I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a soft or sensitive person, and I’m curious whether others can relate or have any advice.

I sometimes feel like I’m too soft for the world I live in. I have a really strong aversion to violence, aggression, meanness, and harshness of almost any kind, and lately I’ve been wondering whether this is something I need to learn to navigate better.

For some context, I really struggle with violence in movies and TV shows. Way back when, I used to occasionally watch UFC with friends, enjoy horror movies, and generally tolerate things that I now find difficult to watch. These days, the idea of watching UFC at all is near comical, the idea of drinking games is repulsive (just thinking about people suffering lol) and I often have to look away during particularly violent scenes in movies or shows. Even watching people get hurt in something like America’s Funniest Home Videos can make me physically uncomfortable.

I’m also very sensitive to loud noises. Concerts and movie theaters can feel overwhelmingly loud, and I now wear earplugs to both. I don’t enjoy being around people who are aggressive, angry, mean, or unnecessarily harsh. I can't watch reality tv (and don't want to) because it feels like unnecessary drama and unhinged-ness (why do people enjoy that?? why don't i??.) I gravitate toward things that feel gentle, peaceful, and beautiful: classic music, "quiet" spaces (think neutral colors,) ALLL the animals, pretty spaces, organization, nature, long walks, massages, and quiet natural sounds. I genuinely love happiness, beauty, and a sense of calm. I realize its not all about live, laugh, love, and I have deep relationships that have covered the gamut of divorce, infidelity, financial hardships, physical hardships, mental health, etc. I don't mind discussing and supporting friends and family in these areas whatsoever.

On top of that, I don’t avoid stories where bad things happen. I enjoy medical dramas like Grey’s Anatomy, thrillers, and shows like Jack Ryan or Paradise. I’ve also enjoyed darker stories about real-life events but stay away with that Ed Gein stuff. It’s more the graphic violence, extended fight scenes, cruelty, and certain kinds of interpersonal ugliness that I struggle with. I also find shows centered around infidelity or particularly toxic relationships uncomfortable to watch. For example, I felt a strong resistance to Euphoria when my partner watched it, even if I was only catching glimpses of it.

The thing is, I wasn’t always this sensitive. I’ve never been an aggressive or violent person, but I used to tolerate loud environments and enjoy horror movies without thinking much about it. Somewhere along the way that changed, and I don't understand why.

Where this has become particularly difficult for me is in my marriage.

My partner is a bit "rougher" around the edges than I am. Sometimes this comes through in his demeanor, tone, or the way he delivers certain comments. I can recognize that there are times when he’s genuinely too harsh or unkind, but I also wonder whether my own sensitivity plays a role in how I experience our interactions.

I don’t want to automatically assume that every uncomfortable feeling means someone else is doing something wrong. I want to be super clear I'm not out here shouting at the clouds that the world is too loud.

So I’m curious what everyone's thoughts are here:

• Are any of you naturally very soft, gentle, or sensitive to violence, aggression, loudness, or harsh personalities? How does this affect your everyday life and relationships? How do you deal!?
• Have you become more sensitive as you’ve gotten older, rather than less?
• If you’re with a partner who is more blunt, intense, or rough around the edges, how do you navigate that difference? Have you learned to become more resilient, or have you realized that certain differences in temperament are genuinely difficult to reconcile?
• How do you remain a gentle person in a world that can feel so loud, aggressive, and unkind, without becoming overwhelmed by it?

I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have experienced something similar, especially those who’ve found a healthy balance between being sensitive and being able to navigate the realities of everyday life.

*I'll note I am healthy (I workout and have great stress management, eat well, don't have any illnesses, et.c,) am happy (I run my own business which is hectic at times but overall good, have great friendships, good relationships with my family,) and educate myself continously (reading, thought-provoking conversations, individual and couples counseling.) Maybe im missing the glaringly obvious, so please feel free to point out anything I may be missing.

I am late 20’s now and for the longest time felt like male approval was extremely important to me. It was never a conscious thought, but almost subconsciously a constant concern about what men thought of me. It almost felt like an underlying insecurity that made me feel like I needed to look or act a certain way, as if I had to ask for permission for my existence. As I’m approaching 30 I’m finding that I just don’t really care about male approval when it comes to what they think of how I look or act. Not that men don’t matter, they do of course. But more like I don’t need to be under so much pressure, I can just exist. I feel crazy for even pointing this out and am not sure if any other women feel the same way or not.

Can any ladies chime in on this?

I moved to a new city last year and tried making friends through Bumble BFF. I matched with one girl who suggested we'd go to a feminist meet-up together as a first in-person meeting.

The event was great, afterwards we went for coffee together. I very quickly felt like she wasn't really interested in getting to know me. She barely asked me any questions about myself and instead talked a lot about her abstract goals and random philosophies - which is interesting, but I want to get to know you as a person, and I want to feel like you're curious about me too! Whenever I interrupted her monologue to offer some information about myself, she reacted with unsolicited advice, which I found offputting.

I knew I wouldn't want to hang out again, but still said yes when she asked to follow each other on Instagram (I didn't know how to decline in the moment). A few days later, I got a bunch of notifications. She had liked every single one of my posts and even left a bunch of comments, with one of them sounding like we had an inside joke, that I didn't even really understand. This behaviour felt off to me. I found it weird that she was so uninterested about me in person but then came on so strong in Instagram.

We saw each other again at one of the feminists' events where she repeatedly sought out conversation with me, to the extent that she asked the person next to me to swap seats with her so she could sit next to me, which bothered me because I actually enjoyed talking to that person. She then asked me about my most recent Instagram post: Me at a concert. I shared that I was a huge fan of this artist and really enjoyed their last album. She hadn't listened to it, but wanted to give it a try.

A few days later she messaged me saying the album I liked was "alright", but had I listened to this other album by that artist which actually was amazing? I said no, because that wasn't my taste, and politely said that I assumed our music tastes were quite different. She made another suggestion of someone I should listen to and at this point I thought to myself, can't remember asking you for recs! I just felt like putting something down that another person liked was such a weird opener to a text conversation. Then she shared something about this picnic she was planning for the feminist group and I ended up just not replying to her music rec or the picnic text. She never reached out again.

Was I wrong to just disappear? I thought about being honest about the fact that I didn't think we were a good match, but I thought this might be awkward since we might still see each other at the feminist events. Instead I've been avoiding the feminist events because I feel awkward about ghosting her! We live in the same area so I recently saw her out and about and didn't know how to act.

As a whole I felt like she just wanted any friend, but didn't really care about who I am as a person or the friendship we might build together. That put me off. But now I feel guilty for not being upfront about how I felt. How would you have handled this?

Tldr: I matched with another woman onf Bumble BFF and quickly found us incompatible and her behaviour towards me offputting. Instead of being honest, I just ghosted, despite us living in the same area and having loosely joined a group of acquaintances together.

It just seems like everything is getting worse and going wrong. On top of it all I have become very isolated and am struggling to get out of the isolation because my ability to trust others has been seriously damaged.

In the past I would focus on building skills, knowledge, or my career when I have felt this way. But with AI, daily news about the impending environmental collapse, inflation, political upheaval, and loss of human rights going on globally I just am finding it hard to see the point in trying anymore.

How do you keep hope alive?

Im not a creep, just a teenager. Im like 100% certain I need to wash it more often but everything online is really split with some saying every day. But thats just crazy to me. idk

Every summer my MIL and SILs go on a “girls only trip”. They’re nice people and I’m very flattered that they want to include me, but I’m fairly introverted and most of the activities/conversations are not usually things I’m at all interested in. They also make comments about our lifestyles differences that are (I think) subconscious but hurtful.

My husband is supportive if I decide not to go, but I don’t know how to get out of it without it negatively affecting my relationship with them. It’s important to me that we all get along. I do love them!

They’re happy to plan cheaper or closer trips, but the length of the trip and the activities we do aren’t really negotiable. Suggestions that I might split off to do my own thing for a bit are taken personally.

At this point it would feel like I’ve been disingenuous this whole time if I’m honest and just say that I don’t want to go because I don’t enjoy the activities we do. I also think they would feel very judged.

There are parts of these trips I do enjoy. I try to make the best of them and I’m definitely not miserable the whole time. But in a perfect world with no hurt feelings, I’d probably only go every 2/3 years.

How would you handle this? Just suck it up once a year? Suck it up and be honest? Any tips for surviving this summer’s trip that I’ve already committed to?

This sub always gives such great advice and I appreciate it so much!

This may be a bit odd, but I think I'd just love for an older, wiser woman to tell me that everything will be okay (I'm in my early 30s). I mean, I know that it will be, and it'd be nice to hear it from you too. How did you keep hope / how did things work out for you?

I don't know about anyone else but life hasn't been so easy for me the past few years. My previous life (a few years ago) was probably the happiest I’ve been my entire life. I had friends who felt like family, I had a romantic partner I thought I could build with. But life happened, as it does. Everything changed. And my heart broke. 

I know I’m never getting that life back. As I type that out I feel myself resisting that, yet, I know it’s true. I’m hopeful I can experience that type of electricity again, but it won’t be with those same people. I’m sad about that! I’m sad that these people came into my life and showed me love, and then poof.

I’m not depressed. When I watch puppies play I smile and I genuinely feel joy. When I meet someone I connect with I’m hopeful they could be the next significant person in my life. 

Though I'm not happy either. I've been patiently working on rebuilding the past few years, bit by bit, but life's been relentless. Something big hits me every year, and this year, it was job searching in the 2026 job market, which placed a total embargo on my sense of security. Still searching for a long-term position - feels like I can't catch a break.

There's still a small flame within me and I hope it keeps burning. I have no idea what's going to happen. I used to feel more excitement about that uncertainty, now I feel more fear.

I'd love to hear others' perspectives / stories about getting through a hard season in life.

I don’t know what to do. We had a baby 3 months ago. Before we had them I did a huge clean out and found a few bagfuls of new items I failed to return over the last 3 years and a few good condition items I didn’t want anymore.

Without consulting my husband I started selling on Vinted. I saw no issues with it because I wasn’t really selling for profit(some items I don’t remember what I paid). He only found out because the mail carrier forgot to grab a package and it was in our mailbox. This turned into a whole issue for him where he immediately asked if I needed money(I don’t I have access to our joint account), how many times I’ve sold, where I sold ect. Then how I’m using our address to sell from and now people have it and know we have nice things and can rob us(lol). Said I should have consulted him.

I was very caught off guard and hate confrontation so I shutdown and was like “sorry hadn’t considered the address thing I’ll stop selling”

Before all this I had decided I wanted a woolino sleep sack for the baby. It’s expensive($120) but is one size and tog so you essentially just need one until they’re 2. They have a good resale value so I thought I’d look on a resale website.

I found one NIB on vinted for $60 so I bought it. I didn’t think I needed to say anything about where it came from unless my husband asked but because of how he reacted to me selling I’m regretting the purchase and am considering not even using it. I don’t want to have a conversation about it and where it came from.

What would you do? I had reached out to the company about exchanging to a different color because it is NIB but they won’t exchange without purchaser info or tracking info.

I started my life over three years ago and I’ve worked my ass have to get from 0 to the promotion I just got. I’m so a proud of myself, I made some financial mistakes but all of it is fixable.

I’m in MA, school is totally free but I’ve been so scared to start. Every time it gets a little hard, I ignore it and I let my work take over my life. Yes, I am diagnosed ADHD, which is a big factor but I’m in therapy which helps a lot.

The industry I’m in is not the one I want to be in forever. TBH nothing ever is but this one, retail banking, is not something I want to be in long term. I’m hoping to pivot back to a creative industry but need to make myself more valuable. I’m very skilled working directly with people, leaning into relationship management and I love solving problems. The company I work for, like many others, prides itself on employees burning themselves out doing to many things. Don’t get me wrong though, this job was exactly what I needed for stability and skill growth.

Basically what I’m trying to figure out is how I can do it all?
What kind of job titles could I research to pivot out of retail banking? (Recently I was promoted to assistant branch manager)
Is strict discipline the real answer to be able to balance work and school?

I genuinely feel so isolated. I have no idea how to date and I feel incredibly behind… I’m convinced that no one would want me because I’m new to “the scene.”

It’s also weird feeling like you have no community at this age. I’m sure it’s because I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin, but idk how to get there at my age.

Ive had multiple friendships follow this cycle:

TDLR:
Clingy and needy friend. I have issue setting boundaries and then I feel horrible when I set boundaries and she freaks out. Friendship now over.

Long version:
Yes I’m aware this is a problem and I’m hoping to NOT get into this mess again.

I’ll describe the most recent one:
Reconnected with friend, she messaged me everyday. I was single at the time and not working much so I had a lot of time to message and found it fun.
Overtime I got a partner and working FT and therefore had less time to message. She continued to send me extremely long voice notes and heaps of messages. Mostly just catching up and sharing about issues with people in life but also for emotional support. I never felt I reciprocated with as many messages.

A few times, I explained I get overwhelmed by that amount of messages. She continued to send that many messages and told me I can take as long as I need to respond. I spaced out my replies. She noted I was distancing.

Despite her being well set up in life, she seemed to always be in a crisis. She has a supportive and committed partner and a well rounded life.
I offered emotional support and she did offer this to me as well but it seemed like she was at constant odds with everyone in her life and believed people were out to get her. I felt like I had to hide the goodness of the people in my life.

She did something recently to direct attention to a crisis she’s having on a day that was meant to celebrate me. She also spent most of that day also on her phone instead of socializing at said event.

During course of our friendship she alienated other friends because of being socially inappropriate. She then expressed to me she was worried these other friends got into my head and would turn me against her. (Not true, I stayed friends with her threw that)
I saw 3 friendships end because of her doing things like extreme oversharing and high volume of opinionated messages.

What’s wrong with me that I put up with this? Multiple people in my life had noted this toxic imbalanced situation and it took getting to a really bad point to end the friendship.

It ended because I explained some things she did that upset me and she sent a laundry list of why she’s basically the most perfect friend and didn’t take any accountability for her actions which hurt me.

I then gently reinforced what upset me and it sent her off into a crying spell and sending long voicenotes.

I’ve always known I don’t want kids, but one fear that has cropped up lately is wondering what my social life will be like as I get older (I’m 33 now for reference) as many of my peers will have kids and become busy with their families and have less time for friends or making new friends.

I‘m curious to hear from those who have experience with this and what it‘s been like.

Edit: This blew up more than I expected! I can't respond to everyone but appreciate all of the contributions. They really helped and gave me a lot of hope, thank you!

How common is it to not to really know one's sexuality yet in 30s or to not have a clearly defined label? (Not that there's any "normal", I should say :) anyone else share similar experiences to the following?

I (f, 34) wasn't really interested in boys in my teens unlike many of my friends, had not great experiences with men in my 20s - mostly just casual hookups but I feel like I never really got close to men romantically. I sort of kept a safe distance from them and would just say or complain to friends that i keep falling for emotionally unavailable men. I did just take heteronormativity for granted, though, even if I couldn't really see myself "settling down" or getting married (until today, in a way)

Now in my 30s I've had my share of flirting with and a few hookups with women (albeit so far no relationship and I don't think I'm fully lesbian). I feel like I vibe more with queerness although I definitely don't fully feel like I fit into that category either, or its more visible communities/cultural codes.

Now im in a relationship with a trans-man for a couple of years and very comfortable (longest relship) - and i think i'm attracted to a certain amount of gender fluidity and/or men in touch with femininity. Sometimes I look back at my life and question the trajectory: was I ever into cis men? I do think I was sexually attracted to them but unconsciously never wanted to pursue a romantic/hetero relship.

I've gotten comfortable just not categorizing things but it's strange in a world where everyone or many ppl eventually find their label or demonstrate some sort of certainty ("I am x, y, z"). I guess for me queerness is precisely this fluid way of being that can change but sometimes I feel like a queer community wouldn't see me as completely "in" either:)

Curious if others have these ambiguous feelings...:)

I used to travel for work a ton in my early 30s and loved it. I got to see my family fairly regularly (I’m in the Midwest, they’re on both coasts).

However, now that I’m 40 and have lived alone for 10 years, work a semi-demanding job and have my routine (which includes two cats and a dog), I hate that being around people exhausts me.

My siblings have families and get annoyed that I don’t come visit anymore.

Family wants me to spend Christmas with them, but they also hate that I spend so much time napping or on walks. I hate visiting and then staring at the wall or reading because they’re not as active as I am when I’m home; my days are usually overly packed as it is with just trying to keep things running smoothly.

My 95 yo grandma was sick of asking when I’d visit her so she flew out for the weekend; 48 hours in, and I’m losing my mind and exhausted. She just asked if she wasted my time being here because I’m on Reddit for the first time since she arrived.

I don’t want to be exhausted, annoyed and overwhelmed. I WANT to be excited to visit my nibblings instead of think about how inconvenient it all is.

How do you get excited to travel and spend time with people when it throws you off of your routine?

I often feel pressured to share personal information to build and maintain friendships with other women.

I’m talking about intimate details of romantic relationships, sex life, family history, finances, body image, emotional struggles, etc. I almost feels expected of me.

It’s not that anyone directly pressures me. It’s that the women around me tend to share very personal details about their lives, and I feel obligated to reciprocate.
I understand that vulnerability is important in friendships, but I struggle to find a balance between opening up and sharing more than I’m comfortable with.

I genuinely want close female friendships, but I also value my privacy. Does anyone else struggle with this? How do you build meaningful friendships without feeling like you have to share everything?

I am getting out of a 10 year relationship because of his infidelity. Previously I had a 5 year relationship that ended becaude he was emotionally abusive.

I am in therapy now and learning that I am anxious attacher and attracted avoidants. I am working through it while the divorce is ongoing and will not be dating for a lomg period.

My problem is, my previous two relationships were before the apps came along. Both were my friends who turned into something more. I am not ready to date again( till I deal with my trust issues), but how do I know when I am ready? What makea you feel you are ready to start putting yourself out there.

Hey ladies, I (30F) and my live in boyfriend (30M) decided to not have kids this year, and I feel myself drowning in grief despite being the one who ultimately made that choice.

I think my sadness is coming from the fact that I now live in the most expensive, and beautiful, city in all of Canada for the general purpose of moving back near my family. My mom decided to move across the country to retire with her husband, so I moved back to BC to be near my dad’s side, and met my now bf. Then, one by one, my dad’s side all moved away and I find myself alone. I also haven’t met a core group of friends yet (city problems) and I truthfully, don’t vibe my boyfriend’s parents. He has no other family here which he’s okay with because he sees his parents every couple days.

I miss my mom so much, and am now left here without anyone (except my lovely bf) and now that I decided I don’t want kids I feel like this picture perfect multi generational life I pictured for myself my entire 30 years of life is gone and I find myself really caught up in the grief of that. I was hoping my partners family would fill this void, but they don’t and I actually avoid them. I will not speak ill of his parents here or anywhere, but trust me, it will never be like that. They will never be my “other parents” and it feels like my heart is aching for family and there isn’t anything I can do about it. Whenever he goes to his parents for a simple breakfast I feel a burn of jealousy in my chest. We just did thanksgiving dinner with them and knowing every holiday is his family and not mine, or I spend a grand and book time off work to go see one member at a time of my own family which just isn’t financially possible right now. I’m starting to resent my once treasured holidays.

TLDR: has anyone else pictured their adult life full of family just for it to turn out really without any relatives around? How did you manage it emotionally?

I am aware this is why I'm still single at 32. I feel attraction to men that are emotionally unavailable, and have a harder time being attracted to men that are emotionally stable and available. I could go on and on about all my past experiences but that sums it up.

I want to fall in love so bad. I've never experienced real love. and now, I am realizing that falling in love with the right guy is just all I want. I've been single for a couple years now and I'm 100% okay alone. I love living alone, its pure bliss. I'm capable of life on my own and functioning by myself. But I just want love. It's my deepest desire to love someone and have them love me back. I know I deserve love. I just keep failing at finding it because I let good guys go (because I'm not attracted) and go for guys who are emotionally unavailable, don't treat me right and/or are just not interested in me.

For those who also have also had this issue... what has helped? I'm in therapy. I have been for a while.

I just cannot force feelings for someone that aren't there. It feels like settling which I refuse to do. I can't get into a relationship for someone I have no attraction to.

help lol

I am about to start working closely with someone I find extremely toxic, and I could use some advice on how to handle this professionally.

She had a very difficult childhood, which I genuinely sympathize with. However, she seems to use her past as an excuse for her behavior rather than taking accountability for how she treats people. She often talks about how she never received love growing up, and now she’s extremely attached to her son. She also seems to resent almost everyone around her, including her husband and his family, whom she constantly complains about.

I am naturally a happy, positive person, but I mostly keep to myself and mind my own business at work. For some reason, that seems to bother her. She’s made several indirect, passive aggressive comments toward me in the past, but I’ve always ignored them because I didn’t want to give her the reaction she seemed to be looking for.

The problem is that I’ll now be working with her regularly, and I’m concerned about having to deal with her negativity, personal rants, and unnecessary drama during work hours.

To complicate things, she’s close to my boss, so being confrontational or openly calling out her behavior could backfire.

My question is: How do I establish firm but subtle boundaries so our interactions remain strictly work-related? I don’t want to be rude or create tension, but I also don’t want to become her emotional dumping ground or waste my time listening to complaints about her personal life.
Has anyone dealt with someone like this? How did you keep things professional without getting dragged into their negativity?

I find it deeply unsettling, even creepy, and I genuinely don't understand why people so often treat it as a joke.

Sometimes I get the impression that the only thing stopping him from dating minors is the fact that it's illegal.

Am I being unfair in finding this disturbing, or do you see it differently?

I turn 39 this week and could use some inspiration from the 40+ girlies :)

Our first two spaces are home and work/school. Where else do you all frequent that could be considered your third space?

I've moved around a lot in my adult life. I think there have been times where, due to either working too much or living in an isolated area, I haven't had a third space. Now feels like it might be one of them, so I'd love to hear about yours and get inspired to seek one out!

When I was younger, it used to bother me when I felt like someone didn’t see the friendship in the same way as I saw the friendship, and as a result I was put in effort in an attempt for us to become closer.

I also had it with acquaintances - I would feel kinda hurt if I got lukewarm responses to my attempts to meet up, and I would keep trying with that person. 

However recently, I’ve reached a point where I kinda accept people as they are. If someone wants us to have a more distant friendship, it may sting a little but I accept that. As well as with acquaintances, if they keep turning down my attempts to hang, I kinda just think “ah, maybe they’ve got things going on, or maybe they’re not fussed about hanging out with me” and then I leave them be.

It feels kinda freeing to be this way, because at the end of the day, all we can control is ourselves. And the more we try to haggle for closeness with someone that doesn’t feel the same way, the less energy we will have in finding friendships and relationships that work for us. 

Do other people feel this way? Also, did you notice any changes since you started feeling this way? For me, I feel more calm in general.

I have a good life and a decent job. Well, a stressful job in the industry i like, that doesn't pay as well as it could be, but a supportive environment and stability that's super rare for this industry. I'm part management, so I'd been dealing with a lot of smaller stuffs blocking the team everyday and in a way, take some stress of deadlines from team members with me.

My life has been kinda fucked mentally since 2023. Lots of things happened, so much so i crashed hard in 2025, barely recovered for a month, then got into some fuckery work projects till early 2026. Still lots of pressure and late night, but things calmed down a bit. Somewhere near the end of 2025, i was so stressed and tired everyday my body hurt, i was either angry or crying a lot, but more importantly, all of my hobbies lost their joy. I used to not having enough time for all of my hobbies, but since 2025, i barely do anything and i don't find joy in them anymore. New hobbies don't take, either.

The only time I'm happy is on my trips abroad and I'd be filled with joy, a sense of wonder, freedom from any expectations, feeling like my best self, and peace. Domestic trips don't have the same effects, but they does satisfied me for a short time. Traveling is the only thing that makes me alive and excited. I yearn to be away from the responsibility with people at work, and i want to escape the dreary routine life.

I tried make daily life worth living. I went to performances, events, social gatherings. The effects last about a day. I took a week off and felt my life is so much brighter and had so many plans for the future, but the moment I'm back at work, life is dreary again. I have a long list of activities i want to try, but i can't be assed to go. I want to, but mentally i can't. In my free time, if i do personal work related project I'm stressed, if i do anything relaxing I'm stressed that i don't do the project, then i doomscrolling the whole time feeling stressed and guilty.

Now it's almost half a year from my last trip, and about that til my next trip. The travel sparkle from the old trip is fully drained and I barely drag myself through days and weeks. I'm like a zombie floating around these days, i work then i barely sleep (insomia and revenge bedtime procrastination). I have concert and events soon, but I'm not energized like i usually be. Idk what to do, i can at best go domestic travel since I'm saving for bucket list travel item next year,but idk if it can help with how low I'm these days. The only thing brings my spirit up is next year trip, but so far away.

Obviously i can't live only looking forward to the next trip, but i tried all the usual outlets and everything feels so flat and beige. And it's not like my country is lacking for travel, but i yearn for the freedom, no expectations, new places and most importantly, feeling the competent, confident, "i can deal with everything" best self i am when I'm abroad. It feels like only during the few weeks I'm away that I'm alive. The rest is a blur. Idk, i wonder if anyone has the same issue and figured it out? Ideally I'd try to find a way to move abroad (lived abroad before so no pink glasses), but that would take years.

I (35f) have a dear friend (50f) who has just made the very difficult decision to place her father in hospice care. They just discovered cancer in the last month. It is late. They started chemo. He responded terribly and there is no way they can continue treatment. This is very sudden and she's close to her dad. For further context she lost her mother about 2 years ago after a difficult battle with Alzheimer's. I give all this context to say she is losing both parents in very differently traumatic ways, too close together. She's also an only child.

We don't live close to each other. I can visit but not easily (takes about 2 hours to reach her.) I want to visit but I don't want to be intrusive or take up her time/energy. How can I best support her? I do not have much experience supporting people who are grieving and this is newer territory with the grief being imminent.