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In the 90s we came to visit my in-laws with my new daughter. My wifeâs sister had a baby about the same time. It was July and pretty warm in Long Beach. We get out and are talking to the in-laws and I said something like, it will be great to get the two girls together when your sister gets here to my wife. My father in law says âwell her daughter has been here all day, I didnât take her out of the car so I wouldnât wake her up.â I go out there thinking Iâd find the car running, but no he left the kid in there with the windows rolled âso no one would steal herâ. I got them to open the car and the kid was non responsive, I called 911 and got the emp there they took her to the emergency room and got her on fluids, the kid survived. I never let them watch my kids, they were never alone with them.
Obviously this is a super traumatic story and feel free to just ignore but.. was there any reckoning with them over this? You or your SIL? Canât even imagine how the relationship moves forward normally even outside of the boundaries/precautions you set with the kids moving forward.
Iâm so glad you were there and the conversation unfolded the way it did.
It was very weird. The SIL found the girl in the hospital, learned that she had nearly died, and that I had gotten emergency service activated. She had to deal with CPS but understood and thanked me. The FIL and MIL, they lived in a very bad part of Long Beach, where it meets Compton. They couldnât fathom what the issue was. Kept saying she was fine, when we pinched her after you made us take her out of the car she sort of opened her eyes, she was just tired. That was the end for me.
Thank goodness for you. I guess there's ignorance and then unrepentantingly dumb ignorance. I'm so glad you were there to respond and discerning enough to tell that they learned nothing. Thanks for sharing.
Ultimately did your wife and SIL agree never to leave living things for them to care for? How did they react to their parents?
They never said that out loud. The wife once tried to leave our kids there, and I said no, she thought I was being unfair. The kids are now all in their upper 20s and have no idea. But they were never left alone with their grandparents.
If it wasnât a hot car it would be something else. Assuming they can swim when they canât yet, or that they could have full sized grapes when they were toddlers, letting them play with something dangerous, leaving them alone with a pet they are too small to handle alone, etc. it would have been something. Someone who thinks itâs ok to leave a baby in a hot car likely thinks a whole litany of dangerous things are just fine
I need you to know that this was the best thing I've read all week and will be quoting you for months to come. 'Throw them in the sea and let them learn to frolic like the mighty and frightfully masculine lobster', indeed.
My ex best friend lost a baby doing the same. Literally couldnât fathom how it happened too, like bro itâs not even a secret the tv tells you every year not to leave your baby alone in a hot car. One time I met up with her and had to yell at her because we were at the malls food court I asked where baby was and she said sleeping in the car, but itâs ok!! Weâre in a garage so no direct sunlight. Thankfully that child ended up ok but the second one she did it to wasnât so lucky. Fucking tragic, I couldnât be friends anymore
Some grandparents get very lax. They forget how much attention a child requires, they forget how dependent children are, and they often think childrenâs abilities are far greater than what they actually are. I have 2 toddlers and every older person I talk to (50+) always think my kids should be doing x,y, and z, and itâs like uhhh no, thatâs not for like another couple years, you do realize this one literally just learned to walk like 6 months ago, right!? Itâs actually amazing how much older people forget what young kids are like.
Youâve just reinforced in my mind why I donât let my husbandâs mother keep our children unattended. We have a daughter who is autistic and a son who is, admittedly, kind of a handful. The one time I let her watch them, my oldest son (from a prior marriage) stayed there with his brother and sister. He told me when we got back that he had to step in several times and tell Lori âthatâs not how we do it,â and redirect the situation because she was getting very easily frustrated with the kids. Sheâs remarried now and has been pushing me and my husband to let her babysit. Thank for you reminding me that Iâm not crazy to have boundaries. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. No need for a second chance.
I don't know if its a generation thing but this is how my parents think. Like a bunch of random thoughts with absolutely zero consideration for consequences.
One of my best friends had to tell his mom he doesn't trust her with his kids when she kept pushing to babysit and he kept avoiding her. It's always the same response "You live, didn't you?". Sometimes it's in spite of, not because of.
When my aunt was a kid they lived in an apartment. Her and a friend used to stop the elevator between floors and jump on and off.
She remembers her friend grabbing her ankle. She thought she stayed in the elevator and went home. The friend fell down the shaft and died, she was trying to grab my aunt to save her life.
Did your aunt just kick her friend off? Did she lose her grip? Did she not even check why she grabbed her ankle? Like how does she just go from âOh my friend grabbed my ankle in an elevator shaftâ to âGuess she mustâve went home.â
Definitely a big factor, made worse by aging bones tending to release stored up lead back into the body.
Unfortunately many of us gen xers were exposed to a decent amount as well. The leaded old people plague has another chapter to go before that story is finished.
My parents are so much more careful with their Grandkids than they ever were with me and my siblings. Lol Iâm almost jealous of this parenting theyâre getting!
If I remember correctly, the mother only let her babysit the second child at the urging of her therapist. She didn't want to originally because she was so traumatized. Absolutely heartbreaking.
Why did she NEED to? My husbands parents are just assholes and we donât let them watch our kids. They didnât even have to kill anybody for me to not let them be alone with my kids.
Not all grandparents have to watch the kids. It is not a right. Spend time with them but donât need to babysit.
she was never alone with them again. even after my brother passed. iâd take my nephews to go see her for an hour + iâd be there the whole time. up until she passed 2 years ago when they were 16 + 11 + twice her size, i was next to them with her.
she did what she did. she apologized. they protected their children in a difficult situation + moved on. best case scenario for our family.
Yeah, I believe in therapy but there just are things you won't convince me to do, and let grandma watch my second child when she already killed the first is one of them. I don't even know that I'd be talking to grandma, whether she's my own mother or not, I couldn't look at her ever again.
I love my parents, but yeah, if this happened, I don't know if I could ever talk to them again. I don't even mean I'd go no contact to punish them. I just don't know if I could talk to them without feeling overwhelming anger and pain.
Right? This is what I don't understand. A normal person would lose their mind if they let their grandkid die like that. They would refuse to every be solely responsible again. It makes me think she doesn't really care about them.
Yeah does this lady even like her grandchildren? Sleeping while she's supposed to be babysitting, and forgetting them in a car? She should never be allowed to be in charge of a child again
My therapist would have never given me that advice, she tells me to say no to my mom for much less and that I shouldnât have to forgive everything. Who is this therapist!!!
Maybe talk therapy isn't everyone's jam. And I mean the therapist specifically. Damn. Spot on with boundaries. Maybe let grandma have a plant to take care of.
Iâm not saying I support violence, but I would understand if the mom wasnât upset with her mother only - Iâd be unbearably upset with that therapist who used the vulnerability of their clinical relationship to help kill her other kid through negligence when there was a history of lethal negligence
Sounds like the therapist played the odds thinking chances were insanely small that a grandmother wouldnât accidentally kill ANOTHER grandchild. I mean, in her defense, thatâs a very safe bet 99 out of 100 times.
As for the grandma, I feel like if I was her I would be forever devastated and feel guilty about the first child. I would however go to therapy and try to better myself and still try to be in my childâs life as much as they would have me considering what happenedâŚ
After the second kid died I would just find the nearest handgun and walk into the backyard and blow my brains out. Theres no coming back from that. Thereâs no excuse for that. I couldnât live with it personally.
Another comment said she went to lunch with friends, left her in the car on the way back. I'm guessing the grandfather didn't go.
If I was babysitting my 2nd grandchild for the first time you bet I'd stay at home where the risk is minimal, not even leave the room, even if I hadn't managed to kill grandchild #1.
i baby sat my newphew for the first time, I don't have kids. My brother and his wife needed a night to themselves.
I sat my ass on that couch (he was like a 1 year old) and just put pixar movies on and surfed my phone while holding him. I had to change a diaper. That was an experience. I wouldn't of even dreamed of fucking going to the next room without him in my vision, i had to go to the bathroom and brought him with me in his little carrier outside the door so i could see him.
I was taking no fucking chances. I feel so bad for the mother and father, something is seriously wrong with the grandmother.
The fact that she was entertaining her other daughter and her other grandchild in the house while the baby was dying in the car makes me feel that way, too.
I know it's not the same at all but semi related, my elderly dad's therapist recommended we get a third dog for him. To keep him company. Mind you, he can barely walk and has a host of medical issues, and my husband and I would end up doing all the care. But he takes her word as gospel and long story short, now we have 3 dogs to care for and he and the dog didn't even bond at all. Therapists can be as dangerous as they are helpful. Drives me nuts how they're seen as the end all be all to problems sometimes.
Therapists can be as dangerous as they are helpful.
Jodi Hildebrandt was a deranged mental health counselor who ran a counseling business for years that deliberately broke up marriages and families for money. it only stopped after she and her partner went to prison for physically abusing her partner's kids.
If a therapist says a third dog is necessary âto keep X companyâ despite knowing I already have two, that therapist needs to start laying money down.Â
If you're a therapist and you think that this break in the relationship between them is causing your patient stress, you can have them work on that, but under no circumstance should you recommend letting the person who neglected your patient's kid to death get a second chance with their new kid. That's just irresponsible.
My mom didn't fuck up anywhere near that bad, and my therapist has still supported me just being pissed at my mom for some of the fucked up shit she did.
I am not a therapist, but I have been to a lot of therapy. If the situation with your parent is an ongoing source of stress, the therapist will recommend you deal with it. If the situation with your parent is just some shit they did in the past, they'll acknowledge your feelings, and if it's legitimate shit, they may even back you up.
If the parent killed your patient's kid, you don't tell the patient to offer them another one. Even if they don't kill the second one, it's still going to stir up a lot of feelings, and probably not for the best.
Wtf what?? Iâm a therapist and if my client expressed reluctance to have someone watch their kid- especially after they caused the death of another child- Iâd be validating the shit out of that decision. No fucking way am I urging people to have any unwanted contact with people like that. Itâs shocking and absolutely heartbreaking
My FIL tripped over a shoe holding our nephew and fell into the wall. Hit it with his back so baby was fine. Refused to hold nephew or our son (born like 2 months later) standing up ever again. Bc he cared. Like a normal grandfather.
We had a rule that everyone had to pass our babies back and forth while sitting down, to reduce the risk of harm from accidental drops. Everyone complied without complaint, except for my father who took it as a challenge of his ability rather than a safety measure that my wife and I also followed.
Incidentally, when I was a kid, I saw a young woman drop a baby on my grandmother's porch. Accidents happen. Everyone drops things. I'd rather it not be my baby, and if it is - I'd rather it be a few inches rather than 3 or 4 feet.
When we hung out with our friends who drank a fair amount of, we wouldnât let anyone hold the baby. Seems obvious right? Well, someone else let this drunk lady hold their baby. She fell while walking with the baby, fell on the baby. She wasnât a small person. It was sad. But it proved the point.
I knew someone that wasn't so lucky, tripped on the stairs holding their grandchild and the infant died. Like your scenario i'd classify those as an accident, falling asleep or forgetting a child is negligence.
From the body cam video the granddad was working on the property and didn't know that his wife was watching the baby. Both Mom and Grandma should have made sure that the condition was being met. It's terrible to hear that her therapist urged this
I don't think she had the empathy to not to trust herself. In the body cam footage, her main focus was on how SHE couldn't go through this again. Not how this child suffered, but how it is going to affect her. Granted, she's been living with guilt from the first incident for about a year so that was probably a bottled emotion surfacing.
Can you imagine being a son/daughter in-law? You're barely able to stomach the pain of the first, and your spouse decides one day to leave your surviving child with this... sad excuse.
I'd crash out catastrophically. I'd lose all humanity.
Even if it was 100% an unforeseeable accident and we all agreed I still would not let any relative take care of my kids after a child died from an accident in their care.
That too honestly. If I was babysitting a family member's kid, even if it was like a literal act of god like a fucking meteor struck them down in the front yard I'd be like "yeah you really need to find other people to watch your kids just in case it's somehow me that's the problem."
I read into this case when it happened because as a mom, Iâm like how could you leave another baby with her again.
The mom was encouraged by her therapist to allow her mother to watch her new baby in order to move on and forgive her and also was told not to read the details arrest documents.
If she had, she wouldâve known her mom was on all types of medications that were not disclosed to her prior to the court case. The more I read, the more terrible I felt for the mom. Who was lied to about her moms health by her family, her therapist told her to start to trust her mom in order to heal, the police didnât make her aware of the details around her childâs passing, etc. It really is heartbreaking and the grandparents were not forthcoming about the circumstances and lied to the parents which led to negligence and this unbelievable tragedy
I hate this narrative that in order to heal you have to forgive the person who hurt you. Because you absolutely don't. Do you know how much better it is to never see, forgive, or hear from that person again? rather than invite them back into my life, always wondering when they'll hurt me again.
I hate it so much, and my mom is all about it. But she was raised pretty terribly, and because of this forgiveness mindset she's been in 10s of abusive relationships and keeps forgiving them.
There's an old saying in Tennessee â I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee â that says, fool me once, shame on⌠shame on you. Fool me â you can't get fooled again
I spent my teens hating this dude for the shit he was enabling his vp and other puppet masters to do, but like he was kind of good at sports though. Probably has the best opening pitch Iâve ever seen.Â
We're at the point in the storyline where the once-villian becomes an ally and almost loved character in the fight against a greater evil.
Edit: I'm enjoying watching everyone get their panties in a twist. Obviously I'm making a loose comparison to where stories / shows need a 'greater evil', once the main evil is destroyed / pacified to keep the story running. I did not imply in any way that I like the man, want him in politics, or would invite him to a birthday party.
This was understood at the time. The Daily Show was very popular at the time.
But bush was always awkward when he tried to be relatable. Responding to questions of international terrorism and then saying, âwatch this driveâ stands up there, along with the farmer bob cosplay on his Texas ranch. The shame on me thing is just one of many examples of where he just couldnât get there.
The only reason he was president was because his opponent was like a black hole for charisma. So compared to that he looked good. And lots of people fell for the fake folksy schtick- it sort of worked because he actually is kind of a dumbass.
To be fair, (and i hate bush), I understand how this happened.
He was about to say "Shame on me" on live TV, but then correctly realized that the soundbite of him saying "shame on me" would be used for nonstop TV political ads.
But one day I had smoked, accidentally left the front door open (we have two dogs), and had gone to play video games or something for an hour or so.
The dogs literally never even moved from their beds, but the panic and self-hate I felt when I thought that my dumbass had lost both our dogs just because I wanted to get baked and kill some zombies was enough for me to quit cold turkey lol.
i feel you. like i'm forgetful as fuck due to adhd and one time i didn't close the door properly when me and my wife went on a walk came back to all three of the cats having gotten out. I panicked so hard thankfully they were all in the yard and only the most adventerous lil fuck had gone out of it and came chirpin back from the neighbors upon calling him. But damn yeah... I became so rigid and obsessed about looking at my feet firmly closing doors, i'd practice the goddamn ritual made passing the gate a "barrier check". always making sure i heard the door close fully before stepping more than a few steps into the yard or driveway.
the reasonable human response to caregiving mistakes that endanger vulnerable beings is to alter our behavior ensure we don't repeat them. or to no longer be in a position of being able to commit those mistakes.
I don't know the situation, but as an alcoholic who's been in recovery for over a decade, this sounds like a substance abuse problem. These kinds of "who does that" kind of scenarios were commonplace for me. Fortunately they never involved anything more serious than falling asleep with a pot on the stove or returning a video to a different Blockbuster store than the one I rented it at.
returning a video to a different Blockbuster store than the one I rented it at.
If this is indication of substance abuse, I had a terrible problem when I was 13. In my defense, there were 3 different Blockbusters in a 10 mile radius of my house growing up.
I watched the body cam and interrogation. This woman was only worried about how people would respond to her killing a second grandchild. Zero remorse only self serving crap.Â
My wife watched the bodycam of this and I saw some of it. The motherâs cries are harrowing. If I remember rightly she was in treatment for the trauma from the first childâs death and it was her therapist that suggested to allow the grandma to look after the younger child. I donât know how Iâd be able to live after that. Your own mother killing both kids, your therapist pushing you to allow her access to the second one. Fuck that.
Absolutely not. As a therapist I genuinely cannot fathom giving this type of advice. It doesn't make any sense to me that letting her mom watch another one of her kids would be therapeutic for her. Maybe lots of family counseling, but I cannot wrap my head around telling a grieving mother to leave her other child with the same woman who let her first child die.
I'd have a thing or two to show that fucking therapist, oh my fucking god how I feel for the parents. I'm a dad myself to a 3.5 year old and a soon to be 10 month old. There's a pretty good reason I'd never trust my own mom to take care of them alone.
This lady was my 4th grade math teacher, 1999 or so.
This behavior from her was very unusual... she was perfectly normal if not fantastic as a teacher, gave everyone in the class personal attention and was always super positive and energetic about what she did. She would also occasionally read books to the class and I remember her acting out all the parts in the story and always getting really into it. But my mom, another retired teacher in the same district who's often in contact with peers thinks that Nix suffered from some kind of cognitive decline in retirement because she would often forget things, sometimes going completely blank on her whole day, and other erratic behavior.
I moved out of Wauchula FL a long time ago, so after hearing both sides of the story as it's developed over the years from afar I have no idea what really happened nor am I commenting on whos telling the truth: just that the whole situation is very, very unusual, and finding it crazy to see one of my teachers in the news. At the very least, something compells me to want to deny that she would have done this on purpose twice.
I think they dived well-into it in the court proceedings but I think she was on a number of prescriptions? Having a grandparent who suffered from Alzheimer's it's why I can't help but hold at least a glimmer of sympathy for her, though of course I feel for the whole family.
I'll say that of course I don't know her family personally or a ton about her personal life, so it's possible she was a different person outside school but that would have been quite the thing to hide. I know that often times cognitive decline can come with personality and behavioral shifts that can be quite extreme, and after the first child died she could have become even more unstable.
I mean...... Not exactly comparable but. My mother is a nurse. She's been a nurse my whole life. I used to go to work with her as a kid (like picked up after school and doing homework there as she pulled a shift etc) Everyone loved her, she was so sweet caring and compassionate, patients would talk to me and tell me how lovely or how special my mom was or how she was their favorite nurse etc etc.
She's also the same woman who hung me upside down by my ankles and whipped me with an electrical cord when I was 7 for wasting her perfume. This is the same woman who dressed me in mini-me outfits until I was like 14 and refused to let me make autonomous choices about my body until I was physically out of her range of control. The same woman who bodyslammed me as an anorexic teenager for making a face in response to something she said. Same woman who hit me in the face with a pitcher so hard I nearly stumbled down a flight of stairs because I said something she deemed religiously offensive like "vegetarianism isn't exactly in the bible". She demonstrates such severe patterns of narcissistic personality disorder on top of her abusive behaviors that even my therapist has said "look I can't diagnose your mother but like....this is textbook".
So yeah. Rarely do you know who people are just by seeing them in one context or another.
Oh totally, and other than some misc field trips or whatever I've never been around her when she wasn't working.
Though, her own daughter would likely have known if she was abusive or unstable to that degree, especially after the first accident, and according to Kayla's own FB post she did want to trust her.
Who really knows but it's just overall really sad.
Cognitive decline is definitely the easiest/most likely answer. Early dementia/cognitive decline is often easily covered up, or excused as old-age. If it's fronto-temporal dementia then the decline is usually less "even" than in other types of dementia, so a person may still have their full vocabulary and typical memory for their age but completely forget how to operate appliances, or drive a car. Â
As someone who is still taking care of my MIL with Alzheimerâs, I agree this is very likely the reason. Especially after reading what an amazing teacher she had been previously and that her colleagues had noticed a memory issue.
Families are often in denial and people with dementia are very good at hiding it until they can no longer. My MIL was driving and teaching college level corses for nearly a decade after a psychiatric evaluation noted a bad memory. We found this out much later in her papers after we had to move in and care for her. Even then some of her long distance friends that she phoned regularly had no idea anything was off at the very same time we kept catching her outside with no pants on.
Wow, that must have been so unsettling to come across. Thank you for sharing your story and giving some background on this woman. Makes a little more sense on why the parents would ever give her a second chance to begin with. Tragic.
This is just reinforcing what others are saying, that she could have early dementia or some kind of neurological problem going on. People with early dementia can be functional most of the time but have "episodes" that don't even look that crazy, i.e they are driving and totally lose track of what they were doing and need to basically "abort the mission" and go back home or worse get directions back home. They almost never tell their kids this happened because of the fear of being committed to a retirement home against their will etc.
We'll see what comes from this after investigation because who knows at this point but either way it's worth having a conversation about. We gotta normalize having conversations with aging parents to make it safe to share if changes in ability occur, you can reassure them that nothing sudden would happen and that there are many in-between independent living phases between getting assistance or moving into a "seniors neighborhood / apartment / community" vs fulltime intense memory care (which is what everyone assumes is the default for retirement homes).
EDIT: Also yes people, not only does dementia cover "screw ups" it also includes personality changes, especially irritability and bizarre tantrums. It's a combination of loss of adult level problem solving ability and the understandable very real frustration with your body not keeping up with you independently anymore. In fact a lot of the reason toddlers have tantrums is likely the same, overwhelming frustration with not being able to fully understand or problem solve a scenario, because the brain is too young instead of too old. The difference is that toddlers traditionally have people close by to bring stability whereas in our current culture a lot of our elders are living alone (or with another elder) far too long.
My FIL dozed off with my 5 month old in his arms.
I asked him to quickly hold my son while I answered the door for the HVAC guy and updated him on the issue.
In those 30 seconds he managed to fall asleep sitting in his chair and drop my son directly on his head.
I heard the loud thump and immediately knew what happened. I literally teleported over to where they were and found him scurrying trying quickly grab my son off the ground as he let out a huge blood curling cry.
He immediately resorted to lying and blurting out excuses. It took every ounce of me to not snap his head off.
However lesson learned. Heâs no longer allowed to hold any of our children without supervision. He lost that privilege the moment he lied and did not apologize. Some grandparents just arenât fit to watch grandchildren, if even for a brief moment.
My mom was using a wheelchair to get around when my first baby was born. He was a brand new newborn. I asked her if she wanted to hold him while I took a nap on the couch and she agreed. I explicitly told her âwake me up if he needs anything; do not try to carry him around in your wheelchair.â She agreed.
My eyes snapped open shortly into my nap to find her sneakily scooting the wheelchair past the couch with my new born baby balanced on a pillow in her lap.
the disrespect is ASTOUNDING. if im watching someone's baby, and the parent directly asks me not to do something, im not doing it. doesn't matter if I think it's fine. doesn't matter if the parent is watching or not. it's really not that hard to respect someone's parental authority! im glad you caught her doing that, and that the baby was ok
Grandparents, especially grandmothers are terrible at following instructions given by their children when it comes to their grandchildren. When/if they get caught disregarding explicit instructions, out come the excuses, such as "well, you survived!", or the ever famous "back in my day....".
When my daughter was 3, I was going out to hang out with friends for the first time without my kid, and my parents were going to babysit for me. Right before I left, I saw my dad was letting her play with the balls off the pool table and I asked him not to let her play with them because she could hurt herself.
I didn't even get 5 minutes away and my mom calls me and I can hear my child wailing in the background- I broke several laws to get back to the house as fast as my car could go. My dad had let her not only play with the pool balls, but let her play with them above her face while she was laying down. She dropped one on her mouth and her bottom front teeth went all the way through the skin just below her bottom lip.
Honestly, I myself am lucky to have survived childhood. I played with hammers and nails, played in a snake infested creek, had a swing set on the side of a mountain with a slide that would launch me down a steep hill and into a lake if I didn't manage to stop myself at the end, was left in the care of strangers on numerous occasions...
Ugh...yeah...I saw the EWU Bodycam footage of that and holy fuck, it was heart breaking. I hope she gets tossed in prison and forgotten about just like she forgot about her two grandkids.
I dont want to watch it but am curious as the footage has been mentioned so many times. Could you summarise it a little for me? I could google it i know, but as a new mother I dont want to ruin my day - just understand
It just starts off as a standard call, a tragic accident, the infant left in the car, she's perished and it's obvious. That alone is heartbreaking, but when the daughter comes and finds out and her husband, it just gets destroyed even more...her mother watched her grandson (the daughter's oldest child) a while ago, and he drowned in the pond because the mother was asleep. It was seen as a tragic misfortunate accident then, but even then, the daughter was leery about the her mother's ability.
She refused for a long time to let her mother watch her daughter. I forget the exact circumstances of what happened, but the daughter allowed her to take the granddaughter after a lot of pleading, setting up very hard boundaries. And the granddaughter died again in the grandmother's care, this time, left in the car in the heat for hours.
The police began to pivot from accidental negligence to outright homicidal malice. Granted, that finding is still up for the jury to decide, police suspicion is that no one could be this thoughtless unintentionally.
Different circumstances, but it reminded me of a story of a woman with 2 or 3 children who died young. Investigators concluded that they died due to some "death gene" (with no scientific basis).
It wasn't until the woman (who was white) adopted a black child, and he died all of a sudden, that law enforcement actually investigated her and came to the conclusion that she had killed each child.
I'm not claiming that this woman killed her grandchildren. But I certainly wouldn't be surprised.
Weirdly enough, there was also a case where the opposite happened. Woman was arrested after all four of her children died in infancy.
After 20 years in prison it was found that 2 of the children had genetic heart problems that lead to their deaths and the other 2 where likely the same. She was released in 2023
I had a lot of sympathy for this old lady but something is going on. She literally begs to be forgiven and allowed to watch her grandchild and the girl dies at the first opportunity? You would think sheâd be extra careful since sheâs essentially on probation right now.
If I were her, mother or not, I'd have probably beat her to death. I don't know how she couldn't, she literally destroyed her life twice, this is not something you can get over.
There's a body cam video online of the 2nd time and the mother's screams are so primal and devastating. The father is just in absolute shock that this could happen twice.
Iirc, the infant was left in the car on a very hot day for hours. They said she probably was dead after the first 15 minutes
The video of the mother of the kiddos was one of the hardest things I've ever listened to. I have a terrible relationship with my family and have tried many times to forgive and move forward. The guilt is real. I can't even begin to imagine what it took for her to even allow her mother to see beautiful Uriel.
Protip: just because your grandma is doing crosswords like a pro, vividly remembers her highschool colleagues and teachers, and is able to keep sharp conversation about her professional field, does not mean she is capable of remembering what she ate 1 hour ago. Short term and working memory is what goes first.
It was pretty terrible. I saw the body cam footage of when the cops showed up, and all this woman talked about was how âsheâ felt and how âsheâ couldnât face her daughter. She wanted to leave in her car and let the cops deal with it.
She didnât want to, but your mom is you mom I guess? I think she demanded the grandfather be near at all times or something like that. The fact that it happened again is so fucking dark
I try not to get into copslop, but this one got me. The screams from the mother are harrowing. What made me angry is Tracey Nix still wants her daughter to basically get over it so they can be a family again.
She managed to slime her way out of the big charges and got 5 years - only after the second and last child died in the hot car. She's still seeking appeal on that and has only been in a year or so.Â
I should trust this monster with my child, that is bad parenting.
like she has proven herself to be physically and mentally incapable of handling children. This waste of oxygen never should have been trusted to handel a Toddler with supervision and especially not alone.
At that point (in the second case at least), some negligence of the parents contributed to the childâs death.
If you're like ; you're quite harsh she's elderly.
If anything I'm not harsh enough read this part ;
When handing down Nixâs sentence, the judge noted her lack of remorse, saying she showed âsorrow.
Nix told a detective that after she drove home from lunch with friends, she âjust forgotâ about the baby in the backseat of her Lexus SUV. It wasnât until one of her grandsons arrived that âall of a suddenâ it âcame across her headâ that Uriel had been in the SUV all afternoon.
I should trust this monster with my child, that is bad parenting.
If I recall, the mother of the drowned boy was going to therapy for all this (obviously!), and the therapist suggested - as a way to move past the incident, and begin healing/forgiving her mother- that she let her mom watch the granddaughter. Like a trust-building exercise.
which kinda makes the whole thing even more fucked up.
Seriously, some therapists bring their own biases to therapy and do inappropriate things. One common example are children of narcissists where the therapist is a narcissist as well and tries to talk them out of going no contact even though that's what is best for the patient.
100%. I get the forgiving angle. That is often helpful in moving on from traumatic experiences. But we don't have to let her watch the new baby unsupervised to do that.
Edit: after some googling, there is no proof the therapist told the mother to let Tracey watch Uriel unspupervised. What the therapist said was to let Tracey spend time with the new baby. Maybe the mother took that to mean let Tracey babysit. However, I would not interpret what the therapist said in that way.
It was also under the agreement that the grandfather be present so she even tried to set up a level of extra saftey there. I dont blame the poor mother at all. If youve heard her screams you know she is punished enough.
Yeah, to make it even worse the daughter was pregnant with the second child when the first died. The body cam footage of officers telling her her daughter (the 2nd of the babies to pass) had died in the grandmother's care made me nauseated, honestly. She talks about how her son's death caused so much stress she nearly lost her pregnancy, and she had to make a choice between saving one baby or getting justice for the other.
Couldnât the trust-building exercise happen a few years later when sheâs had some swim lessons, can unbuckle her own car seat, and knows how to dial 911?
She's also 67, not 90. I realize that in some cases early onset dementia can be happening already by that point, but I would not expect a typical 67 year old to be so addled that they can't remember there was a baby in the car.
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