r/DivorcedBirds • u/cthulhu-kitty • Jan 24 '18

The tweet that started it all

15.3k Upvotes

66 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 6h ago

Her makeup? Snatched. Her dress? Exquisite. Her shoes? On point. Francisca has places to be and things to do, and none of them involve wasting time with losers like Alberto.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

289 Upvotes

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 16h ago

Post divorce, Nick insisted he was handling things with dignity. But when he spotted his ex-wife’s new boyfriend at a barbecue, he launched himself across the lawn screaming, “YOU’LL NEVER LOVE HER LIKE I DID!” The children cried. Someone called the police. Fran kept eating her potato salad.

340 Upvotes

11 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/hdofu • 3h ago

Lisa was tired of being ignored by Jasper, she wanted to be noticed!

gallery

20 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Bolfreak • 5h ago

You don’t say, Phoebe!! I have no ambition in life, huh Phoebe? I’m always on the fence about stuff, right Phoebe?!

25 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/FoundWaldo_meh • 6h ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Although Richard still couldn’t believe his now ex-wife used THOSE pictures during the final divorce proceeding, he strutted out of that courtroom with his head held high. Not even the intense embarrassment of the now publicly available pictures could dampen his mood or bright new future.

23 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 3h ago

Not Safe For Other Species "Oh, too good to even look at me, now? Bitch..."

7 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 1d ago

After 22 years with a woman who thought dancing was ridiculous, Stanley was finally free to kick up his heels. He bought fabulous turquoise dancing shoes, took salsa lessons, and learned to shake his tail feathers. His ex called it a midlife crisis. Stanley called it the time of his life.

571 Upvotes

7 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 23h ago

Patricia was enjoying dinner with a handsome, flamboyantly dressed stranger she’d met online. He was charming, colorful, and knew how to make an entrance. Unfortunately, her jealous ex Richard showed up, threw a spectacular tantrum, and chased him away. Time to renew that restraining order.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

103 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/rehabforcandy • 1d ago

Gerald had a sinking suspicion getting back with Patricia was a bad idea but he didn’t know why

1.1k Upvotes

12 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 1d ago

The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved "Esmond, we need to talk about your influence on my son. You know he loves his uncle Esmond, but we're trying to raise him to respect women. So please, just cool it with the 'I hate my wife' jokes, okay? Besides, it's been, what, ten years since the divorce? You've gotta move on."

gallery

142 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 1d ago

Marjorie decided it was time for a new look. Her hairdresser promised her something youthful, edgy and guaranteed to attract younger men. Unfortunately, she walked out looking like a retired lesbian gym teacher from 1987. Still, it was an improvement over the 34 years she’d spent married to Harold.

222 Upvotes

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 1d ago

Chuck announced to Barb he was leaving her for a younger bird. He expected tears, begging, perhaps a dramatic confrontation. Instead, Barb handed him his suitcase and said, “Wonderful. Now you can disappoint two women in one lifetime.” Chuck decided his exit needed to be spectacular.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

112 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 2d ago

Angry Bird Divorce "I'll run through the water to hide my tracks. You'll never make me be a supportive husband and father, Cindy!"

217 Upvotes

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • 3d ago

Since their divorces, Helen and Margarite had traded their ex-husbands for a new common enemy: the surveillance state. Armed with absolutely no plans to calm down, they took to the streets to fight social injustice and the overreaching police state! No justice, no peace!

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

1.2k Upvotes

39 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Jerome_Wireman • 2d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Brenda’s therapist told her to “get out of her own head” when re-entering the dating market. Brenda took the advice a bit literally.

79 Upvotes

https://www.comedywildlifephoto.com/gallery/finalists/2026_finalists.php#&gid=1&pid=12

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 3d ago

She's taking the CTA to her first day of work. The seats are packed with people staring at their phones: strong, independent people. Normal people. Kayla is one of them now. She'll live and work and spend her money in this wondrous and dreadful city, and never see Walter again. She's finally free.

202 Upvotes

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/A-Helpful-Flamingo • 2d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Carlo built this beautiful nest for the love of his life, Isabella. Unfortunately, the love of Isabella’s life was Fabio.

gallery

25 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Plantfishcatmom • 3d ago

After years of all the cooking, cleaning. The moods. She’de had enough.

432 Upvotes

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • 3d ago

Shining a light on the devastating effects of a bitter divorce, Mathias was a straight-A student with Ivy League dreams. Then his parents split, shuffling him back and forth for years in a custody tug-of-war. The promising future slipping away, he's just a fledgling but already wanted by the law.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

53 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • 4d ago

Greg wanted a trip to South Korea for a little beauty refresh. As he laid there, he realized he should not have trusted his Ex to book his trip. Armed guards, constant weigh-ins, the questionable airbnb, he was in an international hostage situation with North Korea!

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

466 Upvotes

18 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/thegreatjamoco • 3d ago

The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved Gonçalo did his daily gyrations at the strip club with a defeated mien. 4 years of Shakespearean training at NYU and all he’ll ever be seen as is just a “cock on a rock”

43 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • 3d ago

You know what you did.

69 Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 4d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Having lost his family and home all at once, Herb put his name above his bed at the YMCA so he could feel some sense of control over his environment.

607 Upvotes

19 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 4d ago

The teachers wouldn't like her being up here. "You're usually such a well-behaved girl," they'd say. But being a good girl just made the other children all the more relentless in their cruelty. Hazel couldn't possibly ride with them. She couldn't bear to hear their jokes about her parent's divorce.

gallery

45 Upvotes

5 comments

Subreddit

For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists.

r/DivorcedBirds

For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists. Please post pictures of birds who look like they are twice divorced (or more!) and an original caption about their backstory. Pictures/Videos must be of actual birds (feathered fowl), not human women, not art or paintings or photoshopped. No dead birds. Message mods for approval to post.

Members Active

249.9k