People leave and ghost and it just doesn't make sense why. It's almost like there's something unpleasant about you that everyone can see except you

Fall is my favorite time of year. I’ve been struggling so badly lately, feeling so alone. My friends are all doing cute fall things with their significant others and here I am spending another year alone. I like watching horror movies and I literally just sit and watch them alone. I love my own company but It’s really bumming me out. Last year my Halloween sucked. A guy I thought was going to be my date blew me off in the worst way so I just third wheeled. I told myself “maybe it will be better next year” and it doesn’t look that way.

I just feel so alone and whenever I tell my friends they try to be optimistic or just dismiss it like “focus on what you do have”. I know they are trying to help but they don’t understand. The perfect relationships just fell into their lap. Everyone is tired of hearing me complain so I just deal with it alone now. It’s not even worth it to tell them I’m struggling. What can they do? I guess I’m just doomed to keep being a third wheel or sometimes even a 5th wheel.

I feel hopeless and utterly alone. I can’t do this another year.

And no I’m not looking for advice, I’ve heard enough “it will happen when you least expect it” or “you got to put yourself out there” or “your friends still hang out with you!” For a fucking lifetime. Nothing helps.

I’ve been wondering for a while, and I know this sub probably has more conventionally ugly and neurodivergent people than your typical sub, but I was wondering if this extends to other parts of life as well.

I’d be curious to hear a little about the troubles you had growing up with socializing, whether from bullying, neurodivergence, or something else entirely.

As for myself, I was bullied all throughout school, starting in the sixth grade. The bullying pretty much made it impossible to talk to women in high school, and as such my social circle was severely stunted. I mean, who wants to date the guy who gets picked on for his looks in the hallway? Anyway, that’s my story, look forward to hearing yours.

Do you also do this?

For example, I like to think I have pretty eyes. So I go outside in a mall for example and then I just see the truth. I see how what I think is somewhat exceptional about me, is just average, very common and usual. I see hundreds of girls with same or better eyes just walking around casually not making a fuss about their eyes.

It is so sobering and grounding but in negative sense.

The realization of just how replacable and invisible I truly am.

I've felt particularly shitty this week, partly because two nights I woke up from dreams where I had a partner. But even in my "wildest" dreams, I only ever want the mundane, ordinary life that so many people have.

In one dream, I woke up to my partner making breakfast. We sat down together and drank coffee and ate eggs and bacon. That's it. And it made me so happy that the feeling lingered after I woke up.

The second dream was just me and my partner holding hands on the bus and giving each other a quick kiss before settling in for a nap. I guess we were going on a trip. Literally things that most people just experience like it's nothing special. It gave me whiplash to wake up from these dreams and remember that I'm alone and always have been.

Naturally, I have romantic and sexual desires, but I can't have anyone—I've never been able to have anyone; and I can't just let it go—I feel extremely cuckolded at the mere thought of someone else touching someone I'm interested in.

Honestly, I don't know what I should do then.

I feel like this is an underrated aspect of solitude. That there's actually nobody to comfort you when you're struggling. I'm currently going through hell with my health and all I want is someone to hug me and tell me I'm going to be fine. I can't comprehend that most of the people in the world, during dark times like this would have someone to lean on and do this stuff for them. This cannot be my life bro

I always used to fantasize about an imaginary girlfriend ever since I was a teenager but now I realize I'm only creepy. The older I get women are uncomfortable by me even other men. I thought I could get a girlfriend any day but now I realize it's not going to happen. I'm sorry but I'm too far from the normal person to get a relationship

What should I even say anymore. I made so many posts about this already...

Im 36M from Spain and I have been alone all my life. Im very introverted so superficial connections like most ppl have dont give me anything, just stress. So I need a deep connection... But its so hard to find that.

On top of that, I have asperger and depression and I dont like to go out, my skin is sensitive and I dont have interests. Which makes even more difficult to find someone....

All i ever wanted was to have a life companion. Someone to share everything with, even if everything with me is not much... But having somebody who is always there, to share affection, company... The bad moments, the good ones...

But Im weak, boring, needy and no woman ever wants me...

Im so lonely...

I'm laying in bed all alone and depressed, like the past few birthdays. I don't drink, else I'd probably be out doing that right now. I'm jealous of all the couples who have someone to spend the day with and keep each other company, make each other feel loved. I don't actually care about not getting anything, I've always appreciated getting to spend time with a girl I like/love. It always made me feel appreciated and desired, rather than unloved and unwanted.

I wish I hadn't let getting bullied affect my self esteem growing up, I could have cleaned up in high school and actually have confidence. I mean that in the dating sense, I was Christian at that age so it likely wouldn't have gone beyond dating/kissing. Lots of girls approached me back then but I was shy and getting bullied made me feel like I didn't deserve love.

It's not like my appearance changed much, I didn't get fat or lose my hair. I did get glasses and had them for years, noticed a drastic change in the past five years so I'm getting Lasik to deal with that. And I know if i upgraded my fashion that'd help some but I haven't the slightest idea what's ideal or what's too much.

I used to want a girlfriend that gamed, even if it was casual. Since I was terrified of the thought of getting with someone who hated gaming, or thought it was a waste of time. But now I don't care, so long as she's not anti-gaming and we at least have something in common.

Dating apps don't work for me, barely get likes. The best one is ironically FB as you can message without matching and I get responses, but that doesn't always mean a date happens.

I really hope I can find my future wife before my next birthday, I don't think I can take another one alone but sometimes it's hard not giving into defeat and giving up :/

And it’s so bitter sweet.
Sometimes I just have to pause the game or to stop reading for a bit. Or I straight up avoid to think about myself the whole day just to not crack.

And even in medias or social media you clearly know which woman deserves this kind of love and who doesn’t.

I know romantic love isn’t made for me but I guess I’m as stubborn as a mule and just want to continue bleed myself out for a scrap of what my love live could’ve been.

It makes me really sad but ik I look like a little monstrosity for me out here, I’m not what they imagine a woman is. And it is what it is.

I just wish I didn’t go this far in life to witness me be this undesirable sack of meat

And that 90%+ lose before age of 30.

Just looking at the facts, I'm an average guy, 33 years old, average looks, height, weight, intelligence, if it was common I would've lost it already, I wouldn't be surprised if the stats were skewed because people brag about this shit the most and reading that even 13 year olds do it? bullshit, I was playing fucking San Andreas at that age, no way people have sex this young except some degenerates.

29M, and I don't even get to the point of asking and being rejected. Even my friends don't notice me, or my absence. I just don't seem to register. It's not active rejection, it's passive dismissal. I had a close friend for years in college, details not important but non-romantic close friend. We met again at a wedding and she was all about "haven't heard from you, what's been going on, etc." and she asked for my number so we could hang out after. I had messaged her occasionally but got no reply so I figured she changed numbers or something. She typed my nunber in and I popped right up. I was right there this whole time, I just never came to mind, and I think that's the source of my problem. I just don't register.

24(M) here, forever alone, sending love to all my FA brothers and sisters🫡

If I had a sibling I'm sure they would have a serious relationship by now. Everyone else does. Talk to anyone and the words "my boyfriend/girlfriend" inevitably come up. It's alienating to have always been single at 30. To have been defective in that area. As an only child, my folks seem to think I can do no wrong, that I'm this great guy. If I had a sibling I would just be the weird late bloomer who finally started making good money at 30.

Dating is my Achilles I guess. I have a good job and a house and eventually a nice inheritance and no debt, but dating sucks. I've met 4 people from dating apps this year and only got one second date, and that one I allowed to fizzle out because I just wasn't feeling it. On paper I should be cleaning house. But I'm just defective romantically, and isolated, and if I had a sibling it would be so obvious. I'm so grateful I'm the golden only child instead of the screw up weird older brother.

I’m 26 and my brother is 29 years old. Growing up he had pretty much a different girlfriend every month. Lots of girls were all over him. Some girls in my class would talk to me specifically about him. He also had an abundance of friends. He’d always be out with his friends and doing stuff with them. Now he’s married with 4 kids.

Then there’s me. I haven’t had a girlfriend since I was 12 years old. Still a Virgin technically. Only had one sexual encounter which was very awkward and made the girl uninterested in me. Havent had any friends since I was 19. I’m obviously not married with kids.

Look how insanely different our lives are. It’s almost comedic. Like there has to be some sort of genetic explanation for this. His mind is definitely wired differently from mine and he’s got to be better looking than me too.

Anyone else have this kinda sibling dynamic going on?

Reposting to clarify the previously disjointed idea.

I just realized how back in high school, I was actually moderately socially popular, but I never got anywhere romantically, because most people saw me exclusively as an acquaintance or casual friend, and sometimes as a good friend, but never more.

What got me, likely, was that I was perpetually friend-zoned rather than rejected, because I don't think I was ever actually rejected specifically. I just misinterpreted being friend-zoned as though I was being rejected, and that is likely what led to my persistent attitude of, "You know what, screw humans. I'm going to cut myself off from even thinking about romance, and if somebody wants me, she will have to chase me."

At least I feel like it might be very slightly easier to get past that.

I bet a large part of why I was friend-zoned might have been because, in high school, I deliberately chose to not adopt the almost aggressive mindset that I saw in a lot of the other guys in my class. That mindset, from what I observed, was very aggressive. Basically, they bullied the women into relationships that turned out to be fast and furious, high stakes, and intense, but unstable and short-lived. Some of the most aggressive of my male classmates even managed to get their girlfriends at the time pregnant, and that promptly ended up in a few of them dropping out and broken homes.

So basically, I was seen as just friend material because the ladies in my class were very used to almost being ordered around by the assertive guys, so they didn't really know what to do with me. They saw me as a friend because I didn't force them into dating.

Times like this are very difficult to endure for me. She was my last friend but I pushed her away. She was my everything, she stopped me from ending myself and was always there by my side.

It's ok, it's for the best, she deserves much better than someone as filthy as me. I hope and pray that she leads a happy life and her bad luck ends with me and all her bad luck happens to me instead, and all my good luck happens to her instead.

It feels so hard to continue living this life. It's been full of pain ever since I started remembering things as a kid. I've been wanting to end it all for a long time but i got people depending on my paycheck. I've been waiting for the time when those dependencies end and I'm free to not live in this hell anymore. I've been counting down the years, 6..5..4..3.. now a little more than 2 years.

I've seen so many things throughout those years, ups and downs, lows and highs, but the only things constant were the pain and time. Man I'm so so desperate for my time to come. I don't want to live a minute longer in this world. I wish I'd have experienced all the good things i see people around me have, but it's never worked out for me. I don't want it all to end, i just want to be happy. But it doesn't seem to happen, and death feels like the closest thing to happiness right now.

My heart is so heavy and my eyes are holding back tears, still I wake up tomorrow and go to work so i can sell more of my empty soul. I'm running towards something i don't know, I want things that seem impossible, the room is full of my prayers that God seems to not answer.

I cannot imagine my mom and dad after i go, i cannot bear imagining anything more than a glimpse of the pain they will feel. Even then, I'm only passing on my pain, at the end i couldn't even end the pain, such a powerless entity I am.

I’m 31, will my life be shorter due to being a virgin like the stats say? Cuz honestly every year that goes by the less bearable this gets.

I don’t drink or do drugs and am in decent shape.

I mean is it a coincidence that many people die right after their spouse dies?

I always have this feeling that Nature doesn't want me to have children. My animalistic desires urge me to find a partner and to build a family. That's atleast my dream. But there is constantly this unpleasant feeling lurking which kills off my motivation to put in any effort into achieving it.

My genetics are bad unfortunately. I'm not ugly. But I have a weak body/skeleton. I was always weaker and slower compared to other people. Therefore it's hard not to feel like shit. No confidence, no self-esteem.

I did approach women in the past. But not even the below average looking girls were interested.

But again, even If I would find someone, I would still feel uncomfortable because I just don't feel like a man.

I feel like a weak boy.

I don't know what is left for me but dying? I have difficulties competing in this society. I got no energy for anything productive.

All that is left for me is finding comfort in god and just waiting till the world kills me off i guess.

Someone here who feels the same?

I have spent much of my life feeling like I am someone people dislike, look down on, or find difficult to accept. I have severe alopecia, which has affected my appearance and self-esteem. I often feel as though teachers think something is wrong with me, parents assume I am a drug user, and students look at me with disgust or make hurtful comments about my appearance.

One of the most painful experiences I had was in school, when some girls played a prank on me by pretending to like me and be my friends. At the time, I was going through one of the lowest points in my life because my grandfather was hospitalized. Having someone show me kindness gave me something positive to focus on during a difficult time. I genuinely believed they wanted to be my friends, and I wanted to thank one of the girls for the kindness I thought she had shown me.

Instead, she called me a creep in front of everyone, and I was humiliated publicly on things I opened up about. I became the subject of ridicule, and people mocked me as though I had done something shameful. I had saved up money to buy a suit for my graduation and grad prom, something that meant a lot to me because I rarely spent money on myself. Even that experience was overshadowed by the humiliation. The situation became so serious that the principal threatened to suspend me if there were any further complaints about me. I was told that the girl was being picked on because other students were laughing at her as though she were my girlfriend, so I felt I had to avoid the situation altogether.

That experience left me feeling ashamed, isolated, and afraid of being misunderstood. I was simply hoping for friendship and a little kindness when I needed it most, but instead, I felt as though I had become a joke to everyone.

My family relationships have been painful, too. My siblings have told me they do not want me speaking to them and that I should never contact them again. I honestly do not understand what I have done to deserve this. I would say hello to them because they live with my aunt, but I now feel unwelcome by that entire side of the family. I have even been described as bad luck. Being rejected by people who are supposed to be close to me has made me question my worth and wonder why they want nothing to do with me.

Things have become difficult at work as well. A coworker I used to exchange ordinary greetings and small talk with suddenly began swearing at me and insulting me. He made cruel comments about my hair, my appearance, and my body odour, and mocked me for being bald and for supposedly never talking to women. He continued berating me, and I did not know how to respond.

When I feel frightened or overwhelmed, I tend to smile involuntarily. I do not smile because I find the situation funny or because I am not taking the abuse seriously. It seems to be my reaction when I do not know what else to do. Sometimes I feel as though I can either smile or cry, and I struggle to control that response. The more aggressive my coworker became, the more I froze and smiled, which seemed to make him even angrier. I hated myself for not being able to stand up for myself, even though I was genuinely scared and did not know how to react.

My alopecia has made everything even harder. I opened up about wearing a wig to cover my hair loss, trusting people with something deeply personal about my appearance. Once people at work found out, the information spread rapidly. Since then, I have experienced relentless bullying, including people grabbing my head. Something I shared because I wanted to feel more comfortable and confident has become another reason for people to target and humiliate me.

I feel as though I cannot escape being judged. At school, I was humiliated when I thought someone liked me. Within my family, I feel unwanted and rejected. At work, I am insulted and physically harassed over my appearance. These experiences have accumulated to the point where I struggle to sleep and find it difficult to understand why people seem to turn against me so suddenly.

I do not know how to respond when people are cruel to me. I do not know how to defend myself when I am frightened, and I do not understand why being vulnerable or trying to connect with others has sometimes resulted in humiliation.

My life feels as though it has been going downhill for a long time. I feel exhausted, isolated, and unwanted, and I have started to hate myself because of the way other people treat me. I keep wondering what is wrong with me and why I cannot seem to find a place where I am accepted.

All I have wanted is to be treated with basic kindness and respect. I want to be able to go to work without being humiliated, to have relationships with my family, to make friends without being made into a joke, and to feel comfortable in my own skin despite my alopecia.

Right now, I feel as though I am being attacked from every direction, and I do not know how much more I can take. I am struggling to understand how to move forward when so many experiences have left me feeling rejected, ashamed, and alone. I just want to understand why this keeps happening and how I can find a way to live without constantly feeling as though I am unwanted.

I’m starting to lose hope that I’ll never be able to find a boyfriend. Boys throw themselves at me all the time but none of them fit my standards. I’m not sure if my standards are considered high and I’m willing to explain what I look for in a guy in DMs, and would like a second opinion whether or not I should lower them