I feel like I need to scream into the void around people who will understand. I lost my first baby at the end of the first trimester. It was awful in every way. We had already chosen a name, which had been the name we had picked years prior

I had a close friend who was also going through pregnancy stuff at the time so we were especially close. I planned her baby shower. But a year later, she’s named her child the same name of my dead baby.

I haven’t breathed a word to anyone that she did this except my husband. I tried to keep reaching out in the beginning so she had support but it was like getting slammed in the gut every time i heard my baby’s name. So i quietly stepped back. It’s been 6-7 months and she just sent a mutual friend to ask if i’m “mad” at her

Mad?? Are we in high school?? I’m GRIEVING. I’m HURTING. It’s reopening a wound every time it comes up. And you couldn’t even give me the respect of texting me directly? You had to bring someone else into it? I don’t know what to do when i see my dead baby’s name casually mentioned every time you come across my screen and i’m reminded AGAIN that she is dead and that you chose to use her name anyway

I don’t know. I just need someone to understand. My heart has been broken for two years and i have done my best to handle this with as much grace as i can muster. I’m tired

Yesterday at a 12 week scan we were told our baby was measuring 8 weeks and had no heartbeat. They didn’t need to tell me, i could see everything i needed to know on the screen.
It’s our first loss and first pregnancy and we had absolutely no idea this was going to happen.
I cannot believe how much this has hit me I cannot stop crying when i’m on my own. I don’t want to feel like this. It is one of the worst emotional pains I have ever felt in my life.

Missed miscarriage. Absolutely no MC symptoms. I was prescribed misoprostol. The pharmacy tech said "have a good day!" as I was leaving after picking it up, and I said "you too!" I cried all of the way home.

Devastated but grateful to have access to the care that I need in my home state. Sending love and strength to you all.

My body has let me down again. Two miscarriages in two years. I can hear the cries of newborn babies feom my hospital room. I heard visitors coming to visit another woman and her baby. I don't want to be here. I want to go home. I want it to be 48 hours ago when everything was okay and my baby was fine. I want to go home. Why is this happening to me again? 18 weeks this time. Made it to the second trimester. I want to go home. I can't do this again.

Congratulations this is a dead giveaway that they never experienced any issues with trying to conceive, miscarriages or any pregnancy issues.
As someone who had miscarriages, I know to never ever ask anyone about pregnancy. I never would because I know the pain and uncertainty. Just one miscarriage ruins all pregnancies forever. Not being able to conceive just has so much anxiety and uncertainty. You will never ever catch me asking. Even if a woman is visibly 9 months pregnant and saying she’s due next week, I will never ever ask details about the pregnancy. Who knows what kinds of issues or anxieties/uncertainties she’s had.
I’m so fucking happy for all these older women who had no issues and got pregnant as soon as they wanted to and never had miscarriages or anxiety and everything went so perfectly for them. They have the audacity to think it’s like that for everyone.

That’s it. That’s the post. 💔 😞 God, seeing the negative test knocked the wind right out of my lungs.

Test positive 5 days ago! Yay. Last year had a blighted ovum and decided to try again not long ago. Dr says I’m approx 5 weeks 2d. This morning I wiped and found brown mucus discharge on the toilet paper and each time I’ve wiped today it has a tiny bit of pink mixed in the discharge. Feeling down right now as the last time I spotted for 8 days (red blood). Should I be worried?

Trying to make sense of my first miscarriage. I couldn't sleep the night after taking miso, so I wrote this:

No one tells you how to miscarry.
There are no step-by-step instructions
To tell you whether you’re doing it right.
Because the one thing your body is designed to do,
It didn’t.

No one tells you what to say
When people ask how you are.
And the life they never knew existed
Is gone before the congratulations came.

No one tells you how long it takes.
How long it takes to pass clots the size of golf balls
While you’re bent over on the toilet,
Cramping like it’s labour pains.

I wore my comfiest underwear and a maxi pad,
I listened to music,
And I scooped flesh from the toilet bowl
So I knew that you were real.

-----

I really feel compelled to write about the experience. It's so painful.

We’ve had three miscarriages, and I’m struggling to process why this keeps happening to us.

Our doctor told us there was a chromosomal issue, and a chromosomal microarray test confirmed it. They’re now suggesting IVF(as AMH count is 1.13), but I feel overwhelmed by the thought of what comes next.

The losses have already been so painful. I’m scared of the emotional, physical, and financial stress of IVF—and of going through all of that without knowing whether we’ll finally get to have a baby.

Right now, I feel like I’ve lost hope. I want to become a parent, but I’m exhausted and scared of another heartbreak.

Has anyone here experienced repeated miscarriages linked to a chromosomal issue and then been advised to try IVF? How did you decide whether you were ready, and what questions helped you understand your options?

I’d appreciate honest experiences, including the difficult ones. I think I mostly need to hear from people who understand, because this feels incredibly lonely.

Hi everyone. This is my first time posting here so I apologize if I’m not doing this correctly. I was diagnosed with a miscarriage at the er on Sunday. The er doc told me to follow up with OB within 48 hours. So I went to OB yesterday and the receptionist told me to go to lab for another blood draw and that they’ll call me when they get results. Okay, that makes sense since they need to check levels. I did that and went home. No phone call, email, nothing. I went back today to ask what I’m supposed to do next. The receptionist again acted like she didn’t understand why I came back? She said the OB wants me to get another blood draw in a week. I’ve yet to be actually seen by an OB. I’ve never been through this. Is this normal?

TW bc im all over the place and who knows.

I knew before it tested positive I was pregnant. first test was neg. on my first day of missed period. 5 days after I tested positive. I would be 5 weeks at most but im sure im 3 weeks.

I didnt want this pregnancy so why am I so distraught. this man was NOT SAFE the worst type of person to have a kid with and i only dated him for 2.5 months and I dont want to be tied to him but im so upset I want babies. im naturally passing it which is awful and I cant look up things about it bc ill spiral with my ocd (i already have been thinking its ectopic with zero proof or evidence) I want babies i dont want his baby so why am I so upset im miscarrying natural. why is it so painful. why am I so upset. why did this week have to happen.

Idk if this is weird but after our first ultrasound and they told us there was no heart beat i was in such shock. Now 2 weeks later I wish I asked for a photo. That’s all I would have from our first pregnancy and I wish I could see it. Do you think if I messaged my dr they would email me a photo?

I thought I would share my experience on here since others helped me so much. I went in for my 8 week when I discovered my twins had stopped developing the week prior. It was awful. I went the medicine route thinking that would be the way I could easily do it in the comfort of my own home. Below is a timeline of what happened.

11am took the first meds at the doctors office. (Mifepristone)

By like 5pm that evening I was cramping pretty bad and bleeding a little. Wasn’t expecting that since the doctor had told me mild cramping but this was pretty intense all through the night with no relief. I took two Tylenol before bed.

By 8am next morning it was so painful that I went ahead and took 800mg ibuprofen immediately

12pm is when I took misoprostol vaginally.

I don’t know if it’s because my body was already trying to mc naturally before I took all these meds but everything else happened so fast. Within 30 minutes I passed the first baby. I unfortunately saw it in the toilet and had a meltdown. Refused to look in the toilet the following hours.

From 1-4pm it would come in waves. Major cramps which were the most painful thing I’ve ever felt. (I always have felt I have a high pain tolerance.) And then every 30 minutes would have to change my pad and release clots/tissue in the toilet.
Pain meds nor heat really helped here. THC and showers were helpful a bit though.

Around 4 pm was my last round of intense cramps which came with major dizziness and chills. It had me so worried I had lost too much blood. After that I sat on the toilet and released something the size of a golf ball. I didn’t look in the toilet though and flushed because I was so worried and freaked out. Immediately after this cramps stopped and felt a tiny bit better. It was wild the relief I felt once those cramps ceased.

I ate a ton of food after and at 9pm my bleeding was still going but had stopped significantly. Only one pad every few hours. Cramping is now at a minimum as well.

I hope this helps someone who is worried about taking these meds. The grief is enough to worry about let alone going into something with no provided expectations. I felt like the doctors played it down on how it would be and only Reddit gave me a true picture.

If you are reading this because you too have loss. I’m so sorry and hope you find some peace during this process.

This is going to be long and probably overwhelming to read.

6 years ago, I was 18. I had a boyfriend who I loved very much, but it was a tumultuous relationship to say the least, and in no way were we planning for a baby. I was on hormonal birth control and had been for years. From what I remember, I hadn’t missed any periods and I had no indication that I was pregnant, the thought had never crossed my mind.

For context, I had a bad home life. My dad wasn’t very nice to me for the majority of my life. My mother moved 4 hours away when I was 6 years old to escape his abuse. My dad loved me and cared for me, but didn’t know how to show it and had a very bad temper. I had struggled with depression since 8 years old. By this time in my life my father’s mistreatment of me had settled into just occasional screaming fits.

One day, I was at my boyfriend’s house and my period had come at some point in the afternoon. It was unusually very painful and heavy. I had always had average periods with a tolerable amount of cramping that didn’t typically disrupt anything aside from being uncomfortable. I remember complaining to my boyfriend that it hurt a lot more than usual and he had massaged my stomach.

I went home to my dad’s house, and by 7:30 that night, the pain had become unbearable. I remember I was watching Rupaul’s Drag Race. For some reason I had gotten onto the floor of my bedroom, as if it would ease the pain. At this point I was groaning and screaming, and I felt like something was really wrong. I was really scared and it was the worst pain I’ve ever felt. Some time passed and I felt something come out of me into my period underwear, the absorbent washable ones. I made it to the bathroom, and out of me had fallen a lump of flesh, about the size of a lemon. It was pink and dark red. It was so strange looking and it made me really nervous, I did suspect at this point that I was miscarrying, but I had no idea how I could’ve gotten pregnant. I put the soiled underwear with the lump into a plastic bag. I returned to my room, still groaning and crying out, and my dad tentatively called out to me from the hallway. He asked if I was alright. I was sobbing and I honestly said I didn’t know. He opened the door, saw me on the floor and asked what was wrong, I told him I was bleeding a lot and that it really hurt. I was so embarrassed and afraid he was going to yell at me like he normally did when I was going through something. To my surprise, he only seemed concerned, and suggested I call my mom.

I called her and told her what was going on. I told her about the lump of flesh. She said to me, with sympathy, “I think you know what’s happening.” She told me to go to the hospital and to bring the soiled underwear.

My dad drove me and I asked my boyfriend to meet me at the hospital. When we arrived to the ER, he wasn’t allowed in past the entry vestibule as this was during COVID and he wasn’t immediate family I guess. He gave me a kiss on the forehead through his mask, and I went in. I was terrified and completely alone.

When I walked in the orderly or whoever he was asked me what was up, and through tears I told him I thought I was having a miscarriage. His face dropped and he said he was so sorry, and directed me to a computer to check in, pre-triage I guess. When I was finished, the man sent me to the waiting room and said again that he was so sorry and God Bless me.

I sat in the first waiting room for maybe an hour or two before triage, crying in my pyjamas and holding my childhood teddy bear. People stared at me, wondering what was wrong with me. I was so ashamed. Eventually I got sent to a second waiting room past the triage area to wait for a room.

By the time I saw a doctor it was midnight. I showed her the soiled underwear and what was in it, and she nodded and told me it looked like a gestational sac. They ordered a blood test to confirm the pregnancy and sent me from the room to literally just sit in the hallway.

I sat there for about 2 hours after the test when some guy came and told me the test had confirmed I was pregnant. He told me to come back at 6am for an ultrasound to determine if the pregnancy was still viable. At that point I was stone faced. I knew the baby was gone and I just wanted to get out of there.

On the way home, I very nervously told my dad that I was pregnant and they thought I was having a miscarriage. He was surprisingly calm about it. I expected him to be super pissed and punish me, but that didn’t happen. He just said okay and continued driving.

My mom drove overnight to take me to the ultrasound the next morning. She stayed in the waiting area while they led me to a large, very dark room with what must’ve been at least 15 beds lining the walls with curtains around each of them. They placed me in a “room” and left while I removed my pants and underwear. I had never been to a gynaecologist or had an examination down there before and I was scared. I hid my underwear in my purse and laid down on the bed under the little sheet.

The lady comes in and explains a bit, shows me the probe while apologizing. I was mortified. She did lubricate it and was as gentle as possible but of course it was uncomfortable.

After that I was sent to another room on another floor of the hospital to wait for another few hours with my mom. A gynaecologist arrived and my mom left the room. She did what I now know is a cervical check and told me I was 2cm dilated and that I had had a miscarriage. At that point I was like yeah thanks I know. She prescribed me a pill to “remove any remaining tissue,” and didn’t explain any further than that. I was so exhausted at this point, I didn’t have the energy to feel anything emotionally.

I went home, and I don’t remember confirming to my dad that I had miscarried and that I would be taking a pill to clear out my uterus, but I remember that he asked if I needed anything, and that he went out and bought me maxi pads. That’s one thing I look back on that tells me that my dad did love me.

A couple hours after taking the pill, I was in extreme pain once again and I realized the pill that they had given me was technically an abortion pill, and that I was pretty much having a second miscarriage with zero warning. I was horrified and cried the whole time. I was told there would be light cramping but it felt exactly the same as the actual miscarriage. It’s not simply the fact that it was an abortion pill, (I have no issue with that) but that I literally didn’t know that it was the same pill you take when you get one, and that it would cause that much pain. Maybe I was stupid for not knowing, but I was 18 and didn’t know anything about pregnancy or reproductive health. I felt like I didn’t really get to choose because I didn’t have all the information. Of course, I would have taken it anyway because it was the safest thing to do for my body, but I would have liked to make that decision knowingly.

In the afternoon, a lot of the pain had subsided, and to my surprise, my grandmother arrived at my house. I was in bed resting and my boyfriend was lying with me. She asked to come in, and I said alright. She asked me how I was doing, and I knew that she knew. She never explicitly said that she knew, but she must have known. She came and sat with me for a little while. I was thankful for the way she handled it. Some years earlier, my sister had been caught fooling around with a boyfriend and my grandma had been extremely angry with her, so I was really glad I didn’t receive the same treatment.

The months after that are a blur. It definitely bonded my ex and I and we remained together for another year. I’ve always had this feeling of guilt that I didn’t know, and that if I had, maybe our baby would’ve survived. It’s been 6 years now and while I don’t think about it every day, it does weigh on me. I have regret about so much of it. I was taking my pill on time every day, but I still feel it was my fault that I became pregnant, that I lost the baby, and that my ex and I are now tied forever not only by the tragedy that was our relationship, but also by the loss of our child.

I made a post on here a few days ago. I was four months pregnant, we lost the baby. I scheduled a D&C for two days later because we had to find care for our other kids. My body decided the next day it was time and I had my baby in the toilet. the placenta was stuck so I was still attached in the toilet to the baby.

My husband was so amazing. He was crouched in front of me the entire time trying to keep me calm, he even used his flashlight to look into the toilet and see if we could get it out ourselves. Once we decided to call an ambulance and I left, he had to clean the toilet and our bedroom up.

He has been so strong. But I can tell this is destroying him. He has two step daughters that are older and one that’s ours who is 11 months old. He is terrified to ever try again because he feels it’s something wrong with him that caused me to have a miscarriage because I’ve never dealt with anything like this before.

How do I just make him feel better? I understand miscarriages a lot of the time are just unfortunate accidents and don’t really have something to do with either parents, but he is constantly beating himself up that it’s his fault.

Not knowing if my baby's gender adds to my pain.. if I could name the baby and know what we lost I almost feel like it could give me comfort while grieving and I could honor the baby more?... am I alone in that thinking?

I just found out today about my third miscarriage, second this year. I’m supposed to be 9+6 but baby quit growing at 8+3. Life genuinely feels so evil because we saw the heartbeat at 7+1 and 8+1 and it was so strong. I started spotting around week 7, and unfortunately it seems like it was the beginning of the end. It hurts so bad, this baby was supposed to be our double rainbow. I can’t help but feel like it’s my fault because I’ve been so worried this entire time that this exact scenario (missed miscarriage) would happen. It feels like I cursed my baby and allowed this to happen. Logically I know it isn’t my fault, I was doing everything possible to make sure this would be the pregnancy that gave us our first earth-side baby but apparently it wasn’t enough. I know it wasn’t my fault but it feels like it is. Waiting on a call to schedule a D&C and feeling hopeless about the future. I apparently can’t keep my babies safe and alive, and I’m so tempted to just throw in the towel and be childfree despite wanting to try again. I can’t go through a fourth loss, I don’t think my mental health could handle it.

Hi everyone, after a scan today which showed no heartbeat we have basically been told that the pregnancy is not viable but due to their guidelines have to wait the 10 days before they scan again to formally confirm what we know is inevitable. I’m pretty certain on my dates and was measuring on track at the scan two weeks ago so it’s clearly not going to be viable. I should be on my calculations 7w 3d but embryo measured 6w 2d.

I’m terrified of the next 10 days and beyond. I had to be in limbo for the last two weeks between scans and now it feels cruel to have to do it all again but this time with certainty of the outcome.

I was wondering if anyone had any advice about how to cope with the next 10 days of waiting again or if there is anything that can be done in the interim to speed things up at all. I’m scared about miscarrying naturally but also about the various options if this doesn’t happen and unsure which would be the best physically and emotionally?

Sorry if this is rambling I really have no clue and feel so lost with this all. EPU have been good but the nurse today didn’t really go into what to expect or the options available on the basis we do it next time…

I am a bit confused. I had a miscarriage on August 5. And am now pregnant again. I had an ultrasound and was told I am 10 weeks which would put my day of conception August 4th I was told the earliest I could get pregnant would be 2 weeks after my miscarriage. It doesn’t make any sense to me at all. If anyone has any information for me I would greatly appreciate it.

Hi, I’m likely coming back here unfortunately. I had a 16 week loss in May. I had a d&e and all genetic/tissue testing came back normal.

I just went to my ultrasound yesterday where I should have measured 7w4d and instead it’s twins. But they are measuring 5w5d and 6w1d. While there are fetal poles, yolk sacs and embryos there is no cardiac activity and there is no way my dates are that off.

I am going to have a confirmation scan on Tuesday and then likely proceed with a d&c.

I’m curious for those who have experienced recurrent loss what type of tests you have advocated for following your losses? I know my losses could be coincidental but I have a feeling there may actually be a cause.

I know with a blighted ovum your betas still go up but like by how much?

FWIW: my LMP was August 14. I have regular 27-28 day cycles. I was having regular betas drawn and they were rising but low for where I was based off my LMP but not too low if I had ovulated late. On October 8 I had an ultrasound and was told there was a gestational sac measuring 5w5d and I would have been 7w6d at that point.

Yesterday I go to my doctor and we discuss proceeding with a d&c this week. She wanted to check my hcg one more time. We were anticipating it to have fallen. Instead it more than doubled. So now they want me to come back for another TVUS this Thursday. I have no hope that there will magically be a yolk sac or fetal pole but I’m a little confused by these numbers.

9/17: 58
9/21: 205
9/23: 442
9/26: 997
9/29: 2,397
10/3: 5,256 (at this point I was told I could stop hcg draws because a TVUS would be more helpful if/how pregnancy was progressing. Thus the almost 10 day gap between this and the next)
10/12: 14,749

it was supposed to be 9 weeks 2 days today, but the latest ultrasound showed it stopped growing at 6 weeks 6 days. Yesterday when the bleeding started we spent an entire day at the emergency department, in the waiting room pretty much. Today she's been having the worst pain ever, and I cannot just bear with it. I wish God took all the pain from her and gave me instead, even if it is 10x of her pain.