I (33 F), currently live with my mother due to an extreme family emergency. I moved back to my mothers home about 3 months ago due to loosing our housing. I am married and have children. I also had to quit my job over how bad my brothers health was getting. He has been hospitalized since December of last year. Since, my brother being in the hospital i have been on call for my mother. Anything and everything she needs I am there. I have other siblings who live out of state. I am her only physical support. BUT I AM HONESTLY GETTING TIRED OF IT. She had debt/ almost lost her house due to liens. The more i give the more she wants. Today she called my sister complaining she had to pay her light bill. I have spent thousands getting her caught up on her bills. I understand its her money and she works but how is it that she has money to spend on my sister and her needs but complains about paying her bill. She also has messed up credit because she lets my brother use hers, she's paying off a loan that is his and she does not even ask for the money back. I am seriously thinking of moving out of her house and getting my own place. She's always saying I am inconsiderate and need to think about my siblings situations. AITA for wanting to leave and not help her, even though I know my siblings would not help her, nor move in with her.

i at the time (13F) had a friend (13M) who we will call R struggling with depression. he would come to me when he was upset, rarely ever saying why he was upset just wanting me to know he was. i would do my best to help and comfort him but i had never experienced comforting someone who was dealing with so much pain. i myself was struggling with depression but mostly put it on the back burner to help him because i believed he needed it more.

after a while his best friend started dating one of my best friends, knowing R had already had a crush on this girl. R started sending him threats and saying he was going to get into a fight with him. i stepped in and went off on R and we got into a somewhat hateful argument. i knew he was hurting, i knew he was struggling with major depression and SI before all this and yet i still lashed out. i still said hateful things, and i still hurt R.

later that night R tried to take his own life. its been several years since then, and i have apologized for my actions more than once and he has told me that i am long since forgiven. i still can't move on. i still hold this unbearable weight of guilt and shame on my shoulders that i can't tell anyone about. i knew he wasn't okay, i knew what he wanted to do to himself, and yet when i got angry it didn't seem to matter. if he had died that night i wouldn't be able to live with myself. i can barely live with myself now.

Me and my friend group are made up of 5 girls and 2 boys. we are planning to go to Cancun on our senior trip and we’re very exited about it! we’ve been planning it for months and almost everyone has already paid in advance. One of my friends, let’s name her Sarah, has a small pool on her house and we go every now and then. One day we went and our friend “Allan” came with a speedo, i genuinely didn’t care about it but my friends made some jokes about they didn’t want to see “all that” and other out of pocket stuff but they weren't very aggressive. 2 of our friends were not on the pool that day lets name them Ethan and Amelia.

Some days after that on school the girls that were there started straight up attacking Allan saying that they were disgusted and if he wore that in the beach he would scare the guys they would flirt with. I was honestly very confused because i really think it wasn't that big of a deal. In my opinion I think they overreacted because he looked kinda normal to me, they were acting like he was wearing a thong or a jockstrap, he was NOT wearing that, it was at MOST, a small speedo.

I said to my friends that i think they're doing too much and made Allan feel bad, they were very clear that they thought he shouldn't wear that ever again and i just left it at that.

They told me they discussed this privately and i honestly think whatever they do is fine but 2 days ago i was alone with Allan and Sarah and Allan brought up this again, Sarah said her opinion about how she said it made them uncomfortable and i said my opinion on how i thought they were being a bit immature. Today on school we hanged out and the girls basically told me to fuck off and that i shouldn't have said my opinion at all, I was kind of shocked one of the girls was kind of rude but i didn't said anything for my own peace.

Allan was beating a dead horse but they are getting a little too defensive about it, am I being an asshole in this situation? Should i just not talk about it and let them figure it out? Help reddit.

I'm 33M and my wife is 31F. We've been married for four years, and we've recently started talking seriously about having children. A few months ago I bought a beautiful wooden rocking chair from a local furniture maker. It wasn't cheap, but I'd wanted one for years, and I imagined keeping it in our future nursery. My wife knew how much it meant to me even though she didn't really understand why I was so attached to it. Last weekend my younger sister visited with her toddler. She mentioned that she'd been looking for a rocking chair because her son struggles to settle down at bedtime. Later that evening my wife told me she'd offered my chair to her. I thought she was joking. When I realized she was serious, I told her she couldn't give away something that belonged to me without asking first. She said my sister needed it more right now, while we didn't even have a child yet. I explained that it wasn't just an ordinary piece of furniture to me. I'd saved up for it, chosen the design myself and planned to pass it down someday. I wasn't against helping my sister but I didn't think that meant giving away my belongings. My wife accused me of caring more about a chair than my own nephew. She also said that if we were going to become parents I needed to learn that our priorities would change. I offered to help my sister find an affordable secondhand chair instead, but my wife said that wasn't the point anymore. She believes I embarrassed her by making her take back an offer she'd already made. My sister hasn't said much about the situation but things have been awkward at family gatherings since then. I understand that the chair isn't being used right now and maybe I'm too attached to an object. Still I don't think planning to have a family means I lose the right to decide what happens to my own belongings.

AITA for refusing to let my wife give away my rocking chair to my sister, even though we don't have children yet?

I'm 35M and my wife is 33F. We've been married for five years and for the most part we have a good relationship. The problem is that whenever we have an argument, she tells her best friend everything that happened. At first I didn't mind because I understand that people sometimes need someone to talk to. But recently her friend has started making comments about our relationship whenever we meet. She'll bring up things I've said during arguments make jokes about my mistakes and occasionally give me advice I never asked for. Last month my wife and I disagreed about a decision involving our savings. It wasn't a huge fight, and we resolved it the next morning. A few days later we had dinner with her friend who casually mentioned that my wife deserved someone who actually listened to her. I immediately knew my wife had told her about our disagreement. On the way home I asked my wife if she could keep some of our arguments between us instead of sharing every detail with her friend. I wasn't asking her to stop talking to her or to keep secrets from everyone. I just wanted some privacy in our marriage. She got defensive and said her friend was the person she trusted most, and I had no right to decide what she could talk about. She also pointed out that I sometimes discuss our problems with my brother although I don't share the same level of detail. I admitted that she had a point but I still think there's a difference between asking someone for general advice and sharing personal details that later become entertainment at dinner. Now she says I want to isolate her from the people who support her. That's not what I'm trying to do, but I also don't want to feel like every disagreement we have will eventually become a conversation with someone else.

AITA for asking my wife to keep more of our marital disagreements private from her best friend?

I (27F) have been babysitting my sister's two kids for free for three years. Last Saturday, she asked me to watch them, but I already had plans with friends. I politely said no. An hour before her dinner reservation, she showed up at my apartment with both kids, expecting me to cancel my plans.

When I refused, she called me selfish and said I had no idea how difficult parenting was because I don't have children. The next day, my mom called, saying my sister had told everyone I refused to help her when she needed me. That really hurt because I've sacrificed countless weekends to help her. I finally told my sister I wouldn't babysit anymore until she started respecting my time. Now she's accusing me of punishing her children, and my family wants me to apologize.

I love those kids, but I'm tired of being treated like free childcare.

AITA for finally standing up for myself?

TL;DR: My sister expected me to cancel my plans to babysit, called me selfish when I refused, and turned our family against me.

I (29M) have a group of four friends and we've used a shared Google Calendar for years to plan dinners, basketball, trips, whatever. Two of us are saving money right now so lately it's mostly been cheap dinners at someone's apartment.

A few months ago, one of the guys added his girlfriend to the calendar without asking anyone. Nobody really cared until she started treating every event as an invitation.

If someone put "Friday dinner" she'd show up with him. Once she came to a dinner where one of our friends was planning to tell us about his breakup. He ended up not saying anything because he barely knows her.

I brought it up with my friend and asked if he could check before bringing her. He said he wasn't going to make his girlfriend feel excluded from things he's invited to.

Eventually the other two guys and I made a separate calendar without him. We still invite them both to bigger plans, but sometimes we just want the original group together.

He found out after seeing pictures from a dinner we hadn't invited him to. Now he's pissed and says we deliberately cut him out instead of talking to him like adults.

I get why he's upset about being excluded, but I already tried talking to him and he dismissed it.

AITA?

TL;DR: My friend gave his girlfriend access to our group calendar and she started showing up to everything. After he refused to discuss it, we made another calendar without him. Now he's upset that we're excluding him.

I (31M) bought my house almost two years ago. My wife and I had been saving money for a place with a backyard for years.

The previous owner was an older woman who planted a maple tree in memory of her son who passed away. When we bought the house, she asked if she could visit the tree once a year on the anniversary of his death. I agreed.

Last year she came alone, stayed about 10 minutes and left. No issues.

This year we moved my daughter's birthday celebration to a Saturday since it worked better for everyone's schedules. Unfortunately, that Saturday happened to be the anniversary of her son's death.

We had planned a pretty big celebration with around 15 kids, family members, and entertainers we'd paid to keep the kids busy. She asked to visit that day, but I explained the situation and offered Sunday instead. She insisted it had to be the actual anniversary.

She ended up showing up anyway with her husband and another relative while the party was in full swing. I met them at the gate and told them it wasn't a good time.

She started crying and said I'd promised she could visit. I explained that we had an entire birthday celebration going on and I didn't think it was appropriate to have people grieving in the middle of it.

My wife thinks I was unnecessarily harsh and could've given them five minutes. I feel bad about turning away a grieving mother, but I also think it would've been uncomfortable for everyone, especially the kids.

AITA?

TL;DR: Moved my daughter's birthday party to a Saturday that coincided with the anniversary of the previous owner's son's death. We'd paid for entertainers from stake and had a full celebration going on, so I refused to let her and her family visit his memorial tree that day.

Not sure if this fits the flair lol.

I (19F) have been long distance with my boyfriend (20M) for almost 2 years, and lately I’ve been having doubts about whether I can see the future I want with him.

I’ve always looked up to my dad and wanted someone with similar characteristics (not in a weird way lol). He’s an insanely hard worker who knows how to cook, clean, grill, take care of himself, and provide stability for the people he loves. I want a masculine man I can lean on who can eventually be a good father to our kids.

I feel like I’ve followed that same path. When I clean, I DEEP clean. I work my ass off to afford what I want and pay my bills because my parents aren’t going to do everything for me. My boyfriend is open about his space and how he cleans, and it aggravates me because it comes across as immature imo.

The ironic thing is that I’m not from a religious household with high expectations, but he is. The only thing expected of him is to go to university, yet he struggles to get up for uni or even an APPOINTMENT without someone waking him up. His mother is constantly on his ass, and I feel like the only reason he wants to move out is to escape her nagging rather than genuinely become independent. He doesn’t work, and I don’t see him doing much to prepare for his future.

I feel like an asshole because I’m actively working and saving money to see him and go on trips, but I don’t see the same effort from him. I’ve communicated this multiple times, and he says he’s applied for jobs but never follows up.

Ive always wanted a provider and someone I can rely on for once in my life. I’ve basically had to raise myself emotionally since I was a kid. I’m not saying I want to do nothing myself, but I want someone I can lean on without feeling like I’m carrying everything alone.

I’m scared we won’t build a future together because I feel like I’m putting in so much more effort. I want a stable, happy family and to give my future kids what I didn’t have growing up.

BUT then I feel awful because we’re literally 19 and 20. We’re young, and there’s time to grow. Am I rushing things? I love him and don’t want to throw away almost 2 years, but I also don’t want to spend years waiting for someone to become the man I need him to be.

Am I being unreasonable, or is it valid to want a partner who shows me he’s capable of building a life with me? Heeeelp…..

Me and my ex GF were together ~2 years. We’re both university students and need a summer internship, so we said why not do it together abroad, supporting each other (first time abroad for both). We found one and rented a cheap house. 3 months before summer she broke up with me. We’re both from low-mid income families and couldn’t afford new accommodation, so we agreed to keep it civil and be friends / roommates.

I can't say I moved on completely but I was fully commited to uphold this aggreement. But things got confusing during the first few days of our stay. She kept linking her arm to mine while exploring the city, resting her head on my shoulder saying how tired she is. She insisted that I try new clothes and complimented a lot about how I look. At home, she said we shouldn’t bother moving things around and should sleep in the bedroom (separate beds), and she changed clothes in front of me, saying “Why bother, it’s not something you haven’t seen before, right?”, all giggling and smiling. I hope you understand why I got confused.

After two weeks my hopes were up. Then on a weekend trip she told me she was going to call her bestie. As I walked by her, the call was full of “miss you,” “can’t wait to see you” and similar phrases. It was obviously not her bestie but her new boyfriend. She’d hidden him while hyping me up with all those advances, and I later realized she’d probably been cheating on me in our final months.

I stopped communicating after that and did the bare minimum for the house. Two months later she went on a 3 day trip, which I knew through friends was to meet him. On her way back, her plane was delayed, she missed all public transport and asked me to pick her up with one of those shared cars which was 70 min drive past midnight. I declined and she paid a lot for a taxi.

She arrived fuming around 3AM saying how I left her alone, she could have been kidnapped, she needs to cancel her remaining plans because of me, is this how friends take care of each other etc etc. I said we stopped being friends some time ago and I wouldn’t lift a finger for her. She started talking about the weird chatty taxi driver and I said if she was so worried in one of Europe’s safest cities, she should have called her boyfriend. She stormed off and that was our last real conversation.

AITA?

My wife and I have a 7 year old daughter and a few months ago I built her a little reading corner in our spare room. I made the shelves myself, painted the walls with her favorite colors and spent several weekends putting everything together. She absolutely loves it and spends hours reading there. Last week my wife's sister visited with her 6-year-old son. He saw the reading corner and wanted one of the small bookshelves for his bedroom. My wife told her sister she could have it, saying we could easily build another one. I wasn't there when she offered it. I found out later when my daughter came to me crying because her aunt was planning to collect the shelf that weekend. I told my wife I wasn't giving it away. It wasn't just an ordinary shelf to our daughter and nobody had even asked her how she felt about it. My wife said I was making a big deal out of a piece of furniture and that her nephew deserved something nice too. I suggested we help her sister build a similar shelf instead, but my wife said that wasn't the point anymore because she'd already promised it. Now she's upset that I made her look bad in front of her sister while her sister thinks I'm being petty over something that can be replaced. I don't mind helping my wife's family and I'd happily build another shelf. What bothers me is that my wife volunteered something our daughter loves without asking either of us first.

AITAH for refusing to let the shelf go, even though my wife had already promised it to her sister?

I know I’m not the Ahole for calling animal control on my neighbor. So for a little context my neighbor has given us issues with parking for a couple years and haven’t gotten along to well. There has just been a lot of issues with them in the past. HOWEVER I get home on my lunch today and im watching my dog in the back yard (she will eat random shit🥲) and I hear the neighbor start yelling on the other side of her house I can’t really tell what she’s saying. The dog runs from the side of their house and she’s close behind him chasing him. He stops and cowered down and braced himself to be hit. She ran after him with a leash and full arm above the head hit the fuck outta him and then noticed me standing in my backyard and said “oh sorry”. Now I didn’t say anything to her bc they WILL retaliate but how do I go about this without them attacking us verbally or in anyway. I just feel so bad for the dog he’s not even a year old..

This is an adaptation of a TRENDING NEWS STORY presented in AITA format for your enjoyment. The facts are real. I am not the OP (the shop owner), I am the host of AITApod, a podcast which covers such stories.

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I am the purveyor of a strange store in Brooklyn called Art of Play. Our store has playing cards, books, bizarre home goods, and even some bona fide art. Among such pieces of art, is "Molly." Molly, the yellow bird in the picture, is an intricate piece of mechanical art that serves as the our mascot. Molly is even often used as the opener to our close-up magic shows!

Well, Kelly Clarkson recently tweeted this about us, leading to a storm of negative attention. She wrote on Saturday on her twitter account:

Just drove all the way to Brooklyn to check out this store I thought looked really rad and had a few things in mind to buy and literally was looked at as if I couldn’t afford it and was told he could find something comparable for me.

We explained to Kelly that Molly is not for sale; she is affixed to a gallery wall, like a standard piece of art. There is a comparable Molly-like bird that the maker would be willing to part with for $15,000. Since this is an extremely high price tag, we are not exactly equipped to just have her walk away with this bird, it is located in Seattle. We also have another similar concept that is much cheaper, around $2000.

Kelly took to social media and has painted us as having done something wrong. She tweeted:

Wow, dude. You’re an idiot and just lost a huge sale. But y’all should go check out Art of Play in Brooklyn if you enjoy being treated like Julia Roberts character in Pretty Woman. For sure, check it out 👎

She went on:

Cool, cool. Sure, it wasn’t for sale. That’s the narrative Art of Play is gonna go with 👍 so the whole conversation we had when I asked you if it was for sale whilst pointing to the price tag hanging on the wall with the title Singing Bird didn’t happen as you elevator eyed me saying in a condescending tone “yes, it’s for sale but it costs 15,000 dollars so if you’d like me to find something comparable for you I can.” That all never happened and now it’s not for sale. Okay, cool. So you’re not only rude, you’re also a liar. Got it ✅

The confusion appears to be stemming from the fact that like many pieces presented in an art gallery context, that literal piece is not for sale, but rather its duplicate or comparable. For instance, at a photography gallery, you are buying a print of a limited run, not the exact print/framing presented on the wall. So yes, there is a price, but no, that bird itself isn't for sale.

So AITA for refusing to sell a bird automaton to Kelly Clarkson?

Am I the asshole for getting so sick of people coming to me for everything I feel. Family, friends, coworkers, everyone. I am so tired of hearing other people issues, its a damn inconvenience to me. I get it , we are all going thru shit right now and I feel like everyone comes to me for a vent or advice. I am a very young adult ( early 20’s) and in my family all my elders come to me for advice and telling me whats going on in their life and im sick of it. Its an inconvenience to me and im already drained my damn self trying to keep my self afloat in the nicest way I dont care about your problems. And when something happens and I have to help its the biggest annoyance of my life. I help everyone in my family, I dont receive help like that. Friends as well, I dont care what you’re going thru honestly, I have so much on my plate for a person at my age and have been since I was way too young for this shit. Am I an asshole for feeling this way or do I need to do some of my own self work? Am I just too cold lmao? But genuinely im tired with my own shit and family or not I really dont care to hear about yours. Im drained.

Lauren and Chloe made a cruel comment about the ex of my close friend Sophie, who was present. I called them out, but things somehow turned against me.

They accused me of being annoying, excluding them, and running off with Sophie to gossip about them. Sophie and I sometimes have private conversations, which I don't think is unreasonable.

After a meeting where certain details were meant to stay private, information was shared with others anyway.

What hurt most was feeling unsupported by Sophie. She'd previously told me she disagreed with Lauren and Chloe's behaviour but stayed friends with them because she didn't want to get on their bad side.

I messaged Sophie asking why she still wanted to be friends with them after everything that happened. I genuinely wanted to understand, not start an argument.

The next morning, she seemed distant. When I touched her arm to check on her, she snapped at me not to touch her.

Later, Sophie and Hannah confronted me, accusing me of avoiding everyone and being rude. Sophie explained she was upset about how I'd spoken to them after Lauren and Chloe confronted me. I felt betrayed because Sophie was there but didn't defend me while I was having a panic attack.

Since then, I've felt uncomfortable around everyone. I don't want to pretend everything is fine, but I'm scared of losing the whole group.

I eventually messaged Hannah because I missed her and wanted to fix things. I'd ignored some messages for a couple of weeks because I needed space, but she hasn't replied in days despite appearing online.

I've also discovered another group chat I'm not part of. I know people can have separate chats, but given everything that's happened, I feel excluded.

I don't particularly want to be around some of them anymore, but I don't want to end up alone either.

AITA for calling out Lauren and Chloe, questioning Sophie's loyalty, and distancing myself from the group after everything blew up?

In college I became a part of a study/friend group, including Guy A and Guy B. We were close enough to banter and hang out outside of class.

Eventually, Guy A unprompted would comment on what kind of physical, sexual features in a woman's body that he liked, down to talking shit about how women for wearing a lot of makeup. Stuff that I thought guys only talked about online. It was weird to hear about in person, and I wasn't even giving this guy a TED talk about how that's all disgusting, but I would tell him it's weird to talk about stuff like that. Guy B didn't really add on, just complied with his friend, which I found annoying because he was actually really sweet without him.

Everyone else felt it easier to brush it off because no one wanted drama and I guess because they knew guys can naturally be like this and can still be good guys?

So a part of me was convinced that I was just "too woke" since no one was as weirded out as I was, so I tried to ignore it and played along. I even thought I was kind of a hypocrite, because my sense of humor was just stupid stuff like exasperated commentary, self-deprecating, sarcasm, playful roasting with friends. One day, I had called Guy B a pussy over not wanting to do something small in class. Both (??) guys got offended, I was embarrassed, I apologized. Then they said that they weren't actually offended. So then kept going with the roasting with Guy A. The next time they came to class they were straight up ignoring me and the rest of the group.

No one in the group wanted me to apologize. I wasn't trying to retaliate at all. I already adjust my sense of humor depending on the person, and there were people in the group that are too nice and I don't have it in me to playfully roast them. I was careful even with these guys and it still bit me in the ass at the end.

I don't plan on being in contact with these guys anymore. But this still kind of bothers me and I need to make peace with it lol. I think I'm just bothered by the possibility how all of this has been my fault all along, and I'm scared my friends are just biased because they're my friends.

I (24M) and he (29M) are in a situationship. We met on Grindr and discovered we work in the same mall. He’s come over to my place several times to hang out, chat, and occasionally make out.

I really enjoy his company because I feel most like myself around him. However, he tends to be avoidant. I’ll text him, and he’ll leave me on read for days until he suddenly decides to talk again, making me feel like a dog getting its treats. He also comes over whenever he feels like it.

Whenever I try to discuss where things are going, the conversation usually goes like this: “Hey.” “Hey.” “How was your day?” “Great.” Then I’ll say something like, “I actually want to talk about us. Maybe we could try going out together?” And then… silence. He never replies.

Even when we’re having a good conversation over the phone, he’ll suddenly disappear whenever he feels like it.

I’ve heard that avoidant people need space, so I’ve tried to understand his behavior. But honestly, I can’t seem to forget him or move on. I genuinely like him, feel comfortable around him, and, well, he’s really cute too. Haha.

So, WIBTA if I keep texting him despite knowing he tends to be avoidant? Should I give him more space, try to communicate my feelings again, or accept that he might simply not want the same things I do? How do I move on from someone I can’t seem to let go of?

I (29M) have always been close to my grandfather. After my grandmother passed away, I started visiting him more often, helping with groceries, appointments, and things around his house. My brother (26M) lives farther away and visits occasionally.

A few years ago, my grandfather told me that he wanted me to have his father's old watch someday. It has been in our family for generations, and I never asked him for it. He brought it up himself several times, so I honestly thought it was something we had agreed on.

Last month, I found out he had given the watch to my brother. When I asked him about it, he said my brother had recently become interested in family history and that he thought the watch would mean more to him now.

I was hurt, especially because I had spent years helping him while my brother rarely showed up. My grandfather said I was keeping score and that helping family shouldn't come with expectations of receiving anything in return.

Here's where things got complicated. My grandfather recently had a disagreement with another relative and needs somewhere to stay for a few weeks. I have a spare room, and he asked if he could move in temporarily. I told him I wasn't comfortable having him stay with me right now. I explained that I needed some time to get over what happened and didn't want to pretend everything was fine. I also said he could ask my brother since he had decided my brother should receive the watch. My grandfather called me selfish and said I was abandoning him over an object. My brother thinks I'm being petty because the watch was never legally mine and he says our grandfather shouldn't have to choose between us. I know my grandfather has every right to give his belongings to whoever he wants. But I also feel like I'm allowed to be hurt and I'm not obligated to open my home while I'm upset with him.

AITA for refusing to let my grandfather stay with me because of what happened with the watch?

My fiancé (30M) and I (28F) are getting married in June. His mom (62F) offered me her wedding dress from 1988. I thanked her politely but said I‘d already found a dress that feels like me.

She didn’t take it well. At a family dinner last Sunday, she announced in front of his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins that I “rejected her dress” and called me “ungrateful.” She said she “wore it for 30 years of marriage” and implied that my refusal was a bad sign for our future.

I sat there frozen. My fiancé said nothing. His aunt changed the subject. I excused myself to the bathroom and cried for ten minutes.

Here’s the context: I tried the dress on privately months ago. It‘s beautiful, but it’s not me. It has shoulder pads, a high lace collar, and a train I’d trip over. I told her this gently. She said, “You can alter it!” I said I didn‘t want to alter a piece of her history. She seemed to accept that. Apparently not.

After dinner, my fiancé told me I should “just wear it to keep the peace.” I said I’m not a mannequin for her memories. He called me selfish.

I’m not trying to erase his mom. I just want to feel like myself on my wedding day. His mom has since texted me twice saying she “prays I reconsider.”

AITA for putting my foot down about the dress?

Me and my girlfriend were having a conversation about which one of us was more black. I was speaking in a jokingly manner and was not being serious. I asked her how many Jordans she had as sort of a joke, she seemed to take things more serious than I did and told me that she grew up in the hood and tougher places than I did. I responded by saying that growing up in the hood is not equivalent to how cultured someone is and how hood culture ≠ black culture. We debated over things and she admitted I was right BUT got upset with me and said that I purposely was out for her and trying to say she was evil and that her way of thinking was wrong. I like debating, in no way did I intend things to turn into an argument. I reiterated what I had been saying earlier, that I did not attack her character but I did disagree with what she said. She was frustrated with me and blamed me for what I did, she then proceeded to hang up on my face for the night around 1:00 AM. I understand that she is upset and said that I was wrong for continuing the conversation and in her words “dragging it out” but when we were debating she was giving me arguments back as well. I am confused and don’t know if I should be upset with her for exploding on me the way she did, but was her reasoning for being upset valid, AITA? (Btw me and her are black, she is light-skin I am dark-skin)

I 28M recently bought my first house after saving for years. My younger brother 25M was one of the first people I invited over, and he seemed genuinely happy for me. A few weeks later he asked if I could give him a spare key. He explained that he sometimes works late and wanted somewhere to relax if he was ever in my neighborhood. I told him I wasn’t comfortable handing out a key just yet but he was welcome to visit whenever we arranged it beforehand. He laughed at first then asked why I was acting like he was a stranger. I explained that I’d spent years saving for the house and wanted to feel that I had control over who could enter it. Things got awkward when our mother found out. She said we grew up sharing everything and that refusing my own brother a key was unnecessarily cold. She also pointed out that he had helped me move some furniture so I should trust him. The situation got worse last weekend when my brother showed up unexpectedly while I was out. He called me several times, then complained in our family group chat that I was making him feel unwelcome. I reminded him that I had never told him he couldn’t visit. I just wanted him to ask first. He said I was treating a simple family favor like a security issue. I love my brother, and I don’t want a spare key to become a reason for us to fall out. But I also think owning a home means I get to decide who has access to it even if they’re family. My mother says I should stop making a big deal out of something so small.

AITAH for refusing to give my brother a spare key to my house?

My wife and I have been married for five years, and we usually get along well. The problem is that whenever she invites her friends over, I somehow end up being responsible for making the evening work.

At first, I didn’t mind. I would order food, clean the living room, and make sure everyone had what they needed. But over time, these visits became more frequent, sometimes with only a few hours’ notice. My wife would tell me not to worry about anything, then get annoyed if the house wasn’t ready or there wasn’t enough food.

Last weekend, she invited six friends over while I was planning to spend my day off fixing a few things around the house. I only found out when she asked me to pick up groceries on my way home.

I told her I wasn’t prepared to host anyone and that she would need to handle everything herself. She said I was making her feel embarrassed because her friends were already expecting to come over. i stayed polite when they arrived, but I didn’t cook or help organize the evening. I went back to my project after saying hello. Everyone seemed fine, but afterward my wife accused me of deliberately making her look bad. i explained that I wasn’t trying to embarrass her. I just wanted her to stop treating my free time as if it automatically belonged to her plans. She thinks a husband should be happy to make his wife feel welcome when she has company and I understand that point to some extent. I’m happy to spend time with her friends occasionally, but I don’t want every visit to become my responsibility. now she says I’m being petty over something that should be normal in a marriage.

AITAH for refusing to help host my wife’s friends when she invited them without discussing it with me first?

My wife and I have been married for four years, and one thing I’ve always struggled with is how often our plans get changed to accommodate her family. For our anniversary this year, I booked a nice restaurant and arranged an overnight stay at a hotel about two hours away. We had talked about doing something special for weeks, and I paid for everything in advance. Three days before our trip, her sister announced that the family was getting together for a birthday dinner on the exact same evening. My wife immediately asked if we could cancel our plans because her parents would be upset if we didn’t attend. I reminded her that our anniversary had been planned first. I also offered to visit her family the following weekend, but she said that wasn’t the same and accused me of making her choose between her husband and her family. I told her I wasn’t asking her to choose. I just wanted her to keep a commitment we had made to each other. She eventually said she would come on the trip, but she’s been distant ever since and keeps saying I’m making her feel guilty for caring about her family. I love her family and usually attend their events, even when they’re arranged at the last minute. But I’m starting to feel like our plans only matter when nothing else comes up. Now I’m wondering if I’m being too rigid about one dinner, or if it’s reasonable to expect my wife to prioritize a special occasion we planned together.

AITAH for refusing to cancel our anniversary plans?

AITA. I'm a 37F and he's a 29M. We've been dating for a year and 7 months, living together for 9 months. He's got a long history of mental illness and I've tried very hard to be supportive. I helped him get health insurance So that he could start seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist. She's on the medications that he needed to be on. And he does therapy somewhat regularly. But he still doesn't have great emotional control. He can be easily triggered and doesn't see how that is the cause of some of our relationship problems. Anytime I try to point out the things that he does to him, he quickly turns it around on me. And says that it is because of something that I did or said. In the beginning, i would justify it in my own mind and say that he was just dealing with his mental health. And I need to be supportive. Over time, this is getting harder and harder to justify because he does not take personal responsibility. He recently got fired from his job. I have always made more money than him and he knows this. Since getting fired, he has made virtually no attempt to find a new job or enroll in school so that he can get his GED. After weeks of unemployment and seeing him spend his time do projects at home or draw or work on his hot wheels, i got frustrated and took matters into my own hands. I began applying to jobs for him, filling out the applications and doing the questionnaires. I was also the one to file for unemployment for him, since he never did it. I also applied to get him into GED classes in our local community college. Again I was the one doing all of this since he took zero initiative to do it himself. He has absolutely no sense of urgency to help me with the growing burden of having to pay everything on my own. I am beginning to resent him. I feel a sense of responsibility to him because I know he has trouble with his mental Illness and he moved from his hometown to be with me. So breaking up with him feels cruel, but my patience is wearing thin. I just don't see how I can possibly grow with someone like him. He's a nice person and has been a very good stepdad to my youngest daughter. But that just isn't enough. I know I want to leave him but it feels like a cruel thing to do, and i'm just confused and scared and feeling very guilty. What should I do?