r/STEMcelgrippysockjail • u/h0m1c1d3_8unn13 • Jun 25 '26
Passed my certification exam and now everything feels weird!!
I got a 100%. I’m so insanely proud of myself and still kinda in shock. Blurring out any possibly identifiable info bc I’d die if one of my classmates recognized the screenshot lmao. Now I feel like I’m in limbo fr. Praying to the gods of modern medicine that I can land a job somewhere. And then after that I’ll be praying I can keep said job! Feeling so burnt out and dysfunctional after all that. Was putting on my big boy pants (scrubs) and now the mask has fallen and I’m back to my old regressed mind. I feel like 3 toddlers in a trench coat sometimes… Anyways though.. finally, FINALLY I have a new psychiatrist and she immediately after reviewing my list of symptoms was like “yeah this smells like autism and adhd” and omg I’ve never felt so validated. I’m about to be 23 and I’m hoping that I will FINALLY be understood. She said I’m “high-functioning” (controversial term I think?) and I think this is why I’ve gone under everyone in my family’s radar. Like “she’s good at school she couldn’t be autistic!” When that’s like one of the only things I can be good at lmao! Anyways I really hope an accurate diagnosis list is in my near future and I’m very excited. Very anxious about other things I won’t go into out of fear of revealing too much personal info and I’m trying to actually make irl friends now that I’m not isolating myself 24/7 and the fear and paranoia i experience over my reddit account possibly being discovered is IMMEASURABLE. whatever tho hi fellow stem girlies ( i feel like i can actually say that now lol!) pls manifest i get a job that doesnt suck my soul from my body!! If anyone has tips on dealing with burnout while trying to manage adult life plz lmk I am NOT figuring it out, just internalizing everything until I go braindead, recover, and start over again lol. Bonus points if you are audhd i need info from the experts in this field
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u/creeper6530 Jul 23 '26
Yeah the release after you finish the Big Exam feels weird. My classmate's brother went a bit crazy after graduation and randomly started painting the walls of their flat (not an euphemism, took a bucket and a paint brush)
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u/h0m1c1d3_8unn13 Jul 24 '26
Yeah I get that tbh. I started playing roblox 24/7 so lowkey painting the walls would probably be a better way to spend my time
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u/h0m1c1d3_8unn13 Jun 25 '26
Forgive me for being but a humble certificate holder. I hope to one day have the confidence to start an actual degree. I’ve gone my whole life thinking I’d never see a day of college but my frontal lobe has started really chugging on development and I’m starting to actually plan a future for myself instead of assuming I’ll be dead!