I know God logically but not in my heart.

[u/InternalCar3]

I’ve come to sense that for most of my life I’ve known God logically but not in my heart. I don’t think I truly love him and don’t know how. I struggle to pray and attend mass. It’s hard to explain is it supposed to feel so forced to do this stuff? It means I don’t love him enough if I have to force myself to pray attend mass etc. I would think logically knowing God would lead me to love but it doesn’t seem like I can. When I say I know him logically is that I see how wicked and evil the world is due to their full rejection of the church and God. That convinces me God is real but I just struggle to build a personal relationship.

[u/Ozzie_Bloke]

You can try the bible in a year podcast by father Mike Schmitz, he also did catechism in a year and he explains things as he goes along.

Also try the introduction to the devout life by saint francis de sales, he has lots of tips on how to include God in your life and reduce sin.

[u/oddly_enough88]

Can I ask you, how often you read the bible? I struggled with loving someone without knowing them. Though I met Him during my prayer in desperation and easter mass. I truly learnt about Him and discovered him through daily scripture reading.

Maybe try that?

[u/InternalCar3 → u/oddly_enough88]

I definitely don’t read it enough. I feel like my brain tells me not to because I’ve heard the stories in the Bible a million times. I also don’t know where to start with reading it in a structured manner

[u/oddly_enough88 → u/InternalCar3]

Start with new testament -> the four gospels. I recommend John, Matthew, Mark then Luke read in that order. This is Jesus and the life of his ministry. As a christian I would try to power through this and perservere.

You owe it to yourself and your spiritual life to finish the race. If you arent feeling it in your heart its because you havent meet him yet, you meet the Word in the scripture. God speaks to us in the Holy scripture. When you have something on your mind and heart, if you open your bible and read it, he may speak to you through it. It worked on me as a beginner.

Once you know Jesus fully, then i would tackle the Old Testament. He is everywhere there but you wont recognise Him, until you know him fully in the NT

[u/TheSilentPilgrims]

Can I ask you something? Do you know how to pray? And how often do you do pray?

[u/InternalCar3 → u/TheSilentPilgrims]

Not really it’s just me venting to God about my problems.

[u/TheSilentPilgrims → u/InternalCar3]

Surely you want an answer to your problems. Isn't that the point of letting us know?

[u/ResistSubstantial249]

I once heard a Sister of the Visitation on a radio program say:

The Heart of Jesus is not looking for perfection, but for openness. He thirsts for your love, however small it may seem to you. Begin by speaking to him as your friend. Even just saying, "Jesus, I don't know how to love you, but I want to," consoles his heart more than we can imagine.

The Sacred Heart is wounded by love unreturned, so even the smallest act of turning towards him: an honest prayer, a moment of trust, a choice to forgive can be a balm to his Sacred Heart.

... love is not an abstract idea, it is a person.

[u/Prior-Yam-6622]

Honestly I think most people underestimate the effects of praying a rosary with heartfelt intentions. Pray the rosary and dedicate yourself to the Blessed Virgin during this Month of prayer.

[u/Odd-Base-161]

I'm in some ways the opposite. I had a religious experience that pushes me to reevaluate the legitimacy of Catholicism as a religion but I've been a staunch antitheist for nearly a decade. I truly want to believe that the Doctrines are true but find many of them to be baseless and yet feel for the first time in my life that there are entities I do not understand

[u/thegreenlorac]

I totally understand what you're saying. For a very long time, and sometimes still today, I also felt like I knew God with my head, but not my heart. I used to say that I 100% believed, but that it was like how I believed that gravity was real. An absolute truth that God existed, Christ lived and died for us, and the way to eternal life was through Him. Like an indisputable fact of nature. However, as you'd imagine, loving gravity doesn't really work. I don't think at that time in my life I ever loved Him, and rarely felt loved by Him.

I still struggle with it on occasion. I'm a very tactile person and loving someone I couldn't hug felt alien.

Going through RCIA was a big turning point for me in many ways. I'm very grateful that my teachers focused on "conversion of the heart" and not just teaching us the Catechism as pure facts and details.

Honestly, therapy also helped. I didn't plan that, but for other causes, I'd started therapy and realized I had trouble with love in general due to past trauma.

Ultimately, the biggest changes happened from small moments. Especially the ones I couldn't explain. One night in particular, I was praying and crying. Not exactly angry, but defintely expressing a lot of frustration with God and went on a tirade that ended with more crying and begging for a hug. (I know that sounds weird and a bit pathetic, but it's what I said.) I'll never forget how I felt right after that. I can't exactly explain it, but I "felt" an embrace. Like a weighted blanket draped over my shoulders and compressing my upper body. I've tried to logic it away as simply a release of adrenaline and endorphins after a long crying spell. And maybe it was. But it felt very real to me. Then again, perhaps He used my natural body's systems to make me "feel" his hug. I don't know, but I felt very loved in that moment. I try to remember it when He feels distant.

Now, on a more practical side, have you watched The Chosen by any chance? Feeling like Christ is distant and unfathomable is a common issue. It's hard to love what is distant. That show does an amazing job portraying Jesus with relatable human behavior, laughing with friends, loving his mother, being anxious and sad, and always reaching out to people with unparalleled love. It may be a fictional portrayal, but it is a wondrous visualization of Christ's real love for us.