A friend and I were planning a trip… we are both males. He’s straight, I am gay. During our planning, he said that he would cover everything and I would just have to pay for the food (completely fine). However, I would sleep on the floor because he doesn’t want to share a bed. His reasoning: because I am gay.

I understand not wanting to share a bed, but to say that it’s bc I am gay bothers me.

Am I wrong to think that it implies that I would do something sexual to him in his sleep? I feel a bit sickened that he would think of me in this way, and although he did not explicitly say that, I can’t help but think in this way.

I mean, I have no problem sleeping on the floor…I’ve done it before with family due to being poor etc. but this hits different. And I’m sad that people possibly think in this way.

Yes I’m gay, but I’m also not like… flamboyant. My friends say I am “straight-passing” so I’m not the stereotype either. Tho idk if that would make this situation any different.

Anyway, if I’m wrong for thinking this then I’ll have to figure out how to cope and manage these feelings. But my mind just can’t help but create a distorted reason.

EDIT: I am not asking about additional bedding. I’ve been to hotels before, I know there’s additional bedding. My concern is regarding his comment without me saying anything about sleeping in the same bed.

sadly im a virgin.........

First of all, I’ll say that I’m a bear myself. I’ve always been a big guy, even since I was young, and I’ve always known I was gay and liked other big men a lot. I also love to cook, and I especially love my boyfriend of 6 years. And I tend to show my love in a way that’s easy for me, and pleasing to him: cooking his favorite foods and deserts. He’s always over the moon when I cook for him, and he always talks about how the stuff I cook or bake is delicious and I’ll always make enough for plenty of leftovers. (It helps that he grew up very very sheltered, so he likes basically everything I cook, even if I think I could have done better.)

For reference my Boyfriend has always been much slimmer than me, but taller. But in recent years, and especially in this past year I’ve noticed him gaining some weight. Very noticeably. And I’m conflicted.

I love my BF, and I loved him even despite him not being my favorite body type. So on the one hand I’m excited at the prospect of him getting even more attractive in my eyes. But as a big guy myself, I know that there’s a lot of health concerns with that, and it can be very very hard on your body. So I really don’t want to actively encourage this.

I’ve spoken to him about this off and on throughout the year, and he seems rather neutral towards the whole thing. Like I said, I’m conflicted. I’ll often find myself reminding him that he doesn’t have to eat all the food I cook, and that leftovers are fine. He’ll nod and say he understands, but then usually go and eat another helping anyways.

On the one hand, as a big man myself, I never liked people policing my eating habits before, and I don’t want to put that kind of negativity on the man I love. But on the other hand I don’t want to actively encourage him to do anything bad for his health, and I’m not sure if my cooking and baking is contributing to that. Any advice, fellas?

Hey guys! 😊 I’d love to hear something positive. What’s one thing you love about being gay, or something that helped you feel more comfortable with yourself?

Hey bros! I am a closeted gay young man who is looking for tips on surviving the high school boys locker room.

I've never really had any issues up until now but I am starting a swimming course for PE. The locker room is more open than the regular gym and also has those dreaded communal showers that we are expected to use after getting out of the pool. I just don't know how I'm going to be able to contain myself around all the other guys in the shower.

Plus, I know the guy I have a crush on (he's actually straight) will be in the class. I want to try to be near him but know I can't flirt too much...also should I get new underwear to replace my current tighty whities??

I'm NOT complaining. I'm asking. Some of the subs I belong to seem to be dominated by posts in the 19-25 age range. There's nothing wrong with that age. I turned 54 this year. A 25 year old guy started chatting with me recently and I was rather surprised. It was an enjoyable chat. He was asking advice on various things from an "older man's" perspective. Conversations like that one don't often happen. We've chatted a few times since but it's short. I believe he's found someone. Great for him, though!

I am not going to say I don't find younger gay men attractive. I do, but pretty much all of my LGBTQIA+ friends are about my age. I don't know that I have really anything in common with someone that much younger than myself. I think what started this thought process was that recently, I did meet someone close to my age. We had hit it off and chatted regularly. Then he ghosted me. It happens. I thought I'd finally just ask if else felt this way at times? It's not all the time. Thanks.

Quiero compartir mi experiencia siendo gay, porque siento que vivir en una sociedad donde todavía existe tanta homofobia es terrible. Y, sinceramente, a veces pienso que la palabra fobia ni siquiera debería utilizarse para describir este odio, porque no se trata simplemente de un miedo, sino de un rechazo hacia personas que lo único que hacemos es amar.

Es horrible que, por ser gay, tengas que soportar comentarios despectivos, miradas incómodas e insultos. Cuando estoy con mi pareja, muchas veces recibimos miradas de rechazo y comentarios ofensivos, y odio tener que vivir con eso. ¿Por qué dos hombres que se aman tienen que ser juzgados? ¿Por qué existe tanta presión social para que amemos a una mujer, como si nuestra orientación sexual fuera algo que pudiéramos elegir para complacer a los demás? ¿Por qué el amor entre dos hombres sigue siendo considerado algo malo por tantas personas?

Lo que más me duele es saber que apenas tengo 16 años y ya tengo que enfrentarme a estas situaciones. Subo un vídeo o una foto compartiendo momentos con mi novio y aparecen comentarios negativos, como si amar a alguien y querer compartir nuestra felicidad con el mundo fuera motivo de vergüenza. No entiendo por qué nuestra relación genera tanto rechazo cuando nosotros no le estamos haciendo daño a nadie.

También siento que gran parte de ese rechazo viene de hombres heterosexuales que parecen sentirse con el derecho de juzgarnos, insultarnos o despreciarnos simplemente por ser quienes somos. Me resulta repugnante que alguien pueda odiar a otra persona por amar de una manera diferente a la suya. No necesitamos que todos comprendan nuestras relaciones, pero sí merecemos respeto.

Además, me preocupa el panorama político y social de Colombia, especialmente cuando veo discursos o comentarios que considero contrarios a nuestros derechos y encuentro a tantas personas apoyándolos. Todo esto me hace pensar en lo vulnerables que podemos llegar a ser. Me da miedo ser gay, no porque haya algo malo en mí, sino porque sé que existen personas capaces de hacernos daño e incluso de quitarnos la vida por nuestra orientación sexual.

Y esa es una de las cosas más injustas de todo esto: tener miedo de demostrar amor. Tener que pensarlo dos veces antes de tomar de la mano a tu pareja en público, darle un beso o publicar una fotografía juntos. Tener que esconder algo tan bonito como el amor para evitar las burlas, los insultos o las miradas de personas que ni siquiera forman parte de nuestra vida.

¿Por qué tenemos que ocultar nuestra felicidad para que otras personas se sientan cómodas? ¿Por qué nuestra libertad debe terminar donde comienza la incomodidad de alguien más?

Yo no quiero vivir en una sociedad donde tenga que esconder a la persona que amo para sentirme seguro. Quiero poder caminar de la mano con mi novio sin miedo, publicar nuestras fotos sin prepararme para leer comentarios llenos de odio y vivir mi juventud sin sentir que mi existencia es un problema para los demás.

Ser gay no debería dar miedo. Lo que debería darnos miedo es vivir en una sociedad donde alguien puede odiarte, discriminarte o hacerte daño simplemente por amar.

No estoy pidiendo privilegios ni un trato especial. Estoy pidiendo algo tan básico como poder amar, existir y ser feliz sin tener que disculparme por ello. Porque mi relación no necesita la aprobación de todo el mundo, pero sí merece el mismo respeto que cualquier otra.

Y, sobre todo, no quiero que ningún otro joven tenga que crecer sintiendo vergüenza o miedo de ser quien es. Merecemos vivir, amar y disfrutar nuestra juventud sin tener que escondernos para que los demás estén contentos.

So there's this guy I've met on grindr kinda cool and allat problem is I'm fucking brand new to this shit always was interested in men yeah but never really got the opportunity to do anything before I moved out since my parents used to be homophobic af and now I'm in this position where this guy wants me to suck his cock tomorrow and when I just tried to test my gag reflex with the back of a toothbrush I straight up barfed just fucking vomited without a gag even popping up Soo I'm kinda just curious how I can yknow not vomit all over my boyfriend's cock tomorrow as he supposedly wants to fuck me too which leaves me with the problem of finding out how to fucking douche properly but that's kinda not worrying me as much as the gag reflex situation so could y'all kinda help me out please

I’ve accepted my identity for a while now and I officially came out irl a couple days ago. At the same time though, I’m just not sure how to feel about being this way. I don’t know anyone who’s ace irl, and I don’t know how I’m going to find a relationship this way. I know that asexuals are rare, and homoromantic/biromantic/panromantic ace guys are even rarer. I don’t know how I’m going to find myself a partner when I know that my asexuality is a dealbreaker for 99% of the population. What am I even supposed to do? Does anyone have any tips or advice?

I’m 20, So I don’t know what else to title it besides that, basically I’m on the apps and most of them besides scruff don’t have men I’m attracted to. Then I got out in person or see other non dating sights and do see guys who are my type so I know they are out there. Could just be ‘cause of the dating apps have a horrible algorithm to make you buy premium.

I guess apart of this is a vent ‘cause I wish I had the chances and opportunities to met people in person, living in a more desolate area is very lonely and hard, doesn’t help I’m not old enough to head to some gay bars that would be a few hours away.

The other part is, how do you feel comfortable out in public? Like that’s one of those things that scares be about meeting publicly, just other folks.

Ex (26M) broke up with me (25M) a few weeks ago - my first ever breakup from a committed relationship. We dated for over a year, he constantly told me he loved me, even up until our last moments together, and then he told me that he wanted to be single and couldn’t commit anymore.

I’m a big boy with a belly, and he made me feel loved and desired for the first time in my life. Learned from a friend that he’s already on Scruff (and he told me he had downloaded Tinder with blank profiles in the last few months of us dating, which obviously shattered my trust in him). It hurts so badly to see the person you loved more than anything move on, looking for the same things on a dating app that you once gave them. I thought that I was actually doing semi-well with processing the breakup up until I learned about his profile. How do you cope when you treated someone with the utmost kindness, only to be left behind? How do you not feel worthless and discarded, especially when you’ve struggled to feel genuinely loved for your whole life?

I’m still early in my career but most of my life has been trying to be financially responsible. Iv said no to a lot of things like private school, new car, moving out, vacations etc to save money or to invest. How do you feel about this. I kinda don’t want to inherit someone’s bad decisions or shortsightedness. If they were able to spend irresponsibly why should I share my savings.

I'm a 19 year old gay guy and i've never had sex. i feel like all my friends, gay and straight, men and women, are hooking up all the time and are having so much fun at university, while i am stuck and frustrated by the total absence of my sexual life. i am pretty good looking because i'm really tall and have a nice face, i'm not jacked but not a "twink" either. but i still can't seem to get any action whatsoever. people never approach me in bars to flirt having ulterior motives, nobody seems to show interest in me romantically. i feel like i'm missing out on this essential part of being young... i guess i compare myself with others a lot but i really do want to test it out and have spontaneous casual sex. maybe i'm just not that approachable because i have a resting bitch face? maybe hooking up and casual isn't really my thing, but then how do i know if i never get to experiment? to be fair i never approach anybody either but then how do i know if they're gay and interested without being the "weird guy that tried to flirt with me last night".

should i keep hoping that my situation will change or just accept that i'm gonna be a virgin until i'm 30 and make peace with it?

idk, maybe i'm just fishing for validation but this shit really frustrates me and idk how to make peace with it

Hello everything, I am a nervous wreck in public but I would like people, cough guys cough, to approach me. I've been told I have a resting bitch face, I'm just stressing. How can I be more approachable? Do I need to do the gay stare thing?

Also on the flip side how can I approach someone? I know I can always shoot my shot blindly but I'm low key worried about triggering a homophobe, they are sensitive, how can I know who to approach?

Hey everyone, I'd like to share something with you.

I (30) met a guy (26) through an app, and we started texting intensely every single day. We added each other on different platforms, exchanged phone numbers, and honestly, I had an incredible connection with him through our conversations.

He described himself as a hopeless romantic and said he would love to have a husband someday. He really opened up to me and let me see a very vulnerable side of him. I've never met anyone who communicates the way he does, and as a gay man from the Balkans, I find that kind of openness about feelings quite unusual.

He used to tell me that I always left him speechless whenever I texted him, and that I was beautiful both inside and out. We teased each other, sang to each other through voice messages, and recorded videos for one another. He would vent to me about his job, and I encouraged him to hang in there. We had a lot of common interests and understood each other really well.

At one point, he told me that there was a flower inside him that had withered, and that he had no doubt I would water it and bring it back to life.

We were also very sexually attracted to each other, and at some point, we started talking about possibly meeting in person.

The last time we talked was on Saturday, and everything seemed completely normal. I texted him on Sunday and started getting worried because he wasn't responding. We had a routine of wishing each other good morning and good night every day, so his sudden silence felt unusual. I know he enjoys drinking from time to time, and I genuinely started worrying that something might have happened to him. I mean, of course I was going to worry. But there was absolutely no sign of him.

He had deactivated the app where we first met a few days before he disappeared. I didn't want to overwhelm him with messages because I thought he might be focused on starting his new job, and I didn't want to distract him. But now it's been more than a week, and I still haven't heard a single word from him.

I feel absolutely awful about being ghosted, mainly because, through talking to him, I rediscovered that romantic side of myself that I thought I'd buried a long time ago. I'd buried it for a reason: I've been hurt so many times before, and somehow, I'm always the one who ends up getting hurt. After everything I've been through, it's difficult to keep putting myself out there and allowing myself to be who I really am.

I'm sad because I still think he's a wonderful person. He's sweet and kind, but he once admitted to me that he sometimes struggles to find the right words. Okay, I get that, but I just don't understand how someone can suddenly stop reaching out after having conversations like the ones we had, especially when he literally told me, "I've always wanted someone like you."

I would never do that to someone, and I honestly think it's awful.

At one point, while we were texting, we both said that we hated being ghosted. I honestly wouldn't have had a problem with it if he'd simply told me, "I'm sorry, but I'd like to end contact." We could have talked about it, and I would have respected his decision. Especially because our conversations weren't superficial at all. If anything, they were incredibly intense and meaningful.

Yesterday, I sent him a poem I'd written for him, and I've decided to move on.

Maybe this sounds silly, but I just needed to get this off my chest. I've been feeling awful for days, constantly overthinking everything, and I honestly don't understand why this is happening to me.

I'm curious to hear what you think about my situation.

Why can't you find anyone who wants monogamy in this community? It's almost as if the men are incapable of it. It's all about hooking up and casual encounters. I hate that the community is hyper sexual and only cares about hooking up. It's like gay men feel like they can't participate in anything "heteronormative" like monogamy and must be SOOOOO different and deviate from it and then those who don't want to hookup and don't want to be this extravagant, hyper sexual person are shamed by others. I'm so sick and tired of every guy only wanting s*x. I'm starting to see why hardcore feminists hate men. They really are whoever's worst creation.

How do I get a crossdresser Who can do nice makeup wear sexy panties, a wig, and be feminine

as a gay man, am I weird for the fact that I'm extremely turned on by bisexual MMF porn ? I personally am not into women but I get really turned on by the idea of a man fucking me, knowing that his dick been inside of a woman, but I personally myself am not into women. And I know that I myself would never wanna try an MMF threesome IRL, but why am I still so turned on by the porn videos of it even though I'm not attracted to any type of women IRL as well ?

hey bros. I'm 19 and definitely not new to sex in a general sense, however I have never done anal (I'm trans ftm , just never thought of it until my current partner asked to try it) anyone who could point me in the direction of how to keep everything as clean as possible - I'm aware things happen and some can't be helped (and obviously protection will be used) but is there certain things I'm missing here. This is my first time with another guy, I feel really silly writing this but I guess you don't know unless you ask and I didn't want to be fed some bad info. 😅

Anyone have any advice or insight on coming out to friends that aren't in the LGBT space? I'm 30M and haven't been in a relationship, and want to get out there and start meeting guys.

I'm not really into the apps and don't think they're for me, so want to get out and meet people in person. I haven't come out to anyone except my family, and think it might be good to come out to friends. have a bit of a fear of being seen in a gay bar and on my own, without telling anyone that I'm gay. It would just be hard to do on my own, having no support.

My friends from back home in rural town are all straight males and they're not the worst for making jokes about gay people and I am 90% sure they would be accepting, but I'm not sure how to tell them or anything.

I don't think they would join me in a gay bar really but it is starting to get to me that I'm doing all of this on my own,

Anyone have advice on building up the courage to come out, but most importantly do it confidently and stick with it

Alright, I’ll expose my thirsty app use.

After the Russian data centers were attacked by Ukraine, far fewer bots on Grindr and Sniffies.

I'm getting out of a 6 year monogamous relationship.But I was certainly tramping it up in college. I feel like so many guys are having all this casual sex with people. Almost like it's a recreational activity and that seems really fun and hot.

I just don't get how people aren't so stressed about getting STIs or herpes or something.

It's a big anxiety for me and also isn't it also reality? It's really keeping me from having a good time. Have any of y'all dealt with this?