Hello there, I have been sober 2 years now. In that time, I have attended AA, I went to a rehab, and that's what got me sober, I had a terrible rock bottom, I had a hospital detox and then ended up in a rehab. It was a very traumatic time.
So, some off the old timers always ask me to get a sponsor, I don't like a lot off the men in the AA I go to, so I don't think I want one

Five days sober. Small compared to many of you, but a week ago I wasn't sure Id ever write that sentence.

The nights are the hardest part… 7 PM is my danger hour, and I'm getting through it with walks and a lot of water.

For those further down the road:

1. What got you through days 5 to 10?

   1. What do you do when your brain starts negotiating?

Thank you for being here. Reading your stories this week is a big part of why I'm still sober today.

Look what God did.

I’ve taken the steps with my sponsor. I go to about 10 meetings a week. I chair a meeting on Thursday nights. I give a couple of drunks rides to meetings.

My life has changed so drastically and all I have is gratitude.

Life still gets lifey, peaks and valleys but God is doing for me what I could not do for myself. I know now that I am responsible for the way I react. One day at a time.

20 days sober today. My counsellor asked me to write an action plan for each of my triggers, so I used Claude to help. It asked me questions, I answered by voice, and it turned everything into a plan.
Then it built me a simple app for my home screen. It has an "I have a craving" button, and my triggers in my own words ("I'm bored," "Just one won't hurt"). I tap one and see "I'm going to:" with my own steps.
It doesn't replace meetings or calling someone, but it helps to have my plan in my pocket when a trigger hits.
Here's the prompt if you want to make your own:

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I'm in recovery and I want to build a personal "trigger plan" app: when I get triggered, I open it on my phone, tap the trigger, and see exactly what I'm going to do.

Please guide me through this in four phases. Don't skip ahead.

PHASE 1 – Get to know my situation
Ask me a few short questions first: what I'm recovering from, how long I've been sober or clean, whether I'm working with a counsellor or group, who I can reach out to when it's hard, and whether I already have a list of triggers (I may paste or photograph one).

PHASE 2 – Map my triggers
Interview me in rounds, 4–6 questions at a time, so I can answer by voice or in a ramble. Cover these categories:
- Places
- People
- Feelings
- Thoughts (the things my mind tells me to justify using)
- Situations
Then ask about upcoming risks: travel, holidays, family visits, work changes, big events.
Ask what has actually worked for me so far when a craving hit, and use those strategies in my plans. Notice patterns in what I say, such as what the substance was "doing" for me (reward, relief, focus, confidence), and reflect them back briefly. Don't diagnose me or lecture me.

PHASE 3 – Build my plan
Turn everything into tables by category: Trigger → Action plan. Rules:
- Write everything in the first person ("I'm bored" → "I'm going to...").
- Make actions concrete and doable in the moment.
- For thoughts, write a counter-thought I can answer back with.
- Add common triggers I may have missed, marked as (new), so I can keep or cut them.
- Include one general "I have a craving right now" plan.
Let me review and change things before moving on. For anything high-risk, like a trip alone, suggest I also talk it through with my counsellor.

PHASE 4 – Build the app
Build a single, self-contained HTML file that works as a phone web app:
- Home screen: a big "I have a craving" button at the top, then my triggers grouped by category as tappable rows.
- Tapping a trigger opens a page with the trigger as the title, "I'm going to:" and my actions, plus a back button.
- Optional: a "days sober" counter from a start date I give you.
- Very simple, calm design. Ask me what colors feel calming to me.
- Include the meta tags and a home-screen icon so it opens full screen when added to an iPhone or Android home screen. Give me the files as a zip.
Then give me simple step-by-step instructions to host it for free (for example, drag-and-drop on netlify.com with a free account) and add it to my phone's home screen from Safari or Chrome.

Important: this app supports my treatment and doesn't replace it. If at any point I tell you I'm in crisis or not safe, stop the project and help me with that first.

Wanted to share this with everyone. I went to my first men’s retreat 2 years ago with a month sober, and it changed my life. 40 men camping in cabins, we broke bread together, had meetings, and I didn’t feel alone for the first time in a long time. This was my 8th retreat in my sobriety, and I get to see guys grow. I traveled 5 hours each way to get there. So for anyone new or needing connection, find a sober men’s retreat and get vulnerable. You will end up with lifelong friends and great examples of husbands, fathers, and friends. Finding other men that are going to help you it’s gonna be helpful to them too. So that’s what I’ve experienced in my sobriety this time. I know it’s why I’m sober today. It’s because I’ve had encouragement and support. Ultimately, it’s being able to be honest open and vulnerable with another man that has changed my life.

My name is Emily. I’m an alcoholic. I’m 18. I posted on here not that long ago in about two weeks. I’m supposed to go to the eating disorder clinic. I’ve been trying to say sober since then at least I say that, but I’ve still been drinking every night I’m scared for the withdrawals. I’ll have in there and I don’t know what to do. I can’t give up this spot in there. I need this but trying to quit so hard if they find out I’m having withdrawals in there they’ll kick me out I’m so lost if anybody has any tips, please let me know. I should say two honestly I’m drunk right now. Tonight is probably one of the nights that I’ve drank in the most. I’ve finished a whole fifth of vodka plus like five shots of whiskey it’s genuinely a problem

I got a DUI earlier this year in January after i got T Boned by another car and I was impaired when it happened. I had a .286 BAC and I was 20 at the time and I am now 21 and had to get a scram ankle monitor last month for 90 days and i have just reached my first month sober. Prior to getting the monitor I was getting drunk every night and blacking out every night like clockwork maybe for the past 3-4 years. I don’t even know how to spend my days now I used to just get off work and start drinking till i knocked out or go to the bar and play pool with my ex or my friends. I can’t even remember making it home most nights and most of my friendships had been formed while i was drunk. Everything in my life consisted with drinking like if i was cooking or baking i’d be drunk, if i was watching a movie i’d be drunk, if i was cleaning i’d be drunk, and even if i was getting ready to go out i’d be drunk. I get off work now and just deep clean everyday or re organize everything basically anything to get my mind off of it. I dont think i realized how much of a problem i had prior to this and now being sober and im now realizing i had no life outside of drinking and no one when i wasn’t drinking. Yeah i just hope to keep my sobriety up even after getting the scram bracelet off

I need to know how everyone actively chooses to think of others first. I am very selfish because I put my needs above everyone else’s. I tell myself that I am doing what I am doing for my family but really all I am doing is being selfish. I have been praying about it but I haven’t quite seen the total life change. I go to meetings and I can’t stop thinking about myself. I just can’t get out of my own head. Any helpful tips would be nice. Also I only have less than 60 days sober. I am super happy to be sober and to be able to have these thoughts with a clear mind. I don’t feel I am overwhelmed with these thoughts but I do think about them.

Thank you for being here and sharing your experiences.

I recently got a sponsor and you’re right I haven’t worked the steps yet. I come up with excuses why I can’t serve more. It’s my job because I can’t be at a specific meeting every day or week. Or it’s I can’t work with newcomers because I haven’t worked the steps myself. Those are probably just excuses but I view them as challenges. Thanks for the tips I will do my best to follow through.

I know I am An alcoholic for a long time. I been to the rooms and read a lot of the book. I just keep shooting my self in the foot over and over. It went well for a good while. Stayed away from the sauce for a good bit. Just got a DUI, I’m devastated I now have to deal with the legal aspect and it’s so miserable. I want to get better and quit all together. I just need support

This was the first challenge that I overcame. AA has changed my life. I don’t regret going to the first meeting. Now I go almost every day. If I can do it so can you. One day at a time.

Been around the rooms for 4 years, have 2 years sober. Before that I had a year but slipped for a few days and was honest about it and started counting days.

I’m on a business trip and went out to dinner by myself and I ordered a glass of wine. Then I ordered two more. Then I walked around for a while, stopped by the store and bought a bottle of wine and drank most of it in my hotel room.

I talked on the phone with my boyfriend for about 30 minutes and I don’t know what we talked about, or if he could tell. He’s never seen me drink.

I feel kind of indifferent to it. I don’t think I’ll do it again. I plan to tell no one and, for now, continue going to meetings like nothing happened.

I’m questioning step 1. I’m not sure if I’m a real alcoholic.

I don’t know why I’m sharing this here.

im 3 years sober with a beautiful life at this point. i make music, i have a good job, friends, family, thanks to AA and steps ive taken after i quit drinking.

Dating, however, is still so hard though! all my old tendencies come to the surface. Covert contracts, insecurity, people pleasing, loss of identity and self when interested in someone. I've tried so hard to pray, keep it simple. But I find myself lost in neuroticism. I get plenty of matches on hinge, I have interest from women. I just can't stay sane I feel when I am interested in someone.

How do you successfully date while sober? Any quotes you use? Also anyone sharing the pain, i'd love to hear from you!

I made the post below when I first created my reddit account. Life is so much better and fuller today. It absolutely does get better. In my experience, the "better" isn't necessarily tangible things I've accumulated but how I am able to face life each day and carry myself in this world.

Thank you AA

Was sober 7 years.....went out everything is falling apart

I was active in AA for 7 years. I was a sponsor, I had guys that I sponsored, I worked the steps then I went out. Deep down I have always known I have had a problem. I am in a different country with a different language now and a marriage and two kids later it is all coming apart. It may not be because of my drinking but no good comes from my attempts to control or manage how I drink. My wife has no idea the extent to which I drink. No one does.

I just checked local groups and there is a meeting on Friday close by and I am going. I feel lost. I know I have been living a lie for a long time and I am scared. I am ready to get back on track.

I am sure there is nothing new or novel about this post nor my situation but I needed to put it into words.

I’ve been thinking about this alot lately. I feel like whenever things in my life start going wrong, drinking is the first thing I turn to.

Bad day, stress, feeling lonely, overthinking shit at night. It doesnt really matter what it is, I just want to stop thinking about it for a while.

And the thing is, it actually works for a little bit. Thats probably why I keep going back to it. I can go from feeling like shit to not really caring about anything, and in the moment that feels like a relief.
But then I wake up the next day and everything is still there. Whatever I was upset about didnt magically disappear, and now I feel guilty about drinking too. It’s like I keep making things harder for myself and then doing the same thing again the next time life gets stressful

I dont even know when I started relying on alcohol this much. I just know I dont want to keep living like this. I want to be able to have a bad day without immediately wanting to drink my problems away.
For anyone who’s been through this, how did you learn to deal with your emotions without turning to alcohol? Especially on those days where everything just feels like to much

I’m trying to figure this out and would really appreciate hearing from people who understand.

Hey 65 days sober, 29 yr old male, doing well in a lot of ways but I have in the last two years I have been dealt a painful neurological condition/unexplained symptoms and gnarly pain, as well as an injury that started all the serious pain (CRPS, super painful, limiting condition). I have medication tapers and a surgery in the near future to try to take pressure off the nerve that caused all that.. so I have some nuance in my situation and the relief im seeking is going to manifest differently. I cant comfortably sit at meetings as it hurts my nerve injury too much so I mostly stand which also hurts my injury just differently… Meetings with couches are ideal. 

My sponsor has helped me thus far, he has a Tough love conservative approach. Nobody really likes him, everyone even in that circle was surprised I chose him. He’s even said he doesn’t really have friends.  He was the first guy that asked me if I had a sponsor so I asked him. He’s very curt, sometimes I feel I kinda have to walk on eggshells. Im his only sponsee for a long time allegedly. I’ve lied to him about what I’m doing when I’m genuinely in too much pain to comfortably go to a meeting so he doesnt call me selfish, or I ate a food im allergic to and am super burnt/itchy. And when I told him I was targeting meetings that have couches he thought that was wrong bc I should be looking for meetings eight he best message.

 I’m going to a concert with sober people to see my sober friends band and I know he’s going to condemn it bc I’ll miss a meeting so I may lie idk. And he’s just hard to be around. Everything about him besides a steady income is the opposite of what I’d like to be or I’d like to be sober tbh. He’s made hundreds of jokes. Not one of them has been funny. Not one. He still follows his high school sports team after like 30 years.

He does know the book very well and he has helped me and I am a loyal person whose become accustomed to calling him everyday.. but some Positive reinforcement would be nice. Acknowledgement of my pain and stuff could be nice. My sad thoughts about that are always shut down. Idk whether to find a new person or stick with him. He’s been helpful and gotten me this far but I feel like hes almost become possessive over me and acts life a life coach, a boss or almost a superior. He's against me having a therapist, which id like, and his circle just kinda sucks to be around, bitter boring dudes, and are not my age group. And I have to see them twice a week. His constant reminders to get out of self and stop being selfish are helpful, but it’s his answer to everything. Idk 

I just don’t know if its the alcoholic in me that wants an easier, softer way or I just want a less domineering sponsor that understand the nuance of my situation and just how painful/difficult some of the stuff normal people can do without a second thought is for me right now (hopefully not forever). And that im not going to be the AA ironman him and his buddies were. 

Thinking of just doing my 5th step with him, seeing if it feels right and then if not re-doing that with someone else. But I dont trust my judgment in a lot of ways. Maybe im just overthinking bc I dont have many relationships in my life. I just cant see how im supposed to have like a long relationship with this person.

Thoughts? 

This is hard to write. I know I’m an alcoholic and went to my first AA meeting on Friday in my home country. Returned back to the country I’m living in on Sunday and drank Sunday. 11 days sober gone. Made it through Monday easily. Tonight I had some extra money and thought “I’ll have my last drink tonight”. I don’t even like alcohol and I’m so disappointed in myself. I reached out to an AA group in my country but it’s far from me and the only AA in my town is in the country language that I speak well, but can’t communicate this issue in. Just looking for some support.

What are the best things you have found to keep yourself from drinking. Im at a loss here.

UNREMITTING INVENTORIES

October 13

Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84

The immediate admission of wrong thoughts or actions is a tough task for most human beings, but for recovering alcoholics like me it is difficult because of my propensity toward ego, fear and pride. The freedom the A.A. program offers me becomes more abundant when, through unremitting inventories of myself, I admit, acknowledge and accept responsibility for my wrong-doing. It is possible then for me to grow into a deeper and better understanding of humility. My willingness to admit when the fault is mine facilitates the progression of my growth and helps me to become more understanding and helpful to others.

— Reprinted from "Daily Reflections", October 13, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.

I’m a 27 (M) starting drinking after work use to just be one after work and went to two started with buzz balls to sake. Alcoholism runs in my family, I know I should stop but I look forward to a reward after a long day of work I don’t to pass out but it’s getting ten the point where I look forward to it at the end of everyday! I need to stop and I need to vent and say this to people I’m ashamed and I will stop ie finding better alternatives and rewarding myself with healthier choices.
Any advice? Thought or just genuine experience in this because to be honest I do feel so alone in it.

I'm heading to Ottawa this week, and want to check out a meeting there, ideally Friday evening. Any recommendations??

I'm tired of the big book thumpers and old timers who insist that if you don''t work a good program, do the steps, get involved in service, etc, you're doomed to relapse. I've been sober for three years and I think it does people a disservice to be so rigid and so dogmatic about something that's inntimidating. And it's not enough to just work the program, you need to work a GOOD program, and stay in AA forever or you'll drink again. It's wearing me down, making me anxious, and I wanna be done. I'm tired of the same slogans, repetitive readings, and platitudes that make the meetings groundhog day every week. I just feel worn down, depressed, and the meetings aren't something I look forwards to anymore

I called and texted my sponsor and a few AA friends drunk and crying. I feel like I can’t come back from this and need to find new meetings. I’m so embarrassed. They keep reaching out but I can’t bring myself to call them back.

I’m not sure what to do.