r/AEWOfficial • u/tokio_luv the bastad pac • 14d ago
Discussion It's okay to mourn Pac.
I hope this is okay to post, because I feel like this is something that needs to be said. I've been seeing posts on places like Reddit and Youtube that mourning Pac is "parasocial". I just wanted to tell every single fan reading this that it's not.
It's okay to be sad that he's gone. It's okay to cry. I don't care how old you are, what gender you identify as, how long you've been his fan, or anything else. Death is not picky. Neither is grief or depression, and I know that first hand; I lost a sibling when I was a teenager, and losing Pac hurts just as bad.
All this to say, don't let bad actors on the internet make you feel like your pain isn't justified. If Pac didn't want us to mourn him, he wouldn't have spent all these years building his legacy and putting on shows for us every single week. He wouldn't have chosen a career that made him beloved to fans all over the world.
You can be sad for him, just like we can be sad for Andy Williams, or any other artists in the world who touched our lives. I will miss Pac every single day, and I hope this post brings comfort to others who feel the same way. I hope you know that you are not alone.
86
u/RaymoVizion 14d ago
Nah this hit me as hard as Guerrero did back in the day. This one sucks for me.
I stopped watching wrestling for a long time basically in the 2010's cuz of college/life etc.
During covid my buddies got me into AEW. We used to watch over discord during lockdowns and PAC was there from when I started watching in 2021 and quickly became one of my favourites because of his skill and work in the ring. Everytime I saw him on the card I knew it was going to be a good match. I'm the same age as him as well so he was kind of my guy these last few years.
Reading Tommaso's tribute this morning I just had to take a breather. It's a lot. This one really sucks. I loved the Bastard. Guy was made for wrestling and had no ceiling.
It's not parasocial to mourn the loss of someone who brought you a lot of happiness and joy. I popped everytime his entrance music played.
RIP PAC. You're missed.
7
u/StoneGoldX 14d ago
I apologize in advance for posting this in reply to you, but what you wrote got the gears that were already turning in my head to spin a little faster and I really need the release.
My problem is the opposite number. You mention Eddie, but the lack of any real information has the other guy that died at the same time stuck in my head. And there is zero information that anything improper has happened, but there is zero information, and I am ashamed to admit that it is making my brain spiral a bit as I am processing that this has actually happened still.
I'm keeping the wording vague and hidden mid-way down a thread because I don't want anyone thinking this is actually real, it's just where the lack of information is taking my brain. I feel like writing how I feel might exorcise some of the worst demons of it.
8
u/RaymoVizion 14d ago
I understand and that's normal. Regardless of the circumstances he's gone and a lot of us loved the guy. The circumstances don't matter to the living.
Try not to dwell on the how. We'll know eventually but it doesn't change the feeling of loss.
4
u/StoneGoldX 14d ago
Thanks for understanding. I honestly do feel released somewhat having let it out.
96
u/DoubleOScorpio67 14d ago
I have been a wrestling fan for 40 years. It always hurts when we lose a good brother or sister. Some hit worse than others. It is a natural thing to mourn when something or someone that we care about is gone. Thats what makes us human. It is not a bad thing to care. And no one should tell others how they should feel loss. It is a deeply personal thing. Do what you need to do, so that you can move forward.
30
u/CoppertopTX Owner - Paw Elite Wrestling 14d ago
Add 20 years, that's how long I have been a fan. My grandparents took me to shows as a babe in arms; next May marks 60 years since my first appearance as a Rosie in the garden at ringside. Pat Patterson turned on Ray Stevens so they could work singles and I was promised ice cream if I slapped the man that tried to kiss me. Pat kissed my cheek, I slapped his face and he had real heat from the still photos alone.
Cherish their memory. Please accept a hug from an old Rosie that masquerades as an internet auntie. I still miss Uncle Pat.
11
u/Corteran 14d ago
You've got about 10 years on me as a fan and I love seeing other 'old timers' here! I never got to see Patterson since I was in AWA territory growing up but I clearly remember wondering how people could hate Ray Stevens when he was just so much better than almost anyone else, and I was so happy when he turned on Heenan and Bockwinkel!
Sadly this past few weeks has brought back the memory of the mid-80's when it felt like we were constantly losing stars like David VonErich, Jay Youngblood, Andy Kauffman, Mike VonErich, and the one that hit hardest for me since I'd met him many time and was from where I live, Scott Irwin.
I have never and will never feel shame when I have cried over my heros or villians in wrestling and I didn't feel them yesterday. I shed tears for his family and friends, I shed tears for what Andrade could be going through. I shook Bobby Heenan's hand with tears on my face at an event in my hometown in 2016, cried at his passing, and to this day have never watched his WWE HOF speech with dry eyes.
PAC was a fantastic wrestler and performer and deserves the accolades and the mourning and no one should be shamed or mocked for it.
I'm not going to link anything but anyone in your life similar to, supporting, or condoning the festering cancerous boil on the asshole of humanity that is Val Venis please cut them from it.
Rest in peace, PAC and my heartfelt condolences to all that knew and loved him.
10
u/jblough 14d ago
About 65 years for me starting at about age 4. We've seen a lot go. It's really sad when they are still young
10
u/CoppertopTX Owner - Paw Elite Wrestling 14d ago
I worked for the old WCCW territory out of the DFW area in 84-86. Even stayed out at their place in the Lake Dallas area. I was asked to go and take my kids with me to help Doris Adkisson on the admin side while she mourned her second son, known to the world as David Von Erich. I've been there, and it's why I got out of that industry.
8
u/jblough 14d ago
The Von Erich story is the saddest in the history of wrestling
8
u/CoppertopTX Owner - Paw Elite Wrestling 14d ago
Absolutely. They needed to stop, heal and take a breath; instead they were sent a 22 year old bookkeeper with a rich old man's checkbook in her pocket and a couple of toddlers because the show must go on.
5
u/jblough 14d ago
When all that was going on WCCW was one of my main watches, they never even paused.
Old me blames Fritz 100%
4
u/CoppertopTX Owner - Paw Elite Wrestling 14d ago
Young me blamed Fritz as well. They needed to walk away for a minimum of 6 months, and if they had, the other boys might have lived. But, do you think they listened to a young woman in that old boys club?
5
u/jblough 14d ago
I doubt Fritz listened to anybody. My local area was the AWA and Vern Gagne pushed his son as well, but not to Fritz's level
4
u/CoppertopTX Owner - Paw Elite Wrestling 14d ago
I went to Texas after working the AWA "Big Time Wrestling" out of Sacramento. Vern was worse than Fritz.
→ More replies (0)2
43
u/losingstreak838 14d ago
I’ve been feeling silly about it. So I appreciate the post OP. Like I’m at my grown up job telling my co worker in our cubicles I’m having an off day because a wrestler died suddenly right after I watched his last show. Makes me feel like a giant weirdo. I spent all day Sunday watching bits and pieces of All In until I finished it. Then I go to bed and open my phone and see the news. It’s like I just saw him and he’s a super hero, how does that happen?
17
u/tokio_luv the bastad pac 14d ago
Nothing to feel silly about. My coworkers know I love wrestling. I used to show photos of Pac to my coworker who's into sports/bodybuilding and say "that's my favorite wrestler" and she loved it. She saw me posting about his death last night. I'm gonna tell them all about Pac passing when I go back tomorrow. If I had worked today, I would have been a mess.
9
u/Far_Mongoose1625 Fuck ICE 14d ago
Oh, that's a really good point.
The whole thing about wrestling is building up Superheroes and Supervillains, and that's great. But there's a reason no one dies in comics. The whole illusion is that they're indestructible. It's not unreasonable to feel strange when that illusion is broken so brutally.
Look how people reacted at the end of Avengers: Infinity War cause it made them feel so much. And those were movie deaths.
The stigma around pro wrestling is so bad sometimes.
6
u/Most_Performance_574 14d ago
Similar story. I’ve been a little “off” all day. Moving more slowly than normal, staring off into space a lot. Mourning someone you were a fan of is by no means parasocial. It’s a literal life and death circumstance. I’ll get around to watching Pac matches and celebrating the fact that I got to see him be awesome at what he did tomorrow. I’m mourning tonight.
5
u/mysensibleheart 14d ago
This is the hardest bit for me too. Same as when Andy passed. They were here performing, doing what they love so much, then just gone. It's tragic. Big hugs to you buddy.
6
u/Automatic_Walk_4210 14d ago
We are sickos, so we are all a little weird. It’s ok if the world around us does not understand us.
4
u/naranja_sanguina 14d ago
If one of our coworkers saw a performance by a young artist or athlete and that person died less than 24 hours later, no one would question that coworker being upset. It's not silly because it's wrestling.
87
u/HappyMike91 14d ago
I'm still too shocked/surprised by the suddenness of PAC's passing to properly mourn it, at the moment. He was in perfect health before his death and for him to just die feels wrong somehow. I really don't know what else to say about it.
Chad Gilbert (of New Found Glory) died of cancer relatively recently and I'm still sort of processing it. September has been a bad month.
31
u/Black_Metallic 14d ago
"Perfect health" can be deceptive. If you were to look at Eddie Guerrero before he passed, you would have assumed he was in great physical shape.
Hell, my sister just had someone on her team pass away in his 40s. Guy was in great shape, a regular runner, no family history with both parents still alive, and then had a widowmaker heart attack anyway. Spent days on life support without improvement or brain activity, and the family made the choice to pull the plug.
6
u/multiclassgeek 14d ago
Gamer friend of mine, in his mid-30s, was putting in work to get healthy. Better food, better sleep, better exercise, the whole enchilada.
Dropped dead of a heart attack on a treadmill at home.
You never know.
18
u/TheBrockAwesome 14d ago
This is how I feel too. Pac was one of my favorites in AEW and the real sadness hasn't hit me yet. Im still in the shock faze. I know this one is going to hit me hard tho. I saw him wrestle in person a couple times with AEW and enjoyed ever single match I ever seen him in. Death Triangle was one of my favorite factions for a while.
Truly a devastating loss.
5
u/HappyMike91 14d ago
PAC was one of my favourite wrestlers in AEW, even if I never got to see him in person. The Black Arrow and the Brutaliser/Rings Of Saturn were great moves.
6
8
u/tokio_luv the bastad pac 14d ago
I feel you 100% on this. I heard about Chad Gilbert, though I wasn't really a fan of his, I'm sorry you lost him as well. My best friend lost one of her pets last week; that on top of this has been a whirlwind of emotion for me. I hope you'll be okay.
5
u/HappyMike91 14d ago
I wasn't a huge New Found Glory fan, but Chad Gilbert's death still hit me pretty hard.
It's just a lot.
25
u/InevitableTank5108 14d ago
It’s only parasocial when you cross boundaries such as contacting the wrestlers / family and friends. Like OP said, it is ok to mourn the artist and person that they meant to you as a fan.
6
26
u/PFunk224 14d ago
Anyone who judges someone else for having emotions is afraid of showing emotions themselves. And anyone who is afraid of showing their emotions live empty lives. I’ve cried several times in the last 12 or so hours, probably gonna cry some more when I get home from work and read more PAC stories.
We don’t know these people, but we let them into our lives, and our lives are better for it. I’ve never met PAC, but I will miss him regardless of that.
49
u/itmecrumbum 14d ago
if reading a comment on the internet has got you thinking grieving anybody is 'parasocial,' you need to spend less time on the internet.
12
u/RaymoVizion 14d ago
The whole 'parasocial' thing gets misused at the drop of a pin due to streaming culture and social media in general.
The world mourned when Robin Williams and so many other passed. That's not being parasocial. It's being human.
4
19
u/LatterTarget7 “I just can’t get my throat to open big enough!” 14d ago
I definitely cried a little bit. He was one of my favourite wrestlers. He was so entertaining and funny yet serious when he needed to be. But it just feels so weird to watch his last match then he’s gone the next day.
13
u/tokio_luv the bastad pac 14d ago
I've been crying since last night tbh. I didn't watch his last match since I don't normally get the PPVs. Part of me is glad I didn't; I think I'd be in much worse shape if I had. Sending you love.
19
u/Otherwise_Poet_3794 14d ago
I was utterly heart broken when Jay Briscoe passed. I was sad when Brodie Lee, Bray Wyatt, and Butcher passed. I’m absolutely devastated Pac is gone. Please tell your family, friends, and loved ones you love them and give them hugs.
16
u/Black_Metallic 14d ago
This post was how I learned he had passed. I saw the headline and was like, "Wait, why are we mourning Pac? Is this something where people are upset that he hasn't won a world championship yet?"
Well fuck.
14
u/tokio_luv the bastad pac 14d ago
I'm sorry you had to find out this way. If it makes you feel any better, I learned it originally last night from Tumblr 😭 2026 sucks.
36
16
u/luciferslarder A Rowdy 14d ago
And for some, Pac dying opened up the grief gates we'd been close to losing control over as many beloved people have passed suddenly this year.
But yeah, being sad about someone dying and sharing the work they did that you enjoyed is not parasocial. Trying to crash a funeral for someone you never knew beyond their work IS parasocial and if that occurs then the commentors have a point.
Even WWE is issuing statements. People loved Pac and every co-worker he's ever had is saying this.
13
u/BackgroundValue Toxic Spider Enthusiast 14d ago
I'm glad you posted this. I've been emotional about this loss and have been feeling a little self conscious about it because I know I didn't really know Ben, the person. But I know PAC as one of the best wrestlers I've ever seen and became one of my favorite wrestlers.
It's good to know we have a community here where we are allowed to talk about and express out grief. I've fought back tears a few times today and I know it'll all spill out later tonight when I'm back home.
Our Bastard forever, RIP Pac
12
u/tokio_luv the bastad pac 14d ago
If it helps, I didn't know Ben the person either, but as Pac, the wrestler that I've followed for 15 years from promotion to promotion, around the world and back, my favorite wrestler to ever grace my screen. You never have to be self conscious about your grief when I'm around 🫂
14
u/EverdarkRaven 14d ago
This post helped a bit...all day I've felt stupid for feeling sad and tearing up. I don't know why this is hitting me as hard as it is.
8
u/WheelzGaming 14d ago
I was devastated waking up to the news. Just as I was with Bray and Brodie. I care about these wrestlers not just as performers but as people too. Their life had value in mine and that means their death has an effect.
9
u/tokio_luv the bastad pac 14d ago
You're not stupid for feeling sad! Your feelings are as valid as anyone else's.
11
u/Odd-Tradition-942 14d ago
Sorry but this is someone who fucking wrestling the indies for years it's not parasocial when plenty of these people have met him and even if they hadn't fuck them for saying it's wrong to mourn
I just feel like these incidents bring out the best in most people and show you who the absolute stains on humanity are
12
u/lobotomiseme 14d ago
As glad as I am that parasocial relationships are being better understood, the issue is that people totally misunderstand them. The key to parasociality is feeling like you have a personal connection with that person, which of course, we do not. What you DO have though is a personal connection to the persona, and the art that they created. That IS real. Of course we mourn a death of a person we admired, respected. Fuck anyone who says otherwise.
13
u/ThatsBretsRope 14d ago
It's weird. I feel just sort of numb. It's causing me to be in my head quite a bit. Granted, I didn't know him, but I watched him for 7 years now. I watched his match against OC a few times a year. He was two years older than me. I just saw him on Saturday and now he's gone. Fuck, man.
3
u/tokio_luv the bastad pac 14d ago
I feel the same as you 🫂 Pac was only about 9 years older than me. It's hard to think about the fact he's not here anymore.
2
u/xPhoenixJusticex 14d ago
this is how I feel as well. and I don't often get in my head like this.
I think it also doesn't help that I was at the last Dynamite/collision in person. Like I SAW him there, main eventing collision and now he's just...GONE
11
u/stellardecay Sicko Jones 🗡️ 14d ago
Me and my husband are roughly the same age as Pac is... was, fuck, and I just keep thinking about his poor wife getting that phone call 😭
9
u/tokio_luv the bastad pac 14d ago
I've been thinking about his wife all day as well. Like I said in my post, after my brother, I still remember the cops showing up at our door... I'd never wish that on anyone. I pray she's getting the support she needs.
12
u/LosIngobernable Change The World 14d ago
I have never read these type of comments and I’m glad. These people are fuckin weird. No one should tell someone it’s not okay to be sad. Fuxk them.
12
u/YinTanTetraCrivvens No Kings (except Brody, the Mad, and Mick Foley) 14d ago edited 14d ago
As my therapist once told me when I told him about this very subreddit (no names or specifics, don’t worry), there’s nothing inherently wrong with parasocial relationships in and of themselves. So many of our own personal lives are devoid of genuine community and camaraderie, it’s only natural, healthy even, to seek them in online spaces.
What becomes a problem is unhealthy parasocial relationships that turn into obsession, toxicity, tribalism, an inability to form other relationships, on or offline.
The feelings and kinship we feel for our heroes and this online community aren’t less valid just because they’re online and we’ve never met. These feelings are fucking REAL, and we should feel them, not just because it’s healthy, but because it’s the right thing to do because we’re empathetic human beings goddamnit!
Grieve for Ben, and Andy, and Jay, and Brodie, and Peter Cullen, and Tim Curry, and Dolly Parton. These people were a part of our lives, our community. Just fucking grieve them and remember what they did for us.
12
u/SpeccyBeard 14d ago
I look at it the same as when a beloved actor dies. None of us 'knew them' because we only see them through a screen or whatever, but we loved their work and could appreciate their talent. They are entertainers after all, so you naturally form a love and respect for them as you watch their career grow and you support them more and more. Its perfectly normal to mourn them.
Especially so in this case because 40 is far too young to die, coupled with the fact it is soo sudden and he literally wrestled for our enjoyment 48 hours ago. Terrible loss :(.
10
u/Radiant_Indignation Cleveland Sign Lady 14d ago
Pac, from the beginning, was one of my favorite guys to watch. I know life is complicated and bad things happen, but this feels like the universe being especially cruel. The loss is absolutely real.
11
u/BirthdayCheesecake 14d ago
I hear this, so much. I'm in a weird place in life (between perimenopause really hitting hard and just some other things that are changing rapidly, I am very grateful for my great therapist!), and it feels like one of the only things I have that isn't in a weird stage of flux is wrestling. Losing Pac is hitting me hard because it proves that nothing is consistent, nothing is forever. A 40 year old who is at peak athleticism can be here one day and gone the next.
11
u/multiclassgeek 14d ago
If someone's work has affected you in any way, it's not parasocial to express what you feel.
Pic related from an author who, quite literally, reshaped the way I think about everything
2
u/YinTanTetraCrivvens No Kings (except Brody, the Mad, and Mick Foley) 14d ago
I have found that in dark times, Sir PTerry has been a constant source of comfort.
2
29
u/BarvoDelancy 14d ago edited 14d ago
Of course it's parasocial. PARASOCIALITY IS NOT A BAD THING. It's the description for the relationship from fans to entertainers/writers/etc. Excessive parasociality is.
I followed this guy's career for well over a decade and have seen dozens, if not hundreds of his matches. Of course I'm mourning him.
edit: I'm wrong. Parasociality is not all fan/performer relationships it's the false belief in them being a friend or partner. Howeve,r it's still okay to mourn Pac.
34
u/Far_Mongoose1625 Fuck ICE 14d ago
Sorry to be a pedant but parasociality is a bad thing. It's not the usual relationship between fans and artists, it's convincing yourself that you know someone that you don't. No number of years watching an act can substitute actual knowledge of the person underneath the character.
That said, you can absolutely mourn the loss of someone you barely know. The hardest and most uncontrollably I've ever cried at someone's death was a guy I used to play cards with. I knew absolutely nothing about him, except he was really good at cribbage. But grief is inexplicable that way.
Sometimes it's about what you lost. Sometimes it's about the reminder of mortality. Sometimes it's just a shock. It's healthy. Let it come.
11
6
u/H16HP01N7 Woah, Stokely gets no hoes 14d ago
This is why fans saying good bye hasn't made me cry about losing Pac. But watching Marina speak about it did. She knew him. Loved him. Trained with him.
19
u/NemODevO (NOT DICK) 14d ago
I just have to say stay off the Facebook comment sections because I want to rip people a new one on some of the things I've been seeing
17
u/tokio_luv the bastad pac 14d ago
The reddit here and Tumblr is the only place I'm currently reading comments about Pac; anywhere else makes me feel the need to start screaming.
3
u/gate_of_steiner85 14d ago
The comments on IG have been mostly respectful. It's mostly FB where I'm seeing the idiots.
1
u/tokio_luv the bastad pac 14d ago
Unfortunately I've seen a few on IG. There seems to be people arguing "what his last appearance on TV was" and calling each other names over it 🙄
7
u/notreallykatie 🏠 Swerve’s House 🔥 14d ago
Oh I straight up have to avoid Facebook when anything like this happens. The worst of the worst always reveal themselves in the comment sections.
6
u/Chris_Bagel_Jr 14d ago
FB is horrible.
It also drives me up the wall when naive people use FB (or Youtube) comments as a form of data or consensus (instead of something anecdotal) for their perception of a product, politics, game, wrestling or movie. It’s always the opposite of what people think.
8
u/BlueBrands 14d ago
I keep on seeing videos of him from the weekend and and others of him walking out with the death riders, I think I'm going to be broken for a bit when they come out on Wednesday without him. It still doesn't seem real to me.
9
u/Sockcucker69 14d ago
Saying that you're not allowed to feel bad for his death is like saying you're not allowed to be happy for his life & career. Just silly.
Feel as bad as you need to. We all do on our own way.
8
7
u/Comprehensive_Slip71 14d ago
Cried a little this morning, he was one of my favourites. It's absolutely fine to feel the loss and anyone that says otherwise is a cunt
14
u/FaceTimePolice 14d ago
Parasocial? How apathetic are the people who say things like that?
9
u/tokio_luv the bastad pac 14d ago
Unfortunately I've been seeing a lot of nasty things cropping up since last night about his death. I'm guessing most of them aren't wrestling fans but people who see a tragedy and leap to make things worse. And unfortunately, some are wrestling fans telling people they shouldn't be crying because they're men/they're a certain age/etc. It's disgusting.
7
u/Wintermewtwo 14d ago
I fully admit this one's hitting harder than most. I've been dealing with some personal deaths this year and wrestling had been good escapism from that up until Butcher and now Pac. So now comes figuring out where to go when tragedy comes to your escape from tragedy.
7
u/JamoOnTheRocks 14d ago
I also think it’s normal to want to understand more about his passing. Not the same as spreading misinformation or speculation. Kinda spiraling hitting refresh looking for more answers…
2
u/tokio_luv the bastad pac 14d ago
I've been the same.
7
u/JamoOnTheRocks 14d ago
Had a very funny interaction w PAC at All Out and now he’s gone. It’s crazy.
3
u/tokio_luv the bastad pac 14d ago
I'd love to hear about it if you want to share!
6
u/JamoOnTheRocks 14d ago edited 14d ago
At one point during the show he was fighting into the crowd as a way to exit .. they get to the exit and his eyes get real big and yells at security “HERE?” Bc he assumed it would be clear of fans but it was full of VIPs (tan dudes in jaguars gear + suits). You could see the “what the fuck?” Look on his face. Had to be there moment…but we all cracked up.
6
6
8
u/propernounTHEheel 14d ago
The man gave us Real Graps™ and the loss of Real Graps™ is to be mourned. /s
I'm sorry if that's too insensitive a joke, I'm still having a hell of a time processing this one.
6
u/Automatic_Walk_4210 14d ago
I have already cried twice over his loss, and already know that whatever Toni will do to honor his memories, will make me cry again.
Get your tissues ready, we are all going to get emotional. Or at least, I know I will.
6
u/brokendream78 13d ago
These people gave their bodies to entertain us. Its natural to mourn. Simple mourning is not enterIng the realm of paranormal. Anyone judging you for being upset by a loss of a live is an asshole period.
6
u/DevilsAdvocate1662 14d ago
Parasocial or not, if you were a fan of his, you lost someone that made you happy, someone you may have idolised. Someone who you loved watching perform in the ring.
It hurts more because it doesn't feel like 2 minutes since we lost Butcher.
7
u/hamsolo19 14d ago
I just feel so bad for the roster and crew at AEW. Yeah, Andy hadn't worked there for a bit but was obviously still close to so many people still there. Then they run the Rebel Heart show, and now out of nowhere they suddenly lose Pac.
I dunno why the universe felt the need to kick us in the nuts like this. And of course all you hear about Andy and Pac is, "these dudes were awesome wrestlers but even better humans" so that just makes it even shittier.
6
u/TweeKINGKev 14d ago
I mourn his passing openly, even telling my non wrestling fan coworkers about it and most of their reactions were “oh that sucks” I don’t expect a sympathetic reply back to me, it’s not as if I knew Pac personally but something that sounded a bit more compassionate would have been nice.
I’m going to mourn the fact that we will only now be able to watch amazing Pac matches in the past and will never see anything new from him, this is just depressing.
I obviously am curious to know but I’m not going out searching for any possible reasons, when there’s official word, however long it may take, that’s fine.
It natural to want to guess as to the reason…undiagnosed heart condition, something hear related that literally just happened even though there was no previous evidence of anything wrong, an aneurysm that you just drop dead and never feel a thing, then the obvious stuff non wrestling fans always immediately jump to “because they all do it” but I won’t think of that as a reason as to why.
We all mourn the loss of the man and grieve with his family and his friends, maybe not as heavily as them but heavily enough for ourselves.
Rest In Peace you B…………………….stard Pac, we love you.
5
u/not_a_moogle 14d ago
There's nothing wrong with grieving the death of anyone. Be it family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, or even strangers. Those people had lives and were individuals that made the world a better place in their own little way.
7
u/SearchCivil6623 14d ago edited 14d ago
The last time something like this hit me this hard the experience was nearly the same. October 4th, 1997 I went to a WWF house show in St. Paul, MN and saw Brian Pillman wrestle Goldust. The following day I learned he had passed away. He was one of my favorites and one day I watched him wrestle and the next day he's gone. I was at All Out on Saturday and the next day I hear the news about Pac, who being a new fan of AEW was one of the guys that immediately became a favorite. It's such a gut punch watching someone you admire the work of wrestle a match one day that you appreciated and the next day they're gone.
2
u/tokio_luv the bastad pac 14d ago
I'm so sorry you had to go through that twice. My heart goes out to everyone who watched him wrestle at All Out and has to live through this now.
5
u/TheGiftOf_Jericho You just made the list! 14d ago
People who have an influence on you, who have entertained you, inspired you (etc.) Will naturally make you feel a connection, that's normal.
The word "parasocial" has reached that point where some people say it and don't understand it. This isn't parasocial behaviour.
So yes, process it, he was a fantastic performer who entertained us for many years. We can also celebrate the person he was behind the character based on those that knew him.
So yeah, don't feel loke you need to justify or apologise for your feelings, that's just called being human being.
8
u/Yourmomdrums 14d ago
I watched a video this morning of Marina talking about his passing at a wrestling event last night and I am not okay. These aren't just characters on a screen. They're human beings who have touched lives. You have to be pretty damned cold not to feel something.
7
u/tokio_luv the bastad pac 14d ago
I've seen a bit of Marina's video but I couldn't watch it. Lance's either. It just makes it feel more real.
6
u/Yourmomdrums 14d ago
Marina's is raw as hell and absolutely heartbreaking. She's just lost one of her best friends. Lance's is remarkably uplifting, about Moxley's advice to him to continue wrestling on in Pac's name. I cried my eyes out for both, and hell, I'm crying just thinking about them, but I'm glad I watched them.
4
u/el_pieablo 14d ago
When Stan Lee died I felt that. Just because you dont know the person irl, you can still mourn them
4
u/Prefer_Not_To_Say 14d ago
I think those people don't know what "parasocial" means.
Yeah, it's okay to mourn Pac. I don't normally feel affected by "famous" deaths but this one hit me. I wouldn't be as passionate about wrestling as I am if not for Pac. His death just doesn't seem real. The news came out right before I went to bed, so I didn't get much sleep last night. I've just been refreshing pages all day, reading some stories that make me sadder and other stories that make me happier because of how fondly he's remembered.
4
u/Impressive-Dream8929 14d ago
My friend is a university lecturer, runs seminars with these students over the 3 years they're there, small groups of 12, probably has 120 students or so a year. He told me that when they leave and go off into the world, they leave his life and he sometimes thinks about them, but they're off just living their own lives and on occasion he has "I wonder what X is up to now?" Then 10 seconds later, it's gone.
One day, he saw a familiar face on the news, 25 year old killed by a drunken driver. It fucked him up a little bit, that was a former student of his. He'd not thought of "John" since he left uni 4 years earlier, he wasn't even particularly close to him when he was there, but as far as he knew, the guy was off living his life, backpacking, working or whatever. Took him a few weeks to get it out of his head.
What I'm saying is, if someone leaves our lives, there's still potential for them, they're off somewhere still going, but if someone we know of, even a celebrity, suddenly dies, there's a sense of finality and mortality that can be really hard to handle. It's completely normal and human to struggle with it a bit, I'm not talking building a shrine or anything, but loading up some old matches, sticking the AEW title on his action figure/video game character or adding his utter banger to your gym playlist*, totally fine. Or maybe I'm parasocial too!
*yes, Hayter Rave, Adam Cole and Kenny Omega are all on my gym playlist, as well as Sting and Edge's tracks.
3
u/KnightOwl1408 14d ago
WTH is parasocial? FFS, I hate that the internet keeps giving me homework. 🤦🏽♂️
ANYWAYS…RIP PAC. Truly one of the best to ever lace them up. Did they announce the cause of death yet?
3
u/tokio_luv the bastad pac 14d ago
"Parasocial" kind of means like, following celebrities home or harassing their family or things like that, that you shouldn't be doing to someone just because they're famous. But some people basically use it to mean "caring about any celebrity in any capacity". Like, people will say watching movies just for certain actors is parasocial. Lmao. The word has lost its meaning.
And yeah, they said he was found unconscious in his car and was pronounced dead after, though they haven't said from what :(
7
u/wraithlling 14d ago
(hope this is a safe space) I am not super young, in my late 20s, but this is one of the first times someone I was a fan of has passed. Been feeling really conflicted because I know I don't know the man personally, you know? So I'm confused at how shocked and sad I've felt. Having watched All Out just the day prior, the show really wont be the same without him. I always looked for and forward to his matches. I just really hope his friends and family are okay.
9
4
u/tokio_luv the bastad pac 14d ago
This is definitely a safe space, and I totally get what you're saying. I'm in my 30s and it's never easy. I still remember the pain I felt when Cameron Boyce and Jack Perry's father, Luke Perry, passed away. I had to go to work those days and I was so depressed, and I just kept crying when I came home. It's the same for Pac. It's never easy no matter what age you are.
3
u/Different_Meaning811 14d ago
I was 15 when Eddie Guerrero died. This was around the time when you could just start watching full videos on the web. I kept watching the Johnny Cash cover of Hurt with Eddie Guerrero highlights and cried like a baby. My mother had to come check on me.
3
3
u/ChaseWasHisName 14d ago
There is nothing wrong with mourning the loss of someone who clearly had a big enough impact on your life and so many others. It comes in all shapes and sizes.
This world can always, always, always use more empathy and reflection. And for those who want to judge others based on their emotions “making them weak,” I hope you find something to connect to with as much heart as wrestling fans.
PAC was so fun to watch. An incredibly talented, world-class performer and from those who knew the man behind the bastard, a truly wonderful human being.
Thanks for every match, every Black Arrow, every stare down entrance. We will miss you!
3
u/Umbreonite17 14d ago
Wrestling is just one of those things where the relationship with fans is so important and intertwined. I genuinely cannot stop thinking about it. First thing that popped in my head as soon as I woke up. Can’t imagine what those close to him are dealing with
3
u/A-yo-Hov 14d ago
I never knew the man personally but I know that when I watched him perform it was always something amazing. I'll never be ashamed to express that. It makes me sad that he's gone because we're all losing out on on someone who had a lot more left to give to the world. It's just sad.
3
u/Original-Impression1 14d ago
Pac was one of my favourite wrestlers. I followed his career since his NXT days and i was super excited when he showed up in that first AEW press conference. I became really emotional today morning when i learned about his passing and wasn't able to eat properly throughout the day. It felt like someone close to me passed away. The last time a celebrity death hit me hard was when Chester Bennington died. I am feeling better now. This week's Dynamite is going to be extremely emotional. RIP The Bastard.
3
u/MyKindofParty16 14d ago
Yeah. It’s okay to mourn. More than okay. It’s natural.
I’ve watched PAC both live and on TV for 19 years. It won’t be the same without him.
3
u/gmoss101 Ω BATTLE CRY Ω 14d ago
I grew up watching him and enjoyed his work when I rediscovered my love of wrestling. Fuck what anyone says about it.
3
u/Snoo_76437 Nigel bullying Tony 14d ago
This is hitting me hard, i remember his Sami Zayn feud in NXT so well, i remember watching this mans top ten moves highlights repeatedly on Youtube, his matches with OC, the three way match with OC and Kenny, him losing the belt to OC in Toronto live. It was hard to say the words out loud to tell my wife when i saw this last night. Im crying now, again, truly will miss this man so much.
3
u/thegame850 14d ago
I always looked forward to shows when Pac is on them. He was impressive in the fed as Neville and I loved his character and his work in AEW. I hear all these stories from fans on how he touched their lives and I feel so much for his family and friends. I'm so heart broken cause he is one of my top favs in aew.
Rip Pac you will be missed and thank you for being he bastard that you are and giving us all those years of your blood, sweat and tears. I will never forget you.
3
u/EatADickStraightUp 14d ago
I'm closer to 40 than not. I feel so sad for all of his friends and family. This used to be common in the 90s but now it seems surreal for anyone to die so young. Such a great talent and so charismatic. Bummed.
3
u/Lady_Kitty82 christmas ham of a man 14d ago
Thank you for posting this. It's been a tough day but I cannot imagine what the locker room and pac's loved ones are going through right now. Let's be kind to one and other
3
u/tidderphil 14d ago
Not ashamed to admit this 48 year old shed a tear this morning as I read the news and then started catching up on All Out.
3
u/Jamericho 14d ago
People cry at tv shows ending and characters dying in Shows or Films. People cry when theor favourite athlete dies. Why would it be any different than your favourite wrestler?
This hasn’t quite hit me yet. It doesn’t feel real. I think this is going to hurt just as much as Eddie & Bray did.
3
u/DurMonAtor 13d ago edited 13d ago
I'm just hoping it'll be like Dallas and we'll wake up one day and it'll all be a dream and he'll be alive and well again.... Obviously never going to happen but I can hope, right?
Will miss that Geordie bastard!!
2
u/Drew-Cipher 14d ago
Made the jump to AEW after this years Wrestlemania. Pac was always a standout for me. Never had a bad match, a generational talent. We loved his final match and when we heard the news the next day it didn't feel real. RIP Pac and thank you
2
u/Eevee_the_pup 14d ago
I believe that it’s not just “parasocial relationships” or “someone famous/on tv” that this needs to be said for. If you read an article about someone in a city across the world from you getting into an accident and dying, or maybe an animal that was hurt, or any number of other sad things, it’s okay to feel sad in that situation too. You don’t have to know someone, a lot or a little or at all, to feel sad when you learn of their passing. It is called empathy for another life, for the lives they may have impacted, for the people that did know them and love them. Obviously, some people will grieve more than others, but whatever you feel is ok and you should not judge yourself or others for their reaction. Emotions are part of being human, are part of all living beings, and those that want to deny that, in themselves or others, are the only “wrong” ones.
2
2
2
u/HoagieTwoFace 14d ago
I wasn’t watching when Eddie Guerrero died but I’d imagine this what it feels like
2
u/Vox_SFX 14d ago
I have not cried but this fucking sucks so bad...I've been a fan for decades and only been to a handful of shows, even less spending money to meet some celebrity/star at the event.
First time I ever did it was with my wife at an AEW show and we got to do a meet & greet with one person...and we chose Pac because he was absolutely amazing and someone we thought if we have a chance to meet him and just tell him how amazing he is and thank him for what he's given back to fans in how he went about everything he did...then that's at least something I'd hoped he'd appreciate.
We got a signed picture of him and said our piece...the man should've been a world champion and been someone able to retire and live life how he wanted afterwards...this just isn't fair for both Andy and now Pac to have life ripped away.
While I'm spilling some emotions, I'll use the same thoughts to again lament how corporatized and money-focused everything has gotten in the world as a whole...WWE had a star as well that they lost not because they didn't know his talent or how good of a person he was...this is bigger than Brodie Lee in my mind and there should be no company lines or borders in the industry during this mourning period...yet WWE answers to TKO shareholders now so that's likely a pipedream for Pac to get the true focus like he deserves...
2
u/CeefaxCat 14d ago
I didn't know Pac but I've watched 15+ years of his career so in my technical terms, that's knowing somebody because you've seen them regularly perform to the highest level. I've been sad today because he was a wrestler I enjoyed watching
mourning somebody doesn't make you weak, it makes you human
2
u/toodarkmark 14d ago
Thanks it did. I'm having a tough time with it and more then I've ever had with a wrestling related death.
2
u/nachoian 14d ago
I did cry late last night after finally processing it and had trouble going to bed, haunted by the idea of Pac being gone after literally just seeing him, and how the roster must feel through all of this tragedy. I’ve cried over other artists before, namely Neil Peart and Malcolm Young. I don’t see why simply crying for an artist is parasocial, I think people toss that around a bit loosely sometimes.
2
u/el_toro_grand 14d ago
Who cares if it's parasocial, he was human, he was real, I saw him with my own eyes a few feet from me on Saturday this shit hurts
2
u/ReallyAlexRider 14d ago
My brother passed in January. He had introduced me to wrestling. This is bringing it all back
2
u/ReallyAlexRider 14d ago
It's worse now. My brother died slumped over in his car
1
u/tokio_luv the bastad pac 14d ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. My brother's death month is also January (albeit years ago now) and he was in his car too, in a car accident 🫂 Sending you hugs.
2
u/StaticSocks 14d ago
Getting into AEW in the early covid lockdown days gave me something to keep looking forward to. I was so sick for so long and my chronic illness went from manageable to completely debilitating during that time. Pac made me fall in love with wrestling. Seeing him perform sparked something in me and kept me motivated. I am crying harder over this loss than I thought possible for someone whose art and work I love.
2
u/be_es 14d ago
thanks for this OP. It feels like its been sinking in all day and I’ve felt like an idiot when I think about saying that it’s throwing me off
Seeing Andy Williams and Benjamin Satterley show their talents and qualities on AEW made me truly fall in love with pro wrestling again and I’ll never forget them. This goes for so many in AEW. I don’t think it’s parasocial but it’s hard to explain the attachment after being a follower since pre-pandemic. We the fans have been living history together.
Fly high bastard ❤️
2
u/kevmo35 14d ago
My chest felt so heavy when I first read the post on here, I had to get up from my seat and take a walk. I could only imagine how his family and friends are feeling, and especially with how soon after Andy Williams passed. It’s been a really difficult couple of weeks for wrestling fans, but the wrestlers still go out there and put on a brave face not just for the fans, but for their peers too. I hope everyone mourning can find some peace wherever they can.
Give your loved ones a hug.
2
u/Berzerker-Barrage Killer Kadoogan 14d ago
Probably also “not supposed to” call in to work because you’re so bummed after his passing but here we are. RIP Bastard ❤️
2
u/WasACookqua 14d ago
I have been sobbing on and off all day. I dont know why his passing has affected me this much.
The memorials are so lovely too.
2
2
u/Murky_Cucumber2196 14d ago
Quite right, you can't help how you feel. Usually, I am not affected by famous people I didn't know dying, but I did feel affected by this death.
2
2
u/rickcaron 14d ago
Shortly after I started watching AEW is when he started. I’ve always felt an affinity with him because of it. His style reminded me of why I watched wrestling in the first place. He was way too young. It hit me harder than any other wrestling death
2
2
2
u/DFC490201 13d ago
I lost my dad suddenly 4 years ago (on September 30).
I did not watch All Out live, but caught it the next morning. When I saw just hours later that Pac died, it impacted me in a way that I never would have expected. This time of year brings up all sorts of unpleasant memories for me, both conscious and subconscious. I didn't know Pac personally, and I had very little knowledge of his background other than that he was a hell of a wrestler. But the news of his sudden death rocked me to my core.
Parasocial relationships are not inherently bad; they are examples of the human need for connection and community. Grieving someone together, even someone most of us had never even met, strengthens our humanity and helps us try to make sense of this nonsense world.
2
u/FarEvidence123 13d ago
No one should disregard anyone's feelings - period the end! They may not agree with you but your feelings are valid and no one has the power to take that away from you - unless you want them too.
2
u/ZealousidealCrazy673 12d ago
I didn’t know him at all. Never met or spoke to the man. Was a big fan of his work, looked forward to seeing his matches, felt an empty spot when I heard the news. World is a little darker today, prayers and strength be with his family, friends and coworkers, he will be missed.
4
u/Leninators 14d ago
My best friend just went to Europe on Thursday and won’t be back until at least another week or so.
He loved Pac so much. That’s going to be an awful thing to come home to.
2
u/Cece75 JAY WHITE 🖤 14d ago
Thank you for this post. Last night I felt a bit selfish for crying because I wasn't a close friend or family member. But he meant alot to my husband and I , we watched him when we were WWE fans and were so happy to see him at AEW. This is a tremendous loss and it's been hard losing him and Butcher.
1
1
u/Kshell52 14d ago
I was playing games with my girlfriend last night over discord. During an intermission in our game (Dead By Daylight) I saw the post. I got off call and I cried. Im a 30 yr old man and I cried. Pac was one of my favorites and this hurt. May he Rest in Peace. There will never be another Bastard.
1
u/GOATOspreay 14d ago
This is the hardest a wrestler's passing has hit me in my whole life. I loved PAC especially in the past year.
1
u/Ugh_ItsBrandy 14d ago
He was a real person who entertained us. If you can't feel even the slightest bit of empathy for his family and friends loss, then you have no heart. Its ok to be sad 🖤
1
u/nekromunky 14d ago
Wasn't expecting to think about this half as much as I have been. This one hurts. Dude had his whole life ahead of him.
1
u/shumama813 14d ago
A man died young. A man who looked like a real life superhero died young. By all accounts a good person. I think it makes sense to feel a lot of things about it. It’s unfair. It’s hard to make sense of. Most of us only knew him as fans and I hate to only be able to talk about him through that lens because he is more than a wrestler. Just like we’re all more than our job even though it’s a big part of everyone’s life. No matter how many experiences I have with death both close and far, it’s still hard to make sense of. Bottom line is it’s a sad thing and I think it’s OK to be sad about it. It’s a person who was here for 40 years on this earth and now they aren’t. He brought us all a lot of joy up until the end and he had so much more to do. Yea, I think it’s OK to be sad about it.
1
u/Accomplished_Bid7695 14d ago
my first match being able to finally afford to see him was his last on saturday 😭🧍🏽♀️my gosh my heart goes out to everyone mourning right now
1
u/GoalSimilar2025 14d ago
PAC was one of my favourites in AEW, losing my Mum after us knowing she had cancer for a few weeks last year really ruined my life. One of the things I love is television as a form of escapism and AEW gives me that (amongst other shows).
To see such a specimen of a man here today and gone tomorrow is deeply unsettling and (I hate to say it) triggering for me.
I mourn PAC and also what he represented to me.
1
u/poop_snausages 14d ago
I don't think it's parasocial for someone you only know through their art or media coverage to inspire any type of feeling in you.
It's parasocial when we assume that they have some type of feeling towards despite having no idea we exist.
It is absolutely 100% ok to mourn him, and the loss that the whole wrestling community is experiencing, so thank you for posting this.
1
u/ManufacturerCute7114 14d ago
When I found out, I immediately told my daughter. We just held each other and wept. I agree it is okay to mourn for him. The wrestling community is a family and it hurts to lose a member. RIP Pac 😔 💔
1
u/tokio_luv the bastad pac 13d ago
Just posting to say I'm glad we're all here to support each other. I told my coworker today what happened and she gave me a hug. I feel a little better now but I still miss Pac like crazy. Sending much love to all you sickos here.
1
u/zoyyamusic 12d ago
Yeah I'm actually devastated by his passing, this is unfair and sad and ugh I'm gonna miss that incredible artist.
1
u/Skylencer88 14d ago
Parasocial? I thought it was just being human.
I don't think there's anything wrong with mourning the death of a public figure especially if that figure had a great influence in your life.
I felt a deep sense of sadness when Chester Bennington passed. I cried when Charlie Kirk was murdered (unpopular here I know but this is not about that). And now I'm just utterly shocked and saddened by PAC's sudden passing. All three men to a degree had influence in my life. LP was my childhood. Kirk shaped my political views. PAC was my favorite AEW wrestler and second favorite overall after Punk.
I mean, I remembered jumping out of my seat when PAC won the inaugural All-Atlantic title at Forbidden Door. Every now and then, I always go back to his triple threat championship match at Double or Nothing vs OC and Omega. If I can feel that amount of joy upon seeing a public figure succeed, then it's only logical that I would feel a degree of sadness if they passed.
I was just thinking recently about how I wish I would see PAC hold the world title someday. Now we'll never ever get the chance to see that.
548
u/shawarmadaddy83 14d ago
Nobody should ever be afraid to shed tears at the passing of an artist. Full stop.