We got him from a rescue six years ago. They told us he was probably 5 or 6, and for the first month in our apartment, he barely made a sound. Eventually, he came out of his shell and became the sweetest dog in the world to us.

He ended up having some serious issues with other dogs and eventually people. He was extremely leash reactive and over the years there were a few incidents where he bit us, a stranger at a donut shop, and my mom. We worked with him but he never really learned to trust the world outside of us two.

Then we had a kid, and we had to balance them both. He bit him about 6 months ago, and then last week they somehow crossed paths while he was rummaging the garbage can and our son was seriously bitten in the face. It was an ER trip for 70-80 stitches.

So we scheduled it and today we had to put him down.

I understand why, but that doesn't make it any easier. I feel terrible for my kid, who will have scars from this for the rest of his life, and I feel terrible for my boy. He wasn't a bad dog. He loved us a ton and just struggled with almost everything else. With us he was just super chill and awesome

I can't believe this morning we had breakfast, went for a ride, went to the river, went to the vet, and then went home without him. He was getting older, but we lost out on another year or two with him.

The hardest part was knowing while he had no idea what was coming. I'm really going to miss the big guy.

I am so traumatized today. In 2024 I adopted a dog from an out of state rescue (Lone Star Pawz) that was billed as "the perfect dog", "great" with kids, cats and other dogs, which were non-negotiable for me because I have all three. Turns out she was great with kids, thank goodness. She annoyed the cat, who promptly moved to the basement, but I've had cats and dogs that weren't exactly best friends before. She liked my other dog, but completely lost her freaking mind when she saw other dogs. She started slipping her leash and attacking. There were never any injuries, but it was terrifying. I got a professional trainer, we got nowhere for a whole year.

That's when I tried to return her to the rescue, a contractual obligation I had agreed to. They said NO. She was "too integrated with our family". I was shocked. I put her on Petfinder with a very honest description, and many people were interested, but in the emailing stage, those prospects all fell through when it was made clear how bad the issues were. I asked followup questions with the rescue, and they said they actually had no information on any past interaction with other animals at all. She had been an only pet of two elderly people who never left their house. I asked "Then what did GREAT WITH CATS AND DOGS mean?". The coordinator said they'd had no reason to think she wasn't (because they never even tried to find out??).

The trainer went out of business, so I got a different trainer. She framed it as anxiety, and we made a lot of improvements there. I took her to a six week reactive dog class and she bombed out spectacularly (even the instructor hated her, it wasn't helpful). I took her to a behavioral vet and she was prescribed medication. I actually made the most progress from my own personal research. I recently got her a collar that beeps if I press a button, and it would bring her out of her frenzies. We also got an invisible fence so there was no chance she would get out and attack another dog.

I was really feeling like we were solving all our problems. Dog reactivity was way down, she ignored the cat, I just thought, wow, this is really working. There was zero pet drama for a very long time.

I felt my cat might be lonely so we got a kitten. I did a very slow introduction with strictly supervised pet interactions starting on day five. The dog would approach the kitten with playful body language, and the kitten would hiss, so the dog started ignoring her, too. She was rewarded for leaving the cat alone. I felt like everything was going great.

Yesterday, although I had closed all the doors to keep them separate while we took the kids to school, when we got home, they were all open (clearly someone opened them while I was at the door sorting the backpacks). I couldn't find the kitten at first. Then I saw her lying in a pool of blood on the floor. The dog had blood on her face. We rushed the kitten to the vet, but she was DOA. I again contacted the rescue and no one would answer me. I left a voicemail and started calling every rescue in the metro area. Not a single one was willing to take her without euthanizing her. The vet recommended euthanasia as well. I consulted my other three vets (we have an orthopedic specialist and fear free clinic for our Pyrenees, plus the behavioral clinic). We really called everyone we could. In the end, Honey was euthanized.

​

Finally the rescue texted me back this morning saying "You can just surrender her to your local pound". Really? I responded respectfully, acknowledging that this particular person was not involved in the adoption or return refusal, that I felt the lack of transparency and the refusal to honor their own contract had caused two animals to die.

They responded that they were sorry for the inconvenience this had caused.

The inconvenience.

THE INCONVENIENCE.

Two dead animals is an "inconvenience" to this "animal welfare organization"!!!

I am so livid. I am beside myself. This is unbelievable. I'm about to go tell this story on every review platform I can find.

Just here to vent. I feel like a horrible person and like I’m failing my dog. My dog is an Australian cattle dog, I got him at 21 and I didn’t have a ton of knowledge going into the adoption.

I have spent the last 6 years, spending thousands on training, toys, vet appointments to help him. But he is just always anxious and has the cattle dog genes which make him stressed.

I started working full time in my career (dealing with addictions and mental health) about two years ago. And I’m just burnt out, I get home and the last thing I want to do is training. Even going for walks is a nightmare because he is barking so much before we can even leave the door. Then on the walk he is anxious and just wants to get home. There’s nothing relaxing about the walks.
So instead we just sit at home and do nothing cause I’m too tired to deal with it. And I’m failing him in every way.

I’m considering rehoming for his and my sake but it’s close to impossible to find him a home that is knowledgeable of the breed and would be able to give him the life he deserves. While also working on his issues. But then I’m also just giving up on him.

I feel horrible and I don’t know what to do. His trainer said due to the complexity of him being a cattle dog (so a strong jaw) mixed with anxiety. We may have to look at behavioural euthanasia since responsible rehoming is going to be hard and it’ll prevent him from being bounced around from home to home.

But also like who am I to take his life. I’m not necessarily looking for advice, just venting my frustration

I have a 6 year old collie mix named Moose that I adopted around 8 weeks old. I got him when I was 19, so right as I was starting college, but this was during Covid so I knew I would have the time to be with him during his puppy stages.

For the first year we were always on farms, around horses cows etc, but after Covid restrictions lifted I moved to Texas. He was in daycare for a year with 0 issues! He did at one point outside of daycare get attacked and has never been the same.

And slowly it’s gotten worse. He has leash activity to humans and dogs and the distance to threshold is increasing rapidly. We could be fully 200+ft away and he’s still “sticky”, pulling and barking. He’s attacked me once over resource guarding as a puppy, lunged for a maintenance man when his leash slipped from my hands two years ago, pinned a dog and snarled in its face and has actively latched on to a family members dog that he’s known for most of his life and had to be drenched with a hose to get to release from said dogs head. He’s always growling at any dog that’s doing something he deems wrong and if you tell another dog “no” he acts like an enforcer and truss to correct them as well, even if you tell Moose to go to his bed. I literally have to separate him until he forgets about the other dog being corrected.

He’s seen two trainers, and saw some improvements, but we moved for my work as I’ve finished school last year and now I’m seeing the issues coming back. It’s to the point where I’m micromanaging every thing I can do with or without him. Oh I can’t go to the park right now, it’s peak dog time, maybe later. I can’t have friends over, he’s unpredictable and can’t be let out of the kennel without me watching with treats in hand. I’m exhausted and I cry a lot, I often mourn what I had envisioned for our lives.

Treats aren’t working, he doesn’t listen or stops taking them, cheese, meats, nothing. I can’t keep upping the reward when he won’t even take them currently. His threshold is so low I can’t work him in almost any environment. I’ve had moments I’m not proud of, using aversion to try to get him to stop any way possible atp. I tried prongs, e collar (noise only or vibrate, no shock) yelling and leash snapping. Obviously none of it helped, I should have never even tried it I know that, I’ve never tried to intentionally hurt him. I was, and still am, just frustrated and was open to anything if it meant maybe I could have my dog back.

And obviously I’m only telling you about the bad and “ugly” sides of him… he’s my soul dog, my cuddle bug, and fur ball. He jumps in the shower when I turn the water on and loves hiking and frisbees. We sit on the balcony and watch the rain together and he loves to watch nature documentaries about lions and birds. He watches me garden and fish, and loves to go hiking and get zoomies in fields. I love this dog with my whole heart and soul (currently ugly crying typing this).

I was reading order people BE posts on this thread and was crying. Trainers are thousands of dollars, and I don’t have another 4k to put towards more training… I feel like I’m running out of options. He’s my soul dog, but I’m also ready for peace.

How did you know it was time? And in my situation would you consider it, or should I still be trying behavioral and counter conditioning training?

Edit: I’m seeing lots of people having their comments deleted, I’d love to see your responses. Could you make sure the rules are checked off first before commenting? I also had it originally a different flair so it might not let you comment without the karma req.

Currently in tears as I write this so please be gentle 😭 I am seriously considering whether BE is our only option. To try and keep it short: we adopted a 1.5year German shepherd male dog, to keep our 8 year bull Arab cross female company. They are BEST FRIENDS. Him more so - she can’t even go outside for a drink with him following her. I would say it’s separation anxiety/ dependency. He was very timid in the first few days. Took him for his first walk which he unprovokingly attacked a small dog passing us - thankfully no injuring but it was a horrible experience. Things got worse: reactivity on walks - lunging and pulling on the lead if he saw another dog, even in the far distance, we have a dirt perimeter around our yard from his Constance pacing and barking at the fence - at the neighbour on one side, or the dog on the other. Barking at the front door if people/dogs pass. We have to keep him behind a baby gate when any visitors come as his bark is scary and he is especially even more wary of males. He hasn’t bitten anyone thankfully, but I am unsure if he has it in him. We are now on our THIRD trainer to try and rectify his leash reactivity but it feels an uphill battle with all of his other issues. We’ve tried positive reinforcement techniques. We have slightly improved his leash reactivity with this current trainer. Our vet has suggested anxiety meds. Our trainer has suggested a barking device. The problems I see: * In the year we have owned him, we have not been able to take him for a proper walk or have groups of friends over. * we have already spent thousands on him, financially we cannot continue as I am currently 15 weeks pregnant working in a casual role * He barks so loud and close to people that my mum is petrified of him and has raised concerns of ‘what’s to come’ * I worry once baby is here, we won’t even be able to have visitors or get enough rest due to barking I feel like owning a second dog was NOT suppose to be this hard 😭 we feel like prisoners in our own home and I have cried so many times in the year we have had him. I don’t feel we can rehome as he genuinely would not cope being separated from our other girl. I’m so torn because he can actually be the cuddliest sweetest goofiest boy and I love him SO MUCH. Please if anyone else has been in this situation I am open to suggestions 😭

I made a post here a few months ago about my dog biting us. He’s now 11 months old. He’s still biting and today we went to the vet to talk about meds and what our options are. She said she doesn’t think meds would help him, that they’d probably make our problems worse. That he’s not biting out of fear or anxiety. Basically she validated everything that’s been running through my head since I got him : he’s not wired right. She said that it will not get better as he gets older, that it’ll probably get worse or just more intense bites.

I don’t know how to explain this to my husband. He works outside the home on swing shift and is gone most of the day. I’m here all day because I work from home. I have done all the training with him. I feel like I see the best and worst of him every day. There are times when he doesn’t bite and he’s great. But some days it’s all he does and he spends a lot of time in his kennel. But he bites someone everyday so really the good times are just fleeting moments. All in all, I’ve done so much work and homework on him because I didn’t want this to be our only option. I always thought “if he only knew how loved he was he wouldn’t do this to us”. Well now I’m more scared than ever, winter is coming to an end. My kids will want to play outside with their friends and even I can’t be outside with him without him trying to rush me.

The vet basically said “my recommendation is behavioral euthanasia” and I agree with her. I’m at the end of my worry rope. My husband thinks more training could help. But the training he’d need is like $2-4k and I don’t know how much more mitigation I can take. I told my husband that if he wants more training he can pay for it and take him himself. It’s all on him. I’ve sunk everything I have into him and I’m ready to call it.

I put my boy to sleep yesterday evening after being encouraged to do so by multiple vet staff, our local shelter, and my family. A few months ago, he began demonstrating reactivity towards other dogs (lunging, snarling, doing anything he possibly could to get to the other dog). There were times he injured me trying to get at a dog while I contained him and got him out of the situation. He is 80lbs of pure muscle, and even though I consider myself very strong, he has nearly overpowered me on numerous occasions. The minute he started behaving reactively, I looked into all the options and began training him to target his reactivity (desensitization, counter conditioning, etc), we tried behavioral medication, I had him assessed by a behavioralist. We went to the vet multiple times. I was told that I was doing everything right for a reactive dog and that if I continued, he would get better. But he didn’t get better, he only became worse. His reactions became bigger and his threshold got lower, despite me working very diligently with him. 3 days ago, he finally went for children. This is new to him and me. He was snarling, lunging, flipping out and trying to free himself from me while I tried to get us out of there. I felt then that we were at a point of no return. The thing is, he never did land a bite. He never attacked. I never let him get to whatever he was focused on when he did have a reaction. He does have a bite history with another dog, but this is before I got him, and I was told that the other dog attacked him and he bit back. I do believe that he was capable of it and was gearing up for injuring a child or another dog, but I just don’t know. I did not give him the opportunity to show me. I took him to the vet yesterday, and presented them with all the information: he cannot safely be outside when he sees another dog, a child, a bicycle, or sometimes just a random person, and he utilizes enormous force to try and get to the trigger. I spoke to our local rescue that morning and they informed me that he is not a candidate for rehoming. They stated that if he wasn’t getting better with me and all the effort I put into him, he would not get better with anyone else. They encouraged me to talk about BE when I took him to the vet later that day. My vet had the same opinion. My parents and sister had the same opinion. My vet stated that he believes my dog was not safe to be in my home anymore. He told me that if I was his daughter, he would make the same recommendation. Everyone was in agreement and we put him down around 4pm. I buried him at the head of our favorite trail on my grandparent’s farm.

I feel immeasurable guilt. While I want to feel like I did the right thing, I’ll never know. The decision was made and I cannot bring him back. I keep thinking that maybe if I gave him more time with more restrictions for safety, he could have turned a corner. I did not completely exhaust all the resources (there were a few other meds we could have tried, another training program I could have enrolled him in, I could have muzzle trained him and never allowed him outside the home without it on) and I chose not to do those things for him because I felt he was a significant danger to others. I was fearful of the risks that he may kill my cats, turn on me, or maul a child based on how quickly and uncontrollably his behavior escalated. I have deep regret for not trying harder or finding some other solution. I also know there was likely no other solution and that keeping him alive was a risk to public safety. But no one knew him like I did. He was a sweet and loving boy. He was my best friend. He just became unpredictable and unmanageable. I do not think he wanted to die. I didn’t give him the choice and killed him anyways. I don’t know how to live with myself now. Reading everyone else’s experience with BE on here has only made it worse. Many people have dogs with severe reactivity for years and multiple bites before they resort to BE. I feel like I barely gave him any time at all. I didn’t give him a chance. Yes, we did all the “right” things: training, meds, controlling the environment, addressing medical needs, etc- but it doesn’t feel like enough. I don’t think I exhausted every possible pathway of treatment, and I should have. I was just too scared that he would hurt someone and everyone else in my life was too.

I don’t know how to live with such a cruel choice. There was so much good in him, and I didn’t give him time, I just ended him. Going forward I want to put out a trigger warning for mental health as the remainder of what I want to say is very heavy. Failing my pup in the short time we spent together (a mere 5 months) is just a bitter, horrible heartbreak. As they put him down I had to hold a hand over my mouth, because I could not stop myself from screaming. I just told him over and over again that I was so sorry. I feel in my heart that I made the wrong decision. I killed my best friend who was sweet to me until the end.

An overwhelmingly lengthy edit:

Thank you to those who have shared kind and thoughtful comments. I do feel more confident that I made the right choice. For those who disagree, it is impossible for you to fully understand the situation without being in it. I told the story as best and as detailed as I can, but also, I just lost my biggest tether to life and the center of my world. So, it is hard to convey all the nuance, all the detail, within such a complicated situation. That makes it easy for outside perspectives to dig in deep, and I don’t blame anyone for that. No one meant to cause more damage. I do, however, regret making this post. I don’t know what I was thinking opening up my story to the public while I am in such a fragile state of mind. I should have made sure I was ready to face criticism, because it has only traumatized me more. However, I do think I’ve gained a little more clarity. None of you knew him or knew me. The details of my life with him is this confusing, painful mess that I am struggling to articulate. That is the material I’m giving you to form your perspectives on. The people who did know and love him- our trainer, my vet and other veterinary staff, family and friends, and our local no-kill shelter- all came to a unanimous conclusion that BE was the best way to proceed. Someone commented that I did not understand his behavior or know if he was really being aggressive, that I had not given him enough time with treatment. That is not true. I believe I did all I reasonably and ethically could even if it doesn’t seem like it to strangers on the internet.

I am coming across as doubtful in my post because I am. I am riddled with self doubt and fear that my decision wasn’t the right one. It is reasonable to doubt the most painful decision you have ever made. Making hard choices always feels wrong. I want it to be wrong, because I want a different outcome. Making a horrible decision with a painful outcome is in direct conflict with my understanding of fairness. The choice I had to make grates against everything I know about love.

The future I wanted for us sits on an imaginative horizon- the blurry, complicated boundaries that separate what is real from what lies beyond. I will forever mourn him and yearn for the future that cannot be.

​

my baby. after 5 years of struggles - training, meds, new training and new meds, his behaviors slowly getting more aggressive over the years, I made the impossible choice after we started getting unpredictable nips in the home.

And it feels awful. this is unreal. i never get to hold him again, I never get to kiss his head or fall asleep with him tucking himself close to my chest. he was a happy and healthy dog, when he wasn't scared. I woke up this morning alone for the first time in 5 years, alone for the first time since I moved out of my parents house (also the first night I got him).

He's been with me through everything and I feel like I abandoned him. his last moments were of being terrified at the vet because he hates the vet, and I can't help thinking he felt like I betrayed him. he always was so scared of the vet and this time he was right to be scared.

i can't imagine what life looks like without him. i regret it so much, my heart hasn't stopped hurting for a second

We’ve made the heartbreaking decision to put our boy down💔

We’ve had him since he was 8 weeks. He is our best friend. At home, with us, he really is the best dog ever❤️ he follows commands very well, he loves training, he loves playing, he will snuggle with me or my husband when we’re alone on the couch. In the early morning he will come to our bed for a little rest before the day begins. He’s been with me through school, sleeping on my lap or laying on my toes, keeping me warm as I read through the night. He’s been with me through 2 pregnancies and maternity leaves, keeping me company and standing by my side through the highs and lows. Sat by my side when nursing in the middle of the night. He’s watch our son grow up. Loves being fed from him, taking treats from him, playing with him and “seek” for treats hidden by him. He reads with us at night and stays beside us when I’m putting my son to sleep. When I started labor with my second born, he would not move from me. Not even for chicken, popcorn or even butter or cheese. Nothing. He was there. He’s been with us on amazing walks in the wilderness, stress free, like he’s always belonged there even though he’s only 18lbs.

This is our dog, the dog that we know. But no one else knows this side of him. He has severe reactivity to dogs in the street and unfamiliar people coming over. He has started resource guarding. And although he hasn’t bitten, although he can send warning signals in the right order, and although we have done extensive managing and training, he will never change. It’s a breeding problem that we didn’t know about. It’s his DNA, literally. We have two small kids, they need to be able to have friends over. We need to be able to take them camping and doing some travel, have a babysitter over. They need a normal childhood. And so we’ve made this heartbreaking decision, in cooperation with our vet and behavioral therapist.

I can’t believe that I won’t hear his “pitter-patter” again, not his exciting playful barks, not his grumpy growl when he isn’t getting what he wants. The sigh when he’s comfortably laying with his belly up. That I won’t touch his furry, curly coat, won’t get a sympathy lick when I cry. No belly to rub when it’s just the two of us at home.

Our boy will leave on Thursday, the day before he turns 5💔 we know in our hearts that it’s the right decision, but I just can’t stop crying.

I don’t know how to start this… but I’m really struggling right now. I adopted a red heeler (Rancher) from a shelter over a year ago. We had tons of ups and a lot of downs. He was a pretty anxious boy which I don’t blame him being in the shelter for 2 years. We’ve had trouble with him from the start. Ive reached out to trainers and behaviorist but it was over $1200. I’m not made of money so spending that much on an 8 year old dog that’s probably not even gonna change his ways.

He has bitten out of fear from loud noises, resource guarding and has bitten out of no where. The bites would mostly happen to my boyfriend. He was pretty unpredictable which was scary at times and also very stressful. I’ve reached out to the shelter about our issues and I’ve been ghosted from them, and I finally put in a form to surrender him back after the most recent bite. They wanted me to talk to someone from the shelter before bringing him back and they told me he has been surrendered before due to biting. After a year of owning him and this is the first time hearing about his history. When I adopted him they told me he was surrendered due to housing issues. They said since he has bitten again if I surrender him back they would BE him.

Yesterday I put down my baby boy. I have given him so many chances after every incident. It’s not fair to my boyfriend to live in fear of getting bitten for no reason. My boyfriend works out of town and is usually home about 8 days out of the month. When he is home I don’t want him stressed out about rancher and his behavior. They will be friends and all cuddly and out of no where ranch will start growling and act out. I kept track of all his triggers but sometimes you just don’t know.

I have so much regret. He was my son I loved him and I was always so excited to go home and see him. I loved hyping him up because he would always get so excited and lean into you looking for all the love he can get. He was just a big baby at heart that just lived in fear. I regret my decision so much, I would do anything to go back and just not go to the appointment. Everyone said I did the right thing but all I feel is guilt and sadness. I look for him everywhere. It just snowed where I’m from and he always loved to roll in the snow and I’m so sad he didn’t get to experience for the last time. Ive experienced this kinda pain before putting down my childhood dog but he could barely walk so it was best for him to be out of pain. This pain feels so much different so much guilt and regret.

I’m sorry for whoever is going through the pain of loss or just the stress of a reactive dog. The last year has definitely been the most stressful year of my life. If someone can please give me advice on how to handle all these emotions and tell me it gets better because right now I feel like I’m drowning.

I’ve been lurking here for a while, and these stories have provided me with so much support over the years. Since my reactive dog story has come to an end, I’m ready to share mine. It’s a long read if you’re in the mood.

This is a difficult topic. Some people see reactivity as a training failure and view BE as inhumanely giving up. But these stories are so much more complex and nuanced. Thank you to everyone who has shared and made me feel less alone.

I adopted my dog 8 years ago with my now husband. He was about a year old at the time. We didn’t know what happened to him, other than that he was surrendered previously. When we first met, he was incredibly sweet. He didn’t bark and cuddled in our laps. We couldn’t wait for him to be our best friend. When he came home, he had a ton of energy, was incredibly vocal, and was leash reactive. We naively thought we could hire a trainer, do all the right things, and he would become a good dog. We had visions of long hikes together, taking him to the farmer’s market, enjoying him with friends, and mountain biking while he ran through the forest. Unfortunately, that wasn’t how his story unfolded.

As he spent more time with us, it became clear that he was more than just high energy; he was reactive and aggressive. He would snarl and bark at anyone near or approaching the house, bark and lunge at dogs and people while on walks, and nip at people who came inside. We tried training and medication, but nothing took his stress and fear away. In fact, it only got worse with time. We managed him for years, crating him when people came over, closing the blinds, and taking walks after dark when the streets were quiet.

When BE first crossed our minds, we couldn’t fathom choosing it. As difficult as he was, he was our child and we thought we could manage him. Plus, he never had a serious bite. When I read about other BE stories, the dogs always seemed so much more dangerous.

Finally, one night, our management slipped and he seriously bit a stranger walking past, without being provoked and without any warning. We were shocked and devastated, and suddenly realized that we had probably been downplaying his aggression for years. He never had a serious bite because he never had the opportunity. And all of the past incidents where he nipped at people’s clothing before we pulled him away could have been much worse. His management required perfection, and he was a serious accident waiting to happen. We reflected on his prior near-incidents with horror that it could have been so much worse.

We made the gut-wrenching decision that BE was the only responsible way forward. He was dangerous and unpredictable, and we couldn’t risk hurting anyone else. It felt inhumane to do this to the sweet dog who had just been sunbathing in the backyard, but we couldn’t forget the aggressive dog he turned into when triggered.

His BE appointment was the hardest thing we’ve ever done. I’m totally heartbroken for the way his story unfolded, and that we couldn’t help him. I keep wondering if we had stayed consistent with crating, if we did even more work to desensitize him from triggers, or tried medication sooner, would his story have been different? I don’t know, but I’m just so sad that whatever we did wasn’t enough. It wasn’t his fault, and he didn’t deserve a life of fear or this tragic ending.

We truly loved him. He was incredibly sweet and loving to the few in his pack. He loved to play fetch, lay in the sun, and go for a ride with his dad. He always let us know what was on his mind, and sometimes we swore he understood English. He was surprisingly gentle with our cat and with our son.

The house now has a crushing emptiness. There are no taps of his paws, no dramatic sighs, and no tail thumps on his bed. There is also no anxious pacing, snarling at the window, or incessant barking to go outside, then inside, and then outside again. But somehow I miss those things too. How could I miss the things that irritated me the most? Reminders of him are everywhere: a toy in a dusty corner, the hole he dug in the yard, and his leash in the mudroom.

I can’t wait for this all to be a distant memory, and for the peace and quiet to feel normal. I can’t wait to feel happy when someone tells me they’re stopping by the house, rather than feeling a wave of anxiety about having to manage my dog. I can’t wait to no longer be surprised by grief as I experience each part of the day, and each corner of the house, without him. I can’t wait to realize how much the hyper vigilance was impacting my own mental health and well-being.

Even through all of the grief, I don’t have any doubt about whether this was the right decision. We didn’t have to wait for another mistake or a worse outcome to make the call.

I’m sure that one day it will get easier, his absence will feel lighter, and the guilt of not being able to help him won’t feel so overwhelming.

But while I wait, I’m going to miss my dog and hope that he can forgive me.

Hello, this is my third and unfortunately last post in this subreddit.

Today my most handsome man, will be put to rest. He is 12 years old and he has lived a long life full of love.. but i had to make this decision for my safety and my roommates safety.. as he is very unpredictable. And it is not fair to him to live a life confined to a room and crate only to be allowed to roam on leash when i’m home… My vet also confirmed this is the best course of action given age, environment, and bite history.. Today I ask not for judgement or to be shamed right now i’ve already felt so much.. nor do I want to go in depth about the incidents that have lead us to this point..

I ask right now, for those who have made the decision, trainers who have seen it done, shelter workers who have had to do it more times then they can count. I ask for advice on the days that follow, i am currently in the numbness stage.. I have five hours until the appointment and we are going to all his favorite places and getting all the pup cups and treats he could ever dream of. And i periodically get hit with the most overwhelming grief (these past two days i have barely slept or ate and my eyes are so swollen and irritated) but today i have felt so numb.. maybe it will all change the second i get to that office.. thinking about it to hard gives me a pain like ive never felt before.

Please tell me how you deal with it all, this is undoubtedly the hardest decision i’ve ever had to make and it is weighing on me so so hard, i don’t know if i’ll ever be the same again after this..

thank you all, i have attached a picture of my handsome man, and his equally handsome lamby.

update: Thank you for all the kind words. Cody was put to sleep about an hour ago. I am feeling… very detached from myself right now. hence why im writing this, instead of sobbing hysterically. Im afraid to fall asleep because i know when i wake up.. he will not be there. He had a great day.. and ate so many things, saw so many people. And when it was time, i stayed with him through all of it and he was so loved. Im not okay, and im not sure when I’ll be okay again. But wherever he is i hope he’s at peace finally.

Last Thursday I had to make the difficult decision to put my 3 year old golden retriever/German shepherd dog down. I had 4 dogs before I came across her at a local rescue. She was only 8 months old when I decided I would like a puppy because all of my other dogs are well above the age of 8. I love all my dogs and they are like children to me because me and my wife cannot have children. All of my dogs have gotten out of the play and learn stage, all of them sweet as can be and just kinda set in their ways. I just wanted a puppy that was rambunctious and wanted to play and I wanted to train/teach them because I enjoyed that stage with the rest of my dogs. So we get the puppy and she is sweet as can be, smart and easily picked up on tricks and potty training and all that. The rescue told us she had a rough life up to this point but they wouldn't go into specifics. Well she fell right in with the rest of the family. Non stop playing and curiosity and even got some of the older dogs up and had them playing with her and everything was great until she turned 1.5 years old. Out of know where she attacked my small 8 year old, 20 pound schnauzer. He survived with some scratches, a few weeks after that she attacked my weeny dog and that required a vet visit. It was bad but he pulled through. The day we got his stitches out she attacked again. Luckily he faired better and that's when I enrolled her into training. Well as the years went by the random attacks happened and she attacked every single one of my dogs. And it was completely random. I treated her like a prisoner. I never left her unsupervised. Well I have to leave home everyday for work and my wife works at home. She would let the all of the dogs out at the same time and then back into the house and that's when the additional attacks would take place. And I begged her to keep them separated because Millie was my little buddy. 95% of the time she was an excellent dog. I loved her because she was my friend. She always chose to be around me. But I was trying to find her a new home and I would be upfront about how she had to be the only animal in the house and no one would take her after hearing that. Well Thursday while I was at work she attacked my schnauzer again and it required surgery to fix him back up. He is stitched up, sore and sitting next to me at home. But my wife said that Millie had to go or be put down. And I called everyone I could think of that would be a good home but no one would take her and I couldn't risk her killing one of my senior dogs and now I feel guilty because I was supposed to protect her and I feel like I failed her and I tried I fucking tried so hard. I'm sorry for rambling I am literally sobbing as I type this. I laid on the floor as they injected her and told her how sorry I was and how she was still a good dog. I just feel like I failed her.

*Edit just to add the vet recommended it, called it behavior euthanasia, due to the attacks and he said she might attack a human as she got older.

** Thank you everyone for all of the support and kind words. This has helped me tremendously through the last few days. Over the last few days I've donated some of her things. She had a lot of enrichment toys she hadn't quite got the grasp of yet so they were practically brand new. And the people I've given the items too have sent me videos of other rescues enjoying them. That has really helped as well. All of you have made this better! Thank you!

I am writing this because I genuinely do not know what else to do.
I adopted my dog from Agoura Hills Animal Care Center in California and brought him all the way to New York with me. Only after the adoption paperwork was completed did I learn that he had previously been involved in a serious attack on another dog.
I was never given the chance to make a fully informed decision before taking responsibility for him. And they are not returning my calls or emails, shame on them.
Now I am in New York with my 10-year-old son, without a permanent home, staying temporarily in a hotel. The California shelter is not answering my calls, and I am left alone trying to manage a dog whose needs are far beyond what I was prepared for.
He has serious dog-on-dog aggression. Every time I take him outside, I am terrified that he will attack another animal. Even with a muzzle, I am struggling to physically control him, and keeping him confined in a hotel room is becoming impossible.
He recently attacked another dog, causing serious injuries and hospitalization. I am devastated about what happened, and I am trying to make sure it never happens again.
I have called shelters and animal organizations in New York. I have been warned that if I surrender him to a regular shelter with this history, he may be euthanized.
I cannot continue keeping him safely in a hotel, but I also cannot bring myself to surrender him knowing that he may be put down.
I urgently need a temporary foster, experienced rescue, trainer, or rehabilitation placement that understands serious dog aggression and can keep him safely separated from other animals.
He must be in:
• A home with no other animals
• A secure environment with someone experienced in aggression and reactive dogs
• A place where he can be kept fully separated and safely handled
He is also currently being treated for ringworm and would need temporary medical isolation.
I am not trying to abandon him or hide his history. I am asking for time and help. Once I find stable housing, I hope to take him back and continue searching for professional rehabilitation and a long-term solution.
I know this is a difficult dog. I know this is a difficult request. But I also know that somewhere there may be someone with the experience, space, and compassion to help us through this emergency.
Please—if you are an experienced foster, trainer, veterinary professional, rescue volunteer, or know an organization that handles serious behavioral cases, message me.
Even a temporary placement could save his life.
Location: New York City
Transport within New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, Pennsylvania, or nearby areas may be possible.
Please message me with your experience, household situation, location, and any rescue, veterinary, or training references

I picked up some trazedone and gabapentin from the vet yesterday and give to her tonight, tomorrow morning, and an hour before the visit. For her and everyone else’s safety, it’s better that she’s drowsy.

I was such a wreck yesterday that almost broke down during a lecture and my coworkers all but forced me to go home.

I’m staying with her today.

Tomorrow, we’ll get in the car and she’ll be so excited because she loves car rides. I never did get the chance to take her on hikes before she became a danger to everyone else. I’ll be there with her every step of the way. I’ve only had her for a month and a half, but I’ve known her and cheered her on for two years between homes that didn’t work out for this very same reason.

Except I was her last chance. Each time she was returned, I grieved for her, hugged her, and told her repeatedly “It’s not your fault”. I’ll be doing the same tomorrow, but at least she won’t be in shelter limbo anymore

I’ll be joining the LosingLulu club tomorrow. Thank you all for your support through the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make

I’m going to line up for the firing squad.

I adopted a lovely scared dog from the shelter. No, not a foster and not a rescue, animal services.

Yes, I tried trainers and behaviorists and vets input, and his behaviors became more unreliable and unpredictable and short fused.

Today the behaviorist and vet agreed that at 100 pounds this dog was unsafe. He had pulled me to the ground more than once and had barked and lunged at children and air nipped at people with relationships that were previously stable. I guess I should add that he became aggressive in the home at the end and had a sustained growl while approaching me. But, it took me a while before anyone would really listen.

To me, he was the most loyal and loving boy with the best house manners. Outside, I was unable to regulate him. And actually inside, he was regulated best with me beside him on the couch and was unable to regulate himself without direction.

This boy had scars and rips and puncture wounds all over his body. He was clearly neglected when I adopted him.

At the end, I decided that he was largely unlikely to get better in public and with his size and extreme separation anxiety, which left me housebound for the last 9 months, he was an extreme case which I couldn’t safely control. He was heavily medicated and not functioning well just to stay safe and my life had shrunk enormously just to meet his needs. Before, everyone kept telling me to keep training.

He was euthanized today and I couldn’t be more devastated and shaken. I loved him, but I saw that he was a great risk.

I think he is one of the best dogs I’ve known, despite his temperament curated from his brain, past experiences, and breed.

We can love a dog and not be able to change their wiring. Currently I’m dealing with a rupture with my daughter who has only met him twice and said, “Well my friends have dogs and they don’t have these problems and maybe it’s you and don’t make stupid decisions by adopting a dog with problems.”

I want to offer that these decisions are so hard. Yes, your dog can be amazing and yet not suitable to be in public or even in a home. People get a snapshot of a dog either good or bad, but that’s not the entire reel. And alternatively, many behavioral issues are manageable through training and/or medication. My experience was an extreme.

A lady I didn’t know yelled at me in public and accused me of trying to frighten the neighborhood with my dog. My constant vigilance and scoping blind corners and watching for triggers? Oh, that looks scary to you?? How about I’m trying to keep my dog safe and myself safe and anyone else safe.

Yes we tried meds and yes we tried trainers and yes we tried behaviorists. I think we were the 1%. He’s so lovely and I’ll always miss him.

If I had a couple of fenced acres? Maybe, but what about the separation anxiety and escape ability of locks and front doors? And what about the threat of him hurting himself? He doesn’t always like strangers leaning in to pet him nor small children running towards him, so an escape would be unsafe.

Aside from all of this, he would have been my perfect dog. He was the best. I’m proud of myself for trying my best despite the neighborhood shade, the random aggressiveness, and the sudden air bite at my neighbor. The behaviorist said change was unlikely.

My entire life was three potty walks per day.
We had to look outside to see which cars were in the lot to determine path and potential fallout. My entire day was built around avoiding triggers.

And if somehow you’re the one who gossiped or yelled at me? Oooff. The universe has plans for you.

I have to put my dog down because his aggression has been getting worse. He’s never fully bitten me, but he has tried to bite other people, and he once nipped my sister’s hand. Today he was barking and growling at my pop, and when I tried to distract him (something that usually works) he turned and tried to bite me. I pulled my arm back when I felt his teeth, but it scared me because he’s never reacted toward me like that until recently.

I’ve had him since birth, and he’s two now. It breaks my heart, but I live with people he doesn’t like, and there’s nowhere safe to put him when they come inside. He is muzzle trained, but I can’t keep him muzzled all day, every day. His behaviour keeps declining even after trying all the advice I was given before, and nothing is improving anymore.

I just want to know what good foods I can give him, or where I can take him, so I can make his last days as comfortable as possible. I’m not looking for training advice. I’ve already tried everything suggested, and it only helped for a short time before things got worse again.

(I got some good advice from someone I'm going to try, and I'm hoping it will work, but I'm leaving this up just in case, that way I can still get more responses and help)

I don't really know what I'm looking for here other than maybe someone seeing something I'm not, or hearing from people who have been in a similar situation.

We have a dog, Kona, who is almost 5. I love the absolute crap out of this dog, which is probably what makes this so hard.

She came to us from Texas when she was around 18 months old. As far as we were told, she had been raised by a family from puppyhood, went to kids' softball games, was around people, etc. Her owner was seriously injured in a car accident and apparently she knocked him over while he was recovering, which is why they surrendered her. There was no bite history disclosed to us.

Her transport to Wisconsin was kind of a disaster because of severe weather/tornadoes, power outages, gas shortages, etc., and she arrived absolutely terrified. She was adopted pretty quickly, escaped from the adopter, and was missing for about two days. My husband and I helped find her, she came back into rescue, and ultimately we foster failed her in July 2023.

Within probably a month, she nipped/bit my mother-in-law. I believe it broke skin, although I honestly don't remember anymore. About six months later she bit my mom in the lower calf/heel through her pants and broke skin. My sister has also been bitten after coming into our house unexpectedly. There have been other incidents/nips over the years.

None of her bites toward people have been what I would describe as a sustained attack. It's usually very fast — bite/nip at a calf or ankle and release. But at this point, I don't really care about splitting hairs over bite levels. She has bitten multiple people and broken skin. That's a bite history.

Her biggest issue is our house/property and people entering it.

If someone comes over, she has to be secured. She is muzzle trained. We've crated her, put her behind closed doors, tethered her to us, etc. If she's tethered to me and given enough time and distance, she can eventually lie down and settle, but I would never look at that and think, "Great, she's cured, let her go say hi."

She is constantly hyperaware of what's happening outside our house. People, dogs, delivery drivers, whatever. We have a SIX FOOT solid wood privacy fence and she will repeatedly launch herself up it trying to see over it when someone is outside. She has cleared/jumped the fence before. We recently had someone outside trenching our internet line and she was absolutely losing her mind at the windows.

And it's gotten to the point where we're thinking about things that sound ridiculous until you actually live with a dog like this. What happens if my husband and I are in a car accident together? Who can safely walk into our house and take care of our other three dogs and our cats? What if there's a fire? What if EMTs need to come into our house? What if somebody accidentally opens the wrong door?

We also basically can't travel anymore. The kennel where she was previously boarded will no longer accept her because of her behavior/reactivity.

She has also caused serious injury to one of our other dogs.

We have two large male dogs who have gotten into fights with each other. Kona will jump into those fights and attack my older male. During one of them, she went after the backs of his legs and lacerated him badly enough that he had to go to the emergency vet, be stitched up and have drains placed. The original fight wasn't hers. She inserted herself into it, and the serious injuries were caused by her.

She's lived with our cats for years without hurting them, and I've actually seen situations where she seemed remarkably uninterested in/appropriate around small animals.

Then recently we brought home a tiny rescue kitten who was secured inside a kennel. Kona dragged the occupied kennel, destroyed/shredded the bedding around it and was actively trying to get to the kitten. The kitten thankfully wasn't injured. I can't tell you with 100% certainty what Kona would have done if she'd gotten to her, but I'm also not willing to find out.

We've tried medication. She was on fluoxetine/Prozac for somewhere around 1.5–2 years and at one point was taking 45 mg. It didn't make her safe; mostly it made her sleep a lot. We've used trazodone as well. We've done training, management, muzzle training, crate/containment work, desensitization, etc.

She is always muzzled at the vet. At her last appointment, the staff was uncomfortable enough handling her that I held her while they drew blood and did what they needed to do.

We've already discussed behavioral euthanasia with our vet. This isn't something that came up for the first time because of the kitten incident.

And then there is the part that makes all of this fucking awful:

She's wonderful.

With us, she is sweet. She's affectionate. She's funny. She's insanely smart. She's probably the most athletic dog I've ever owned and legitimately the fastest dog I've ever seen in person. She's attentive to us. She listens. She cuddles. She plays. She sleeps comfortably in our house. She loves us. She has plenty of moments where she looks like an absolutely happy, normal dog.

She's also physically healthy.

So I look at her lying on my couch being perfectly content and think, how the fuck am I considering euthanizing this dog?

And then someone comes to the house, or she launches herself at the fence, or I remember holding my other dog while he was stitched back together, or I realize there's literally nobody I feel comfortable telling "just let yourself into my house and take care of everybody" if something happened to us.

I am also involved heavily in dog rescue and have fostered 90+ dogs. And maybe weirdly, that makes me feel even more strongly that rehoming isn't an ethical answer.

Could I advertise her as needing an experienced owner, no kids, no cats/small animals, probably no other dogs, secure fencing, limited visitors, someone comfortable managing a muzzle, someone willing to accept a multiple-bite history, etc.? Sure.

But what am I actually doing then?

I'm taking a dog I love and whose behavior I know inside and out, handing her to someone who doesn't know her, and transferring the risk to them and their neighbors/family/vet/delivery driver/whatever. If she seriously injured someone after I knowingly placed her, I don't know how I would live with that either.

So we're considering behavioral euthanasia.

My biggest fears aren't really "What will people think?" I can live with people thinking I'm a monster.

I'm scared of regret.

I'm scared I'll euthanize a physically healthy, not-even-five-year-old dog who is currently sleeping peacefully in my house, and spend the rest of my life wondering if there was one more medication, one more trainer, one different environment, one thing I didn't try.

I'm scared that I'll feel like I killed her because managing her became inconvenient.

But I'm equally scared that I'll let my guilt keep her alive until something catastrophic happens, and then I'll spend the rest of my life knowing I already had all of this information and waited for someone or another animal to get seriously hurt before I acted.

I'm not really looking for "just rehome her" or "a dog that bites should immediately be put down."

I'm looking for the middle.

If you've owned a dog like this, especially a dog who was loving and happy with you but unsafe in ways that significantly affected your life and other people's safety, how did you decide when enough was enough?

If you chose behavioral euthanasia, how did you know you weren't doing it too soon?

And if you chose not to, was there something that genuinely changed the situation rather than simply requiring increasingly elaborate management?

Most importantly, is there something in this history that makes you think, "Have you ruled out/tried/looked into ___?"

Because before we make an irreversible decision, I really just want to make sure there isn't something we're not thinking of.

Im posting this here as a tribute to our Rosie. I do not wish to magnify her faults in this post, but rather, honor her as the invaluable companion she has been. With that said, I also hope my words bring comfort to others who find themselves having to make the same impossible decision as us.

Our Rosie girl is 7 years old. We rescued her when she was about 1, shortly after my wife and I got married. We loved her unconditionally and she reciprecated that love. Her high emotional intelligence makes her special. However, she came with trauma that we had no insight into. We have done everything within our ability to help her. With each instance of reactivity that occurred over the years, we adjusted our life to accommodate for her. In the end, considering all that has happened, BE became unavoidable.

Who is Rosie? She was our first baby. Our closest friend who provided emotional support during the hardest times of life. Someone to also enjoy the best life had to offer: hiking on beautiful trails, camping with friends, swiming in lakes and rivers, playing tug and wrestling in the snow, going to breweries, running and biking in our neighborhood, going on family walks after long days, cuddling together on cold nights, greeting both our daughters when we brought them home for the first time, and so so so many more priceless memories.

We are beyond heart broken because we love her so very much. We will cherish the countless wonderful memories she has given us. She is our baby girl.

On Monday, it will be time to say goodbye to our Rosie. Until then she will be loved harder than ever before.

We have 3 dogs:

-A 5-year-old female pit mix, around 40 lbs.
-A 9-month-old male husky/pit mix, already 90 lbs and still growing. We’ve had both of them since they were puppies.
-A 20 lb poodle mix we rescued from the street about 2 years ago. He’s probably 3–4 years old and is the sweetest little angel of a dog.

The reason we got pit mixes is that, where we live, they’re pretty much all that’s available when you want to rescue a dog. We live in a rural residential area with no fence (and unfortunately, fencing the property isn’t an option). It’s also a robbery-prone area, so we thought getting guard dogs would make sense.

We never had any issues between our little dog and the 40 lb pit mix until we got the “puppy.”

The puppy has a strong prey drive. I’ve seen him go into what I can only describe as “stealth mode” when he sees small children, which honestly scares me. He also killed 6 of our 12 chickens when he was only 3 months old.

Recently, I caught both pit mixes mauling our poodle mix. The older female had him by the neck and was shaking him. I believe she was triggered by the puppy, although I don’t know if that matters. Either way, she has now demonstrated that she’s capable of seriously attacking another dog.

Our little dog almost died. He spent several days at the vet and required surgery. They tore into his neck, to the spine, narrowly missing his jugular.

Now I’m faced with a decision I never thought I’d have to make: euthanasia or trying to rehome them to someone experienced who has no other pets or children?

Honestly, I don’t want to keep these dogs anymore, as attached as I am to them. My mother in law is willing to adopt the poodle mix, so he will at least be safe. But this incident has completely changed how I see them and what I believe they’re capable of. I also don’t trust them around children, and my partner and I might like to have kids. And even if we don’t, I don’t want to deal with the responsibility of owning dogs that could randomly maul anyone’s kid if given the opportunity.

The puppy is a beautiful dog. He’s intelligent, obedient, goofy, and full of life. He’s not an anxious dog. He has a strong hunting instinct, like many dogs do, but I don’t want my love for him to cloud my judgment or put someone else at risk.
I know that dogs are individuals, and I don’t want to demonize an entire breed. But after what happened, I genuinely don’t know if these dogs can safely live in a home environment anymore.

Neither has ever shown aggression toward a human. The only thing that concerns me is the puppy’s behavior around small children, when he seems to go into that stealth mode. He’s also been around plenty of children and has happily interacted with them since he was little.
We even used to joke about how terrible they would be as guard dogs if the situation ever called for it.

I love these dogs, but I also love our little dog, and I can’t ignore what happened to him.

Would you consider behavioral rehabilitation and responsible rehoming in this situation, or is euthanasia the more responsible option? Has anyone been through something similar?

Please, no judgment, I am not a professional, and I am seeking help. I
have a two year-old 100 pound half pitbull, a quarter German Shepherd, a quarter husky dog. His name is Gus. I got Gus when he was 12 weeks old. He has been well socialized since day one. Many play dates, even with my mom’s small toy poodle, Chico. They played very well until one day Chico was instigating Gus, and Gus grabbed his head in his mouth and tried to shake him. Luckily he didn’t get enough grip on him to kill him and my friend was able to break up the : Ever since then, we’ve been on high alert. He has gotten along well with every other dog perfectly besides that. For almost a year there haven’t been any concerning incidents. We figured it was a one time thing because he was instigated.

We did share this information with the shelter and they agreed. Gus seemed bored at home so we adopted Otis who was 13 weeks old. Gus and Otis were best friends and would play all day together. Eight months after getting Otis, Gus started resource guarding food and they would get into scuffles. They slowly started to escalate longer, more intense. Otis would never start them, but he certainly would join. We tried eliminating all triggers, but then things we couldn’t control became triggers for instance, space or even attention from guests. A fight got so intense where Gus went after Otis so intensely that we had our friend take Otis until we spoke with the vet and the rescue where we got both of them from. The vet offered us a trainer, but did say with the attacks like the last one that the state recommends behavioral euthanasia. We also have two kids at home. One is very small. Gus has never showed aggression towards people, but I am worried it could escalate to that. The shelter pretty much said it is likely he could be euthanized if we brought him back because it would not be ethical to rehome him unless it wasn’t an only dog home, but they cannot promise they won’t put him down. He has such severe anxiety, especially separation anxiety. The thought of this breaks my heart. I have been looking into sanctuaries for aggressive dogs to try to give him a second chance. We are even looking into large properties where we can build him a very nice kennel outside and still interact with him all throughout the day. I am a stay at home mom and have plenty of time to give him attention. It would be like a mini house for him. I really don’t want to put him down. Do you think this could escalate to people? People have gotten hurt breaking up the dog fights, but nobody has been directly hurt. Otis is at the shelter and our friend who watches him is filing to adopt him. He seems very attached to the children, but I’m still worried that he could hurt them. Does this usually escalate to kids? For now I am keeping everybody separate minus my oldest son because he is large and very gentle. Ideally, I could find a home for him or somebody could be willing to work with him and his baggage but ideally it would be an adult only home with no other animals, but this seems impossible to find. I feel like I am all out of options and I would really like insight.

I came home to find my husband had finally gone through with the thing we had been discussing for months.

We are both just heartbroken and emotionally destroyed.

We got Hank just over 6 years ago, he was a gorgeous little puppy. We already had a dog and wanted a friend for him, they instantly became best pals. We thought we had made the right decision.

Fast forward to him turning 16 months old and it was like something switched in him. He started attacking our other dog on sight, no growling, no showing teeth, no barking, he would just straight for his throat. He became very anxious, always on alert.

That led to us having to keep them both completely separated in the house. As lockdown happened when we got him, he wasn't used to people coming to the house, he didn't like people coming to the house. He seemed to have a particular issue with my dad and on one occasion if he hadn't been muzzled he would have bitten him.

His dog reactivity also got increasingly worse, he would lunge at any dog he saw, and tried to drag you across to get to them. I will say he was always muzzled outside the house but still that's a scary sight coming at you.

We tried medication, we had him neutered and we hired a behaviourist. The behaviourist said he had no doubt he would maul a person and was a dangerous dog. He said the reason Hank attacked our other dog was because he was resource guarding us from him.

Then we had a baby and things got worse, Hank was used to being with us all the time. But now we couldn't be with him as we couldn't have him round the baby.

His reactivity got worse, even in the car he would get so worked up anytime he saw a dog, crying, barking, trying to jump around the car. It got to the point we couldn't take him out anymore, it just didn't seem safe.

We have a big garden so we played with him there but we had to spend more time with the baby and less with him. It wasn't fair, he had no quality of life.

We tried very carefully introducing the baby, the last time he laid eyes on him was when the baby was 10 months and he is now 2 years old. The body language was very worrying and we decided that couldn't happen again.

We started the process of contacting rescues as we knew once the baby was walking and trying to get out doors it would become a safety issue. We contacted 40 dog rescues over the last year. Most didn't even bother replying to us, we heard from 13, 12 to say they were full and 1 to say you have been added to a waiting list, if you hadn't heard from us in 3 months we couldn't help and you have been removed from the list. That was 4 months ago now.

I contacted the few people I knew in that industry but again the people they tried said they were full with hundreds already on waiting lists. We expressed our concerns to the vets at vaccination appointments and asked if they had any contacts that could help us re-home him.

Our son is 2 and trying to open doors, we put a bar across the door of the room Hank was in at our head height but with human error it's a case of when not if someone forgot to put the bar across. And what if that was the day our son opened that door.

I couldn't live with that possibility any longer, I kept seeing my son standing in the place of our other dog and Hank going straight for his tiny neck. Hank had started barking loudly and throwing himself against the door of his room anytime he heard my son going upstairs.

So today my husband took him and had him put to sleep. He took him out to a field you can hire out for a nice run around in the sunshine, took him for a McDonalds and then held him as he passed away. I am so grateful that he did that, it's not something I would have had the strength to do.

God it hurts so much, we are both in bits, we feel like we failed him even though we tried everything we could think off. I believe it was a faulty genetic line, they kept a puppy from the second litter. The dad kept attacking the puppy when he was 11/12 months old and then he bite the breeders 12 year old daughter. The breeder then rehomed the dad. It was about 9 months after that I saw a woman rehoming the puppy, the breeder had obviously rehomed him as well and now that woman was rehoming him as well due to reactivity and behavioural issues.

I am sorry this is a rambling mess, we are just devastated. Hank I am sorry we failed you. I just hope in time we can forgive ourselves and I hope you are at peace now.

I cant stop crying.

Names changed for anonymity. My husband and I adopted Merle five years ago from the shelter. He was probably ~1 year old. I think its important to note that he had been rehomed 4 times prior to us adopting him. I also have another dog, age 8 (he was three when we adopted Merle).

Merle is my husband's soul dog.

The shelter did not disclose a bite history but within six months he had bitten my husband and myself. He had been in at least two fights with my other dog, all provoked by him. Lockdown started when we finally had the money for training and started teletraining. Ive taken Oliver to formal dog training and apply those lessons to both dogs.

A few more fights and incidents occurred throughout the years. I cant even begin to count. His vet visits were getting worse. We have been prescribed to give him trazadone, gabapentin, and acepromazine prior to those visits. However when he had an ear infection they decided to sedate hin. Merles most recent vet visits have now caused him to be muzzle adverse. We are trying to teach him that muzzles are safe but it's been a long process.

The dogs are separated when we are away. We practice consent touches with Merle. We do not allow him to meet people. They are taken on walks and adventures together and separately for bonding. They do not play but they are more effectively communicating.

Let me preface this by saying, I love Merle. I instigated all of his training and research into dog body language to see what he's trying to tell us, and he now communicates more with growls and stiffens versus biting. I love walking him. He's so food motivated, it's fun and easy to teach him new tricks. Let me repeat that. He is INCREDIBLY food motivated yet with all the cheese and sausage in the world (along with tranquizers) he is so terrified of the vet they need to sedate him for basic care. He is so, so touch sensitive, even at home. We are careful when we pet him.

This weekend has been my last straw. On Friday, I was petting him in a way I normally do -- after he had come up to me. I noticed he suddenly stiffened and took my hand away. He snapped at me. My other dog came into the room and Merle attacked him. Nothing major, no vet needed, but we did some bonding in the backyard. I was shook, this hasn't happened in a while.

Then on Sunday, we are all in the kitchen. There was no warning. Merle attacked Oliver again. Oliver fought back. Merle had his head in his mouth, it was so scary. My husband and I were both bit trying to break it up. My husband got the worst of it and has now been to the doctor twice. Merle had a laceration on his chest. Oliver has thick fur and only suffered some punctures, but Merle needed the emergency vet. I popped some trazadone, grabbed all the cheese, and prayed.

My worst fear happened. I told them he would fight them, he will need to be sedated. They said pkay and took him to the back. He slipped his lead and muzzle. I had to go back there and coax him into another room to decompress for two hours. His trazadone was fully kicked in but I couldn't muzzle him when it was time to sedate. They ended up putting him in this box and poking him that way.

When he woke up, they took him to my car. The vet tech admitted they were scared of him. My heart was breaking. I was scared of him too.

I got home around 1 AM. He was so scared and out of it, he wouldn't leave my car til 11 AM the next day. I stayed up all night with him, coming in to the garage every hour to try to coax him out. The whole experience was 16 hours.

The vet had given him a drainage tube and stitches that will need to be removed. I threw up thinking about going through all of this again. I keep crying.

I finally brought up behavioral euthanasia to my husband. He thought about it for two days and then came back and said no. He was sobbing and crying that he couldn't do it.

I scheduled the appointment to have the tube taken out and requested him being sedated. My husband will be there -- he has not been to the vet with me in a few years so he has no idea how traumatizing it really is for Merle. For me.

I am so tired of being scared of him. I think the world is too big and scary for him and I'm so sad the only way he can think of to react is with teeth. I am so scared he's going to really someone, be it the vet, our other dog, or us. Hell, he already has! My husband's hand is swollen and he ended up going to urgent care day of fight and then his doctor today.

My husband says he found a trainer in a nearby city that specializes in aggressive dogs. I went to the website and its a board and train.

I am so scared my husband won't see how dangerous this dog is until he hurts someone to the point where we won't have a choice.

God this is so, so hard.

I have a 8 month old puppy, Ian, whom I’ve posted on here many times about. We just had a free appointment with our trainer because after insurance finding any way not to cover his behavioral training or medication they claim they do cover, I am exhausted of financial resources. He is already on trazodone, gabapentin, and fluoxetine but none of the medications are helping him even a little and he stopped responding to training. Ian is reactive to my partner and every other person in this world except me. Everything sets him off in our home and the only thing that calms him (temporarily) is my presence. Our trainer said other than behavioral euthanasia, our only other option is to see a behavioral veterinarian but we’re looking at a $600 consultation bill that I can’t afford right now. Unfortunately, I have to go back to school at the end of this month leaving my partner as the only person who can care for Ian. I’m out of options and I am so lost at what to do. He’s an amazing dog and didn’t deserve a life like this.

Update: Ian’s trainer and vet have recommended BE as of 8/15. As for everyone with nasty comments, keep the to yourself. You aren’t the one who has to sit at home and manage this dog. You aren’t the one who has to watch him struggle all day. When I’m at work and I check on him through the camera in his room he either sleeps for just since in a corner on alert despite having his interactive toys, chews, and stuffies. He will only engage with those when I am there with him and I can’t constantly be there. You aren’t there when my partner speaking in our house and Ian starts barking and throwing himself against the door. You aren’t here to watch his decline in daily training as he refuses to do or accept any treats until my partner is gone now. You weren’t there last night when Ian went after my other dog that he used to love. You are here to watch him slowly distance himself from me as well. I never wanted BE to be the end result. I still don’t want it to be but I can’t risk everyone else’s safety. This post was originally because I was scared it was even on the table and it wasn’t what I was expecting to hear. I got back to school in 9 days and Ian has no one who can safely care for him. I don’t have options.

Final edit: After consulting my trainer and 2 vets, Ian is now gone. He went peacefully in my arms eating as much steak and Mac n cheese as his heart desired. Forcing him to say on this earth when everyone caused him so much fear wasn’t fair to him. I just couldn’t accept it for the longest time and it just prolonged his suffering. Don’t bother responding to this post. I am deleting Reddit. I want no part in absolute hate some of you want to tear people down with when they’re going through a difficult time.

Title: My dog has severe fear/anxiety and has now seriously bitten family members 5 times. Is there any hope left for him?

I’m posting because I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore, and I’m hoping to hear from people who have dealt with serious behavioral issues, especially fear-based aggression and resource guarding.

My dog Chai is a large Doberman mix. When he was around a year old, he was attacked by a much larger dog. After that, his behavior around other dogs changed drastically. He developed a deep fear/nervousness around dogs, and walks became something where we were constantly looking ahead and crossing streets or changing directions anytime we saw someone approaching with an animal.
We have put him through multiple trainings and have tried working with him, but his anxiety seems to have expanded into more and more situations.
He gets extremely nervous around other dogs. Kids yelling or being loud can make him anxious. Certain interactions with people make him uncomfortable. He also has issues surrounding food/resources.
The biggest problem is that when his stress level gets high enough, his reaction can become a bite — and because he is such a large, powerful dog, the consequences aren’t minor.
He has bitten my gf aka fellow owner multiple times.
There have been four incidents involving her, and some of those bites have required stitches/hospital treatment 4+ stitches to be exact. Most recently, he also attacked her dad which also required stitches.
There have also been warning incidents with me. Once I was checking his teeth and he tried to bite me. Another time I was cleaning eye boogers from his face while I was eating dinner and he suddenly tried to attack me. Looking back, I think the food being there may have contributed to his stress/resource guarding, but that’s also what scares me situations that seem relatively ordinary can escalate incredibly fast.
It feels like he has so many triggers now that we’re constantly managing his environment.
I love this dog deeply. I also understand that love doesn’t erase the reality that he is capable of seriously hurting someone. Every stressful situation can’t end with someone needing stitches or going to the hospital.
At this point, pretty much everyone around me has given up on him. I’m being told that he’s dangerous even to his own family and that he needs to be removed from the home. A shelter has been brought up, and I am extremely against just dropping him at a shelter, especially knowing his behavioral history and how stressful that environment would likely be for him.
At the same time, I can’t pretend the bites haven’t happened. Laura has been hurt repeatedly, her dad has now been attacked, and Chai has even shown aggression toward me. I hear what everyone is telling me about the danger he presents.
I’m trying to figure out whether there is another responsible step before giving up on him.
Has anyone dealt with a dog with this level of fear/anxiety, resource guarding and a serious bite history and actually been able to rehabilitate or safely manage them?
Would a veterinary behaviorist/formal behavioral assessment be the appropriate next step? Is there a point where training isn’t enough anymore?

I feel like everyone else has already decided there’s no hope for him, and I’m struggling to accept that without knowing I’ve explored every responsible option first.