I’m 14, and my birth is a little different because my moms used gender selection IVF to make sure they had a boy. I’m curious, when you had your kids, was there a specific gender you really wanted, or did it not matter to you?

Mine will only fall asleep easily if he has his finger in his belly button. I gave up the fight a long time ago but there’s no way I’m the only one.

Okay a little backstory - I have two children and almost 3 year old and an almost 2 year old. My oldest and I co-slept until he was almost 9 mos old and I had to transition him to his room / crib because little sister was coming. After the initial adjustment he did really great and everything went well with him (little sister woke up at least twice a night until she was like 19 mos 🙃 so sleep has not been a constant in our household).

Everything with my oldest was fine until April of this year when he started to HATE his room and crib and I mean screaming like he was being murdered. I tried everything under the sun and spent HOURS in the middle of the night scrolling articles, we talked to his doctors, etc etc and nothing worked. We transitioned him to a big boy bed and admittedly I backslid into cosleeping because I just needed sleep and sister was also struggling so my husband and I just each took a kid essentially. Otherwise my son would wake up at like 2-3 am and stay up until he crashed at 10 am just screaming until we got him no matter how many times we checked in or cuddled or whatever.

Now we do still cosleep for naps. We did quiet time for awhile and even got a wake light that turns green in the morning and after quiet time was done that seemed to help for a good bit but he wasn’t sleeping at nap time and was struggling worse being overtired so I started to let him nap with me. Still he wakes up screaming anywhere from 2 am to 4 am and recently it is every. Single. Night. Like so loud I’m afraid someone outside will hear him and think he’s being hurt.

I’ve tried the chair method - made it worse. I’ve tried letting him cry it out - he just freaks out. I’ve looked for signs of night terrors and nightmares (he has had a few but it’s definitely not every night because his behaviors are way different). I’ve tried letting him keep his tonie with him for comfort. I’ve tried different nightlights. He has white noise, a wake light, heck the dog even sleeps in his room for comfort. We’ve sprayed the room for “monsters” (after he mentioned them) we walk through and check every night so he feels secure. I mean we’ve done everything.

Now - my problem. I’m due with my third baby next April. He was a huge surprise and I will most likely be attempting to breastfeed and doing 100% of the night wakings with the new baby when he comes. My husband DOES help with the toddlers and wants to help overnight when he can but he will be working and he does construction work so he also needs sleep at some point. On the worst nights in our house my son and daughter wake up and need comfort - but overall my son is the big issue sleep wise.

I just feel so hopeless and defeated and frustrated and like I’ll never sleep again. There’s no new information I can research, I mean when I say we’ve tried everything we really have. Even Co sleeping again is not an option because he is a light sleeper and would wake up with the new baby anyway. I also tend to be more snappy when I don’t sleep so I’m scared about my ability to stay healthy both emotionally and physically.

I guess my question is are there any ways my husband and I can manage this? Do we just accept that it’ll be hard for the foreseeable future? Can I do anything to regain control or sanity even if it’s just for myself? I just am at my wits end at this point.

TLDR; my toddler wakes and screams all night and nothing we’ve tried (we’ve tried EVERYTHING) helps more than temporarily. My other toddler also occasionally wakes. With a new baby on the way - How do I stay sane?!

We recently moved and my daughter made a friend at school. They’re both 8 years old. She says she’s her absolute best friend and plays with her above everyone else at school. We had her over a few days ago, and she mentioned she chased her brothers around the house with a knife and tried to stab them. Concerning for sure, but I’ve heard multiple stories of kids doing this before, including my childhood friend/neighbor, so it wasn’t a deal breaker, just something to keep an eye on.
Well, today, I picked them both up from school and on the way home she told my daughter her favorite things are “death, blood, gore, and dead bodies.” I didn’t even know what to say. I pulled my daughter aside once we got home and had a talk with her about it, asked if she had any questions, etc. Now they’re playing in the other room as her mom won’t be home from work for a few hours.
What would you do in this situation? Am I just naive and sheltered or is that extremely concerning coming from someone that age? Do I tell her mom or just limit playtime knowing they’re still glued at the hip at school? Any other advice?

I've been teaching after-school classes for a couple of years now, but for some reason it's only recently dawned on me just how PACKED some of my students' schedules are
It's made me genuinely curious about how parents decide which activities to prioritize vs which ones might need to get shelved, and how much unstructured downtime y'all think kids need? 🤔

I teach early elementary classes, so by the time they get to my lesson, they've already spent most of their waking day at their regular school ... and you can definitely tell most of the time ~
Some of the kids are flat out exhausted, some are already whining and ready to go home before class even starts, and some are just DONE with having to sit down and do more work for the day, but have already accepted their fate for the next 1hr30min lmaooo

THEN I'll hear some of them talking about how they have another class after mine, or soccer practice, or dance, or piano lessons, or art class, or more tutoring/other schooling (like Kumon, Mathnasium, Think Zone, RSM, etc etc), or literally any other activity!!

I think part of why this stands out to me as much as it does is that growing up, I literally only ever went to school and simply went right home LOOOL 😅 I never really had any after-school activities or extra classes, so hearing how some of my students go from school -> my class -> ANOTHER activity afterward -> possibly even one more sometimes is SUCH a different reality from what I personally experienced as a kid :o Not that I think either way of growing up is necessarily better than the other!! it's just really interesting to see how different those experiences can be

So yeah, I'm just interested to learn how y'all figure out that balance between giving kids opportunities to learn and explore different interests while also letting them just be kids.
Is there some kind of student's hierarchy of needs when it comes to after-school activities (which is literally how I started visualizing this question the moment it formed in my mind lmaoo )

I’m asking here because I don’t really have a parent who cares about what I do, and I need some actual parental advice.

I’m 17F and graduating in May. Ever since I was little, I’ve wanted to join the Air Force, but now that I’m getting closer to graduating, I’m starting to not want tk I have a boyfriend who I’ve been with since 7th grade, and he’s already graduated and is going to school to become an EMT/firefighter.

If I join the military, I’ll barely get to see him, and honestly, he’s the only person in this world who I feel truly cares about me. I’m not even being dramatic when I say that, and he wants me to go but a part of me wants to stay here with him when I do want to go i could do something else with my life, I just don't know what

If this was your kid, what would you tell them? I really need advice from a parent’s perspective.

I (15F) got a bad grade on a chemistry quiz and was told I couldn't go to a party I had planned to go to for weeks, and that was that night. I've had my phone taken away for 5 days, and I just got it back, and it turns out she has enabled the "dumb phone" setting, which you can do on an iPhone, apparently. Am I entitled to be upset over this? I know I am lucky to have a phone in the first place but this hurts.

Basically I’m 16 and have absolutely shit mentally health and honesty can’t take it anymore. Stuff starting to get bad again and I’m debating on telling my parents

Wow, how do I explain this - my mom dated a super abusive guy and couldn't be told he was abusive, she gives her money away to people who pretend to be her friends to get her money and leaves us with financial problems as a result, she sold our house for less than half it's worth without hiring anyone to appraise it first based on the word of the guy she sold it to because the city gave her a code notice and told her to fix termites.... If I complain, or question, or criticize, or point out at all that she is making bad choices that make all our lives harder she says, "i'm not doing this right now" and refuses to talk to me completely for months or longer... this causes me problems if I need help, which I do... based on the description of my mom it should be easy to guess that I didn't have a normal childhood and struggle somewhat as an adult, not that the economy is good... but like, I could never move home and live with her because of the issue i'm describing, she lets other family members live with her and fully supports them, right now she is paying the way for my little sister, her boyfriend, and two of her daughters and one of their boyfriends (the other is single)..... then she complains constantly about how terrible her life is (it is) and how lonely she is and when we had a bigger home she would even live with people who stole from her and just hide her most important stuff in her bed with her within an arm length from her... like it's really hard to describe what our lives were like compared to "normal" people, but probably totally different... i'm just explaining this to explain why i need help from my mom .... but like also if I say anything she doesn't like or get mad at all she just cuts me off totally, she won't speak to me, won't help if i need it, etc.

She seems to be afraid of me, like all I do is hurt her feelings. I thought she was lying to me today and she got pissed and told me she wouldn't answer the phone for a long time because I "always" think she's lying. I'd love to take the advice of just "cut her off and figure it out on my own" but I don't think that's a practical solution and right now I'm fine but just wanted her to talk to me and to feel included in the family... I feel like that will never happen to me since she doesnt treat me like part of the family and I mean I have no phone numbers but hers, nobody ever tells me what is going on with them, they could just be complete strangers because that's how much I know about them, and so on

Is this helpful or harmful advice?

I’ve been sick for a long time and it’s been getting worse lately.

I battle with grieving the life I wanted to live and adjusting to my reality of being disabled and unable to work enough to meet my own financial needs.

Disability is not enough to live on and I am currently in the shelter system and really struggling with quality of life here.

I told my family I was feeling interested in finding out more about MAID as I don’t see my life getting better with systemic limitations and my own personal limitations.

“I’ve seen you work before and maintain a beautiful life. I know working sucks and having a schedule to adhere to sucks but that’s being an adult.

Time will not stop ticking, before you know it you will be there already a year without any improvement and god knows what other horrific experiences richer.. you have to do something about it, you are the only one that can change the paths of your life. Not the government, not your family/friends.. but you.

And you saying this makes me angry. You have been through so much. And this is how you want to leave the world? Living in a shelter where you don’t belong? I’m sorry but you are way too good for that and you’re choosing this life”.

What am I to do when I can’t? They think it’s a personal failing?

Before any more judgment…I’m sober…educated and all that. I did all the “things” and I’m still sick.

“And working for minimum wage sucks, it’s horrible… but it’s a 10000 times better than being stuck in a shelter with all th stories you told me. You start from the bottom and you work your way up, it’s horrible that life is like that.. but it is. It just is, and there is nothing you can do that Is going to change that. You will not be able to beat that system. And for your own sake; If you can’t beat them, join them. And later on, when you grow and start making more money, you will be able to do things you love to do, to travel, to give back to the community, whatever.”

I've been confident in raising my 4 children. My oldest son turns 13 this weekend. Then 2 weeks later his sister turns 12. I remember my teen years so vividly. I'm looking for any tips or advice on how to support this next chapter! I've cried twice today because my kids are growing so fast it's so wonderful and sad at the same time.

Hey folks,

I am expecting my 2nd child next spring. Another girl (yay!)

I have a 2.5 yo little girl now. And I’m trying to decide whether or not we should move her into a big girl bedroom, or should we just opt to have them share.

I’m not sure which will be the least disruptive for her. Any perspective for or against would help greatly! Thanks

I will make the backstory as short as possible. my parents divorced when i was around 5 or 6. My mom and dad both remarried. My dad actually remarried to a psychologist, which makes this story all the weirder.

When I was younger, my dad was resistant to the idea that me and my brother, who share similar psychological disorders, were in fact disordered. He mostly exerted this viewpoint towards my older brother. When I was very young(around 4th grade?), and clinically presented with my condition for the first time, I brought it up with him casually and he simply said that I didn't have it(more accurately, he likely did not see it in me, as I did a good job repressing). This was the last time the topic of my disorder ever came up, at least that I remember.

Fast forward to today, and after years of neglecting my mental health/suppressing it from my friends/family/everybody, I finally gave into myself and accepted that I needed help. I have been on meds for about 8 months. I also started therapy for the first time, and have been going for the last 10 months. My mom knows that I am on meds. My stepdad knows. All of my siblings on my mom's side know. But, my dad does not. I do not know how he would react to the fact that I have not only hidden my condition from him for almost a decade(whether or not I even believed I had it*,* during periods of time), but have since hidden my attempts at treating it. To be fair, I hid (with varying degrees of efficacy) my condition from my mom's side as well... just less successfully.

So, how should I go about telling my dad I am on meds and have been doing therapy? Should i tell him at all?

Edit: For what it's worth, the disorder(s) in question is OCD and Tourettes

Just curious, where do you keep your phone at night? Have basically co slept since birth with 3 month old. Just wondering where people keep their phone or what the night light, clock, play a game while LO breastfeeds in the middle of the night set up is like for other people.

Used to charge phones in our kitchen before having baby now it’s basically under my pillow and in bed with us.

I’m 18 and I was raised Christian (Baptist) I still believe in God and pray, but I don’t feel the same connection to Christianity anymore, if that makes sense. I’ve gone to church every Sunday since I was a baby, and I’ve always volunteered for stuff but lately (like a year) I just don’t really want to go anymore. My parents aren’t crazy religious, but ik they’ll be upset if I tell them how I feel. I’m not saying I don’t believe in God I just feel like my relationship with Christianity has changed, and I want to figure things out for myself, kinda and don't want to go church anymore like would this make you upset

My mother 67 seems to think my brother 43 is "fine" and "that is how he is". I 38f have noticed the signs of schizophrenia and maybe bipolar in my brother, like hes thinking people are going to murder him, wanting to sell up propertys and disappear, scaring his new partners when he has psychosis episodes as well as other common issues that come with that diagnosis. But according to our mother im just exaggerating my brothers issues. Im worried that im going to lose my brother like we lost our sister 44 to schizophrenia, shes been no contact for over 10years with our whole family.

I have children and i take their mental health issues seriously we have open discussions about whats good and bad thoughts and when they become a problem. But maybe its just my mums generation being that mental health wasnt a thing back then? Has anyone had similar with their family or parents and how has it turned out?

Apologies for a long read in advance, but genuinely need advice.
I’m 23, recently graduated. Currently unemployed.

I live in a different country from my parents, and I have a long ongoing problem with me and my mom, in a nutshell we’re on bad terms.

There are many reasons why, but here’s a few ones:

-Ever since I was a child, she always kept comparing me to her friends’ children, how they were doing this or that. Though I did really good in school, but that sort of behavior made me into a perfectionist and when I make a mistake once, it equals as failure to me.

-Since I’ve graduated, I need to get a job, just a regular minimum wage job, to build my skills, and start earning my own income. My mom seems fully negative about this idea, which I can understand why, but she doesn’t understand that it’s a normal thing, and that having incredible results on your diploma hardly matters nowadays.
One of the examples I said, that my friend worked minimum wage before he got an industry job, everyone has to get through this. To which she replied “Oh so you want to look up to your friend?” Which is weird, since my friend enjoys his job and is genuinely someone smart.

-Every call or every discussion about what I did or what my plans are turns into an argument, and because I am quite similar in nature to her, we just keep arguing. I’ve learned how to back off since I don’t live with them anymore, and in general just stopped sharing any information with her at all, simply because I know it will turn into an argument. I’m on good terms with my dad, my brother and my grandma, because at very least they’re willing to listen, and even if we argue, we eventually come to an understanding. And she gets all angry that she’s always the last person finding out news about me.

I don’t want to give up on my mom, nor I hate her at all, I just want her to listen without me having to defend myself every single time I talk to her.

It’s just every single time I try to do it, I’m back to square one. Which is why I end up talking to her once a month. And she thinks that I genuinely hate her, which is not true.

I genuinely don’t know what to do, I just want my mom be able to listen, understand that I can’t agree with everything she says and that I’m capable of doing things my way as an adult.

I'll preface this with the standard I love my kiddo, she has MANY redeeming qualities & we've gone to the Dr. to eliminate mental health concerns. This has been an ongoing conversation in our household since she was 12/13 ...

My daughter (17) makes me want to scream & cry in frustration as she cannot seem to tolerate the "less than pleasant" life tasks (like cleaning the cat's litter box), so chores, etc. are not done without continuous nagging. No matter the consequences - if the task is something she doesn't enjoy she simply forgets it exists, until she gets in trouble for not doing it. General reminders are met with "I know" - then getting upset with her when it still isn't done (sometimes DAYS after she was to complete a task) results in her having a crying breakdown where she mentally beats herself up ... but nothing changes.

We've tried all sorts of consequences - removing all access to phones, etc., canceling of anticipated events, grounding - even letting life provide the consequences on its own ... but still, she hasn't made sure the cats have been fed their dry food in 3 days (I've been watching, we don't want them to starve - they have free access to bowls of dry food throughout the day plus get fed wet food every evening - it's the dry food she's supposed to keep full). Of course, when I asked her about it, I was told " I'll deal with it" at which point advised her it had been 3 days and the cats were officially out of food ... cue the meltdown... I'm just so over this ...

I don't feel we're asking inappropriate things for her to contribute to the household - keep her room reasonably tidy, clean the litter box & feed the cats (we have 3), alternate being on dish duty with her brother (14) & mow the lawn (we live where that's only a task 1/2 the year 😆).

We've asked her to get a part time job for the past 2 years to be able to buy herself "extra" things ... like hair dye, etc - but she has no desire. And no, we don't buy them for her anyway - she knows she needs to find the funds herself - but it doesn't stop her from dropping hints on the regular.

She has no issues doing things she enjoys - she made a very nice stuffed animal from fabric scraps to give to a friend yesterday evening on a whim - but all the tasks that need attention are ignored until someone makes her do it ... I'm over it, she's 17, not 7.

How do I manage this until she gets it? How many more years before she realizes life is full of unpleasant, yet very necessary, tasks and that they need doing as much as the fun things ...

Hi I’m a 21 female and married. Me and my husband are currently living apart for our own well-being as of rn but this isn’t about him. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a mother. Not to fill a void or have something to wake up to daily, but to really experience the one thing I’ve always longed for. To raise a beautiful child to see the best in this world. To explore, teach, build memories, try new things, etc. Being able to grow such a beautiful creation you’ve created sounds like one of the BEST blessings to me. I’m also not just wanting a child without thinking about what comes with it. I am currently a veteran and have many benefits from it. My healthcare is taken care of and any dependent i add will be well taken care of, i have a separate savings account where i add money in constantly, i have good sources of income, i currently live alone comfortably with no finally worry, I have a vehicle in my name, and I’m mentally prepared for the blessing. I completely understand I’m young and have so much to experience and probably growing as well. I’ve already started to travel and see the world and also expand my education. I just recently got out the military so I am in school online and will get payed for that as well. Going to parties have never been my thing so I’m not worried about that honestly. I’ve never been to a party fr so Idc to start travelling is more fun. Having a child will not stop my travelling grind it’ll only give me more experiences and let me have more fun. Another big thing for me is my scoliosis. I am unfortunately diagnosed with scoliosis and wouldn’t want to wait for me to get worse and be in pain. I am more than capable of taking care of myself and i would highly appreciate and love help. I’m more than willing to be a single mother and experience motherhood on my own accord. I have a supportive family and my husband’s side of the family is supportive as well. Me and my husband aren’t on the best terms but he said he will be with me the out every single step as well and i live him for though. Any thoughts or advice??

​

I'm 15F, and I've had experiences in the past where my mom would go through my journal. It wasn't really a problem when I was younger, but when my parents separated and I started journaling about it, she began reading my entries. I even found pictures of them on her phone.

Whenever I wrote something about her that upset me, she'd bring it up later and say things like I think she's a bad mom or that I hate her. But I don't think that. I just get upset with her sometimes, like any other person would with their parent. I want to be able to process those feelings privately before deciding how to communicate them.

I've asked her if I deserve my own space to process my thoughts before saying them out loud, and she basically said no. I genuinely don't understand why. I'm not necessarily hiding anything bad; sometimes I just need time to think. Plus, I'm a teenager. I might write embarrassing things, make jokes, explore romantic feelings, or have questions about sex that I'm not actually planning to act on. I don't want every thought I write down to become a conversation or be taken as an indication of what I'm going to do.

I have struggled with my mental health in the past, including suicidal thoughts, so I can understand why my mom might worry about what I'm thinking and want to know if I'm struggling. But at the same time, she has often told me I shouldn't talk about certain things or think about them, (boys, sex, dating) and she can get uncomfortable when we discuss puberty and similar topics. Because of that, I don't always feel comfortable opening up to her about my mental health, romantic attraction, or other personal things.

Honestly, I feel like reading my journal is doing the opposite of what she wants. It's making me less comfortable talking to her because I'm worried about how she'll react or interpret what I say. I want to have a relationship where I can ask questions, discuss difficult things, and be honest without feeling like every thought will be misunderstood.

So I'm wondering: Do teenagers deserve privacy to process their thoughts, even when their parents are worried about their mental health? and what do I do?

I'd especially like to hear from parents, particularly mothers, whose children have struggled with mental health issues. If your relationship with your child went from them being closed off to feeling comfortable opening up to you, what helped you get there? How did you rebuild that trust and make it easier for them to talk to you? And how do I be open with my mom when I feel embarrassed or fear her over reacting when I bring up sex or attraction to guys

Im possibly autistic and so this isn’t just a rant but more learning if this is normal behaviour from others.

Is this mum just being a blatant bully?

A school mum messaged me on WhatsApp with what she called an ‘unofficial invite’ to their child’s bday party as they were ‘gauging how many people would attend’ but then also tagged the invitation card with date and time etc. so I messaged back thanking for the invite and saying we’d go but not to worry if she sees me little girl there too as she’ll go separately with her dad to play in the soft play themselves obviously just paid by us.

So I was half waiting for her to make it official and confirm and say it’s going ahead…she didn’t get back to me and texted on the day of the bday party saying how she missed us and hoped everything was ok….i messaged back apologising we were waiting to hear back from her and sorry we missed it.

Now this is a mum who’s always on the group chats and replies practically straight away. After I sent that message, I see her reply to the group chats but totally reads and ignores my message…..

Was she actually trying not to invite us? We go to a small village school and there’s not many kids.

She also asked how my summer was previously and I said my grandma passed away and she blanked that one too until I saw her at school drop off and she gave me a hug and said she’s so sorry for our loss. We did start talking last year and she invited me to her home and we got on quite well and suddenly she just started ignoring me. Probably me asd traits awkwarded her out lol but don’t send me an invite if you didn’t want us there?….or what’s happening here….

what is your favorite baby monitor? My daughter is a year old, and we’ve. been using the owlet monitor since we already have the sock, my problem with the owlet, is to see or hear the baby you have to be on the app it doesn’t come with the big component that’s always on, that being said my daughter is 13 months old and still sleeps in my room, i don’t mind it because she’s a great sleeper and always has been but i miss my tv and being able to watch tiktok at night so i think it’s time for her to be in her own room but i can’t do that until i have a good monitor i can always hear bc although she sleeps through the night she’s still a baby and babies are unpredictable 🤣

Books like *What to Expect When You’re Expecting.* Can anyone say, “Oh I had the 2008 edition and it did NOT mention DHA?” Or when did it become a recommendation and how did you know about it? Thank you!!