I gave him an ultimatum approx two weeks ago. He has been getting drunk twice a week for months, even with therapy and antidepressants.

I have had to handle all our finances for basically five years and he hasnt worked in four years soon. I have begged him, pleaded with him to get a job at least and he has refused, saying his mental health would suffer. We were in couples therapy and the counselor told me that I needed to be honest with him and tell him how I felt and walk away if the didnt listen.

I have known that for a while but I have been reluctant, because I love him and believed in a future we could have together, even with all the signs pointing to it not being a future.

I told him he had to stop getting drunk alone in the home. I even told him he could go out and drink with friend on occasion. He asked me what would happen if he chose to get drunk alone and I said "then you have told me that you choose yourself, and that is ok. I will walk away."

He tried. For these 10 days or so. And I was happy for a little bit. I felt chosen, finally. He chose me.

Until last night.

When he chose the getting drunk. I could tell something was off because he was short with me and agressive.

And When I saw he was still up past midnight (we havent lived together for months due to the drinking) I knew it was probably that. I wanted to give him a chance, I wanted to believe it wasnt that. I called him and he agressively asked me what I wanted, and I told him I want to mend things between us after something that had happened the day before. He said he wasnt sure he wanted to and that we shouldnt talk now. I asked him "are you drinking?" and he said "yeah, Im having some drinks" and I just told him good night and hung up.

I blocked him, left our shared servers. Told his mom about the situation, since she will be the one on suicidewatch now.

And then I screamed and cried into my pillow for two hours. And now I woke up and have continued crying throughout the morning. I am filing for divorce today. And trying to work. I have to follow through, the drinking was the top of the iceberg of dysfunction.

Please help me and tell me it will get easier. I will not go back, I have to choose me. I want to be loved by someone who loves me as much as I love them.

It’s been 4 years. I’m done giving anything else to my Q. He’s made so many promises and bullshitted me for this many years. But I don’t want this life anymore. It’s not worth it.

I’m ready to put myself and my healing first. It’s time to let him go for good.

He always guilts me and makes elaborate promises when I threaten to leave and he just clings on for dear life and I give in.

Those who have made it permanent with someone who just will not take no for an answer and badgers their way back into your life… how did you finally escape the alcoholic hell and how did you rebuild yourself and your life?

My Q (wife) and I have been separated for almost two months now. She’s sober and going to AA meetings. I’m going to AL-Anon meetings sometimes. I feel so sad still that this may be the end of our marriage. I really don’t want to start over. But at least there’s no drunk person yelling at me anymore or treating me like shit. That’s not love. I wish I didn’t put up with it for so many years.

We hugged yesterday and we both cried. She said she misses everything, and I told her that I did too. She’s always at work or at meetings. She’s not available for a relationship physically or emotionally. It just really sucks to go from what we were, to what we are.

A part of me misses it all, even the yelling. I know it’s terrible.

Hopefully one day that will come to pass.

My wife is my Q, or perhaps my STBXW

Caught her bringing another bottle into the house, doing the sneaky “hide it on the way in” sort of thing. Seems to be her favorite game these days. I confronted her about it, and of course it’s because I don’t hold her accountable, confront her, or whatever. We’ve had this conversation maybe 6 or 7 times since I caught her swinging by the liquor store on her way home from a week stay in the hospital before coming home to her kids. She wants me to breathalyze her every evening to keep her on track and accountable. My counterpoint was “OK, but what are you doing about it?” as I can’t be responsible for her alcoholism.

I am new to AlAnon and haven’t attended a meeting yet. I’ll be honest that I asked for a divorce last week so I didn’t really see the point, but I do care about her and I love the person underneath the addiction and I want her to get better- it might be the only way for us to stay married. Still, the alcoholic has to want to get better, right? I’m trying to be supportive and have offered to take care of the house and the kids if she needs to attend meetings or wants to do in-patient, but there’s an excuse for every one of those options- she simply refuses to get any help. I don’t know what to do aside from proceed to seek a divorce.

After 22 years together and over a decade of that with my husband drinking heavily, we agreed to separate today. We’ve had this conversation several times before and never stuck to it, but this time feels different.

The conversation was full of denials and attempts to argue over how much he drank at certain times. I eventually had to end the conversation and left him sobbing on the couch. I’ve never been able to do that before. I’ve always been too enmeshed with him to allow his to have his feelings and not try to manage them. This conversation unfortunately happened organically just 24 hours after he lost his job as well. I feel deeply sad for the situation he is in, but I had an opportunity to get out and I took it.

I’m not sure if I am numb, but this has been a long time coming, so maybe I was just ready.

My husband has had issues with addiction most of his life. When we met in 2018 he wasn’t drinking and things were good. Covid hit and he started drinking more and more, coming to a head last year when he cheated on me repeatedly while I was at work and he was home getting drunk.

I told him he needed to stop if we were going to be together. He was sober for 200+ days and recently relapsed in June? Now nearly every night I go to work he drinks again. The last couple of weeks I’ve been needing rides to work from him. But he’ll take me then drinks when he gets home, leaving me no other option to get home but to rideshare it. We share a key so I have to call him repeatedly to let me in…and then he just cries, passes out, and I’m home to hang out by myself and skip dinner because I’m no longer hungry and just upset.

I hate this. I feel like I can’t work or he’ll drink. It’s so hard carrying all this, and my own chronic illness, and everything and have to show up to work like everything is okay. I miss how things used to be. I feel so alone.

I don’t know what I’m looking for here. Maybe just to vent or find support/camaraderie

Hi everyone, I’m looking for experiences on a situation I’m in. I really like a woman who is 9 months sober. Her partner died in a very traumatic way about three years ago. She fell into alcoholism during and after the relationship and got sober 9 months ago.
Is it a bad idea to establish a relationship with someone with this amount of sobriety after such a traumatic event? He was also the father of her 10 year old son.
She says she’s ready for a relationship but she still posts about him on Facebook on birthdays, anniversaries, etc.
She seems to be doing well and have her life together, but I’m wondering if this will lead to a lot of conflict and behavioural challenges. Thoughts?

Long time lurker and first time poster, please be patient as this is quite long winded. I met my Q in 2017, I got pregnant in 2020 unexpectedly and got pregnant and was prepared to leave him as he didn’t want children. At this time he was pressuring me to terminate the pregnancy and I declined, he then declared he was staying and was hot and cold whilst we lived together and he travelled regularly for work. He bought up a DNA test many times whilst I was pregnant which I found offensive. He also accused me of cheating. I found evidence of him cheating which when confronted he denied, due to being heavily pregnant I gave him the benefit of the doubt. After giving birth he continued drinking heavily (750ml or more of liquor daily), when my son was 10 months old we had an argument and he put him in the car whilst intoxicated and refused to let me remove him. I left him after this, for the next six months he convinced me to reconcile amidst emotionally abusing me - I found out he did cheat whilst I was pregnant, he did eventually get a dna test which confirmed our eldest was biologically his and he threatened suicide.

He blamed me for not allowing our 1 year old to visit his dying father (also an alcoholic) as I was not allowed at his house and was nervous after he threatened suicide and refused to let me retrieve him from the car when we first separated. He also stalked me during this time however there was a trauma bond and we were still intimate and I became pregnant with our second son. We then moved in together again and his drinking and paranoia escalated and when my youngest son was born he became psychotic and I had to leave with my two children (he was also abusing amphetamines and staying up for days).

I engaged mediation and he fell off his balcony and sustained injuries (July 2023) his bloods showed alt in the 300s and fatty liver which he stated was from the trauma of the fall. I engaged mediation and be continued to accuse me of ridiculous things. He also continued to guilt trip me and I found my own house and moved in with my children.

He never cut down drinking and I would let him see our children when I was present at his house or mine. I did withhold the children several times due to his behaviour and was constantly called evil etc. I am blamed for everything because I have boundaries and hold him to account - his family still hate me for not allowing my eldest to visit his dying father (he did visit a few times without me leading up to his death).

Fast forward to earlier this year his drinking was escalating and there were visible signs of him having liver issues which he blamed on other conditions - mild jaundice, extremely bloated stomach, weight loss, memory issues, lower tolerance to alcohol, acne on his back, pale nails, red palms, right shoulder pain, hair loss on calves and spider veins on his face and chest. He was becoming more angry and depressed and threatened to ‘take us all out’ because he had nothing to lose if we wouldn’t reconcile as a family. I told him he needed treatment and to leave the children and I alone until he did so. He stated he would only get treatment if we were a family again and would not coparent with me. After multiple daily messages harassing me the emotional abuse got too much and I filed a protection order. He is contesting it and I have also filed in family court for supervised visitation and hair follicle testing (allegedly he is walking away and will not see the boys unless he has them 50/50) he is by all accounts still drinking heavily and not in a good state of mind and cannot separate his anger from me with the child’s best interests.

I was suffering with guilt and sadness and started attending al anon and managed to detach and keep my boundaries in place. On the past weekend I was contacted by an ex gf of his that he is trying to hook up with asking me to drop the order because he is suicidal. I told her that I had a protection order and was not going to remove it and that he needed to go through the formal channels to see the boys. She also disclosed that he had sent her videos of him and I having sex. The more I think about it the more repulsed and violated I feel. I have been told I have enough evidence to press charges for revenge porn however my dilemma is he will lose his job as a teacher and will spiral downward more. She has also asked me not to involve her for fear of backlash from him. I have considered contacting his family (whom I have not heard from in over 6 months as they blindly support and enable him) to say that I have evidence to press charges and will be willing not to if he attends inpatient treatment. Or do I proceed with formal charges and ultimately he loses his job and gets a criminal conviction.

Our sons are 3 and 5 and ask for their dad regularly, I have got them into counselling but still blame myself - I have asked him for FaceTime by email as permitted under the order but he has ceased all contact and refused mediation and coparenting counselling, hence why I filed parenting orders in court. All advice welcome. Thank you.

Welp! Absolutely floored with this one.

My Q has 'officially' renounced therapy. They're now on 'indefinite leave' from work (though, they're quite assured that they can just get a new job if/when they're inevitably fired) and they refuse to see any help outside of their lawyers. They have missed another appointment, presumably from the social workers they had looked up for help, and claim they can just get by through self-medication and 'reading lots of books' now. Last I saw, they bought 300 dollars worth of weed and are using that when they aren't straight up drinking an entire bottle and a half of gin at a time.

I just assume it's the beginning of the end now. I really have no hope that this situation is gonna get any better and I've emotionally disconnected so much at this point from all the verbal abuse and attempts to control everything in our household. Like, it can only get worse from here, right?

All I can do is dedicate every last iota of my energy into bettering my own life out of spite. They have taken so much of my time and ruined so much of my mental wellbeing this year and I'm so OVER it. It was one thing when there was an illusion of recovery in the future, but now? God. I just wish my mom would take the same approach, she's so worried about them, while I'm just waiting for their rock bottom to hit so they can actually finally do something about it.

My mother is my Q.

My mother has spent years getting completely sloshed every night. I've had to hide car keys from her countless times. I only do so because if she drove drunk and killed someone, my negligence would have played a role in that person's suffering. But I've faced so much asshole behavior from her being a useless drunk. Part of me regrets a lot of those times of preventing drunk driving because I would want her to just leave and either end up in jail or die in the process. I'm not asking for her to be a decent person. But I do want to not regret doing the right thing for society.

I am curious for those of you who dated someone who struggled with alcohol and or substance abuse, what were the early signs and how did your relationship play out? Was it bad from the get go? Was there anything that you wish you could do differently?

I am asking because I just recently broke uo with someone because of their alcohol/ substance abuse struggles. Our relationship was in the early stages, and I can’t tell if I am glad or disappointed that I caught onto his habits early on. I want to gauge how bad his might have actually been. I really care about him, and I still think about him all the time. Like I said we only dated for a short time, so I didn’t get to see alot. I saw the way he drank on dates, (4-5+ drinks), and when he would go out he would just get completely hammered each time. It affected his behavior so badly that I felt at some points he wouldn’t even know what was going on even though he appeared to be coherent and present physically. He never made me feel bad for bringing up how his drinking was worrying me, and he always acknowledged that he knew he had a problem.

Tldr: broke up with someone over heavy drinking. asking for others experiences

I’m broken so I can’t go into detail. Was with Q when I was 18 and he was 21. He’s addicted to both drinking and substances. After 6 years he abandoned me. I fell in to deep depression for years. We reconnected 3 years later. I found out in that time he formed an established relationship with a girl that had bpd, came from an abusive background, and tried to
murder him so they broke up. Apparently they met way after he left me. He said he loves her but loves me more. I’m trying to process that.

We started getting sexual with one another over the phone. I expressed my hurt and he apologised but because of my depression I still spiral. I spiralled last night about the other girl, how he held space for her trauma and not mine. My text messages to him
= spamming. Even 3 messages = spamming. 1 call = spamming. I’m not allowed to express anything cos it’s spamming. He kept going in circles saying I had threatened him when I hadn’t. Said I texted him cos I’m an attention seeker, that I’m a pathological liar and because I had prayed for his dad who has cancer he said to keep his name and his mum’s name out of my mouth etc + many other things. Then he said sorry he’s in pain and wanting to relapse. I’m beyond shattered and tired. I’m ready to give up on everything. It’s been 10 years since we met and I’ve been in pain ever since.

My bf and I just moved in together for the first time and one day after, he started drinking after being sober for over a year. We bought a bottle of wine for ourselves and two more to gift to the leasing agents. I had a glass, went to sleep, and when I woke up, the bottle for us was gone but he also opened the other bottle not meant for us. He apologized. Then he came back from work and I could tell he was drunk (even when he denied it). He fell asleep on the couch and I went to bed. Then he comes home again from work drunk. Again, he denies it after I confronted him about it and told him I am not going to talk to him. I retired to our bedroom and he left the apartment. What do I do now?

I'm chairing my meeting tonight and the topic is "do nothing". I've got a few songs that keep popping in my head and it made me wonder what do yall listen to when: you have had a bad day, need to pause and reset, are upset about something you can't control? Just curious and hopes that someone will stumble upon this lighter topic and it helps them in a moment of stress. Here is what I have so far:

Float on -modest mouse

Let it be - the Beatles

Hakuna Matata

So what - Pink

Share what uplifts you. 😇

Hi, I pondering if anyone has any experience with a chronic relapsing partner that has just been taken to hospital as even whilst drinking he’s developed a twitching in his head and neck. Like in and out of consciousness but head twitching back and forth like what I can only describe as a Tourette’s type tick. Very confused, very dehydrated, barely ate for weeks.

Worried this has now developed into something serious neurological. Obviously his thiamine levels will be very much depleted but just wondered if anyone has seen this before. Thanks

Hello. Never thought I would be posting here. I have just found out my partner is an alcoholic. She is 21, I am 24. She is part of a club at the college I went to for Outdoor recreation, and they throw a lot of parties. I went to many of these, and had a very fun time. However, Halloween last year, she got extremely drunk minutes into the party, and we talked and she thought it would be a good idea to stop drinking. Her father is an alcoholic. Just drunk everyday. We both didn't drink for three months. With how many parties there are, I figured with her complete stop of drinking she knew what too far was. We would go to Mug night and have a beer and go home, didn't think anything of it. Over summer she lived with me, and it was horrible. She was just so emotionally dependent on me, I felt like I had a 3 year old throwing tantrums every day. I thought it was something with me, I wasn't doing enough, yadda yadda yadda. We broke up. I thought it had to be the fact that her living with me was pretty cramped, and that she had no personal space. She also has autism, so I summed it up to bad living arrangement. While we were broken up, I saw another woman a couple times. Then my ex starts seeing me, and she finds out about this woman. Just loses it. I didn't know how she was coping when she was living with her friends, but she coped. Saturday there was a party at a mutual friends house. Due to our previous falling out, I didn't see these people anymore. But I was there with her at the party, as her guest, and it was the first time I had been with her drinking in genuinely a year. I didn't realize it at the time, but she was blacked out within an hour or two of being there. Her friend blocked me from going near her because they don't like me, but her friend told her later she saw her friend was extremely intoxicated and didn't trust me. I didn't understand how she could've got so drunk when we both only brought a bottle of wine. I find out the next day she refilled her bottle with the jungle juice, and continued drinking that. She admitted how every party she is going to she gets black out drunk. We have had fights about what time she comes over to mine, we have plans after she goes out with her friends in the morning for gameday that she just ghosted me over, and I was thinking I am such a bad person for being upset she isn't home before 2 am, or I don't hear from her till 7. Now I find out it is because she is just getting black out drunk multiple times a week. I genuinely had no idea. I thought she was just going out with her friends and I was jealous and needed to back off. I didn't know she was just using these events as an excuse to get wasted multiple times a week. She didn't know why she woke up in her bed on Sunday and not mine. She thought I was mad at her, she had no memory of what happened. She has been hiding this for months. I think the reason she was throwing all those fucking tantrums over summer was because she was withdrawing from drinking at Trivia Night with her friends. Or a movie night with her friends. She hid it so well. I feel so dumb. Like how could I not of known this? It has been going on for months and I just thought I wasn't patient enough or kind enough, that I was a mean person, but I see now she was an addict burning out, and it was affecting my moods. I was angry over summer, I was irritable and mean. I thought I was just a bad person. I don't know what to do. Her birthday is in a month. I had presents to give her. I don't want to breakup with her and start another downward spiral. I don't know if she wants to quit. She wants to go to the parties with a sweet tea and I think that is just a horrible idea being in these environments. She said she doesn't want to be left out and miss the parties, and wants to be part of the fun, but the look on her face was that of a wild animal when I left the party. I don't know what to do. My body is telling me to breakup with her but I feel like I am being manipulative by telling her how much I care about her and want to be with her to then breakup with her. And then I am sure she will stay sober for a while, she will come to me and say look, everything is fine, I am not drinking, it is handled. And then I take her back. Her friends say I am manipulative and controlling and this fucking rollercoaster makes me feel this way. Like breaking up and getting back together, I am not doing this shit for an excuse to see other people I don't want to be alone and miss her wondering how she is doing. She was my adventure buddy. We've been together about a year and 6 months, and I just don't know how to let this go. Please any response would be helpful, I'm sorry for rambling so long, just have a lot of thoughts.

Hello, I don't really know what to do but any advise will really help.

During the time that I was home after I graduated my dad (who is my Q) was a moderate drinker only having 1-2 drinks a day after he would come home from work. I didn't really think much of it since I'm not a saint either and would sometimes use marijuana to cope for stress. After I left my family made mention of how his drinking has gotten really out of hand.

However like the title says I flew back home for my birthday. I don't know if I'm overreacting or not but tonight my dad ended getting in a one sided screaming match with my mom again. He was yelling at her because she had thrown out old soy sauce packets that where in a drawer of his apparently (from what i was told). My mom and sibling ended up leaving while he was screaming, and I was in my room and heard him continue to make comments about "not wanting to live" and "sick of being treated like this" and throwing things around. I could hear him walking down to our basement. The reason I said I don't know if I'm over reacting is because my family does own guns and they are kept in the basement and for a split second I thought he would take it out on me so I rushed outside while he was still down there. I waited outside looking through the windows for a while to see if would come back up but he never did.

Am I just overreacting? Could I be a cause/factor for this? I don't really know how to process all of this. Is there a good way to go about dealing with this? I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm rambling but I'm really worried for how this will play out in the long run and I don't know how to confront all of this at once but I want to try to fix this. And if I am over reacting/thinking please tell me, I need the honesty right now.

Anything helps, thank you.

Hello. So I go to Charlie healrh virtual IOP and I seem to find so many posts on Reddit about it and many reviews but I can't seem to find hardly anything on recovery unplugged and I don't know why. I'm interested in finding people's experiences because my boyfriend is about to come home from rehab today and he's starting with recovery unplugged virtual IOP I'm not sure why it's so hard to find posts about it compared to Charlie health. Has anyone done their progra

I will first preface, when we go to his mom's house for dinner he does have a few drinks. However, the last time we went, he did not buy anything the day after and make any excuses. (We've only been to her house once since he started) I had one drink at MIL's place, Sunday I decided to try one drink and told him that's my last one for a while just because I don't want to drink since it could be hard for him to see that in me. One glass of wine a night using the smallest wine glass I'd ever seen was my last moment of "I could just do this", but I've decided against that before I started.

I will probably be buying a wine bottle but only for a get-together, not social with friends. Thanksgiving and Christmas, though, I'm waiting for that. When we go to his sister's place for those holidays, we drink quite a bit. I try to be very modest about it, sometimes just drinking the soda instead. I usually have one or two drinks, but it's normalized for everyone else to drink a few more. Of course, I don't count people's drinks, maybe it's less or more, but we are usually there for hours. From like 3pm to 8pm, so who knows. Maybe I just buy the wine for new years, or maybe his birthday, but we share it with his mom or something? Less for us.

So far, though, I'm very happy with my husband. He's being strong and not using those silly excuses he used to use. He did once take a shot when we watched MIL's dogs for a weekend and beat himself up. He did once have a drink at work with his boss, super weird of his boss to do to him though. I am simply ecstatic that instead of hiding these situations, he's open with me! He tells me every time, or he shows me what he's drinking. So far, a few drinks at his mom's, the drink or two with his boss, and a shot of whiskey.

I'm being more patient than I could be, when he came home and told me about drinking with his boss I just told him it means he'll have to put all of his clothing away. I mean, fairly mild. I'm sure when it becomes a different situation, like two days in a row he decides to put himself back I'll definitely act different. This is only 3 separate instances within two months. If he weren't doing well...I probably wouldn't be feeling positively about it.

I do hope, though, he is being 100% truthful with me. I'm trusting him fully with telling me the truth, so I don't think anything else has happened. So far, so good.
He wants to be healthy so we can try for a child, so I'd hope he is.

So, for me, I only see the moment where he decided to get a shot from his mom's place, and he drank with his boss instead of respectfully declining.

It’s been a while since I last posted, but I’ve noticed that my thoughts about Al-Anon and my husband’s alcoholism have become less and less consuming. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’ve successfully detached.

Long story short, I’ve had to ask my husband to leave our home twice. The first time, I eventually allowed him to come back after I experienced an ectopic pregnancy that required emergency surgery and led to some pretty serious complications. I was physically and emotionally vulnerable, and I think part of me just wanted things to feel normal again. Not even two months later, he went on a golf trip with friends, got so intoxicated that he passed out at a gas station, and was found by the police, who took him to a motel. He then continued drinking until 3 a.m. After that incident, I asked him to leave again.

Fast-forward three months, and I’ve been consistently working with my therapist and attending online Al-Anon meetings. My husband is now over 60 days sober, and I can genuinely say he looks and sounds healthier. I’m happy for him, and I hope his sobriety continues.

But I’ve also come to the realization that I can’t go back.

After years of lies, broken promises, and disrespect, something in me has fundamentally changed. I feel like somewhere along the way, he stopped seeing me as a person with feelings, needs, and boundaries and started seeing me as someone who would simply continue tolerating the consequences of his alcoholism.

When I allowed him to return home the first time, it didn’t take long for him to become comfortable again, and I almost immediately knew I had made a mistake.
I’ve struggled with guilt over beginning the divorce process, especially knowing that alcoholism is a disease and that he is now making an effort toward recovery. But my therapist reminded me of something that really stuck with me: Sometimes it’s not just the big event itself that changes how we feel. It’s the actions, or lack of actions, before and after that event.

For me, it was the lack of support following my ectopic pregnancy. It was the countless lies, the embarrassment I endured because of his behavior, the disrespect, and the feeling that my emotional well-being was never truly considered.

I spent so much time focusing on his drinking that I don’t think I fully recognized how much damage had been done to me and to our marriage.

I can acknowledge that he has a disease. I can be proud of him for getting sober. I can wish him nothing but the best in his recovery. But I can also recognize that his sobriety doesn’t erase everything that happened or obligate me to stay.

I think that’s been the hardest part of detachment for me: realizing that I can care about someone and still choose myself.

At this point, I truly feel like there’s no turning back, sober or not. And while there’s sadness and guilt in that realization, there’s also a sense of peace I haven’t felt in a very long time.

Mid 30's F, my Q is sibling and an addict for decades

As a child I learnt to forget some of people name& face who put me in harms way or hurt me, and how to repress my feelings.
This said, apart from forgetting these people, I always had a very good memory, and I can recall things from years ago (including childhood) with no issue. I remember numbers, foreign vocabulary etc easily. It's only specific people´s faces and name, I remember what they did.

Problem : these past few weeks there were lots of deep issues with my Q every day that usually happened always at the same part of the day. I realized that I can't recall them. I remember the people I met, what I've eaten up to a certain hour and then it's blank. If an issue was on a whole day, then I don't remember that day or barely.

Do you have part of your days or you whole day that you don't remember, even though it was recent? And when you try to recall and it starting to work you get immediatly scared and you immediately block, or you recall some days but as if you didn't live it. Like a boring show or meh you watched that doesn't give you happiness or sadness

The deep issues with my Q are about them only, I'm just impacted on the side. Meaning there was no fear over my own safety or any harm coming to me.

I have no-one irl to talk about this with except my psychiatrist (who said it's normal my brain is trying to protect me), so I just wanted to find at least one person who may feel the same and who have it related to their Q.

ps I'm on meds for depression general anxiety and ADHD and I'm diagnotised with OCD.

If you chose yourself today, I just want to say I am proud of you. It is not always easy but you are worth it.

over the last seven years I’ve forgiven my Q for just about anything and everything, the worst things that a person can do to another person.

ive made excuses such as that he is younger he is grieving, etc etc and ive excused things i frankly should’ve never accepted. but last week , something broke inside me and i cant bring myself to let it go.

he got wasted and wouldn’t leave my home, started calling me ugly- saying im ugly when i come home from work and im ugly when i wake up in the morning, ugly this ugly that. then pounding on my bedroom door threatening to wake my kids up.

later he threw a steel toed boot at my face right in front of my kids.

the next day, he just brushed it off saying he didn’t mean it and I should know that. no remorse, he even said it was my fault he called me ugly because I wasn’t making him feel loved enough.

i know this is the alcohol speaking, but I cannot muster up the ability to forgive.

i don’t know how to just let it go. I’ve been speaking to my therapist and I had a really low moment where I tied a phone charger around my neck because I don’t understand how to possibly keep going like this.

Everytime I fall asleep I just hear his words, that I am ugly and everytime I wake up o just hear his words, I’m ugly.

what is wrong with me that I even let it get this far? is being drunk ever an excuse?

help me tell me the baby steps what do I do?

I am 28 weeks pregnant and just found out my father in law has been using crack cocaine for at least 2 years and meth more recently. my mother in law only found out in May but recently things have escalated to the point where she no longer feels safe at home anymore which is how this has all come to light.

I don’t know what the point of this post is other than that I am reeling and trying to figure out what giving birth and having a newborn looks like with a grandparent I no longer trust and my husband’s time and energy being taken up by this and I need to know I’m not alone

I am reaching out in deep need of advice and confidential guidance regarding my 30-year-old husband, who has developed a severe alcohol dependency. We live in a country with strict laws and heavy social stigma surrounding alcohol, where patient confidentiality is not guaranteed. Visiting a local rehab center or psychiatrist would immediately jeopardize his career, which he has worked so hard to build. Because of the local legal and professional risks, I feel completely isolated and unable to confide in anyone, including our families.
His drinking began in 2024 when he tried alcohol for the first time and liked it. Due to restricted local access, he learned how to brew it at home, and his intake escalated from occasional use to daily consumption. Now, once he starts drinking, he completely loses control and cannot stop. He has even started drinking in the morning before going to work. While he feels deep remorse in the mornings and promises me that he will quit, the urge returns every evening. Whenever I have tried to intervene by throwing the alcohol in the trash, it has triggered intense arguments and defensive anger.