r/appletv • u/JacksBaldRake • 6h ago
Twas the night before
Twas the night before, and all through the sub, not a fanboy was sleeping, not even the mods at the pub. The remotes were placed by the TVs with care, in hopes that new hardware soon would be there.
The faithful lay restless, all tucked into bed, while visions of new Apple TVs danced in their heads. With dreams of new chips and more RAM to spare, and perhaps a new Siri with something upstairs.
The Plex crowd demanded their audio passthrough, the gamers wanted more power, and 120Hz too. The HomePod owners prayed for surround sound divine, while one guy keeps posting, “My 2017 model works fine.”
The rumor mill churned, the excitement ran high, as fanboys refreshed every website nearby. “Tomorrow’s the day!” they exclaimed with delight, “we’ve waited for YEARS! Apple HAS to get this right!”
But somewhere in Cupertino, behind a locked door, John Ternus and company may be plotting to disappoint us once more. For should morning arrive with no new little box, no upgraded processor, no shiny new box, no Wi-Fi improvements, no features to tout, then heaven help Reddit when the fanboys find out. The megathread will burn. The complaints will take flight, “APPLE HAS ABANDONED US!” they’ll scream with all their might. There’ll be forty-seven posts titled “WHAT WAS THE POINT?” And at least twelve petitions to boycott the joint. The “just buy a Shield” guy will rise from the dead, while conspiracy theories spread through every thread. The mods will demand calm, decorum, and grace, while privately screaming into pillows someplace.
Reports will pile up. The downvotes will rain. Someone will announce they’re switching to Roku again. And when all hope is lost, when the subreddit is through, Apple will quietly announce… a new HomePod mini in blue.
So here’s to tomorrow, may our dreams finally come true.
May John bless us all with an Apple TV that’s new. But if nothing gets announced, well, consider this fair warning: THIS SUBREDDIT WILL BECOME AN INTERNATIONAL EMERGENCY BY MID-MORNING.
Happy Apple TV Eve to all, and to all a good night.