I saw a post on beer porn where buddy was drinking a 24 oz doodoo ranger 11% IPA with a crazy fighter pilot skeleton on it that he said “burned” and it got me thinking back to the old New Belgium. I used to work at a fancy grocery store back in like 2008 and stocked the beer section. We got plenty of New Belgium stuff. The standard Abbey Trippel and Dubbel, and Fat Tire of course. But we also had the Mighty Arrow Pale Ale, Mothership Wit, Skinny Dip Lager, 2 Below in the Winter, Hoptober in October, and tons of other seasonal things that came and went.
They had a genuinely wide range of all the styles, mostly done quite tastefully and well, and all in those attractive brown glass bottles with the long neck that had a sort of raised band around it. The labels had hand painted images on them depicting pretty landscapes, bicycles, Belgian abbeys, etc. the box proudly proclaimed that the brewery was employee owned and wind powered.
What they’re doing now sucks so bad. Gas station beer for alcoholics, as far as I can tell. They seem to be shooting for the same market share as Steel Reserve, Natty Ice, or Mickey’s.
It feels almost like a societal tale. I knew them best as an employee owned, wind powered, and biodynamic Colorado brewery. They spoke to the values I was learning in my liberal arts degree at a liberal northwest university. The warm fuzzy Obama era progressive capitalism with a triple bottom line that we thought could save the world. They represented a uniquely hopeful part of beer culture too. Americans could enjoy Belgian style beers and incorporate a respect for traditional beer styles into American micro brewing, while running a brewery in a socially conscious way, and still having the beers reach lots of markets that otherwise didn’t get a lot of micros. Good beer would become universally popular, and new Belgium’s socially conscious employee run business model would prove viable.
And yet they’ve now become a lurid, neon and fluorescent lit grotesquerie of it. A 24 oz can of a skeleton in a fucking war plane, containing a cloudy and toxic smelling 11% alcohol beer that the OP admitted “burns” on the way down. It sits next to the other “micro brews” which are also all foul and overly juicy hazy IPAs. It is an alcoholic beverage that MBAs in private equity have told the brewmasters (who are probably just AI algorithms at this point) to make appealing to the young impulse consumer who wants to get drunk playing GTA 5 by himself on a Thursday night, as well as the elder millennial partially unhoused alcoholic who used to be the life of the party and a real suds connoisseur, but is sleeping under a bridge tonight. Both consumers reach into that humming gas station fridge and pull out a tall can of voodoo ranger hazy ipa, and the world is a little worse because of it.