tldr: I really want to get bridge mathematical gaps after struggling in high school after seeing how it can be applied, stuck with many holes in my algebraic knowledge and would like any recommendations for this specific dilemma. Thank you!

I'm currently starting my bachelors degree in Computer Science, I have a deep love for games and want to dabble behind the scenes with game engines, 3D graphics and such. I'm well aware mathematics play a large role in this topic such as calculus and linear algebra for the algorithms and physics of certain mechanics.

My excitement has intertwined with fear due to my previous experiences in high school so long ago, especially with my overall disinterest of it general math back then that's caused gaps, I barely survived it in high school. Now that I actually have something to apply and learn math for, it excites me, but I feel slightly discouraged and not good enough for it.. especially haven’t fully grasped algebra concepts well. I also really struggled to take math notes!

Granted, I've realized I had a learning disability when I first started college, which makes a lot of sense as I can name so many points in my education where I would simply just zone out, but it doesn’t make me feel better about myself. I now have a few motivators; I want to heal the inner child in me and take control of my education after years of being frustrated from looking at my math homework. Im seeing math in such a different light when it is applicable, implementing cool, game physics mechanics looks really exciting. And of course.. to get my degree haha. Any recommendations would be appreciated! I could have searched this up, but I wanted to gather some anecdotal experience from others on here, especially if any of you have an experience similar to mine. :)

I wanna improve at my mathematics and genuinely understand the science behind it. At first I thought that my foundations of math was above average but after taking a scholarship test today and bombing it, I then realized how far I am at math. The topics of the scholarship was mathematics and ESAS and I genuinely only answered like a total of 11 questions at most over 30 and it shattered my self understanding of math. I don't consider myself to be dumb at math because I have high grades on my senior highschool so I only reviewed the past topics I know and didn't really prepare for a problem solving type of math because I thought that the scholarship exam would only cover my knowledge only senior high level math, now I realize that my last school didn't really teach me to understand math. I realized I only know math I don't really understand it. That scholarship was supposed to help me and my family's financial situation but I can't do anything about it anymore, I just wanna be better at math and science because I'm currently studying BS in Electrical Engineering and wanna improve myself so when an opportunity arises again I can prepare.

Generally, my friends think I am good at math. But I think I am bad at it, even when I get good grades, it feels like 'by luck' to me. MY confidence is really dropping. It's quite evident that I am not necessarily bad at math. This was my performance last year:

92%, 80%, 94%, 45%, 65%, 96%

And this is my performance this year:

96%, 81.333%

Today I attended another exam- and this is the most important of all. And this is where I messed up badly. I'm estimating 60-70% this time. I needed at least 80% to keep my grades intact, but now it got harder for me.

I keep failing to solve several of the problems, and seeing my friends effortlessly solve the problems, For more context, I secured top 13% in last exam this year, and previous years grades placed me in 99th percentile (all subjects).

I got 45% and 65% in 2 tests last year, due to lackage in geometry and vector-so after that, I fully mastered those chapters. But in geometry (coordinate), I still keep messing up known formulas when applying, and plus-minus of course.

My main weakness is time management, anxiety and nervousness I think which worsens my natural performance. Amongst the disliked chapters are- Trigonometry (Quadrant equation solving), Coordinate Geometry (Reason stated).

Please advise me what I can do to overcome these issues and be better at math, confidently.