G#mers have begun to kill the plants. Turning the leaves the color of blood and gore before they all rot away.

[u/Xetetic]

Every year, g#mers attempt to kill the world's plants. They poison the trees by watering them with the blood of the innocent. The leaves turn into the color of blood and gore, before falling off the trees. The leaves then get wet in the rain, creating a slipping hazard for innocent people simply going about their day.

However, g#mers have no follow-through. Once it gets cold, they stop going outside to poison the trees and stay inside to play video g#mes. Over the course of a few months, the poison fades away and the trees become healthy again.

A small minority of anti-g#mers believe that banning g#mes will give g#mers more time to poison the trees more successfully and kill them permanently. I believe that banning g#mes will remove the notion g#mers have to poison the trees in the first place, and convert them into good little citizens who punch in, work, punch out, sit quietly, sleep, wake up, and repeat. Just like I did, and I turned out fine.

What do you think?

- Old Gerald

[u/MikeSihl]

G#mers here in the southern hemisphere do that too, but they get started much earlier, usually around March or April. I fear they pass on their evil methods to g#mers in the northern hemisphere during the winter months. It’s the only explanation.

Regards, Grandpappy Mike

[u/Xetetic → u/MikeSihl]

Oh, g#mers have wreaked havoc on the southern hemisphere. Aside from colonialism, slavery, genocide, and labor exploitation, they also made the toilet water spin the wrong way when you flush. It's pretty sickening.

- Old Gerald

[u/da2Pakaveli]

OH MY GOSH!!! Thank you for this thorough investigations into what these evil people are up to!!

[u/Xetetic → u/da2Pakaveli]

Your welcomed. I am happy too help.

- Old Gerald

[u/punkhobo]

Some of the g*mers pee on the trees which gives it yellow leaves. Disgusting!

[u/AutoModerator → u/punkhobo]

Watch your mouth. Please remember to censor the g-word (g*me/g*mer/videog*me) properly.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/punkhobo → u/AutoModerator]

Sorry, it was my fridges automatic text corrector that changed my Facebook message

[u/Mysterious-Ganache82]

Someone should really teach them about religion so they stop their evil ways. Praise be to Yevon!

-Seymour

[u/Direct-Mix-9376 → u/Mysterious-Ganache82]

Listen every religion is wrong there are no higher power people

[u/Direct-Mix-9376]

ITS NOT GAMERS THE TREES DO THAT ON THEIR OWN

[u/AutoModerator → u/Direct-Mix-9376]

Watch your mouth. Please remember to censor the g-word (g*me/g*mer/videog*me) properly.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Direct-Mix-9376 → u/AutoModerator]

Game game game game game game game game

- sent from my Samsung galaxy S26

[u/AutoModerator → u/Direct-Mix-9376]

Watch your mouth. Please remember to censor the g-word (g*me/g*mer/videog*me) properly.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.