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u/LoveDistilled Aug 10 '25
I feel like. Having friends as an adult is hard in general. Even more so when you don’t have the social lubricants. My hanging out used to center around smoking weed and drinking. Now I don’t do either. Plus I became a mom, so a whole extra level to it. Life is all about changing priorities tho. It’s appropriate. But you’re grieving this is also valid.
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u/raphmo Aug 10 '25
Props to you to take that path! Honestly the real ones are gonna stay/you’re gonna meet them. Like an other comment said, it’s normal to feel sad and nostalgic, it’s totally valid, but keep going and invest your time in what you like. It’s a real gift that you are making for yourself. 💚
Sorry, I dunno if my english is understandable because I speak french:)
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u/dxbbixx Aug 10 '25
your english was perfect and vos mots sont si gentils, merci! i feel better now after processing this feeling, ive been sitting with it for the past week and finally was able to put together what had me down. it seems a little daunting still, but i know im walking towards my purpose and uncomfortable moments are inevitable. thank you again for the encouragement 💗
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u/fake-august Aug 10 '25
This, and also - reintroduce yourself to yourself.
You may find you like your own company best - at least at the beginning! You are doing a wonderful thing for yourself- treat yourself nicely :)
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u/raphmo Aug 10 '25
Exactly and such is life, that’s what is making us strong:)) I wish you a very good journey
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u/squidlizzy Aug 10 '25
I can relate to this 100% - I got sober a week after I turned 26. I’m 32 now. I still struggle to make friends as an adult without drinking. It ebbs and flows. I don’t have the same social battery that I used to either. Getting drunk was a big motivator to socialize. I could go on and on. Basically, it’s hard lol. Feel free to DM anytime to talk sobriety-struggles.
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u/StingyP813 Aug 10 '25
Just goes to show sometimes that’s all people really have in common. Take away the alcohol and drugs and you’ll start seeing what you really enjoy and dislike. Plus who’s suppose to be around you. Find different locations and interest to spend your time
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u/BrianArmstro Aug 10 '25
Probably the hardest part about getting sober. I’m 7 years sober and I still miss the socialization aspect of it. My friend was telling me about a party that he went to last night that sounded really fun and part of me wishes I could go to parties and enjoy them like how I used to when I was drinking.
I really do not enjoy being around drunk people whatsoever when I’m sober, so I pass on going to bars or anything that revolves around alcohol.
Sometimes it feels like I traded my social life for my health, but then again, I still can have fun with things that don’t involve drinking, but drinking is sadly like the most social thing that a lot of people do.
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Aug 10 '25
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u/BrianArmstro Aug 10 '25
If I could go back to my early sobriety days, I wish I would’ve found a community of sober people, but I never did AA or anything like that, so I really just had to accept being lonely for awhile. The tradeoff was definitely worth it though. I’d still do it all again. Thankfully, some of my old drinking buddies have now gotten sober themselves, so I’ve got a few people I can do things without alcohol with.
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u/Fickle-Secretary681 Aug 10 '25
I did a lot of volunteering early in sobriety, met a whole new friend group of awesome people.
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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '25
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