r/MarriedAtFirstSight • u/bdog2975 • 7d ago
Season 20 - Seattle I feel like people are letting Nikki off too lightly for being a terrible person
I want to preface this by saying that this is not a defense of Shawn. He was a terrible partner and a terrible person. Behaving so badly on a reality show that your real life employer fires you should make you look in the mirror. But his faults have been talked about ad nauseum.
I feel like Shawn's terribleness is letting people gloss over how horrible Nikki was too. She was argumentative, nasty, and hardly ever took accountability for her faults. From the get go, she seemed to have no issue embarrassing him publicly. I feel like Shawn's humiliation at the alter is undersold. Imagine standing in front of all those people and having your soon-to-be wife verbally overlook you like that. Everybody there would have known why. I don't remember her ever apologizing for that because I'm sure he felt like shit when it happened. She can claim that it was because of the way he was dressed but I guarantee that if 6'3 attractive guy was standing at that altar in the same fit, there would have been no confusion.
She also came into the first group dinner with completely legitimate grievances but it seems like she wanted to express them in a way that would humiliate Shawn as much as possible. Her opening statement sounded like something out of Real Housewives. Shawn played that situation well by letting her talk without interrupting because I think the nastiness of her words really hit and superseded what she was saying. That's why the group didn't back her up and was quick to come to Shawn's defense when she mentioned height. The height comment wasn't even bad but at that point they'd been listening to this woman shit on this guy uninterrupted for God knows how long. Similarly the Decision Day speech was planned for maximum humiliation and when Shawn dished it back to her she was caught off guard and they immediately started chirping back and forth.
She can't take out what she dishes. The "Seattle 10, NY 7" is another perfect example. When Shawn explained the context of her grabbing his belly and saying "Look at you", it made a lot more sense why he'd snipe back at her. What really got me is the fact that Nikki didn't even remember doing that. She claimed during that reunion that the comment isn't in her character but no one watching the show would be surprised if she said that. Like you can casually shit on someone's appearance and completely flush it from your mind without a second thought but want to start a riot when someone says something about you.
Nikki was mean and shallow and if Shawn was a nicer person, we'd be talking about her in the same breath as Courteney. If anything she's lucky Shawn's such a POS because it's letting her fly under the radar.
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u/bitchesbybedtime 1d ago
I swear yall just want to hate black women. It doesn’t matter what we do or don’t do, you’ll find a reason to vilify us. And it’s genuinely so crazy how you can’t see it and if we try to point it out we’re just “crazy Nikki fans.”
Nikki is not in the same league AT ALL as that white trash piece of crap, maga Barbie Courtney. She’s just not. No ifs, ands, or buts.
There is no “what if Shaun were nicer…?”
Shaun wasn’t nice. He was an ass. What we saw was Nikki handling it with as much grace as she could and she treated him far better than Courtney treated Nick.
You’re literally trying to tear Nikki down for things that didn’t happen. She also is getting trash talked on this sub as bad as Courtney. What’s crazy though is that if she actually WAS as bad as Courtney she would have lost her job. Like Shaun. But she didn’t. Because she’s not.
🙄
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u/welphellothere01 2h ago
Please stop. You can’t be serious. She was a horrible person. It is why she is single and why she will continue to be single.
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u/bdog2975 1d ago edited 1d ago
Get that BS out of here. Belle is also a black woman. Why aren't people going in on her if we're just trying to vilify black women. Like I said, no one is making excuses for Shawn. He sucks. But that doesn't excuse the fact that Nikki sucked too. Shawn's behavior does not excuse Nikki. Otherwise it would have been ok for Nick to be a POS because of how Courtney treated him.
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u/Limp-Professional823 1d ago
Bc Belle was extremely passive and let people run over her for the most part. Most of the time she got vilified it was when she spoke up for herself.
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u/AccomplishedBend766 1d ago
You’re maybe missing something, if you think that what we saw was as bad as Courtney. But, knock yourself out by pretending it was.
Wonder why Courtney was never called to task btw….
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u/Golden_Lafayette 12h ago
Lmao man you can never scrutinize Nikki on here without people bringing up others it’s comical
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u/AccomplishedBend766 5h ago
So true… especially since the OP brought up others… and when there’s a glaring discrepancy in how various people are treated for very different behaviors. Lmbo
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u/Passing2022 2d ago
Yall still on this? move on
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u/Golden_Lafayette 12h ago
Lmao who are you to tell people what they can or can’t say??? This is Reddit, move off the post if you don’t wanna see anything about it.
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u/KitchenLow1614 2d ago
I found Nikki to be shallow and pretentious. Her interactions with Shawn aside, I just didn’t like her as a person from what was shown on the show.
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u/colormeslowly 2d ago
The only issue I had with her is that she said she was sapiosexual and if that was the case his looks wouldn’t have mattered. Otherwise she was paired with an incompatible man.
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u/Charming-Fig-3866 1d ago
To be fair, she explained herself after the fact on that. I can see how someone can say that without it meaning she’s only attracted to intellectual/spiritual connection. She explained that she meant it to mean that she needs more than just physical attraction. A guy could fit her physical preferences but if there was no intellectual compatibility, it’d be a no for her. I get that 💯. I also think it was why she tried so hard- on paper he should have been a match for her intellectually but he wasn’t what he presented and she couldn’t get past that. I do not blame her and she is not a villain.
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u/milliepilly 2d ago
I really think Nikki was confused at alter because a pastor-cal like guy was standing there and it didn’t compute. Obviously pastor cal is twice his size, but the face would have caused a short circuit in her head on such a traumatic day.
I’m not going to go back and watch the scenes you are talking about and can’t give my opinion because there is one sided information given.
Agreed the grabbing of the stomach fat would cause the response she got about being a 7.
Shawn and Nikki were both argumentative. Both asserted their psycho babble speak. For goodness sake, speak in plain English instead of deflecting with all the shit from having a soft place to land to how you give and receive shit.
Shawn was constantly trying to shame her into having intimate moments. She was icked out by this. She obviously would have behaved differently if she was attracted.
She certainly is not shallow and how do you get that? Shawn was not a nice person and she in return gave it as good as received so behaving like Courtney is a non issue as she would have had a whole different marriage with a whole different person. Nothing suggests she would have behaved the same way with a normal guy.
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u/bdog2975 1d ago
The Pastor Cal argument makes no sense to me. I haven't seen every season of the show but when has Pastor Cal ever officiated or even been at one of the weddings? Even Nikki hasn't made that argument. She claimed that she thought there'd be a male officiant and a female officiant but even that sounds like BS because when has that ever happened?
As far as her being shallow, it's not because of her lack of attraction to Shawn. That is what it is. It's moreso how she harped on it ("dad bod without kids", grabbing his belly). But maybe that's not the best term.
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u/herroyalsadness 19h ago
I thought he was pastor cal at a glance too. You see a familiar looking face and it’s confusing.
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u/Golden_Lafayette 12h ago
You can’t act like she didn’t embarrass him at their wedding though regardless of if she was joking or not but clearly she was and you can tell by the faces she was making and the shit she was saying to her friends at the wedding lol
She embarrassed him in front of his family and etc like say what you want about him being a weirdo (which he is) but she’s a complete asshole and people gotta see it for what it is instead of hinging her behavior off of Shawn
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u/milliepilly 8h ago
He embarrassed himself with the garter in the teeth. I had secondhand embarrassment for him.
I don’t think anyone can build up to this day, be very disappointed as to what they just married and be able to hide it. I certainly don’t think they should show it if at all possible, but I don’t know if I could. I would probably cry.
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u/Golden_Lafayette 1h ago
I get what you’re saying but let’s take the time and context of the actually show/reception for a second. I understand that Nikki probably felt unfortunately disappointed about who she got matched up with in that moment. Forget the fact that he had garter in his teeth at that moment lol. Nikki’s reaction was predicated on she didn’t get what she asked for but in all irony, she is a big reason why she got matched up with Shawn to begin with. A lot of people who love Nikki on this subreddit HATE when this is brought up but she is the same one who mentioned herself being a sapiosexual and she didn’t prioritize looks the way that she should’ve when she spoke to the experts. I’m doing a rewatch and clearly you can tell the judges hinged their match off of professionalism, intelligence, MONEY (like she said) & someone who can provide for her.
Yes she said she wanted someone she’s attracted to like anyone would but she dumbed that down once she mentioned the sapiosexual comment. That being said, her reaction is why Shawn felt like shit at the wedding even though he tried to play it off. You can say Nikki was disappointed but that doesn’t mean you take it out on someone else in that moment because it wasn’t Shawn’s fault they got matched. She embarrassed him mightily no matter how you slice it.
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u/milliepilly 1d ago
No one said Pastor Cal officiated a wedding. Picture this: someone is on the show, extremely nervous is putting it lightly, getting married, walks down aisle and there is a guy standing at the alter who has a face that very much resembles Pastor Cal. Your brain short circuits, wondering why Pastor Cal is standing there and it is making no sense but she blurts out where is her groom because she thinks the guy is Pastor Cal.
Yes, I agree the references to Shawn’s body should have been kept to herself. Yes that was mean. When guys on the show hint that their bride’s physique is less than attractive, they get admonished. I don’t think that preferring a body comparable to her own fit bod is shallow though. People are allowed to want a fit body, just keep it yourself if at all possible and don’t let anyone feel bad about themself.
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u/Itsbananako 1d ago
Bruh I’ve watched MAFS for a long time and even I thought that dude looked like a pastor cal… let alone she’s probably nervous/anxious/excited/etc so it wasn’t clicking that this temu pastor cal was her ACTUAL match 😂
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u/PurecountryburgerYUM 2d ago edited 10h ago
Remember she made fun of his height too at a group dinner.
Edit: I was wrong, I looked into it and she was not making fun of his height.
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u/colormeslowly 2d ago
You should watch that scene again. She didn’t make fun of his height, she commented on what he said.
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u/SinceWayLastMay 7d ago
I think if Nikki had been paired with a nice reasonable guy we’d be talking about her with Caitlin and Courtney as the problematic women of the season. Unfortunately for all of us, her included, she got paired with Shawn who was just awful and made her look better in contrast. I agree that Nikki showed some pretty concerning behavior of her own but it all pales in comparison to Shawn. It would be interesting to see her on another season or another show
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u/SilkCitySista 7d ago
Finally! A few ppl who agree that Nikki ain’t all that and a bag of chips! LOL 😂 I didn’t care for her from the very beginning and her behavior throughout only confirmed my initial impression. Just commenting on Nikki and leaving the good dr out of it here since I posted when their season was current. 🫤
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u/Golden_Lafayette 7d ago
The reason why they do that is because Nikki has a whole bunch of delusional fans on here who will defend her because she was in a situation with another shitty person in Shawn. It’s hilarious. Nikki clearly isn’t a nice person at all but if you tell Nikki defenders that, they’ll attack you personally or think you’re Shawn. They have a weird hive mindset.
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u/DazzlingSkin4431 7d ago
Agree! Nikki was not nice and knew right off the bat he was not for her! Should have opted out then!
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u/Weird_Boysenberry772 7d ago
Sean was a sex pest from the first night on. Nikki had every right to act how she did. She behaved a lot better than I would've. I would've blown a gasket when he talked about wifely duties.
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u/Golden_Lafayette 7d ago
Okay I got to ask, why is it that people can’t scrutinize Nikki without Shawn being brought up? It’s like someone who has mental health issues and they bring up mental health issues to justify their bad behavior.
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u/Weird_Boysenberry772 7d ago
She seemed to be reacting to him. Duhr
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u/Golden_Lafayette 7d ago
You not really smart if you justifying everything she does based off Shawn. “Duhr”
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u/MajestyMay 7d ago
They aren’t gonna like this…
This crown seems to be pro the “least terrible” person of the pair 😂😂. I’ve gotten so many downvotes in here, it’s not even funny.
Nikki, to me, seems like she was extremely concerned with her image (understandable to an extent). She seems like she can really ham it up when no one is watching. She also seems like she has a side that is absolutely condescending and will tear you down. I think her an Shawn did a lot on bantering, but he was villainized via the edits (yes, he sucks).
They both could use some really good therapy; and they would probably be really awesome people. Once I found out they were both Leo’s, I already knew what it was haha.
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u/gaymerkev97 7d ago
I hate that she stayed with him just to make it to decision day. She was leading him on bad. He always seemed to think there was actual hope in that relationship while behind the scenes we all knew what was coming. She even got sexual at the end just to shut up the experts and the group who finally brought up that she refused to do anything physically intimate with him. I swear her whole goal was just to make it through every episode, as if there was a prize at the end.
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u/MystriaMazin 7d ago
I'm so glad you pointed it out 💯 I always felt Nikki was equally as bad in the marriage as Shawn, but never got called out on her behavior because Shawn went over the top with the sex stuff. IMO she was always looking for ways to belittle and emasculate Shawn, even when they were getting along 🙄
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u/MajestyMay 7d ago
Yep. I honestly didn’t find anything terribly wrong with the sex talk. That’s what people do and are supposed to do in relationship. The other couples were having sex, but no one was shown talking about it. Which is worse? I’d much rather discuss it first, have it, then discuss again. The audience was more offended than she was. I, personally, believe they were talking about it off camera as well. It’s quite healthy to have sex talks. He seemed to be trying to get clear by doing check ins in what she would be open to. There’s nothing wrong with that.
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u/newdiyscared 7d ago
I think Nikki thought Shawn was Pastor Cal from previous seasons. They look very similar. Idk why she wouldn't admit that😅.
Also, as I remember it Nikki's final speech was balanced, I remember Shawn going low, then her following suit.
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u/Bookish_Bek89 7d ago
I think Nikki genuinely thought Shawn was the pastor when she walked up to the altar.
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u/Key-Negotiation-9978 1d ago
Couldn't agree more!