I had similar issues as to the person that you are responding to this so this case hits close to home. after giving birth to my second child. I had a really bad postpartum depression, and there was one night I considered ending my life and that my children. My baby was only two months old and my oldest two years old. We were driving home from the park and I cannot stop sobbing, and I thought if I just turned my wheel onto oncoming traffic, this misery will end for me and my children I pulled over and I so uncontrollably or what seemed hours. Things got worse from there. My doctor said it was normal to have the baby blues. It took an intervention from my family out of state. I was with family 24 seven for six months and on medication to finally start feeling better ironically, I ended up getting really sick and almost died from pancreatitis, gallbladder issues, and liver failure due to the hormones.
About a year later, I got pregnant again and I lost the pregnancy at 16 weeks, faced postpartum depression and it made me absolutely hate my oldest child. I was not allowed to be near him because of how much anger I had towards him. It was not an easy road, and it felt very lonely. It was very lonely.
Before children, I only suffered from anxiety have never been anti, high depression, medications, or have any mental health issues. I can tell you one thing, though the person that I was doing my pregnancy is not someone I recognize.
Obviously, this is not an easy subject to discuss, and it needs to be very vulnerable but I think part of the issue is that it’s such a taboo, subject and mother suffering our chastised further
Edit. Sorry for the poor grammar speech to text as I was walking and very emotional.
Thank you so much for sharing this. One good thing to come out of this whole trial is that so many people are openly speaking about their struggles instead of hiding it and pretending that having a baby is all sunshine and rainbows
I think we have a wonderful relationship. He told me last week he never wants to move out lol he’s 16 or if he does he plans on buying a home near me. He hugs me every day. Even when he’s in trouble.
He was 2 so I’m not sure if it made an impact. He does not remember.
When he was born I did not connect with him immediately . I felt nothing. Another issue that isn’t discussed or is a taboo. Every mother is expected to automatically love and be enamored with their children and feel connected, but that’s not necessarily the truth for every mother
I’m going to add that’s it’s been work to build a relationship based on trust, and respect. I didn’t have good parents. I had abusive controlling parents and had zero good role models. I am not perfect but I am quick to apologize and I tell them how proud I am every day and how much I love them.
They are honest, kind, funny, compassionate even when I am not the best parent or person. They show me what empathy and strength is. I am the luckiest mom on earth.
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u/Bitter-insides Sep 04 '26 edited Sep 05 '26
I had similar issues as to the person that you are responding to this so this case hits close to home. after giving birth to my second child. I had a really bad postpartum depression, and there was one night I considered ending my life and that my children. My baby was only two months old and my oldest two years old. We were driving home from the park and I cannot stop sobbing, and I thought if I just turned my wheel onto oncoming traffic, this misery will end for me and my children I pulled over and I so uncontrollably or what seemed hours. Things got worse from there. My doctor said it was normal to have the baby blues. It took an intervention from my family out of state. I was with family 24 seven for six months and on medication to finally start feeling better ironically, I ended up getting really sick and almost died from pancreatitis, gallbladder issues, and liver failure due to the hormones.
About a year later, I got pregnant again and I lost the pregnancy at 16 weeks, faced postpartum depression and it made me absolutely hate my oldest child. I was not allowed to be near him because of how much anger I had towards him. It was not an easy road, and it felt very lonely. It was very lonely.
Before children, I only suffered from anxiety have never been anti, high depression, medications, or have any mental health issues. I can tell you one thing, though the person that I was doing my pregnancy is not someone I recognize.
Obviously, this is not an easy subject to discuss, and it needs to be very vulnerable but I think part of the issue is that it’s such a taboo, subject and mother suffering our chastised further
Edit. Sorry for the poor grammar speech to text as I was walking and very emotional.