When to rehome a dog.

[u/Rob838383]

Looking for some thoughts here. We have 2 dogs currently. Both around 8 y/o. A shepherd mix and a lab/mastiff mix. Both have been a part of our family for years. They are like brother/sister. Both around 85-95lbs. They can be around other dogs without a problem-we board them when we travel and they look forward to it as they get doggie daycare everyday. Out with the other dogs in the play area for hours. Recently we took in a 6 y/o female boxer mix that was a rescue dog. There was abuse in her past-not sure what kind. The owner that took her in from shelter a few years ago treated her well-but passed away suddenly. His neighbor stepped up and helped to rehome her, and hence we came into the picture. Went thru meet and greets with our 2, and they went great!
Not quite 2 months later, we have had 4 rough times. Spent about $4k in ER vet hospital bills, among other things. Our 2 big dogs love to wrestle outside and play rough with each other. That has triggered the rescue dog “Trina”, and both those times she went after our female shepherd-who was on top of our lab as she looked the aggressor in their play fighting. Our shepherd being 2x her size defended herself and didn’t go well for Trina. Multiple wounds that have been stitched. My wife broke up 1 skirmish when I was gone, and got accidentally bit trying to pull them apart. Each time the shepherd look so remorseful towards her afterwards. Licking her ear, putting a paw in her back, etc. the worst 1 happened today. Have to go back to vet hospital and pick Trina up from the scrap that happened today. Crazy thing is, I showed the Vet a photo of the shepherd and Trina laying on a bed in the living room next to each other for hours just yesterday! 95% of the time there is never a problem-but that 5% we just don’t know. We just hired a trainer that works with reaction dogs and have only had 1 session so far. We just spent $400 on 2 E collars.
Just wondering whether we need to look at rehoming Trina ourselves-to protect her and even our Shepherd. I know this is a long post-my apologies, and a lot to unpack. Just wanted to provide as much info as possible. We weren’t ready to give up on her after the first couple of times, but not sure that it wouldn’t be for the best now.

[u/NoPomegranate451]

My questions are rehome her to where and what did the trainer say?

Is the neighbor you got her from willing to take her back? Do you have a friend or family member that can take her? She might even be able live with other dogs that don't play at the same level as your two. I'd 100% disclose her behavior but rehoming in those cases feels like a sound decision.

There are a lot of unwanted dogs looking for homes, Shelters/rescues and posting her randomly on the web become much more of a wild card. When you add her behavior to some of possible risks in going this route proceed with caution.

I had a friend spend $4,000 on training and still ended up rehoming the dog she brought in. In that case it was two females that couldn't co-exist. The trainer probably never should have taken her money. Your situation seems much more manageable. If you can ensure Trina isn't going to be a hall monitor when play starts they sound like they're getting along otherwise.

[u/Rob838383 → u/NoPomegranate451]

Yes, the other 90% of the time is wonderful. We made some schedule adjustments as for as potty times and feeding times-especially feeding times when all the dogs energy levels get ramped up-so now we make their food in advance to limit the amped up energy time before their bowls are put down, and Trina eats in separate area. Those are things we can control.
No family members. And the person that helped rehome her could not keep her, otherwise he would have since he knew her for the 2 years his neighbor had her. He has 2 dogs already (males) and his landlord will not allow a 3rd. Any rehoming we definitely will be full disclosure. And we will not be rehoming her just anywhere. We have info from 1 nurse at the vet hospital of someone that could be interested, and my wife reached out to friends that we know that they just had to put their Senior nicer to sleep a few months back. They are not ready but may know someone. We are not gonna rush but we need to be cognizant of potential issues while also thinking about how fair this is to our Shepherd and what she is going thru emotionally both during these scuffles and after.

[u/throwawaymarzipat]

This is an intense situation, and I don't know enough to help with most of it. I will say, though, that electronic collars or other aversive methods will only make things worse in the long run. There's more info in the sub wiki.

If the trainer you hired was the one who recommended electronic collars, please look for a different trainer.

[u/Eastern-Try-6207 → u/throwawaymarzipat]

No they won't. They can absolutely be a game changer if done correctly and that is the key!

[u/lilac_spells]

I will second the idea of not punishing your dogs with collars for being exposed to your new dog. - and I’m pro e collar if the case calls for it- something you should know is dogs don’t forgive. They never forget the fear and pain. The fighting will probably get worse as it has already happened multiple times.

I would rehome / return. No fault of your new addition. Lots of female on female dogs fight and it seems you had an established pack and usually I suggest to people if they want k add to an established pack they need to add a puppy - I am not a professional it’s just my experience.

[u/Rob838383 → u/lilac_spells]

I have never been a fan of the collars that do a full shock to a dog- these are supposed to be a tone and vibration-with various levels- to teach redirection. But I see your point. We just hit the collars yesterday and have not started with them yet.

[u/kbug11235813]

Definitely re-home the rescue. This isn't fair to your original dogs. It is too many big dogs having to compete with each other, and the e-collars are not being used fairly here. Sorry to be blunt, genuinely trying to help. 

[u/Rob838383 → u/kbug11235813]

I understand- we haven’t started the e collar training yet since we just got them delivered yesterday. It seems like we have to weigh out the more trauma of having the rescue go thru another potential new environment against her safety here and how it is effecting our shepherd-who even as I am typing this response is looking so sad right now.

[u/kbug11235813 → u/Rob838383]

I'm sorry you're going through this, it isn't an easy choice. I went through something similar adding a third dog to our family years ago and wish I'd made the call to rehome sooner. Maybe you can return the e-collars and save the money at least, after all the vet bills you've had. Best of luck!

[u/Powerful_Put5667]

Your new addition once the honeymoon phase is over is going to become more and more dominant over the other female. She feels that the older female was out of line and she needs to correct her. Considering the physical damage she was all ready done to the older female and the possibility of this happening again plus the risk of a bad bite to one of you I would rehome her to either a ni dog family or one with just one make.

[u/Rob838383 → u/Powerful_Put5667]

That’s one of the many aspects we are looking at. And it’s the older female shepherd that did the worse damage to the newer, smaller dog. Smaller dog got triggered, went after the shepherd that twice her size and smaller dog took the brunt of the damages.

[u/Parking_Sun4412]

Please don’t use the e-collars. They are cruel and frankly, abuse. If you’re at that point then it’s better to rehome, and I hate that option too.

[u/Rob838383 → u/Parking_Sun4412]

These are tone and vibration e collars-for redirection education. Way less intense than the lowest intensity bark collar or electric fence collar I have seen. Only reason we agreed to even check them out. We have not started any training yet with them as we only got them yesterday.

[u/Suspicious_Goat9699]

Slow introductions...

[u/Rob838383 → u/Suspicious_Goat9699]

We did. Over a period of multiple visits in a weeks time. Public first then Multiple visits in our yard.

[u/K_squashgrower → u/Rob838383]

That does not count as slow.

[u/Rob838383 → u/K_squashgrower]

We did it as slow as we could as the person that was assisting in rehoming the dog was on a clock due to his landlord not allowing him to have another dog there in addition to his 2 he already had.

[u/K_squashgrower → u/Rob838383]

Then you keep them separate from your dogs, such as in a different room. There are ways to do it that set them up for success.

[u/Rob838383 → u/K_squashgrower]

The newer rescue dog is attached to my wife at the hip. If she is fine from the house -she will go upp and down stairs looking for her and whining. If I am home I can quell some of that. But not always. When we are both gone-she flips out. Separation anxiety-barks constantly, up and down stairs, whines and howls. We picked up a crate last week and started crate training her a couple of days ago before this newest incident happened. And we can’t keep her in another room from the other dogs all day. That would mean either she would be in moms office with mom- which isn’t fair to the other 2 dogs, or she oils be by her herself during the day even tho we work from home and would scratch and tear apart the door. Ultimately the dogs will have to be around each other and the 2 females will have to get along for this to work. If it’s going to work. Just not sure how much more we can subject the newer dog and our shepherd to with this.

[u/Solpig]

My dog and her brother grew up seeing each other every weekend...they have their own games they have developed and play very rough.

OTHER dogs seeing them might think they are fighting. Twice, visiting Boy dogs went to the 'rescue' of my Girl dog and got their comeuppance from her brother. We realized that NO other dog can be around when they do their game. End of story....we stopped them whenever they did that.... They have plenty of alone time together to thump each other.

Leave the rescue indoors when they are doing their thing. Dog aren't democratic...they don't all get to be equals all the time. "Trina" clearly is the fly in the ointment, but that doesn't mean you can't keep her...just keep her away from the others when they do their thing.

[u/Rob838383 → u/Solpig]

Interesting thing is- we thought we were they only really play fought during certain times of the day-for like years. Today was a totally different time, and as my wife saw the play fighting start, she went to grab Trina and go inside- and it was too late. There have been a few other minor scraps as well,when the shepherd had been “Mother Hen(ing) Trina so to speak. She kept nosing and sniffing her wounds, and Trina would have enough, snap at the other dog, and then it started. Thankfully we were there yelling orders as it started and managed to pull them away. This is why we ordered e collars. Just got them yesterday.