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u/Callsign_Psycopath Atlanta Braves Jun 05 '26
HONESTLY, Y'ALL ARE THE ONE TEAM I CAN ACCEPT TAKING A SERIES OFF OF US.
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Jun 05 '26
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u/Discount_Engineer Atlanta Braves Jun 05 '26
METS ARE WINLESS AGAINST THE BRAVES THIS SEASON
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u/FrostyIVV Minnesota Twins Jun 05 '26
MY TEAM HAS SOME OF THE WORST LITTLE LEAGUE ASS DEFENSE IVE SEEN KEASCHALL A DEFENSIVE TERRORIST
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u/EffectiveCycle Cincinnati Reds Jun 05 '26
WHY DO I HAVE TO WATCH THE WORST TEAM IN THE NFL ACT LIKE THEY CAN PLAY BASEBALL THIS WEEKEND?
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u/gorays45 Tampa Bay Rays Jun 05 '26
THE DODGERS INJURED SOMONE BC THERE DOING GOOD
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u/ChenYakumo2hu Los Angeles Dodgers • Los Angeles… Jun 05 '26
CORRECTION: THE ROCKIES COMMITED BLANTANT MURDER OF THE HERNÁNDEZES. WE'RE DOWN TO ONLY ONE HERNÁNDEZ
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u/mamacrocker Texas Rangers Jun 05 '26
OUR MANAGEMENT DECIDES WHO’S AND WHO’S OUT BY PULLING NAMES FROM A DIRTY SOCK.
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u/JohnsonMachine Atlanta Braves Jun 05 '26
THE BRAVES ARE SO BAD THEY CANT FIGURE OUT HOW TO SWEEP THEIR OPPONENTS! SAD!
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u/Captain_Joe_ITG Atlanta Braves Jun 05 '26
WHO NEEDS TO SWEEP, LET THE ASHES OF THE TEAMS WE BEAT FALL
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u/Broke_Banker01 Milwaukee Brewers Jun 05 '26
IF YOU ARE A PITCHER FOR MILWAUKEE AND YOU SUCK YOU SHOULD PROBABLY RETIRE (LOOKING AT YOU, WOODFORD).
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u/Accomplished_Mark419 Kansas City Royals • Kansas City Royals Jun 05 '26
YANKEES FANS SLOTTING IN BEN RICE FOR AL MVP AFTER JUDGE GOES DOWN IS THE MOST YANKEE FAN THING EVER AND IT'S WHY EVERYONE HATES YOU,
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u/Lakelyfe09 Atlanta Braves Jun 05 '26
FUCK THE USELESS ASS PADRES. WE TAKE 2/3 IN LA AND YALL REPAY US WITH THAT?!?!
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u/baseballviper04 Jun 05 '26
IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS THE MLB IS THE WORST RUN LEAGUE
THEY HAVE MADE SO MANY GREAT STRIDES TO BECOME RELEVANT AND IMPORTANT AGAIN IN THE WORLD OF NA SPORT. FINALLY RECOVERING FROM THE LAST LOCKOUT IN 94, FINALLY BEATING THE BORING ALLEGATIONS DUE TO GREAT RULE CHANGES SUCH A PITCH CLOCK
AND HERE WE FUCKING ARE STARING DOWN BARREL OF ANOTHER LOCKOUT BECAUSE THE OWNERS ARE GREEDY SLUTS
WITH THAT BEING SAID IM IN FAVOR OF A CAP AND FLOOR, FIGHT ME
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u/jdballer27 Toronto Blue Jays Jun 05 '26
SORRY BIRB BROS. WE WANT OUR GET BACK FOR THE SERIES IN CAMDEN.
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u/kokopellifacetatt0o Baltimore Orioles Jun 05 '26
UNFORTUNATELY FOR US EVERY TIME WE WERE CRUSHED BY A DIVISION RIVAL, WE WENT ON TO CRUSH THEM. I FEAR THIS WILL WORK BOTH WAYS AND THERE IS NO WAY TO SPLIT THE SERIES THIS TIME.
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u/mswfiber Seattle Mariners Jun 05 '26
THE JAYS ARE SO COOKED AND SHOOK THAT THEY ARE STILL BLAMING THE ETSY-WITCH
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u/DonutHolschteinn Arizona Diamondbacks • Seattle Mariners Jun 05 '26
HAHA SUCK IT DODGERS YOU LOST TO A MARTE PARTY WALK OFF HOME RUN
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u/magikarp2122 Pittsburgh Pirates Jun 05 '26
HOW THE FUCK ARE WE WILD CARD 1 WITH OUR SHITTY ASS BULLPEN? REST OF THE NL, ARE YOU EVEN TRYING?
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u/kokopellifacetatt0o Baltimore Orioles Jun 05 '26
I LOVE TYING UP WITH THE BJS JUST TO IMMEDIATELY HAVE TO FACE THEM AGAIN
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u/Double_Vodka_Soda San Francisco Giants Jun 05 '26
Poor Chicago. Bears getting relocated to Indiana and Cubs losing to a 25-38 Giants team LOL
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u/DienekesMinotaur Atlanta Braves Jun 05 '26
THE $350 MILLION METS ARE THE WPRST TEAM IN THE NL EAST!
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u/anywitchway Seattle Mariners • Boston Red Sox Jun 05 '26
IMAGINE BEING ABLE TO HIT WITH RUNNERS IN SCORING POSITION.
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u/Brix001 San Francisco Giants Jun 05 '26
THE SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS